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Graphic: Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Alcoholism, Body shaming, Bullying, Child abuse, Chronic illness, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Drug use, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Slavery, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Terminal illness, Torture, Toxic relationship, Violence, Forced institutionalization, Blood, Vomit, Medical content, Dementia, Trafficking, Kidnapping, Grief, Religious bigotry, Medical trauma, Car accident, Abortion, Suicide attempt, Death of parent, Schizophrenia/Psychosis , Gaslighting, Abandonment, Alcohol, Sexual harassment
Moderate: Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Alcoholism, Body shaming, Bullying, Child abuse, Chronic illness, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Drug use, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Slavery, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Terminal illness, Toxic relationship, Violence, Forced institutionalization, Blood, Vomit, Medical content, Dementia, Kidnapping, Grief, Religious bigotry, Medical trauma, Car accident, Suicide attempt, Gaslighting, Abandonment, Sexual harassment
Especially Willem Andy and Harold, while they all have really great moments, also have reflections of hopelessness and a sort of twisted expectation for who Jude is that I think sends the wrong message. It’s like they expect him to be condemned to a life of suffering and to see him die young. I enjoy their perspectives, but they are almost uncharacteristically pessimistic at times at what I think is a detriment to the book as a whole.
It is a comforting novel if I ignore the leeching of hopelessness that seeps from the people who are supposedly mentally healthy and un-traumatized, who are said time and time again that they love Jude. It is clear that they do, but they never expect Jude to get better. They seem almost afraid to hope for it. Even in those Happy Years, Willem speaks to having to accept Jude as he is. Don’t get me wrong, I agree with aspects of this, and I by no means think he should try to fix Jude himself, but the way it is written has an air of inevitability and hopelessness that I think negatively affects the story and its readers.
I loved this book when it wrote out the often illogical thought processes that stem from trauma and mental illness, when it discussed coping and friendship and struggles. I think it could be a beautiful book for people who are suffering to feel seen, if only it didn’t discourage getting help and portray the people who are supposed to care despite everything as also believing that Jude’s suicide and suffering is inevitable. I think Jude being hopeless makes sense. I think everyone else’s retreat into inaction except in dire circumstances is cowardly and poorly thought out. Over and over they are said to care, said to love Jude and shown that they are smart, capable, reportedly empathetic and kind people. I don’t think Jude dying by suicide is the issue. Sometimes that is how a life ends and it doesn’t matter how much love and support you have. And it can be hard to care for someone who so desperately wants to show you why you should do the opposite. But the way the people who love Jude are written as reflecting on who he is/was, how they don’t even hope that he will one day be better, not fixed but better, that I think is the books biggest issue. It changes it from being a comfort for the damned to being enabling and harmful to its readers.
Graphic: Ableism, Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, Chronic illness, Confinement, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Eating disorder, Mental illness, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Forced institutionalization, Vomit, Medical content, Trafficking, Kidnapping, Grief, Car accident, Suicide attempt, Fire/Fire injury, Injury/Injury detail
Moderate: Body shaming, Child death, Drug use, Emotional abuse, Infidelity, Toxic relationship, Blood, Schizophrenia/Psychosis , Toxic friendship, Abandonment
Minor: Cancer, Dementia, Abortion, Death of parent, Pregnancy, Alcohol
Graphic: Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Panic attacks/disorders, Physical abuse, Self harm, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Abortion, Suicide attempt
Graphic: Ableism, Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Alcoholism, Body shaming, Bullying, Child abuse, Chronic illness, Cursing, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Homophobia, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Violence, Vomit, Medical content, Grief, Medical trauma, Car accident, Abortion, Death of parent, Gaslighting, Abandonment, Alcohol, Sexual harassment, Classism
heavy and delicate
sad and beautiful
I listened to the audiobook on 1x speed for the most part. It was beautifully written and very very long.
Do yourself a favour and pick the abridged version (I read unabridged) and take the content warnings seriossly!!!
Graphic: Ableism, Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Body shaming, Child abuse, Child death, Chronic illness, Confinement, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Terminal illness, Torture, Toxic relationship, Violence, Forced institutionalization, Blood, Vomit, Medical content, Kidnapping, Grief, Medical trauma, Car accident, Suicide attempt, Fire/Fire injury, Gaslighting, Toxic friendship, Abandonment, Alcohol, Injury/Injury detail
Moderate: Drug use, Stalking, Death of parent, Pregnancy, Outing
Minor: Cancer, Homophobia, Infidelity, Dementia, Abortion
Graphic: Ableism, Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Body shaming, Bullying, Child abuse, Chronic illness, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Homophobia, Mental illness, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Trafficking, Kidnapping, Medical trauma, Car accident, Abortion, Suicide attempt, Gaslighting, Abandonment, Sexual harassment
The story took me on a rollercoaster of emotions and I wanted to dislike this book, a lot. Especially after it made ugly cry for hours. But I can’t. It is just so beautifully written.
5 ⭐️ but be prepared to be sad and heartbroken.
Graphic: Child abuse, Pedophilia, Self harm, Sexual violence, Violence
Moderate: Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Rape, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Violence, Suicide attempt
Minor: Vomit, Car accident, Abortion
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Body horror, Child abuse, Chronic illness, Cursing, Death, Domestic abuse, Gore, Mental illness, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Violence, Blood, Grief, Suicide attempt, Sexual harassment, Injury/Injury detail
Moderate: Child death, Drug use, Emotional abuse, Panic attacks/disorders, Racism, Medical content, Car accident, Gaslighting
Minor: Ableism, Vomit, Abortion
Graphic: Ableism, Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Alcoholism, Biphobia, Body horror, Body shaming, Bullying, Child abuse, Child death, Chronic illness, Deadnaming, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Drug use, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Gore, Hate crime, Homophobia, Mental illness, Pedophilia, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Suicidal thoughts, Toxic relationship, Blood, Grief, Abortion, Acephobia/Arophobia, Gaslighting, Abandonment, Alcohol
Don’t get me wrong (i’m not heartless), sometimes it was tender and sweet. It was just a lot to handle and it seemed like a very unrealistic, deranged situation. (I know it’s fiction, and I know it’s purpose is not to reflect real life. But the trauma upon trauma upon trauma, made me detached from the story, and it felt at times I was reading a telenovela.)
Amazing writing and pacing. A real page turner even though sometimes you were so heartbroken that the last you’d wanna do is find out what happens next. Fully fledged characters and a slow steady pace. Yanagihara is a very talented writer. I read it in 3 days.
I didn’t like it. I didn’t cry (not that that matters). Not for the faint hearted though. Made me reflect. Sometimes I think it’s decent, sometimes I thinks it’s torture porn (this is up for the readers interpretation). Idk if I’ll read more from her.
PS By unrealistic i mean this:
Idk how to feel abt Jude’s entourage, I think they should’ve pushed harder into therapy and hospitals and help in general. This is my bone to pick w the author. But hell, what do I know?
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Body shaming, Child abuse, Chronic illness, Cursing, Death, Domestic abuse, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Torture, Toxic relationship, Violence, Forced institutionalization, Blood, Grief, Medical trauma, Death of parent, Fire/Fire injury, Abandonment, Injury/Injury detail
Minor: Abortion