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Reviews tagging 'Toxic friendship'
Hani and Ishu's Guide to Fake Dating by Adiba Jaigirdar
300 reviews
jadeandherbunny's review against another edition
funny
hopeful
informative
lighthearted
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.75
I really liked this!
I loved that Hani and Ishu, in their own way, are so close to my personality.
I loved the sisterly dynamic between Nik and Ishu because of the maturity of Nik and Parent-pleaser Ishu. I kind of thought I would hate Nik in the first half but she is the best side character. I
Hani is just the sweetest girl, I was/am kind of like her because of her not setting boundaries with her friends.
It is kind of slow-burn ? I thought there wouldn't be any kiss because there wasn't any until the end of the 3rd act conflict. Not that it would have been catastrophic since it is YA
I learned a lot about Desi people and liked it wayyy more than when I read Dating Dr. Dil by Nisha Sharma.
I'm just a bit sad that Ishu couldn't come out to her parents. But it is pleasing to know that a lot of queer teenagers felt seen reading about it since it is a harsh reality.
It did not get a higher rating because we didn't really know any character outside of Nik and Aisling. (And don't tell there's Dee we only know she's a doormat)
I loved that Hani and Ishu, in their own way, are so close to my personality.
I loved the sisterly dynamic between Nik and Ishu because of the maturity of Nik and Parent-pleaser Ishu.
Hani is just the sweetest girl, I was/am kind of like her because of her not setting boundaries with her friends.
It is kind of slow-burn ?
I learned a lot about Desi people and liked it wayyy more than when I read Dating Dr. Dil by Nisha Sharma.
I'm just a bit sad that Ishu couldn't come out to her parents. But it is pleasing to know that a lot of queer teenagers felt seen reading about it since it is a harsh reality.
It did not get a higher rating because we didn't really know any character outside of Nik and Aisling. (And don't tell there's Dee we only know she's a doormat)
Content Warnings
Graphic: Lesbophobia, Homophobia, Racism, Toxic friendship, Biphobia, Gaslighting, Bullying, and Islamophobia
Minor: Mental illness and Alcohol
jennireadsmaybe's review against another edition
emotional
funny
hopeful
lighthearted
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
Adiba Jaidirdar tackles first love, toxic friendship, messy family dynamics, and so much more in Hani and Ishu's Guide to Fake Dating. The Bengali and Muslim culture throughout the book was so good! I adore the fact that Hani's parents were completely supportive of her queerness and Nikhita was ready to go to bat for Ishu. Hani is further proof that queerness and religion are not a dichotomy, and I'm always so excited to find new books that explore the relationship between the two.
The romance between Hani and Ishu was the best kind of slow burn, because we got to see them become each other's person and struggle with what it means to fall in love with someone. Fake dating is one of my favorite tropes and this is a new favorite addition to the list. Do you love sapphic romance? Fake dating? Teens being teens? Pick this one up.
Hani's friends are going to get what's coming to them for all their crimes. We ride at dawn people.
The romance between Hani and Ishu was the best kind of slow burn, because we got to see them become each other's person and struggle with what it means to fall in love with someone. Fake dating is one of my favorite tropes and this is a new favorite addition to the list. Do you love sapphic romance? Fake dating? Teens being teens? Pick this one up.
Hani's friends are going to get what's coming to them for all their crimes. We ride at dawn people.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Lesbophobia, Biphobia, Bullying, Islamophobia, Toxic friendship, Homophobia, and Racism
Moderate: Abandonment and Gaslighting
cats33's review against another edition
emotional
funny
lighthearted
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Toxic friendship, Bullying, Religious bigotry, Gaslighting, Islamophobia, Lesbophobia, Biphobia, Emotional abuse, and Homophobia
Moderate: Cursing, Racism, and Outing
Minor: Classism and Colonisation
yasidiaz's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
lighthearted
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.75
I have only read one other book from Adiba Jaigirdar and I have already come to love the way can bring overall lighthearted and funny stories while still touching serious topics. It gives more to relate to with the characters and understand queer BIPOC people.
