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Reviews tagging 'Adult/minor relationship'

Ein wenig Leben by Hanya Yanagihara

2541 reviews

challenging dark emotional reflective sad slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven: Character
Strong character development: Complicated
Loveable characters: Yes
Diverse cast of characters: Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

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dark emotional sad medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven: Character
Strong character development: Yes
Loveable characters: Yes
Diverse cast of characters: Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

This is a book that felt profound to read, and that I would never ever recommend to anyone I know.
I generally agree with the criticisms I've heard: the violence and abuse can feel excessive to the point of traumaporn (by the final quarter of the book I found myself racing through certain pages to get them over with as quickly as possible, pained and exhausted by the drawn out descriptions of horror), the book is unnecessarily long and repetitive, and the main characters are all implausibly brilliant, talented, successful, and wealthy to the point where I found it a bit eye-roll-inducing. That being said, I was incredibly moved by and deeply invested in these characters' stories, especially Jude, whose lifelong inner monologue of fear and shame felt like a horribly, vividly real depiction of the way childhood abuse can take such deep root in a person's psyche long after the fact. There were also moments of prose so sublime that I had to pause to fully savor the passage before I could continue.

It was a book that dealt in extremes: an impossibly perfect adult life to provide the highest contrast with Jude's horrific childhood, and his tragic foray back into victimhood with Caleb. I read an interview in which Hanya Yanagihara said she wanted to write a characters that was beyond saving; I think she failed to do this. The most painful thing about the story is how very saveable Jude seems to be; it is the many, many moments with people who care deeply for him in which, if he or they had made a different choice than they had in that moment, things might have gone differently for him—he might have opened up and found some release, he might have allowed himself to heal, he might, he might, if only, if only....

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challenging dark emotional mysterious reflective sad tense slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven: Character
Strong character development: Yes
Loveable characters: Yes
Diverse cast of characters: Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

I loved reading this book-- I cried reading it and the characters now live in my brain having finished it. I think of them daily. It really impacted me to see trauma discussed so frankly and accurately, especially when society loves to hide traumatized people like us away. Despite it being slow-paced and 800 pages, I sped through it in a couple days.
The one thing I wish would be that we had more of Malcom's perspective. I really liked the exposition and shifting perspectives at the beginning and how it evened out into mainly Jude's, Willem's, and Harold's perspectives, but I felt we didn't get enough of Malcom. He was intriguing and I wish he got more page- and perspective-time.

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dark emotional sad medium-paced

idk if ive ever had such mixed feelings about a book before in my life

the good:
i did cry. while its not really that hard to make me cry, it does require a certain degree of competence from the author, so i have to give credit where its due here. this book was beautifully written, most of the time, and by the end i truly felt connected to some of the characters and i think thats admirable
fuck JB tho i found him insufferable
i am also still thinking about this book days after finishing it, which i think is somewhat notable as i am most disappointed by books that are forgettable, and this certainly wasn't.

the bad:
its so fucking long. it didnt need to be that long. i knew right away that there was a truly gratuitous amount of detail. for example, i left myself a note asking my future self if the detailed descriptions of JB's studio mates that we get in the beginning chapters would end up being relevant at all (answer: it sure doesnt!) and there's a lot of stuff like that. just pages and pages of shit that doesnt really matter or add much. again, this shit did not need to be that long. this is coming from someone who has read wheel of time and the stormlight archive and other long drawn out books so i think i have the authority to say this.

the ugly:
my primary qualm is that the depiction of self harm did not need to be so frequent and so descriptive. it just didnt. i did not need to read over and over about the techniques, the sensations, the visuals, etc. this is not to say that i think that books shouldn't depict self harm, or cutting, or anything like that. i think its a real life thing that should be present in stories about real life, but jesus christ this was the most triggering thing i think ive ever read. and im doing a bit of research on the author, and just pulled this quote from an interview with her:

"But I don’t believe in it — talk therapy, I should specify — myself. One of the things that makes me most suspicious about the field is its insistence that life is always the answer. Every other medical specialty devoted to the care of the seriously ill recognizes that at some point, the doctor’s job is to help the patient die; that there are points at which death is preferable to life."

and that just pissed me off so bad. to think that way is one thing, i understand how a person can think that. but to decry therapy and recovery so publicly, when you're writing a book like this, just feels so ... gross. 

i was also distracted by how many pedophiles jude came into contact with. maybe im naive, or sheltered, or privileged, but i find it really hard to believe that a 13 year old could make his way across the country just by providing sexual favors to truck drivers? am i just deluded or is pedophilia not that endemic?

similarly, i found the whole caleb incident to be so transparently just for the sake of making jude suffer that it was distracting. we get a brief potential explanation for caleb’s behavior, that he hates seeing weakness because he watched his parents weaken after they got sick, but like …. this doesnt feel like a concrete reason for why he acted that way? this successful public figure would risk a murder charge just for that? obviously i understand abusers are gonna abuse but i kind of find the novel's reasoning for it hard to believe and so it just seems like a shallow attempt at characterization


i think most of qualms with this novel can be summed up with the word gratuitous. it was so, so gratuitous in every way

Expand filter menu Content Warnings
emotional sad slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven: Character
Strong character development: Complicated
Loveable characters: Complicated
Diverse cast of characters: Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

Expand filter menu Content Warnings
challenging dark emotional reflective sad tense slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven: Character
Strong character development: Complicated
Loveable characters: Complicated
Diverse cast of characters: Complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

Expand filter menu Content Warnings
challenging dark emotional reflective sad slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven: Character
Strong character development: Yes
Loveable characters: Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

Expand filter menu Content Warnings
dark emotional sad medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven: Character
Strong character development: Complicated
Loveable characters: Yes
Diverse cast of characters: Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus: Complicated

Expand filter menu Content Warnings
dark emotional sad
Plot or Character Driven: Character
Strong character development: Yes
Loveable characters: Yes
Diverse cast of characters: Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

Bleak. Heavy. Hard to forget. This book will stick with me for a long time. 

Expand filter menu Content Warnings
emotional reflective sad medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven: Character
Strong character development: Yes
Loveable characters: Yes
Diverse cast of characters: Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

Expand filter menu Content Warnings