Reviews with content warning for Mental illness - When We Make It

Reviews tagging 'Mental illness'

When We Make It by Elisabet Velasquez

18 reviews

tlaynejones's review against another edition

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emotional funny hopeful sad tense fast-paced

4.25

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fflur's review against another edition

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emotional hopeful inspiring reflective fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

5.0

I normally don't go for verse novels, but I loved this one. It contained so much heart that I thought it was an autobiographical book for a large part of it. It was such a good read, full of emotions, that I read it in one sitting.

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bookishmillennial's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional funny hopeful informative reflective sad tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? N/A

disclaimer: I don’t really give starred reviews. I hope my reviews provide enough information to let you know if a book is for you or not. Find me here: https://linktr.ee/bookishmillennial

This is a novel told in prose/poetry and it is absolutely stunning. We meet 13-year-old Sarai, who lives with her older sister Estrella and their mami in Bushwick in NYC. This is based on the authors' lived experience (but it's not a memoir) being a first-generation Puerto-Rican in the U.S. Sarai tells us about her neighborhood, relationship with her Mami, sisterhood with Estrella, & feelings about herself & her body. Sarai also interrogates her Nuyorican identity and discusses the impact of feeling erased as a culture in the United States. She takes us through her pain, grief, confusion and anger, alongside her Mami's and Estrella's too. They endure houselessness, food insecurity & abuse at the hands of the church, school, & society at large. I highly recommend this & will absolutely be reading more from Elisabet in the future.

There are also resources at the very end (page 378 for my Library ebook copy) for Crisis Text Line, SAMSHA, The Trevor Project, Therapy for Black Girls, Therapy for Latinx, National Domestic Violence, National Suicide Hotline, Child HELP USA National Hotline, National Teen Dating Violence Hotline, The Anti-Violence Project, National Sexual Assault Hotline, National Runaway Switchboard & Trans Lifeline.

On page 380, Elisabet also names the "Poems in Conversation" for reference, which I appreciated because I wouldn't have really known otherwise!

cw: sexual assault, abuse, mental illness, miscarriage, houselessness, food insecurity, and pregnancy

Quotations that stood out to me (but keep in mind they are not formatted the way they were in the novel, & I highly recommend reading for yourself in your ebook/physical copy)

& I wonder what kind of God you have to be to receive praise from the hands responsible for that.

Her name is a bullet that didn’t kill nobody. Her name is the beeper alert that gets a call back.

But it’s something else completely to be the thing everyone is afraid of.

We are all the same in our difference. No matter how we got to be neighbors here We all know we lived somewhere else first.

Where you from? Like nice to meet you. Where you from? Like what block? Where you from? Like what country?

Where you from? Like what God? Where you from? Like where you been? Where you from? Like where you going? Where you from? Like who you missing? Where you from? Like why you here? Where you from? Like have you gone back? Where you from? Like what did you leave behind?

But I know asking questions is sometimes the smartest thing I could do. It gives me permission to not know everything. Besides, answers are just questions that haven’t been discovered yet.

Mami says my talent is being nosy. I say my talent is paying attention.

Our mouths do not get the luxury of rest. Our mouths must always be war-ready, which means, sometimes we rip our names from the teacher’s mouth before she has a chance to kill it, but other times we wait. After all, the teacher is human, like us, but more real. Maybe we wait to see if this time, she will get it right or maybe we are waiting to see if our name can be held in a mouth that is not our mother’s.

People took what they needed. & they needed everything.

CAN I BE PUERTO RICAN? If I was born in Brooklyn? If I’ve never been to Puerto Rico? If I mix my English with my Spanish? If I cop quenepas from the Chino spot? If I don’t know the Boricua national anthem? If I can’t name our national heroes? Can I be Puerto Rican? If the closest I’ve come to the beach is la pompa? If I can’t dance salsa? If all I got is a feeling? Can I be Puerto Rican? If all I got is a feeling?

Some people say we are saying it wrong but they are just jealous our accents want every letter to be heard because isn’t that the worst thing? To exist so plainly in sight and still be ignored.

The people at The Daily News have a story to print. The people in the streets have their own story to tell. & I’m writing my own story so that I can remember it accurately in case someone else tries to tell it for me.

Being left out of conversations means we start our own. Being left out of conversations just makes us more curious. & being curious means we go searching for all the information we not supposed to have.

Maybe Mami’s not angry. Maybe she just knows what she’s worth.

Makes you wonder if white is even a color at all if it can only exist when all of the other colors are erased.

