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panda_incognito's review against another edition
4.0
In this incredibly personal, vulnerable book, Chelsea Patterson Sobolik shares her infertility story and encourages other women with unfulfilled dreams of motherhood to find hope in Christ and meaning in the midst of their trials. She is very sensitive to the different situations that women deal with, and addresses the concerns of single women who long for motherhood, not just women with physical infertility issues. However, even though this book is very inclusive, it is designed for women who experience intense grief and despair over their childlessness. I personally cannot imagine caring this much about whether or not I can have biological children, and some women who merely feel sad about their childlessness may not fully connect to this because the author's experience is so intense. She presumes that other women experience equal anguish, and there is less space in her narrative for people who are only disappointed over this issue.
This book is excellent, however, for the women who do experience anguish like hers, since there are so few resources that take infertility seriously as a loss issue and not just a lack. This book will deeply encourage those who experience childlessness as an immense trial, and it is full of candid personal stories, hard-won wisdom, and biblical hope. I would recommend this book to anyone who is deeply sad and struggling over their unfulfilled longings for motherhood, and I also recommend this to people who want to support the childless women in their lives. This book is a gift to the church because of how seriously it takes childlessness, and it provides substantial advice to people in that situation, their family and friends, and the churches who need to create a welcoming and inclusive environment for childless people and single people.
This book is grounded in Scripture instead of a self-help mentality, and draws from both the Bible and scientific literature to give readers a sense of how to endure trials and understand the dynamics of grief and loss. I found this book very moving at times, because even though I cannot relate to the author's intense desire for her own biological children, what she wrote about her worst nightmare and greatest pain resonated with me because of my own, unrelated struggles with mental illness. This book is an unusually excellent resource about suffering, and many of its chapters and truths apply just as well to other areas of pain as to childlessness. I could nod along with so many things she had written, because even though her specific context was different than mine, I have gone through similar thought processes and clung to similar Scriptures and truths.
The one objection I have to this book is the author's overly brief treatment of various assisted reproductive technologies. In my opinion, if she was going to include a section about this in the book, it should have been longer and included more information for people weighing the ethical consequences of these methods. I was most bothered by her paragraph on surrogacy, where she said that she has rejected this as an option because it seems like "playing God" to her. This is valid, but she leaves it as a personal preference or intuition without exploring the ethical dynamics of producing a child in this way.
She did not address the potential for exploitation in a surrogacy arrangement, the bond that naturally develops between surrogates and the children that they carry, the legal ramifications of a surrogate suing for parenthood, or the consequences that severing a prenatal bond can have on the baby. Because she presented her view as a personal conviction without addressing any of the underlying ethical implications, I wondered if she is close to people who have chosen surrogacy and didn't want to imply judgment towards them. I don't know, but it was the best explanation that I could think of for why she completely sidestepped the ethical problems with this.
Overall, however, this is a solid resource that I would highly recommend to women struggling with unfulfilled desires for motherhood and the families, friends, and churches that support them. I enjoyed reading it, learned a lot from the author's raw and vulnerable sharing, and appreciate her biblical encouragements about walking through pain and suffering. Despite its minor flaws, this is a great book with the potential to comfort, encourage, educate, and sensitize many people who are affected by this issue or love those who are.
This book is excellent, however, for the women who do experience anguish like hers, since there are so few resources that take infertility seriously as a loss issue and not just a lack. This book will deeply encourage those who experience childlessness as an immense trial, and it is full of candid personal stories, hard-won wisdom, and biblical hope. I would recommend this book to anyone who is deeply sad and struggling over their unfulfilled longings for motherhood, and I also recommend this to people who want to support the childless women in their lives. This book is a gift to the church because of how seriously it takes childlessness, and it provides substantial advice to people in that situation, their family and friends, and the churches who need to create a welcoming and inclusive environment for childless people and single people.