When I read the Dos and Donuts of Love I noted how the romance didn't do much for me until the end, however, that didn't happen with this one. Not only did I love Ishu and Hani from the start, but I also loved them together. The more they got to know each other and became protective of each other while trying to deny their feelings was chef's kiss to me.
My only complaint and the only reason this is not 5 starts, it's that I wish I would have loved to see more pining and more funny hijinks between them and their arrangement.
When I read the Dos and Donuts of Love I noted how the romance didn't do much for me until the end, however, that didn't happen with this one. Not only did I love Ishu and Hani from the start, but I also loved them together. The more they got to know each other and became protective of each other while trying to deny their feelings was chef's kiss to me.
My only complaint and the only reason this is not 5 starts, it's that I wish I would have loved to see more pining and more funny hijinks between them and their arrangement.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Racism, Biphobia, and Toxic friendship
moondaisyy's review
emotional
hopeful
lighthearted
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Biphobia, Homophobia, and Lesbophobia
Moderate: Racism, Bullying, Toxic friendship, and Religious bigotry
wardenred's review against another edition
emotional
funny
hopeful
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.25
“You know you’re going to have to pretend to like me, right?” I ask. “And… if you want to be Head Girl, you’ll also have to pretend that you like other people.”
This reminded me of She Gets the Girl by Rachael Lippincott & Alyson Derrick. The characters are younger and overall pretty different, the premise is almost the polar opposite, but something about the execution of the "opposites attract" trope and the overall vibe makes me want to put the books on the same shelf. I think if you (dis)liked one of these books, you are super likely to feel the same way about the other.
Speaking of tropes, I'm kind of surprised I've often seen this mentioned as "enemies to lovers," because like... I didn't notice a trace of that? Hani and Ishu are neither enemies nor rivals, they're simply not friends (until they are). They show up at the same Bengali gatherings and go to the same school, but they don't really know each other. Until, of course, roughly at the same time, each of them tells a spur-of-the-moment lie that snowballs into more lies in the form of a tenuous fake dating plan. It's slightly ridiculous from the get-go, but with the way it's presented, I found it weirdly relatable in that "teens meandering through life dramatically as teens do" way. I really liked watching these two get closer and catch genuine feelings, and I loved learning more about the Bengali culture along the way. The book actually prompted me to go look up a bunch of things for better understanding.
I also really liked the way the plotlines that prompted the girls to come up with that plan play out: Hani's relationship with her friends, Ishu's with her parents.
There were things that took a bit from my enjoyment, though. Such as the weird accidentally shared google doc plotline (how was that even supposed to happen?). Or how it was never quite explained why Hani kept clinging to her toxic friends for so long. Around absolutely everyone else, she doesn't seem like such a complete people-pleaser, but with those girls, she just let them stomp all over the things that were important to her—her culture, her religion, her family, her values—and constantly justified it with "but they're my friends, but we have fun together." Whereas never once in the entire book were Aisling and Dee shown as someone acting non-maliciously friendly or being fun to be around. Perhaps it's their portrayal that's the issue, actually. If there was more nuance to their behavior around Hani, this entire plotline would be more complex and interesting.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Islamophobia, Biphobia, Bullying, and Toxic friendship
Moderate: Homophobia and Racism
lunep's review against another edition
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.5
I want to make it clear that I don't think this is a bad book (bc I know I spend most of the review focused on what I didn't like, but it's not my intention to disuade anyone of reading this book).
Some of the positive things I got from the book: I liked the characters, I thought Hani and Ishu's relationship was cute, and I liked how they grew as characters. I also liked Hani's relationship with her mom, it was really nice to see how accepting and understanding she was with Hani, and I liked that it was mentioned that they did have to readjust their expectations a little when Hani came out, but it was a Them Problem, not a Hani-Being-Bisexual Problem, it made me feel really warm to read all their interactions. And I also liked the relationship that Ishu and her sister developed, I'm a big enjoyer of sibling and sibling-like relationships where the siblings know they can count on each other even if they sometimes argue or disagree. I also really liked learning more about bangladeshi culture and Islam through the book.
