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Reviews tagging 'Abandonment'

Ein wenig Leben by Hanya Yanagihara

1205 reviews

challenging dark mysterious sad tense slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven: Character
Strong character development: Complicated
Loveable characters: Complicated
Diverse cast of characters: Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

I only started reading this because I wanted to see if it makes me cry. Spoiler alert!
It didn't
.  Don't get me wrong,
the ending is absolutely sad with how Jude had to get his leg amputated, and despite that he was living his best life with Willem only for Willem to die in an accident. Of course, not standing the lost, Jude decided to euthanize himself, Iassume.
Either way, I absolutely hated reading this book. I know, you might be wondering "tHeN wHy tHe hAEWLl diD yOu reAD iT?". Well...I spent a fuckton of my saved up allowance to buy this book so OBVIOUSLY I have to finish reading this 😁💢💢

Anyways, what I originally came here to say is that;
1. I think the author hates men so much that she didn't know any legal way to torture them, so she decided to write this book
2. All the characters suck and I hate every and each one of them (yes, some characters including Jude, Willem, Harold, etc...oh JB included too cause how can I forget that fuck?)
3. The ending was kind of sad (only at an atomic level, okay?), so I'll give .25 for that
4. The writing is godawful (I don't wanna be too mean about this cause beauty is in the eye of beholder and this is not my beauty)

Overall, I'm happy to end this journey and excited to move onto the next thing cause I know at least it's gonna be better than whatever this was..

Expand filter menu Content Warnings
challenging dark sad medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven: Character
Strong character development: Complicated
Loveable characters: Yes
Diverse cast of characters: Complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

Rating A Little Life is difficult. It wasn't necessarily an "enjoyable read". But it brought up some interesting thoughts for me. 

A Little Life should not be read as realism. The extremes are not realistic and I don't think they're meant to be. There are many literary styles that set up extremes to further the actual character study. I don't think Jude and his situation were ever meant to represent a real person and their story, but rather to serve as a a philosophical question. 

Jude's life is so horrifically horrible on one hand, but on the other extreme, he has everything going for him. Every reason to heal. Apart from the trauma itself, and further traumatic events, there are no barriers to his healing. Money is not an issue, friendship is not an issue, support is not an issue, medical care is not an issue. He has the finances, resources, and people in his life to make healing possible. 

A Little Life walks the line between my frustration and my empathy. In the same moment that I'm angry with Jude for not accepting help, I also understand it. 

The book, for me, contrasts our views on physical and mental health. Mental health is so sticky and fuzzy and tricky. Jude's physical health mirrors his mental health. His physical health is fragile and in decline. And everyone knows it. Everyone has accepted his physical limitations--in fact, they accept it more than he does. And I'd argue that they accept a lot of the limitations caused by his mental health as well. However, there is an acceptance that he will not get better physically, and a refusal and frustration to accept that he will not get better mentally. Nobody is frustrated with Jude for losing his legs. But they are frustrated with his inability to stop harming himself. 

We understand the concept of a terminal illness. Someone being given 5 years to live is an accepted concept. We know that some physical illnesses-no matter how much money, how much support and how many resources you have-just don't get better and in fact can get much much worse. But rarely do we apply that understanding to mental health. We don't really think of any mental illnesses as terminal. And perhaps there's a danger in accepting that. Perhaps if we were to accept that, fewer people would recover.

It's an especially interesting topic as medically assisted death is being debated as to whether it should include mental health conditions. Is there ever a point at which we can or should just accept that someone will not mentally get better and they will suffer and suffer and that forcing them to continue living is just a cruelty? 

I don't have the answer to that.

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dark emotional funny hopeful inspiring reflective sad tense slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven: Character
Strong character development: Yes
Loveable characters: Yes
Diverse cast of characters: Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus: Complicated

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dark emotional sad tense medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven: Character
Strong character development: Complicated
Loveable characters: Yes
Diverse cast of characters: Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

Beautifully written, profoundly sad. Will take a long time to process after finishing.

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challenging dark emotional hopeful reflective sad slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven: Character
Strong character development: Yes
Loveable characters: Yes
Diverse cast of characters: Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

What a beautiful book. I would argue this goes beyond any other story I've ever read before; this is a piece of art I just happened to get the privilege to read. It conveys the beauty found within the simple parts of life, such as friendship, paternal love, and finding the passion within your career. Something I really appreciate in books I read is a writer who is descriptive, and doesn't feel shy using some imagery. It's important to me that I am provided a vivid picture of what is going on, and this book gave me that at the turn of every page. I found this book really unique in terms of some of the structures and styles used, but as I pressed on I found I really loved Yanagihara's way of conveying specific scenes, images, and ideas. Highlighting these people's lives when they are no different than any other person in the world brings attention to the fact that you truly have no idea what's happening for others behind closed doors, and I found that while I was reading this book my attention was drawn to the smaller pleasures in my own life, and my appreciation to simply be alive was higher than ever. Other than the feelings this book evokes, you are also given a lovely spread of raw, charismatic characters that you devotedly root for. Characters like Willem and Harold present a love for others almost every person hopes to find, and characters like Jude and JB you wish you could wrap in the most comforting hug, being with them every step of the way as they face the difficult challenges life has to offer. This is a book I will be thinking about forever, a book that will get recommended before any other, and a book that provides such a tender message to whoever gets the pleasure of picking it up. 

