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Reviews tagging 'Emotional abuse'
Hani and Ishu's Guide to Fake Dating by Adiba Jaigirdar
33 reviews
cats33's review against another edition
emotional
funny
lighthearted
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Toxic friendship, Bullying, Religious bigotry, Gaslighting, Islamophobia, Lesbophobia, Biphobia, Emotional abuse, and Homophobia
Moderate: Cursing, Racism, and Outing
Minor: Classism and Colonisation
lunep's review against another edition
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.5
I want to make it clear that I don't think this is a bad book (bc I know I spend most of the review focused on what I didn't like, but it's not my intention to disuade anyone of reading this book).
Some of the positive things I got from the book: I liked the characters, I thought Hani and Ishu's relationship was cute, and I liked how they grew as characters. I also liked Hani's relationship with her mom, it was really nice to see how accepting and understanding she was with Hani, and I liked that it was mentioned that they did have to readjust their expectations a little when Hani came out, but it was a Them Problem, not a Hani-Being-Bisexual Problem, it made me feel really warm to read all their interactions. And I also liked the relationship that Ishu and her sister developed, I'm a big enjoyer of sibling and sibling-like relationships where the siblings know they can count on each other even if they sometimes argue or disagree. I also really liked learning more about bangladeshi culture and Islam through the book.
However, the book itself had some things (I don't wanna call them problems bc they might be subjective) that made me not love it. I went into the book thinking it was a stand-alone, then when I had finished it I saw on here it was part of a series, so I thought "oh ok, maybe some of my grievances come from the fact that I had some expectations that shouldn't have been there, and will be addressed in coming book(s)" but I looked it up and there's no sequel, just a novella, so I'm back to my grievances.
The book deals with some heavy topics (it even has a Content Warnings page, which I liked) mostly racism, biphobia and lesbophobia, islamophobia, toxic friendships, and parental abandonement. But I'm not sure if it's because I've read about these topics before (I'm not trying to say I'm an expert on them, but I'm acquainted with them) or what, but I felt it was...kind of on the nose? Or like, too obvious? I'm not sure how to explain it correctly, I'm not trying to say these things don't happen irl, but while reading Hani deal with her friends, for example, Aisling and Dee's actions felt a little weird to me, like over-simplified, in spanish there's this expression "dar masticado" which translates literally to "to be given [something] chewed", which means simplifying a hard topic for easier understanding. To me the friends characters and the principal felt very 2D, with little nuance, kind of like their only purpose was to show "what these characters do is bad", so maybe this was better suited for someone who is just starting to foray into racism and biphobia? (It is a YA book, tbf, and I'm 24)
I also had some trouble with the ending of the book, and this is where the "oh, it makes sense if this is going to have a sequel" thing comes in. Because Hani and Ishu start fake dating so Hani's friends will take her seriously about being bisexual, and so Ishu can become Head Girl and thus prove to her parents that she's not going to "screw up" like her sister, whose shadow Ishu has felt she's been in her entire life, but towards the end something happens between Ishu and her parents, making her relationship with them more strained, and making her closer to her sister, and that plot-line, specially with the parents, doesn't get closed satisfactorily (I LOVED how Ishu and Nik's relationship grew tho); and the explanation we get for how Aisling acts since Hani tells them she's "dating" Ishu felt like BS quite honestly (which isn't to bash the author, because her intent might very well have been for it to sound like BS, because it also doesn't explain the biphobia and racism from before Ishu came into the picture), and Dee never grows as a character. So things seem to have been left open, and if it was intentional to make it open-ending, for me it didn't feel that way when I was reading. If you want the full explanation it's in the spoiler tagFirst, Ishu's side: Ishu's sister Nik is studying medicine in London and her parents are super proud of her, until she comes back and tells them she wants to pause her studies a year to get married. Her parents don't like it because they feel she's throwing everything they did for her to the trash and basically cut her from the family. Ishu comes to find out that Nik just didn't like medicine and had been doing terribly because she hated it and she doesn't want to go back to studying medicine, and even tho she IS getting married, that was just an excuse. At the same time, Aisling, Hani's friend, accuses Ishu of copying off of her on a biology test, and when the school tells her parents, they get mad at her too, and even tho she tells them she didn't cheat (it actually was the other way around, Ishu let Aisling copy thinking Aisling had actually started to accept her as Hani's gf), they don't believe her, and it's Nik who confronts the principal and cleans Ishu's name (to the principal only, bc the principal doesn't want to tell the school the truth bc now it would affect the white student, yay racism /sarcasm), which makes Ishu realize that the idea of what "success" looks like for their parents is very narrow, and it's extremely easy to fall off it, and off their graces too, which makes her realize Nik is not her enemy and makes them closer. So with the scene set, Ishu tells her mom she wants to go to Nik's wedding, and her mom admits that she would like to too, but she's not going to go against her husband's wishes, but lets Ishu go. And that's how that plot-line ends. Ishu and Hani go to the wedding but nothing else happens with the parents. Also, Ishu never comes out to her parents either, even after she and Hani start to date for real.
