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Anyways, what I originally came here to say is that;
1. I think the author hates men so much that she didn't know any legal way to torture them, so she decided to write this book
2. All the characters suck and I hate every and each one of them (yes, some characters including Jude, Willem, Harold, etc...oh JB included too cause how can I forget that fuck?)
3. The ending was kind of sad (only at an atomic level, okay?), so I'll give .25 for that
4. The writing is godawful (I don't wanna be too mean about this cause beauty is in the eye of beholder and this is not my beauty)
Overall, I'm happy to end this journey and excited to move onto the next thing cause I know at least it's gonna be better than whatever this was..
Graphic: Ableism, Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Body horror, Body shaming, Bullying, Child death, Chronic illness, Confinement, Cursing, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Drug use, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Fatphobia, Gore, Hate crime, Homophobia, Infidelity, Mental illness, Blood, Medical content, Dementia, Kidnapping, Grief, Medical trauma, Car accident, Gaslighting, Abandonment, Dysphoria, Injury/Injury detail
A Little Life should not be read as realism. The extremes are not realistic and I don't think they're meant to be. There are many literary styles that set up extremes to further the actual character study. I don't think Jude and his situation were ever meant to represent a real person and their story, but rather to serve as a a philosophical question.
A Little Life walks the line between my frustration and my empathy. In the same moment that I'm angry with Jude for not accepting help, I also understand it.
The book, for me, contrasts our views on physical and mental health. Mental health is so sticky and fuzzy and tricky. Jude's physical health mirrors his mental health. His physical health is fragile and in decline. And everyone knows it. Everyone has accepted his physical limitations--in fact, they accept it more than he does. And I'd argue that they accept a lot of the limitations caused by his mental health as well. However, there is an acceptance that he will not get better physically, and a refusal and frustration to accept that he will not get better mentally. Nobody is frustrated with Jude for losing his legs. But they are frustrated with his inability to stop harming himself.
We understand the concept of a terminal illness. Someone being given 5 years to live is an accepted concept. We know that some physical illnesses-no matter how much money, how much support and how many resources you have-just don't get better and in fact can get much much worse. But rarely do we apply that understanding to mental health. We don't really think of any mental illnesses as terminal. And perhaps there's a danger in accepting that. Perhaps if we were to accept that, fewer people would recover.
It's an especially interesting topic as medically assisted death is being debated as to whether it should include mental health conditions. Is there ever a point at which we can or should just accept that someone will not mentally get better and they will suffer and suffer and that forcing them to continue living is just a cruelty?
I don't have the answer to that.
Graphic: Addiction, Body horror, Child abuse, Child death, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Drug use, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Torture, Toxic relationship, Violence, Blood, Trafficking, Kidnapping, Grief, Religious bigotry, Suicide attempt
Moderate: Cursing, Death of parent, Outing, Abandonment
Graphic: Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Alcoholism, Body shaming, Bullying, Child abuse, Chronic illness, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Drug use, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Slavery, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Terminal illness, Torture, Toxic relationship, Violence, Forced institutionalization, Blood, Vomit, Medical content, Dementia, Trafficking, Kidnapping, Grief, Religious bigotry, Medical trauma, Car accident, Abortion, Suicide attempt, Death of parent, Schizophrenia/Psychosis , Gaslighting, Abandonment, Alcohol, Sexual harassment
Moderate: Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Alcoholism, Body shaming, Bullying, Child abuse, Chronic illness, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Drug use, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Slavery, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Terminal illness, Toxic relationship, Violence, Forced institutionalization, Blood, Vomit, Medical content, Dementia, Kidnapping, Grief, Religious bigotry, Medical trauma, Car accident, Suicide attempt, Gaslighting, Abandonment, Sexual harassment
Graphic: Body shaming, Child abuse, Child death, Chronic illness, Domestic abuse, Pedophilia, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Blood, Grief, Car accident, Suicide attempt, Abandonment, Injury/Injury detail
Graphic: Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Drug use, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide attempt, Abandonment
Graphic: Ableism, Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, Child death, Chronic illness, Mental illness, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Abandonment
Moderate: Car accident
the good:
i did cry. while its not really that hard to make me cry, it does require a certain degree of competence from the author, so i have to give credit where its due here. this book was beautifully written, most of the time, and by the end i truly felt connected to some of the characters and i think thats admirable
the bad:
its so fucking long. it didnt need to be that long. i knew right away that there was a truly gratuitous amount of detail. for example, i left myself a note asking my future self if the detailed descriptions of JB's studio mates that we get in the beginning chapters would end up being relevant at all (answer: it sure doesnt!) and there's a lot of stuff like that. just pages and pages of shit that doesnt really matter or add much. again, this shit did not need to be that long. this is coming from someone who has read wheel of time and the stormlight archive and other long drawn out books so i think i have the authority to say this.
the ugly:
my primary qualm is that the depiction of self harm did not need to be so frequent and so descriptive. it just didnt. i did not need to read over and over about the techniques, the sensations, the visuals, etc. this is not to say that i think that books shouldn't depict self harm, or cutting, or anything like that. i think its a real life thing that should be present in stories about real life, but jesus christ this was the most triggering thing i think ive ever read. and im doing a bit of research on the author, and just pulled this quote from an interview with her:
"But I don’t believe in it — talk therapy, I should specify — myself. One of the things that makes me most suspicious about the field is its insistence that life is always the answer. Every other medical specialty devoted to the care of the seriously ill recognizes that at some point, the doctor’s job is to help the patient die; that there are points at which death is preferable to life."
and that just pissed me off so bad. to think that way is one thing, i understand how a person can think that. but to decry therapy and recovery so publicly, when you're writing a book like this, just feels so ... gross.
similarly, i found the whole caleb incident to be so transparently just for the sake of making jude suffer that it was distracting. we get a brief potential explanation for caleb’s behavior, that he hates seeing weakness because he watched his parents weaken after they got sick, but like …. this doesnt feel like a concrete reason for why he acted that way? this successful public figure would risk a murder charge just for that? obviously i understand abusers are gonna abuse but i kind of find the novel's reasoning for it hard to believe and so it just seems like a shallow attempt at characterization
i think most of qualms with this novel can be summed up with the word gratuitous. it was so, so gratuitous in every way
Graphic: Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, Chronic illness, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug use, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Violence, Blood, Grief, Medical trauma, Suicide attempt, Fire/Fire injury, Abandonment
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Body shaming, Bullying, Child abuse, Chronic illness, Death, Domestic abuse, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Violence, Forced institutionalization, Vomit, Grief, Car accident, Suicide attempt, Fire/Fire injury, Gaslighting, Toxic friendship, Abandonment, Sexual harassment
Graphic: Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Alcoholism, Body shaming, Bullying, Child abuse, Chronic illness, Cursing, Death, Drug use, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Panic attacks/disorders, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Terminal illness, Toxic relationship, Violence, Blood, Grief, Car accident, Suicide attempt, Gaslighting, Abandonment, Alcohol, Sexual harassment
This book needs trigger warnings. A lot of them.
2 stars for excellent writing -3 stars for sadism
Graphic: Ableism, Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Body horror, Body shaming, Child abuse, Chronic illness, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Drug use, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Gore, Mental illness, Pedophilia, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Forced institutionalization, Blood, Car accident, Suicide attempt, Abandonment, Dysphoria, Injury/Injury detail