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kcullinan's review
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Bullying, Rape, Sexual assault, Suicide, Toxic relationship, and Sexual violence
greatexpectations77's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Graphic: Rape, Sexual assault, Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, Mental illness, Abandonment, Pedophilia, Toxic relationship, and Death
Moderate: Drug use, Alcohol, Bullying, Emotional abuse, Grief, Sexual content, Alcoholism, and Gaslighting
Minor: Vomit, Death of parent, Animal death, Infidelity, and Body shaming
someplace_i_go's review against another edition
5.0
Graphic: Toxic relationship, Emotional abuse, Pedophilia, Rape, Suicide, Gaslighting, Suicidal thoughts, Adult/minor relationship, Alcohol, Bullying, Child abuse, Drug use, Sexual assault, and Sexual content
_bailey_reads_'s review
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
There are so many things I could say about this book. I loved it so much. It will always hold a special place in my heart, mostly because it hurt me deeply to my core.
I highly recommend reading this book but only if you are in a good mental health space. It is extremely triggering! I felt very healed by how relatable I found Vanessa at points but mad because of how upset her character made me. She is such a complex and well written character and is such a realistic depiction of someone struggling with PTSD and severe trauma.
Kate Elizabeth Russell, did a phenomenal job at depicting what a real therapist & client relationship actually looks and sounds like. The first accurate one I’ve ever read in a book. It blew me away. Ruby is Vanessa’s therapist. The dynamic between the two characters was brilliant and very thought out and realistic! The language and descriptions in this novel are so beautiful and made me my heart hurt.
It’s the most disturbing book I’ve ever read
Warning ** Do Not Read if you are in a bad mental health space. Please be gentle if you have gone through any type of abuse. I wish someone would’ve warned me before reading. It’s HIGHLY triggering.
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Emotional abuse, Gaslighting, Mental illness, Pedophilia, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicide, and Toxic relationship
Moderate: Alcohol, Animal death, Bullying, Cursing, Death, Drug use, Drug abuse, Grief, Infidelity, Medical content, Panic attacks/disorders, Self harm, Stalking, Suicidal thoughts, Toxic friendship, and Vomit
borireads's review
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
5.0
Graphic: Gaslighting, Rape, Mental illness, Child abuse, Suicide, Sexual assault, and Sexual harassment
Moderate: Bullying
Minor: Death of parent
smbrady15's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.5
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Bullying, Child abuse, Toxic relationship, Cursing, Sexual content, Gaslighting, Rape, and Pedophilia
hanhantap's review
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
My Dark V'anessa is an unraveling of long-hidden truths contrasted against the background of the #MeToo movement (which was brilliant of the author). It follows Vanessa slowly coming to terms with the fact that she was groomed and abused by her English teacher, Jacob Strane. Think of Lolita growing up and realizing that what happened was not love but an abuse of power. Strane gaslights Vanessa from the time that she is 15 to when she is in her thirties, trying to convince her that what he did to her was not by his choice, but by hers, that she had the power, that she could have stopped it whenever she wanted to.
The line that sticks out to me the most is during one of Vanessa's therapy sessions when she tells her therapist: "I just really need it to be a love story. You know? I really, really need it to be that{...} It’s my life. This has been my whole life.”
It was at this point when I had to put the book down and take an internal look at myself. While I have never been in Vanessa's shoes, I am a former Ezria shipper. "Ezria" meaning the relationship between Ezra Fitz and Aria Montgomery in Pretty Little Liars. Warning: I am about to spoil one of the major plot points of the show.
Like Strane, Ezra is Aria's English teacher, although he is fresh out of college and does not meet Aria in the classroom. Aria, a 16-year-old student, is a lot like Vanessa: stubborn, precocious, and 'mature for her age.' Ezra and Aria's relationship was painted as a forbidden romance. In the books, the pair is caught, Ezra is arrested, and then he leaves the town of Rosewood. Meanwhile, the show keeps Ezra around and has the couple be married by the end of the show, despite the fact that it was revealed in season 4 of the show that Ezra knew who Aria was when they met (including her age), knowingly deceived her, and had previously been in a relationship with her friend Alison when Ali was 14/15.