However, the book itself had some things (I don't wanna call them problems bc they might be subjective) that made me not love it. I went into the book thinking it was a stand-alone, then when I had finished it I saw on here it was part of a series, so I thought "oh ok, maybe some of my grievances come from the fact that I had some expectations that shouldn't have been there, and will be addressed in coming book(s)" but I looked it up and there's no sequel, just a novella, so I'm back to my grievances.
The book deals with some heavy topics (it even has a Content Warnings page, which I liked) mostly racism, biphobia and lesbophobia, islamophobia, toxic friendships, and parental abandonement. But I'm not sure if it's because I've read about these topics before (I'm not trying to say I'm an expert on them, but I'm acquainted with them) or what, but I felt it was...kind of on the nose? Or like, too obvious? I'm not sure how to explain it correctly, I'm not trying to say these things don't happen irl, but while reading Hani deal with her friends, for example, Aisling and Dee's actions felt a little weird to me, like over-simplified, in spanish there's this expression "dar masticado" which translates literally to "to be given [something] chewed", which means simplifying a hard topic for easier understanding. To me the friends characters and the principal felt very 2D, with little nuance, kind of like their only purpose was to show "what these characters do is bad", so maybe this was better suited for someone who is just starting to foray into racism and biphobia? (It is a YA book, tbf, and I'm 24)
I also had some trouble with the ending of the book, and this is where the "oh, it makes sense if this is going to have a sequel" thing comes in. Because Hani and Ishu start fake dating so Hani's friends will take her seriously about being bisexual, and so Ishu can become Head Girl and thus prove to her parents that she's not going to "screw up" like her sister, whose shadow Ishu has felt she's been in her entire life, but towards the end something happens between Ishu and her parents, making her relationship with them more strained, and making her closer to her sister, and that plot-line, specially with the parents, doesn't get closed satisfactorily (I LOVED how Ishu and Nik's relationship grew tho); and the explanation we get for how Aisling acts since Hani tells them she's "dating" Ishu felt like BS quite honestly (which isn't to bash the author, because her intent might very well have been for it to sound like BS, because it also doesn't explain the biphobia and racism from before Ishu came into the picture), and Dee never grows as a character. So things seem to have been left open, and if it was intentional to make it open-ending, for me it didn't feel that way when I was reading. If you want the full explanation it's in the spoiler tagFirst, Ishu's side: Ishu's sister Nik is studying medicine in London and her parents are super proud of her, until she comes back and tells them she wants to pause her studies a year to get married. Her parents don't like it because they feel she's throwing everything they did for her to the trash and basically cut her from the family. Ishu comes to find out that Nik just didn't like medicine and had been doing terribly because she hated it and she doesn't want to go back to studying medicine, and even tho she IS getting married, that was just an excuse. At the same time, Aisling, Hani's friend, accuses Ishu of copying off of her on a biology test, and when the school tells her parents, they get mad at her too, and even tho she tells them she didn't cheat (it actually was the other way around, Ishu let Aisling copy thinking Aisling had actually started to accept her as Hani's gf), they don't believe her, and it's Nik who confronts the principal and cleans Ishu's name (to the principal only, bc the principal doesn't want to tell the school the truth bc now it would affect the white student, yay racism /sarcasm), which makes Ishu realize that the idea of what "success" looks like for their parents is very narrow, and it's extremely easy to fall off it, and off their graces too, which makes her realize Nik is not her enemy and makes them closer. So with the scene set, Ishu tells her mom she wants to go to Nik's wedding, and her mom admits that she would like to too, but she's not going to go against her husband's wishes, but lets Ishu go. And that's how that plot-line ends. Ishu and Hani go to the wedding but nothing else happens with the parents. Also, Ishu never comes out to her parents either, even after she and Hani start to date for real.