The news only reports on our deaths when we demand to be heard. That’s how come we got to be so loud, I think. So people know we in danger if we ever get too quiet.

YOU GOT POTENTIAL I am supposed to be someone. Someday. If I really want to be. If I keep my grades up. That’s what my teachers keep telling me. My potential is something they like to throw in my face. They use that word like it’s a gift that I won’t open or some shit. They say that I can be or do anything I want. They say that like they almost believe it. Pero, like, what exactly do they mean I could be someone if I really wanted to? So, who do they think I am now?

’cause you can love something until you die but that doesn’t mean you have to let it kill you

Speaking proper will help us belong somewhere that has never made us feel welcome even with our mouths closed.

After the visit we get a free MetroCard if we sign out with our Medicaid #. Knowing how we are getting back home is the only good thing about seeing the therapist. It’s the least they can do after not believing us when we said everything hurt but we couldn’t really explain where or how because what we mean is we have all this pain and nowhere left to put it so sometimes it travels our bodies and other times we have to let it loose if someone stares at us long enough to see how scared we really are even of our own brilliance.

She doesn’t move, like a beautifully carved pregnant statue. I think all women have that talent. To make pain look like art.

I let him in ’cause they say if a thief tries to take something from you let him have it unless you want to die.

THINGS WE DON’T TALK ABOUT PUERTO RICAN HISTORY At home there are no history lessons on Puerto Rico. We don’t sing the national anthem around the table. We don’t talk about being Puerto Rican. We just live it. You know? We just eat Puerto Rican We just drink Puerto Rican We just dance Puerto Rican We just sing Puerto Rican We just pray Puerto Rican We just fight Puerto Rican We just cry Puerto Rican We just laugh Puerto Rican We just dress Puerto Rican We just suffer Puerto Rican & we love Puerto Rican too.

Mami says she is una mujer sola as if her loneliness is her greatest accomplishment. I don’t understand it but sometimes I’m proud of her. How brave to not need anything but hope.

Today, I am a troublemaker. A malcriada. My father’s hands. An angry bitch. I give my mouth permission to be as dangerous as my neighborhood. She matches my energy. High school teachers be acting like they want smoke.

& I think I learned something new today. I think she means that jails are someone’s investments but I don’t know if that means someone thinks we’re worth something or nothing at all.

I don’t know why we get in trouble for laughing. If they saw how much time we spent crying they would be encouraging our laughter instead. One day our laughter will be revered. Our laughter will have its own holiday & parade. Our laughter will be a mandatory course of study in school. Our laughter will be researched & analyzed by scientists.

We’ll have to tell our children laugh at your own risk & they will. they will. & maybe they do. maybe we do.

Disappearing has to happen alone in order for it to matter. In order for it to matter, people have to wonder and worry about where you could be. Knowing you matter is the best part about disappearing. The worst part is not being around to hear just how much.

Maybe no one is searching for you because you being gone is not enough evidence that you were indeed missing. You so loud so the police are sure we will find you. Crying wolf. Crying.

Worst like everybody in our hood is Puerto Rican but ain’t no Puerto Ricans in our history books! Worst like is history tryna tell us we don’t have stories, or that we don’t have stories worth telling? Worst like we belong to a missing people or something. Worst like we know our people not missing ’cause we find them every day. Worst like if I was to go missing, would someone try and find me? Worst like, damn, I hope I never go missing.

In Bushwick it’s hard to be soft when everything is so hard. I don’t know what to say so I keep my promise & say nothin’ at all.

If you paid enough attention to the streets you would know vandalizers are actually called writers and that porquería is actually an art form. Tagging up is the stuff of legacy.

He says nothing and nothing is sometimes saying a lot.

I know you don’t talk to your teachers like this in school —which is to say she doesn’t feel white enough to be respected.

I feel sad I can’t share this moment with Estrella & I feel guilty for being excited about going to Puerto Rico. I make a note to learn the word for having so many feelings at once.

In Brooklyn coloring any wall is grounds to get you arrested. In Aguadilla you get to live inside of your own mural. Suddenly graffiti makes sense to me as something that belongs to us. A rainbow that seeps out of us like some extension of our blood.

I feel terrible for all of the times I felt annoyed to speak in Spanish.

I want to laugh too but I am so angry & so afraid. Angry I didn’t know. Angry there weren’t books in the library about this. Afraid I’ll forget all of this history. Afraid I’ll remember.

Even if in life we live in the shadows, in death we live in the light.

BIRTHDAYS ARE STILL THE WORST DAYS This year my birthday came and went & no one said a word but I’m still here. The one thing I learned in Puerto Rico is that there are worse things than being forgotten. Like being deliberately erased.