As a diehard supporter of the 'ship for four years at the point of this revelation, I was heartbroken, furious, and started to unravel the romanticization versus the reality of what this relationship was. It messed me up for years, causing me to lose friendships, my online community which I had helped cultivate and grow. I felt disgusted about what this 'ship had become and what I supported and defended for years. I needed it to be a love story, because if it wasn't, then what had I spent four years of my life making content about?
While I realize that it is not the same thing as young people who are literally abused and manipulated by adults in their lives, I was, in a way, groomed to believe that a relationship that Ezra and Aria's was healthy and romantic, full of passion and the star-crossed lovers trope. I was 14 when the show premiered in 2010. This put me in danger of falling for someone in a similar way to Vanessa and Aria because I had this idea in my head that I was not like the other girls, I was mature for my age, I would be able to take care of myself. When in reality, I was a child, vulnerable to the perverted desires of certain adults. It terrifies me to think about the what-ifs.
It is no coincidence to me that some of my friends from the fandom ended up in abusive and coercive relationships. It is common to see online that young people (especially teenage girls) are groomed and abused by (mostly) adult men in their late twenties, if not in their thirties or forties. Even in my own life, I watched as a teacher in my high school resigned due to an inappropriate relationship with a student. While I never trusted this man and always got a bad vibe from him, it was the worst way to learn that I had been right.
At the same time, a leader at my church was outed as a predator and forced to leave, while we were told it was due to attendance in the youth program. This was someone I looked up to and trusted, who helped me during some of the most difficult times in my life, someone who I went on cross-country mission trips with. I left the church partly because of their ousting from the congregation, putting them on a pedestal. I still have them in my network on LinkedIn, because there is part of me that wants to believe the lie that they left due to bad performance, rather than the facts at hand.
Reading My Dark Vanessa took me back to that space of wanting to believe that a relationship (while fictional) was a love story, that someone in my life was not what I thought them to be. Like Vanessa, it took me growing up and looking back at this period in my life without rose-colored glasses and realizing the ugly truth. This novel was a beautiful and painful mess that will stay with me for a long time.
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Pedophilia, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, Sexual content, and Sexual harassment
Moderate: Grief, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Alcoholism, Death, and Suicide attempt
Minor: Bullying and Death of parent
amsswim's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
As a someone who has experienced different kinds of abuse and trauma, I very much related with many themes. I would recommend looking through warnings and triggers contained here if you'd like to read, some themes may be upsetting for other survivors of similar experiences. I recommend to all however.
Graphic: Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Alcohol, Violence, Suicidal thoughts, Stalking, Sexual violence, Sexual harassment, Rape, Injury/Injury detail, Gaslighting, Toxic friendship, Suicide, Abandonment, Sexual content, Sexism, Panic attacks/disorders, Misogyny, Mental illness, Grief, Domestic abuse, Death, Sexual assault, Alcoholism, Bullying, Child abuse, Toxic relationship, Pedophilia, and Emotional abuse
Moderate: Injury/Injury detail, Cursing, Classism, Body shaming, Death, Death of parent, Drug use, Grief, Bullying, and Infidelity
Minor: Classism, Blood, Body shaming, Vomit, Death of parent, Drug abuse, and Drug use
coffeekitaab's review
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
5.0
Graphic: Gaslighting, Adult/minor relationship, Alcohol, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, Sexual content, Bullying, Child abuse, Drug abuse, Drug use, Misogyny, Rape, Pedophilia, and Sexual assault
Minor: Death of parent, Animal cruelty, Grief, and Injury/Injury detail
korolevakotykiv's review
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.75
Graphic: Toxic relationship, Rape, Pedophilia, Grief, Adult/minor relationship, and Sexual content
Minor: Addiction, Animal cruelty, Bullying, Alcohol, Classism, Death of parent, and Drug use