And on Hani's side: After the cheating fiasco with Aisling, Hani is not sure who to believe, but ends up realizing it doesn't make sense that Ishu would copy off of Aisling, as Ishu always get stellar grades and Aisling doesn't, and confronts Aisling for being manipulative and a liar, and Aisling's only response is "ok I'm sorry I did that, are we friends again?", because apparently the whole reason she was a pos was that "she was jealous of Ishu because Hani has been friends with her and Dee all her life and she was changing", and when Hani tells her she needs time, Aisling throws a fit, Dee tries to defend her (saying "it was a mistake"), and finally Aisling tells Hani "Forgive me, don't forgive me. I'm definitely not apologizing to Ishita Dey" and leaves, and so does Dee. And while I don't expect a picture perfect ending where Aisling realizes she's a shitty friend, and gets over her biphobia and racism, we were shown a couple of times that Dee seemed to not always agree with Aisling, and sometimes go against her wishes in small ways, but like I said before, she doesn't get any development and she stays Aisling's follower until the end.
Some of the positive things I got from the book: I liked the characters, I thought Hani and Ishu's relationship was cute, and I liked how they grew as characters. I also liked Hani's relationship with her mom, it was really nice to see how accepting and understanding she was with Hani, and I liked that it was mentioned that they did have to readjust their expectations a little when Hani came out, but it was a Them Problem, not a Hani-Being-Bisexual Problem, it made me feel really warm to read all their interactions. And I also liked the relationship that Ishu and her sister developed, I'm a big enjoyer of sibling and sibling-like relationships where the siblings know they can count on each other even if they sometimes argue or disagree. I also really liked learning more about bangladeshi culture and Islam through the book.
However, the book itself had some things (I don't wanna call them problems bc they might be subjective) that made me not love it. I went into the book thinking it was a stand-alone, then when I had finished it I saw on here it was part of a series, so I thought "oh ok, maybe some of my grievances come from the fact that I had some expectations that shouldn't have been there, and will be addressed in coming book(s)" but I looked it up and there's no sequel, just a novella, so I'm back to my grievances.
The book deals with some heavy topics (it even has a Content Warnings page, which I liked) mostly racism, biphobia and lesbophobia, islamophobia, toxic friendships, and parental abandonement. But I'm not sure if it's because I've read about these topics before (I'm not trying to say I'm an expert on them, but I'm acquainted with them) or what, but I felt it was...kind of on the nose? Or like, too obvious? I'm not sure how to explain it correctly, I'm not trying to say these things don't happen irl, but while reading Hani deal with her friends, for example, Aisling and Dee's actions felt a little weird to me, like over-simplified, in spanish there's this expression "dar masticado" which translates literally to "to be given [something] chewed", which means simplifying a hard topic for easier understanding. To me the friends characters and the principal felt very 2D, with little nuance, kind of like their only purpose was to show "what these characters do is bad", so maybe this was better suited for someone who is just starting to foray into racism and biphobia? (It is a YA book, tbf, and I'm 24)
I also had some trouble with the ending of the book, and this is where the "oh, it makes sense if this is going to have a sequel" thing comes in. Because Hani and Ishu start fake dating so Hani's friends will take her seriously about being bisexual, and so Ishu can become Head Girl and thus prove to her parents that she's not going to "screw up" like her sister, whose shadow Ishu has felt she's been in her entire life, but towards the end something happens between Ishu and her parents, making her relationship with them more strained, and making her closer to her sister, and that plot-line, specially with the parents, doesn't get closed satisfactorily (I LOVED how Ishu and Nik's relationship grew tho); and the explanation we get for how Aisling acts since Hani tells them she's "dating" Ishu felt like BS quite honestly (which isn't to bash the author, because her intent might very well have been for it to sound like BS, because it also doesn't explain the biphobia and racism from before Ishu came into the picture), and Dee never grows as a character. So things seem to have been left open, and if it was intentional to make it open-ending, for me it didn't feel that way when I was reading. If you want the full explanation it's in the spoiler tag