And on Hani's side: After the cheating fiasco with Aisling, Hani is not sure who to believe, but ends up realizing it doesn't make sense that Ishu would copy off of Aisling, as Ishu always get stellar grades and Aisling doesn't, and confronts Aisling for being manipulative and a liar, and Aisling's only response is "ok I'm sorry I did that, are we friends again?", because apparently the whole reason she was a pos was that "she was jealous of Ishu because Hani has been friends with her and Dee all her life and she was changing", and when Hani tells her she needs time, Aisling throws a fit, Dee tries to defend her (saying "it was a mistake"), and finally Aisling tells Hani "Forgive me, don't forgive me. I'm definitely not apologizing to Ishita Dey" and leaves, and so does Dee. And while I don't expect a picture perfect ending where Aisling realizes she's a shitty friend, and gets over her biphobia and racism, we were shown a couple of times that Dee seemed to not always agree with Aisling, and sometimes go against her wishes in small ways, but like I said before, she doesn't get any development and she stays Aisling's follower until the end.
Some of the positive things I got from the book: I liked the characters, I thought Hani and Ishu's relationship was cute, and I liked how they grew as characters. I also liked Hani's relationship with her mom, it was really nice to see how accepting and understanding she was with Hani, and I liked that it was mentioned that they did have to readjust their expectations a little when Hani came out, but it was a Them Problem, not a Hani-Being-Bisexual Problem, it made me feel really warm to read all their interactions. And I also liked the relationship that Ishu and her sister developed, I'm a big enjoyer of sibling and sibling-like relationships where the siblings know they can count on each other even if they sometimes argue or disagree. I also really liked learning more about bangladeshi culture and Islam through the book.
However, the book itself had some things (I don't wanna call them problems bc they might be subjective) that made me not love it. I went into the book thinking it was a stand-alone, then when I had finished it I saw on here it was part of a series, so I thought "oh ok, maybe some of my grievances come from the fact that I had some expectations that shouldn't have been there, and will be addressed in coming book(s)" but I looked it up and there's no sequel, just a novella, so I'm back to my grievances.
The book deals with some heavy topics (it even has a Content Warnings page, which I liked) mostly racism, biphobia and lesbophobia, islamophobia, toxic friendships, and parental abandonement. But I'm not sure if it's because I've read about these topics before (I'm not trying to say I'm an expert on them, but I'm acquainted with them) or what, but I felt it was...kind of on the nose? Or like, too obvious? I'm not sure how to explain it correctly, I'm not trying to say these things don't happen irl, but while reading Hani deal with her friends, for example, Aisling and Dee's actions felt a little weird to me, like over-simplified, in spanish there's this expression "dar masticado" which translates literally to "to be given [something] chewed", which means simplifying a hard topic for easier understanding. To me the friends characters and the principal felt very 2D, with little nuance, kind of like their only purpose was to show "what these characters do is bad", so maybe this was better suited for someone who is just starting to foray into racism and biphobia? (It is a YA book, tbf, and I'm 24)
I also had some trouble with the ending of the book, and this is where the "oh, it makes sense if this is going to have a sequel" thing comes in. Because Hani and Ishu start fake dating so Hani's friends will take her seriously about being bisexual, and so Ishu can become Head Girl and thus prove to her parents that she's not going to "screw up" like her sister, whose shadow Ishu has felt she's been in her entire life, but towards the end something happens between Ishu and her parents, making her relationship with them more strained, and making her closer to her sister, and that plot-line, specially with the parents, doesn't get closed satisfactorily (I LOVED how Ishu and Nik's relationship grew tho); and the explanation we get for how Aisling acts since Hani tells them she's "dating" Ishu felt like BS quite honestly (which isn't to bash the author, because her intent might very well have been for it to sound like BS, because it also doesn't explain the biphobia and racism from before Ishu came into the picture), and Dee never grows as a character. So things seem to have been left open, and if it was intentional to make it open-ending, for me it didn't feel that way when I was reading. If you want the full explanation it's in the spoiler tag