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challenging dark emotional mysterious reflective sad tense slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven: Character
Strong character development: Yes
Loveable characters: Yes
Diverse cast of characters: Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

I loved reading this book-- I cried reading it and the characters now live in my brain having finished it. I think of them daily. It really impacted me to see trauma discussed so frankly and accurately, especially when society loves to hide traumatized people like us away. Despite it being slow-paced and 800 pages, I sped through it in a couple days.
The one thing I wish would be that we had more of Malcom's perspective. I really liked the exposition and shifting perspectives at the beginning and how it evened out into mainly Jude's, Willem's, and Harold's perspectives, but I felt we didn't get enough of Malcom. He was intriguing and I wish he got more page- and perspective-time.

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dark emotional sad medium-paced

idk if ive ever had such mixed feelings about a book before in my life

the good:
i did cry. while its not really that hard to make me cry, it does require a certain degree of competence from the author, so i have to give credit where its due here. this book was beautifully written, most of the time, and by the end i truly felt connected to some of the characters and i think thats admirable
fuck JB tho i found him insufferable
i am also still thinking about this book days after finishing it, which i think is somewhat notable as i am most disappointed by books that are forgettable, and this certainly wasn't.

the bad:
its so fucking long. it didnt need to be that long. i knew right away that there was a truly gratuitous amount of detail. for example, i left myself a note asking my future self if the detailed descriptions of JB's studio mates that we get in the beginning chapters would end up being relevant at all (answer: it sure doesnt!) and there's a lot of stuff like that. just pages and pages of shit that doesnt really matter or add much. again, this shit did not need to be that long. this is coming from someone who has read wheel of time and the stormlight archive and other long drawn out books so i think i have the authority to say this.

the ugly:
my primary qualm is that the depiction of self harm did not need to be so frequent and so descriptive. it just didnt. i did not need to read over and over about the techniques, the sensations, the visuals, etc. this is not to say that i think that books shouldn't depict self harm, or cutting, or anything like that. i think its a real life thing that should be present in stories about real life, but jesus christ this was the most triggering thing i think ive ever read. and im doing a bit of research on the author, and just pulled this quote from an interview with her:

"But I don’t believe in it — talk therapy, I should specify — myself. One of the things that makes me most suspicious about the field is its insistence that life is always the answer. Every other medical specialty devoted to the care of the seriously ill recognizes that at some point, the doctor’s job is to help the patient die; that there are points at which death is preferable to life."

and that just pissed me off so bad. to think that way is one thing, i understand how a person can think that. but to decry therapy and recovery so publicly, when you're writing a book like this, just feels so ... gross. 

i was also distracted by how many pedophiles jude came into contact with. maybe im naive, or sheltered, or privileged, but i find it really hard to believe that a 13 year old could make his way across the country just by providing sexual favors to truck drivers? am i just deluded or is pedophilia not that endemic?

similarly, i found the whole caleb incident to be so transparently just for the sake of making jude suffer that it was distracting. we get a brief potential explanation for caleb’s behavior, that he hates seeing weakness because he watched his parents weaken after they got sick, but like …. this doesnt feel like a concrete reason for why he acted that way? this successful public figure would risk a murder charge just for that? obviously i understand abusers are gonna abuse but i kind of find the novel's reasoning for it hard to believe and so it just seems like a shallow attempt at characterization


i think most of qualms with this novel can be summed up with the word gratuitous. it was so, so gratuitous in every way

Expand filter menu Content Warnings
challenging dark emotional reflective sad tense slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven: Character
Strong character development: Complicated
Loveable characters: Complicated
Diverse cast of characters: Complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

Expand filter menu Content Warnings
dark emotional reflective sad slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven: Character
Strong character development: Yes
Loveable characters: Complicated
Diverse cast of characters: Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

Expand filter menu Content Warnings
challenging dark emotional sad medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven: Character
Strong character development: No
Loveable characters: Yes
Diverse cast of characters: Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

In the middle:
This book needs trigger warnings. A lot of them. 
I think one of the greatest strengths of this book is that you can see a little bit of yourself in each of the characters. This book is an exploration of humanity and the author fully immerses you in the mind of each of its characters I really like this book, but I don’t recommend it. 

After finishing:
This book is meant to be a hymn to brotherly love? If only at the extremes. This book is truly beautifully written, and in such a way that it’s hard to put down. However, the trauma that these characters go through served only to give the author a sadistic thrill. How human relationships can transcend romance and sex and friendship can be conveyed without torturing, not only the characters, but the reader. To say that this book needs trigger warnings is honestly an understatement. Not only are the characters put through the worst humanity has to offer, But the reader is tortured right alongside them. The author’s biggest, and most noteworthy, skill is placing the reader directly inside of the characters mind. And with that comes a terrible cost as characters are tortured, abused, and taught to hate themselves. I can’t in good faith recommend this book to anyone.

2 stars for excellent writing -3 stars for sadism

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