And on Hani's side: After the cheating fiasco with Aisling, Hani is not sure who to believe, but ends up realizing it doesn't make sense that Ishu would copy off of Aisling, as Ishu always get stellar grades and Aisling doesn't, and confronts Aisling for being manipulative and a liar, and Aisling's only response is "ok I'm sorry I did that, are we friends again?", because apparently the whole reason she was a pos was that "she was jealous of Ishu because Hani has been friends with her and Dee all her life and she was changing", and when Hani tells her she needs time, Aisling throws a fit, Dee tries to defend her (saying "it was a mistake"), and finally Aisling tells Hani "Forgive me, don't forgive me. I'm definitely not apologizing to Ishita Dey" and leaves, and so does Dee. And while I don't expect a picture perfect ending where Aisling realizes she's a shitty friend, and gets over her biphobia and racism, we were shown a couple of times that Dee seemed to not always agree with Aisling, and sometimes go against her wishes in small ways, but like I said before, she doesn't get any development and she stays Aisling's follower until the end.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Bullying, Racism, Biphobia, Cursing, Emotional abuse, Islamophobia, and Toxic friendship
Moderate: Gaslighting, Lesbophobia, Religious bigotry, and Abandonment
Minor: Alcohol, Misogyny, Colonisation, Pedophilia, Pregnancy, Eating disorder, and Fatphobia
pandemonicbaby's review against another edition
emotional
lighthearted
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.25
I think I had higher expectations for this book, and I'm kinda sad it didn't keep up with them. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed it! But I guess I just thought it would go somewhere different? I'm not sure. I think maybe there could have been more moments between the characters that showcased their chemistry better? I'm not sure. But I did like their concepts as characters; a popular bi girl who lets keeps letting people walk all over her and doesn't feel comfortable being her true self, and an awkward queer nerd who is definitely not a people person. I just guess I expected more from their dynamic, because it seemed really promising to me.
Also, the characters of Aisling and Dee seemed pretty one-dimensional to me, as in i didn't see why they ever had any, let's say, "friendship chemistry" with hani. They didn't really seem that believable as her friends - they didn't seem to share any interests or anything like that -, and it's like they were only put there to be the villains. I think it would've been more interesting if the book showed them being more fleshed-out characters, and show us why Hani was so scared of standing up to her friends. It might be scary to stand up to people you dislike, but it's scarier to stand up to people you like, and I think the book would've been able to take the reader through a deepet journey in Hani's mindset if it showed reasons as to why she had liked her friends in the first place.
Overall, it was a very interesting concept, but i just wish it had been executed better. It was still a nice read, and I like sweet sapphic stories.
Among Jaigirdar's work, though, I think I still prefer The Henna Wars.
Also, the characters of Aisling and Dee seemed pretty one-dimensional to me, as in i didn't see why they ever had any, let's say, "friendship chemistry" with hani. They didn't really seem that believable as her friends - they didn't seem to share any interests or anything like that -, and it's like they were only put there to be the villains. I think it would've been more interesting if the book showed them being more fleshed-out characters, and show us why Hani was so scared of standing up to her friends. It might be scary to stand up to people you dislike, but it's scarier to stand up to people you like, and I think the book would've been able to take the reader through a deepet journey in Hani's mindset if it showed reasons as to why she had liked her friends in the first place.
Overall, it was a very interesting concept, but i just wish it had been executed better. It was still a nice read, and I like sweet sapphic stories.
Among Jaigirdar's work, though, I think I still prefer The Henna Wars.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Xenophobia, Toxic friendship, Biphobia, and Islamophobia
Moderate: Emotional abuse, Bullying, Lesbophobia, and Racism
Minor: Alcohol
elliereadsthings's review against another edition
hopeful
lighthearted
reflective
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
It wouldn't be a good queer YA romance if I didn't want to hit each of the main characters at least 6 times, now would it?
★★★★✩
"You made a mistake, and your Abba made a mistake too," she murmurs. "It doesn't make anybody the worst anything in the world. It just makes us human."
★★★★✩
"You made a mistake, and your Abba made a mistake too," she murmurs. "It doesn't make anybody the worst anything in the world. It just makes us human."
Content Warnings
Graphic: Toxic friendship
Moderate: Racism, Lesbophobia, Biphobia, Xenophobia, and Islamophobia
Minor: Alcohol, Emotional abuse, Outing, and Bullying
manicpixiedreaming's review
emotional
funny
hopeful
lighthearted
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
5.0
this book was perfect. no flaws.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Racism, Biphobia, Toxic friendship, and Islamophobia