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logikitty's review against another edition
dark
emotional
sad
tense
fast-paced
4.0
2022 review, ⭐⭐⭐⭐
Coming back to this again, I still enjoy the story, and I remembered parts of it so I was looking at it with a new lens. The way that complex grief is depicted felt real and raw, but I do have to admit that the MC's recklessness and hurting others in her grieving process was bordering on unbearable. I get she's 17 and grieving but her actions were so absurd and harmful. In the end, I'm just so sorry for Milo, who had to take the brunt of her teenage angst without her ever truly thanking him or apologizing.
2019 review, ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
I think this book was really when Courtney Summers became an amazing writer. I wasn't impressed by her first 2 books by any means - they were actually quite painful to get through with less than likeable characters who frankly annoyed the fuck out of me. I did think that Cracked Up To Be did a better job than Some Girls Are, but only for the fact that it seemed like Summers could have possibly been making a statement about 1) the perception girls/women have about being inherently flawed (engrained and perpetuated by society) and 2) about the pervasiveness of the acts of violence against women that cause cycles of trauma and mental health problems.
In this book, Summers keeps along her theme of talking about mental illness and has us following Eddie whose father has committed suicide with seemingly no reason for having done so (a common ideology for people looking in on the life of someone whose mentally ill from the outside). Eddie, Milo, Beth, Culler, and Robyn all experience their grief in different ways, and Summers depicts this in such a provoking and profound way (I was in awe the whole book through).
Eddie, of course, becomes obsessed with knowing and understanding why her father made this choice. She wants, more than anything, for there to be more than the "nothing" explanation she got from the things he left over in his studio and the note he left in his office. Eddie is constantly bombarded by other people's opinions about how she should act, how she should grieve, and why her father killed himself. I love that she thinks it's such bullshit when people give empty condolences rather than speaks the truth about how death hurts and SUCKS. How it can leave you so empty and unable to function. She accepts and acknowledges her own pain, but can't seem to let go of the chasm her father left.
Which leads to Culler - a man equally obsessed with knowing and understanding Seth but tries to heal Eddie's grief as a remedy for his own. I was incredibly frustrated and upset at his actions which are only SORT OF understandable because people will do anything to help others hurt less. I can't believe he left her at the motel with no explanation, and I can't believe all he had to tell her was that he wrote the messages and that he was sorry. I wish she had had the energy to fight him and tell him that the manipulation of her feelings to make him feel better (him THINKING he was helping her) was the worst kind of thing anyone can do to someone who is hurting so deeply. I should have been suspicious of his intentions the way Milo was, connected the title of the book (cause, duh now!), and believe that him understanding her so thoroughly and completely was too good to be true.
Milo's pain was more because he was afraid that he had lost the two people who had loved and cared about him. To recount a night where his best friend lost her father (and a figure that was so crucial in his life) and the possibility of losing his best friend too was too much to bear. To have to tell the tale again...I wished that Eddie wouldn't have pushed him so hard about it, but he also shouldn't have made it such a big deal about not telling her. But who can be super honest in these situations...
Beth was a lot like Culler in that her frenzied mania for fixing Robyn and Eddie was her way of coping. She kept saying that Seth's actions were such a waste, yet she still was holding the pain as if she missed him equally as much. It was only a waste because they lost incredible talent to mental illness - and honestly, half the time, I don't think she really meant it. I think the backlash is just a way to cope.
And Robyn. The hopelessness was so difficult for her to bear... I'm surprised she even made it out of that housecoat by the end of the novel. I think Beth trying to help her was good - and I kind of wish that Eddie hadn't given her such a hard time. Running away and all that...Oof.
Overall, what an amazing book. I thoroughly enjoyed it, and I can't wait for the last book of hers that I haven't read to come in from being on hold. I expect it to be as good as all her later works.
Coming back to this again, I still enjoy the story, and I remembered parts of it so I was looking at it with a new lens. The way that complex grief is depicted felt real and raw, but I do have to admit that the MC's recklessness and hurting others in her grieving process was bordering on unbearable. I get she's 17 and grieving but her actions were so absurd and harmful. In the end, I'm just so sorry for Milo, who had to take the brunt of her teenage angst without her ever truly thanking him or apologizing.
2019 review, ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
I think this book was really when Courtney Summers became an amazing writer. I wasn't impressed by her first 2 books by any means - they were actually quite painful to get through with less than likeable characters who frankly annoyed the fuck out of me. I did think that Cracked Up To Be did a better job than Some Girls Are, but only for the fact that it seemed like Summers could have possibly been making a statement about 1) the perception girls/women have about being inherently flawed (engrained and perpetuated by society) and 2) about the pervasiveness of the acts of violence against women that cause cycles of trauma and mental health problems.
In this book, Summers keeps along her theme of talking about mental illness and has us following Eddie whose father has committed suicide with seemingly no reason for having done so (a common ideology for people looking in on the life of someone whose mentally ill from the outside). Eddie, Milo, Beth, Culler, and Robyn all experience their grief in different ways, and Summers depicts this in such a provoking and profound way (I was in awe the whole book through).
Eddie, of course, becomes obsessed with knowing and understanding why her father made this choice. She wants, more than anything, for there to be more than the "nothing" explanation she got from the things he left over in his studio and the note he left in his office. Eddie is constantly bombarded by other people's opinions about how she should act, how she should grieve, and why her father killed himself. I love that she thinks it's such bullshit when people give empty condolences rather than speaks the truth about how death hurts and SUCKS. How it can leave you so empty and unable to function. She accepts and acknowledges her own pain, but can't seem to let go of the chasm her father left.
Which leads to Culler - a man equally obsessed with knowing and understanding Seth but tries to heal Eddie's grief as a remedy for his own. I was incredibly frustrated and upset at his actions which are only SORT OF understandable because people will do anything to help others hurt less. I can't believe he left her at the motel with no explanation, and I can't believe all he had to tell her was that he wrote the messages and that he was sorry. I wish she had had the energy to fight him and tell him that the manipulation of her feelings to make him feel better (him THINKING he was helping her) was the worst kind of thing anyone can do to someone who is hurting so deeply. I should have been suspicious of his intentions the way Milo was, connected the title of the book (cause, duh now!), and believe that him understanding her so thoroughly and completely was too good to be true.
Milo's pain was more because he was afraid that he had lost the two people who had loved and cared about him. To recount a night where his best friend lost her father (and a figure that was so crucial in his life) and the possibility of losing his best friend too was too much to bear. To have to tell the tale again...I wished that Eddie wouldn't have pushed him so hard about it, but he also shouldn't have made it such a big deal about not telling her. But who can be super honest in these situations...
Beth was a lot like Culler in that her frenzied mania for fixing Robyn and Eddie was her way of coping. She kept saying that Seth's actions were such a waste, yet she still was holding the pain as if she missed him equally as much. It was only a waste because they lost incredible talent to mental illness - and honestly, half the time, I don't think she really meant it. I think the backlash is just a way to cope.
And Robyn. The hopelessness was so difficult for her to bear... I'm surprised she even made it out of that housecoat by the end of the novel. I think Beth trying to help her was good - and I kind of wish that Eddie hadn't given her such a hard time. Running away and all that...Oof.
Overall, what an amazing book. I thoroughly enjoyed it, and I can't wait for the last book of hers that I haven't read to come in from being on hold. I expect it to be as good as all her later works.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death of parent, Suicide, Suicidal thoughts, Mental illness, and Grief
Moderate: Adult/minor relationship, Toxic friendship, Sexual content, and Abandonment
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