And on Hani's side: After the cheating fiasco with Aisling, Hani is not sure who to believe, but ends up realizing it doesn't make sense that Ishu would copy off of Aisling, as Ishu always get stellar grades and Aisling doesn't, and confronts Aisling for being manipulative and a liar, and Aisling's only response is "ok I'm sorry I did that, are we friends again?", because apparently the whole reason she was a pos was that "she was jealous of Ishu because Hani has been friends with her and Dee all her life and she was changing", and when Hani tells her she needs time, Aisling throws a fit, Dee tries to defend her (saying "it was a mistake"), and finally Aisling tells Hani "Forgive me, don't forgive me. I'm definitely not apologizing to Ishita Dey" and leaves, and so does Dee. And while I don't expect a picture perfect ending where Aisling realizes she's a shitty friend, and gets over her biphobia and racism, we were shown a couple of times that Dee seemed to not always agree with Aisling, and sometimes go against her wishes in small ways, but like I said before, she doesn't get any development and she stays Aisling's follower until the end.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Bullying, Racism, Biphobia, Cursing, Emotional abuse, Islamophobia, and Toxic friendship
Moderate: Gaslighting, Lesbophobia, Religious bigotry, and Abandonment
Minor: Alcohol, Misogyny, Colonisation, Pedophilia, Pregnancy, Eating disorder, and Fatphobia
pandemonicbaby's review against another edition
emotional
lighthearted
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.25
I think I had higher expectations for this book, and I'm kinda sad it didn't keep up with them. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed it! But I guess I just thought it would go somewhere different? I'm not sure. I think maybe there could have been more moments between the characters that showcased their chemistry better? I'm not sure. But I did like their concepts as characters; a popular bi girl who lets keeps letting people walk all over her and doesn't feel comfortable being her true self, and an awkward queer nerd who is definitely not a people person. I just guess I expected more from their dynamic, because it seemed really promising to me.
Also, the characters of Aisling and Dee seemed pretty one-dimensional to me, as in i didn't see why they ever had any, let's say, "friendship chemistry" with hani. They didn't really seem that believable as her friends - they didn't seem to share any interests or anything like that -, and it's like they were only put there to be the villains. I think it would've been more interesting if the book showed them being more fleshed-out characters, and show us why Hani was so scared of standing up to her friends. It might be scary to stand up to people you dislike, but it's scarier to stand up to people you like, and I think the book would've been able to take the reader through a deepet journey in Hani's mindset if it showed reasons as to why she had liked her friends in the first place.
Overall, it was a very interesting concept, but i just wish it had been executed better. It was still a nice read, and I like sweet sapphic stories.
Among Jaigirdar's work, though, I think I still prefer The Henna Wars.
Also, the characters of Aisling and Dee seemed pretty one-dimensional to me, as in i didn't see why they ever had any, let's say, "friendship chemistry" with hani. They didn't really seem that believable as her friends - they didn't seem to share any interests or anything like that -, and it's like they were only put there to be the villains. I think it would've been more interesting if the book showed them being more fleshed-out characters, and show us why Hani was so scared of standing up to her friends. It might be scary to stand up to people you dislike, but it's scarier to stand up to people you like, and I think the book would've been able to take the reader through a deepet journey in Hani's mindset if it showed reasons as to why she had liked her friends in the first place.
Overall, it was a very interesting concept, but i just wish it had been executed better. It was still a nice read, and I like sweet sapphic stories.
Among Jaigirdar's work, though, I think I still prefer The Henna Wars.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Xenophobia, Toxic friendship, Biphobia, and Islamophobia
Moderate: Emotional abuse, Bullying, Lesbophobia, and Racism
Minor: Alcohol
elliereadsthings's review against another edition
hopeful
lighthearted
reflective
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
It wouldn't be a good queer YA romance if I didn't want to hit each of the main characters at least 6 times, now would it?
★★★★✩
"You made a mistake, and your Abba made a mistake too," she murmurs. "It doesn't make anybody the worst anything in the world. It just makes us human."
★★★★✩
"You made a mistake, and your Abba made a mistake too," she murmurs. "It doesn't make anybody the worst anything in the world. It just makes us human."