This book is grounded in Scripture instead of a self-help mentality, and draws from both the Bible and scientific literature to give readers a sense of how to endure trials and understand the dynamics of grief and loss. I found this book very moving at times, because even though I cannot relate to the author's intense desire for her own biological children, what she wrote about her worst nightmare and greatest pain resonated with me because of my own, unrelated struggles with mental illness. This book is an unusually excellent resource about suffering, and many of its chapters and truths apply just as well to other areas of pain as to childlessness. I could nod along with so many things she had written, because even though her specific context was different than mine, I have gone through similar thought processes and clung to similar Scriptures and truths.
The one objection I have to this book is the author's overly brief treatment of various assisted reproductive technologies. In my opinion, if she was going to include a section about this in the book, it should have been longer and included more information for people weighing the ethical consequences of these methods. I was most bothered by her paragraph on surrogacy, where she said that she has rejected this as an option because it seems like "playing God" to her. This is valid, but she leaves it as a personal preference or intuition without exploring the ethical dynamics of producing a child in this way.
She did not address the potential for exploitation in a surrogacy arrangement, the bond that naturally develops between surrogates and the children that they carry, the legal ramifications of a surrogate suing for parenthood, or the consequences that severing a prenatal bond can have on the baby. Because she presented her view as a personal conviction without addressing any of the underlying ethical implications, I wondered if she is close to people who have chosen surrogacy and didn't want to imply judgment towards them. I don't know, but it was the best explanation that I could think of for why she completely sidestepped the ethical problems with this.
Overall, however, this is a solid resource that I would highly recommend to women struggling with unfulfilled desires for motherhood and the families, friends, and churches that support them. I enjoyed reading it, learned a lot from the author's raw and vulnerable sharing, and appreciate her biblical encouragements about walking through pain and suffering. Despite its minor flaws, this is a great book with the potential to comfort, encourage, educate, and sensitize many people who are affected by this issue or love those who are.
bryladyzama's review against another edition
5.0
I highly recommend this book for anyone struggling with not being able to have children and for anyone who doesn't understand those around them who are struggling with this. The author did a very thorough job walking through the grief of not having children and gently pointing the reader back to Christ. She also gave some very practical advise on how to focus on Christ when things seem hopeless in addition to some great ideas and practical suggestions for those in the church on how to encourage and be there for those who are struggling with childlessness.
snorthington's review against another edition
3.0
I am a member of Chelsea's launch team for this book which releases March 6, and have to graciously thank her and Moody Publishing for the two copies of this book I received. I am planning to give both copies to our local library.
I was so touched by Chelsea's personal story and the journey she has walked in her own adoption and barrenness. I enjoyed the way she pointed to the women of the Bible who experience childlessness and what she learned through their stories. I agree that childlessness needs to be a topic of greater conversation and brought out of the shame and shadows that can surround our desires to become mothers and the struggles that road can hold. Overall I found Chelsea's words encouraging and enjoyed what she had to say.
I do wish there was more concrete actionable items. Some chapters are filled with this, and others just leave you with a few Bible verses or Biblical illustrations without the necessary grounding. I feel this book could be richer if some areas were fleshed out deeper.
I do recommend this book to women longing for motherhood or struggling with their childlessness. In addition, I recommend this book to their families and friends, to pastors and counselors, and others who are walking alongside women on this journey.
I was so touched by Chelsea's personal story and the journey she has walked in her own adoption and barrenness. I enjoyed the way she pointed to the women of the Bible who experience childlessness and what she learned through their stories. I agree that childlessness needs to be a topic of greater conversation and brought out of the shame and shadows that can surround our desires to become mothers and the struggles that road can hold. Overall I found Chelsea's words encouraging and enjoyed what she had to say.
I do wish there was more concrete actionable items. Some chapters are filled with this, and others just leave you with a few Bible verses or Biblical illustrations without the necessary grounding. I feel this book could be richer if some areas were fleshed out deeper.
I do recommend this book to women longing for motherhood or struggling with their childlessness. In addition, I recommend this book to their families and friends, to pastors and counselors, and others who are walking alongside women on this journey.
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