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exeidur's review
I could not get past the first chapter. There's just too much wrong with this. In the first 20 pages or so (of the ebook, at least):
- A three year old is about as eloquent as the average adult. I understand some children are advanced for their age, but this was just too much.
- Everything is done to make you understand this is medieval fantasy. It's just too over the top.
- The prose already gets repetitive ('she tried to smile' twice within a few sentences of each other)
- Simple grammar mistakes were made
- The phrasing is standard at best, awkward at worst.
- Paragraphs are structured very strangely and do not help with a comfortable reading process.
- There are so many infodumps. And none of the information seems actually important to the story. It's more like boasts about how awesome the (main) character is.
- An extremely powerful mage lady, the protagonist's wife, lost a child half a year ago. Even though she's specialised in healing magic. Very sad, but she apparently has barely left her room all this time, the husband does not go into detail about anything he might have done to help her. We know of nothing he might've done, but later he mentions offhandedly something like "grief has a strange logic of its own", as a sort of excuse to not attempt to comfort his wife. Any sympathy for this guy just flew out of the window.
So because I haven't read all of it, I can't give it 1 star. I'll stick with 2 because I cannot give it any more than that for what I've read.
- A three year old is about as eloquent as the average adult. I understand some children are advanced for their age, but this was just too much.
- Everything is done to make you understand this is medieval fantasy. It's just too over the top.
- The prose already gets repetitive ('she tried to smile' twice within a few sentences of each other)
- Simple grammar mistakes were made
- The phrasing is standard at best, awkward at worst.
- Paragraphs are structured very strangely and do not help with a comfortable reading process.
- There are so many infodumps. And none of the information seems actually important to the story. It's more like boasts about how awesome the (main) character is.
- An extremely powerful mage lady, the protagonist's wife, lost a child half a year ago. Even though she's specialised in healing magic. Very sad, but she apparently has barely left her room all this time, the husband does not go into detail about anything he might have done to help her. We know of nothing he might've done, but later he mentions offhandedly something like "grief has a strange logic of its own", as a sort of excuse to not attempt to comfort his wife. Any sympathy for this guy just flew out of the window.
So because I haven't read all of it, I can't give it 1 star. I'll stick with 2 because I cannot give it any more than that for what I've read.
mindgonemad's review
Just struggled with the writing, tried to persevere but gave up by 1/3 way as got sick of trying to force myself to read.
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