Content Warnings
Graphic: Toxic friendship
Moderate: Racism, Lesbophobia, Biphobia, Xenophobia, and Islamophobia
Minor: Alcohol, Emotional abuse, Outing, and Bullying
skiis's review
emotional
hopeful
lighthearted
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
3.75
you know the book good when you wanna jump inside it and beat somebody up
i hate aisling and dee, i love ishu & nik's dynamic, watching hani get run over (toxic friendship wise) so many times and not being able to do something frustrated me, but then again i couldn't be mad at her because it was realistic
i feel like in the beginning, it was weird because the book started like i already knew these characters. it was jus a bit weird to me but by chap 5 i finally caught on
towards the part where hani didn't have an answer to whether or not she believed ishu, (killed me inside, yes, bc wtf girl) that's where it started to get a liiiittle slow but i guess it was to update us on head girl and the election, but we should've been updated while the book was going on yk? also plot twist when it turned out to be 6 weeks of this entire book??? it felt LONGER omg.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Abandonment, Biphobia, Gaslighting, Homophobia, Islamophobia, Racism, and Toxic friendship
Moderate: Cursing, Emotional abuse, and Lesbophobia
Minor: Eating disorder and Alcohol
kitty_may12's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
hopeful
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
not only was this one of the cutest things I've ever read filled with an endearing romance brimming with optimism and hope that had me feeling all the feels. Hani and Ishu couldn't be more different yet, there's a kind of push-and-pull dynamic between them that's thoroughly enjoyable. The girls are wholly unique with their own distinct voice, flaws and motivations.
A thoughtful own-voices story that is dynamic and joyous. Embracing every aspect of both the Irish and Bengali cultures and weaves a confidently complex narrative that treats both with respect.
A thoughtful own-voices story that is dynamic and joyous. Embracing every aspect of both the Irish and Bengali cultures and weaves a confidently complex narrative that treats both with respect.
Razor sharp, taking a sledgehammer to archetypes and stereotypes with it's messages of hope that cannot be overlooked.
<also I hated Hani's fake-ass friends<
Content Warnings
Graphic: Lesbophobia, Gaslighting, Biphobia, and Toxic friendship
Moderate: Xenophobia, Bullying, Religious bigotry, Abandonment, Emotional abuse, and Islamophobia
Minor: Outing, Self harm, and Sexism
angelfireeast24's review
adventurous
challenging
emotional
hopeful
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Bullying, Emotional abuse, Islamophobia, Racism, Religious bigotry, Toxic friendship, Abandonment, and Homophobia
Moderate: Cursing
This is a really good book but at times the racism and bigoty was hard to read. The story is worth it. Read ittheespressoedition's review against another edition
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.5
Well, this was not the story I was hoping it would be.
I was looking forward to a queer fake dating book, and while yes, that's the primary plot, all I felt like I got from this one was a bunch of teen angst and bullying. I've said it before and I'll say it again: I realize that YA means there will be a more juvenile take. However, it seemed like a bit of a letdown to have what could have been a really great story full of depth and character development feel so shallow. It was heavy without having any actual emotional weight to carry it.
In a lot of ways, it reminded me of how I felt after reading I Kissed Shara Wheeler. There was a lot of potential but it didn't live up to any of my expectations. Great concept with poor execution. And while I thought it would be cute, it really wasn't. None of the romance was even really swoon-worthy... it was just lacking in so many ways.
Definitely not my kind of book, sadly.
I was looking forward to a queer fake dating book, and while yes, that's the primary plot, all I felt like I got from this one was a bunch of teen angst and bullying. I've said it before and I'll say it again: I realize that YA means there will be a more juvenile take. However, it seemed like a bit of a letdown to have what could have been a really great story full of depth and character development feel so shallow. It was heavy without having any actual emotional weight to carry it.
In a lot of ways, it reminded me of how I felt after reading I Kissed Shara Wheeler. There was a lot of potential but it didn't live up to any of my expectations. Great concept with poor execution. And while I thought it would be cute, it really wasn't. None of the romance was even really swoon-worthy... it was just lacking in so many ways.
Definitely not my kind of book, sadly.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Biphobia, Emotional abuse, Islamophobia, Toxic relationship, and Toxic friendship
Moderate: Cursing
ninahuynh's review against another edition
adventurous
emotional
funny
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.75
Lovely book! There is a lot of discrimination in the book, so please read content warnings. There are some characters that are so hateful I wanted to throw the book a few times. The fake dating trope was good, and the duo perspective helps us see both sides and their yearning. Love the representation of Bengali people and queer people and family dynamics in an Asian household.
Only reason not 5 stars is there are a few typos and mismatched quotations marks that I can't help but notice and keep track. Not sure if it's just in my copy, but wanted to note that.
Only reason not 5 stars is there are a few typos and mismatched quotations marks that I can't help but notice and keep track. Not sure if it's just in my copy, but wanted to note that.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Bullying, Cursing, Emotional abuse, Homophobia, Islamophobia, Racism, Toxic friendship, Alcohol, Gaslighting, Lesbophobia, and Biphobia
Minor: Religious bigotry
amybun's review
hopeful
reflective
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
4.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Emotional abuse, Gaslighting, Biphobia, Racism, Toxic friendship, Abandonment, Bullying, Homophobia, Islamophobia, and Lesbophobia