ONE DAY CHURCH BOY STARTS ACTING ALL FUNNY like he’s tired of hearing about my problems. It’s not even like I’m asking him to solve them. Boys can’t even listen without feeling like it’s too much work.

How my mouth is an open wound. A pocket that stores the weapon.

I name the baby Hope because Hope is a good name for a girl who will have to grow up believing in herself.

Let's be bookish besties & find me on instagram @bookish.millennial or tiktok @bookishmillennial

Content Warnings

kayladaila's review against another edition

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dark sad fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.5

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bimess_'s review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional funny hopeful informative reflective sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

- This review is for the Spanish edition.

The story of Sarai filled me with dread, hope and longing. Reminded me of my teen years and the girls that surrounded me. It felt close to home and for that, I'm thankful. Remembering pain and learning that you could really make it! (hehehe) can be seen as freedom.

I loved this book and I'll be coming back to it whenever I want to read a certain passage.

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kiyannaloves's review against another edition

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emotional hopeful inspiring reflective fast-paced

Loveable characters? Yes

4.75

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bookdnbusy's review against another edition

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adventurous emotional inspiring reflective fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.0

the only reason i’m giving this four stars it’s because i wanted better for saraí. i wanted her to be everything she said she wanted to be. i wanted her to be better than her mother, and her sister.

but, nonetheless…

i enjoyed this, WAY TOO MUCH! this felt like a love letter to my summers in the city, running down the block yelling after el heladero to give me my vasito de colores so that i could give him his two dollars and walk back to my building already with my mouth turning blue thanks to the helado. a love letter to dreams and the hopes and the aspirations i had as a pre-teen sitting on the danger around the corner, away, but close enough that my mother knew where to send my siblings to find me and my friends. a love letter to a better life… to hope.

this collection of poems does such a great job at driving us through saraí’s story, her pain, and her joy. the hunger and thirst she constantly felt. whether for food, love or understanding. the way it forges the story with lack of dialogue is reminiscent of her diary, and how she truly saw life and experienced it.

it’s also a big mirror to the relationship a lot of hispanic mothers have with their daughters. i found myself tightening my jaw and reminding myself that my mother was but a child, too and that i, as her firstborn, were a product of trial and error. she learned. she rectified, but the damage was done, and estrella paid a different price than her mother’s and saraí paid the price because estrella had been the first.

honestly, this is so good and i will be picking this up whenever i feel nostalgic for more. for saraí. for estrella. for mami, and tío richie. I LOVED THIS!

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starrysteph's review against another edition

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adventurous challenging dark emotional funny hopeful inspiring sad tense fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

An energizing explosion of heart & spirit, with characters that speak earnestly and directly with a yearning that is incredibly affecting.

We’re following Sarai, a Puerto Rican teenager living in Bushwick. She shares her hopes, she questions her identity, she agonizes over her familial pain & trauma, and she wonders about the future of her neighborhood and community. Sarai’s personality bursts from the page as she shares her quietest thoughts and her loudest dreams, all in verse.

This book covers tough subjects as Sarai faces all sorts of challenges: familial trauma, abuse, sexual assault, drug use & overdosing, teenage pregnancy, sexism & objectification of young women, ignorance & privilege, gentrification, and much more.

The writing and voice is distinctive and connected and powerful. I was captivated by Sarai and hopeful for her and heartbroken for her.

I found the ending to be a little bit crushing; the very last piece was too quick of a wrap up and some threads didn’t come together in the way I had hoped they would. I would have preferred getting maybe one more year of Sarai’s life and expanding on the conclusion.

CW: death (including child death), drugs & drug overdose, pregnancy, sexual assault (of a child), child abuse, mental illness, sexism, fatphobia, body shaming, ableism, domestic abuse, miscarriage, police brutality, gun violence, addiction, racism, toxic relationship, religious bigotry, psychosis, classism

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tuma's review against another edition

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hopeful inspiring fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? No
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? N/A
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5

Powerful poetry. Tons heart striking lines that I had to underline and tag. Super relatable to me as a fellow New York who grew up in the Bronx without my family having a ton of money. We didn't struggle as much as Sarai's family but I definitely understand the preoccupation with "making it". Trying to get out of the hood. But as I got older and went to college, I learned like Sarai, that "making it" doesn't always mean leaving. You can make it simply by completely accepting yourself as you are and living your best life whatever that means for you.

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antonique_reads's review against another edition

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challenging emotional inspiring reflective tense fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? N/A
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

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