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While the book started off really strong, I got maybe a third of the way through before realizing it was going to be a long, depressing read. I kept hoping maybe something would happen that would make this book turn around, but I was, unfortunately, let down. I was honestly shocked, and uncomfortable, at how graphic the details got and how horribly Jude was treated the entire story. And JUST when you thought things would finally get better, they DON’T.
Aside from the fact this book could have been a few hundred pages shorter, I just feel like the author really hyper fixated on all of the gory details of Jude’s mistreatment and kept expounding on it far more than necessary. The writing of this book was exquisite, for the most part, but I fear heavy is all I can use to describe it.
I really wanted to love this book and have it be one I re-read in the future, but I don’t think I can. I was dreading having to finish this book, it kept going and going and got darker and darker and just got unpleasant. For a brief period, things were good and I was happy with it, but, overall, this is not one I’d recommend to someone. I think more people should have been sharing how dark this book is in their reviews on TikTok/youtube when suggesting it.
I don’t think every part of this book was bad, the writing sucked me in and I had to keep reading it. But, I don’t think this is one for the faint of heart. Frankly, you need to make sure you’ll be in a VERY good headspace before reading.
Graphic: Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Suicide attempt, Fire/Fire injury
It is also genuinely triggering, in the literal sense. It certainly was for me, so if you do take on this artistic piece of writing know that you’re in for quite the journey and you’ll want to keep tissues on hand.
Graphic: Ableism, Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Body horror, Body shaming, Bullying, Child abuse, Child death, Chronic illness, Confinement, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Drug use, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Gore, Infidelity, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Terminal illness, Torture, Violence, Forced institutionalization, Blood, Vomit, Medical content, Trafficking, Kidnapping, Grief, Medical trauma, Car accident, Suicide attempt, Death of parent, Fire/Fire injury, Toxic friendship, Abandonment, Sexual harassment, Dysphoria, Injury/Injury detail
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, Panic attacks/disorders, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Violence, Grief, Suicide attempt
Moderate: Addiction, Confinement, Death, Drug abuse, Eating disorder, Toxic relationship, Car accident
Minor: Cancer, Child death, Forced institutionalization, Vomit, Fire/Fire injury, Injury/Injury detail
Graphic: Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Chronic illness, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Eating disorder, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Torture, Toxic relationship, Violence, Forced institutionalization, Vomit, Medical content, Trafficking, Kidnapping, Grief, Medical trauma, Car accident, Suicide attempt, Fire/Fire injury, Abandonment, Injury/Injury detail
Graphic: Ableism, Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, Chronic illness, Death, Drug use, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Gore, Mental illness, Pedophilia, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Terminal illness, Toxic relationship, Violence, Blood, Kidnapping, Grief, Car accident, Suicide attempt, Fire/Fire injury, Gaslighting, Abandonment, Sexual harassment
Graphic: Ableism, Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, Chronic illness, Confinement, Death, Domestic abuse, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Panic attacks/disorders, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Terminal illness, Toxic relationship, Violence, Blood, Vomit, Trafficking, Kidnapping, Grief, Suicide attempt, Fire/Fire injury, Abandonment
Moderate: Addiction, Biphobia, Body shaming, Drug abuse, Drug use, Forced institutionalization, Car accident, Gaslighting, Alcohol
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Eating disorder, Homophobia, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Self harm, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Violence, Blood, Suicide attempt, Fire/Fire injury, Injury/Injury detail
Graphic: Ableism, Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Bullying, Child abuse, Chronic illness, Hate crime, Homophobia, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Torture, Toxic relationship, Violence, Blood, Trafficking, Kidnapping, Grief, Medical trauma, Suicide attempt, Gaslighting, Abandonment, Injury/Injury detail
Moderate: Confinement, Medical content, Car accident, Fire/Fire injury
Minor: Drug use, Infidelity, Racism, Vomit
- I adored Willem and loved the evolution of his character and how close we got to him.
CRYINNNNNNG, SCREAMING - Malcolm, I didn’t have any big feelings for, except that I appreciated how much he took Jude’s physical body into consideration. He was a good friend.
- JB on the other hand was someone I really couldn’t like. He is extremely pretentious and quite unlikeable. He minimized his friends feelings, traumas and selfishly judged them all, putting himself on this pedestal.
Once he made fun of Jude, I GASPED. I dropped my book. I could not believe it, I was like this is JUDE, this is OFF LIMITS. Right there, I was done with JB. And yes, I know he was battling addiction, but I truly feel that really was how he felt about Jude. AND WHEN HE KISSED HIM? Ohhhh I was so angry. - Harold. Oh Harold. I was nervous in the beginning because I didn't know which direction his character would take,
matching Jude's fears, but he turned out to be so wonderful, so loving and caring. It was interesting we didn't get as close to Julia. - Andy. A complete angel. I'm so glad Jude had him to depend upon.
When I finally finished this book, I could not stop crying. I could not get it off my mind. I was emotionally drained for the rest of the day. And the crazy thing is, I would read this again. Especially knowing how it ends, I would love to one day go through this and pick up on stuff maybe I missed.
I’ll think about Jude forever.
_
MAJOR SPOILER, DO NOT CLICK UNLESS YOU'VE READ.
Graphic: Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Body horror, Body shaming, Bullying, Child abuse, Chronic illness, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Drug use, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Gore, Mental illness, Misogyny, Panic attacks/disorders, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Torture, Toxic relationship, Violence, Forced institutionalization, Blood, Vomit, Medical content, Trafficking, Kidnapping, Grief, Religious bigotry, Medical trauma, Stalking, Car accident, Suicide attempt, Schizophrenia/Psychosis , Fire/Fire injury, Gaslighting, Toxic friendship, Abandonment, Sexual harassment, Dysphoria, Injury/Injury detail, Classism
Graphic: Ableism, Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Body horror, Body shaming, Bullying, Cancer, Child abuse, Child death, Chronic illness, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Drug use, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Gore, Hate crime, Homophobia, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Terminal illness, Torture, Toxic relationship, Violence, Blood, Excrement, Vomit, Medical content, Dementia, Grief, Medical trauma, Car accident, Suicide attempt, Schizophrenia/Psychosis , Fire/Fire injury, Gaslighting, Toxic friendship, Abandonment, Sexual harassment, Dysphoria