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laureenreads's review
5.0
Holy shit, this book was life-changing for me. Like, it's already starting to affect how I discuss my emotions. Stating when I feel invalidated, trying to get in touch with those inner mes, and seriously thinking about therapy once again.
When I first started reading this book, I started crying. Literal tears streaming down my cheeks, ugly sobbing. I'm pretty sure there were some snot bubbles all anime style in there somewhere. Why? Because this book, her journey, was describing my fucking life. The highs and lows, the need for approval. Drugs were never my impulse, but spending, naughty texts, self-harming and a variety of other self-destructive behaviours were, and in many ways still are.
Recovery seems to be two steps forward, one step back, and Kiera Van Gelder shows that in this breathtaking memoir. Despite all the learning, the advancing, she struggled still with the BPD emotional mind. She speaks openly about her self-harming behaviour, her sexuality, the spending, the addiction, the way another person could completely take over her personality, and believe me, I understood and felt every word as though I were reading my own story.
The best part is, though, that this memoir gives me hope. Despite recovery being an ever-changing and fluctuating process, it is something that can be achieved. Being open, frank, and sharing her demons, I was able to start to heal some within myself. To find the words I needed to hear and to speak.
If you have BPD, if someone you knows has BPD, please, please read this book. It is well worth the read.
When I first started reading this book, I started crying. Literal tears streaming down my cheeks, ugly sobbing. I'm pretty sure there were some snot bubbles all anime style in there somewhere. Why? Because this book, her journey, was describing my fucking life. The highs and lows, the need for approval. Drugs were never my impulse, but spending, naughty texts, self-harming and a variety of other self-destructive behaviours were, and in many ways still are.
Recovery seems to be two steps forward, one step back, and Kiera Van Gelder shows that in this breathtaking memoir. Despite all the learning, the advancing, she struggled still with the BPD emotional mind. She speaks openly about her self-harming behaviour, her sexuality, the spending, the addiction, the way another person could completely take over her personality, and believe me, I understood and felt every word as though I were reading my own story.
The best part is, though, that this memoir gives me hope. Despite recovery being an ever-changing and fluctuating process, it is something that can be achieved. Being open, frank, and sharing her demons, I was able to start to heal some within myself. To find the words I needed to hear and to speak.
If you have BPD, if someone you knows has BPD, please, please read this book. It is well worth the read.
stephaniexpink's review
3.0
3 stars: informative and aids to dismantle the stigma surrounding BPD. i know that this isn’t such a problem anymore, but there was a time in which a diagnosis of BPD had completely different connotations. I think it’s poignant of the author to be so vulnerable about her diagnosis during a time period where understanding was so little or exclusive. but, nevertheless, the author seemed to be very privileged in getting a lot of this understanding that I assumed would of been lesser available to others at that time. I don’t think this book will be transferable to all, not everyone has access to the same support and/or opportunities, but it would be unfair to discredit the author’s growth from feeling completely out of control with her thoughts and feelings to then having gross insight on why she feels that way and how to dissect it-which is admirable. there’s a lot of information on DBT which I think is pretty helpful, but this book goes less into Buddhism than the title suggests. which I didn’t mind. i did go into this with the presumption that BPD would be the focal point as that was the main part I was interested in. but this might not be the case for everyone.
overall it was good; there will be a lot of the author’s experiences that might resonate if you struggle with BPD. some media romanticise it whilst others demonise it, so it’s hard to find a middle ground which shows a more accurate portrayal.
overall it was good; there will be a lot of the author’s experiences that might resonate if you struggle with BPD. some media romanticise it whilst others demonise it, so it’s hard to find a middle ground which shows a more accurate portrayal.
ellejcole's review
challenging
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
medium-paced
5.0
shimauchiha's review
4.0
Read this if:
-You or someone you know has been diagnosed with Borderline personality disorder.
-You want to work in health care in general, and psychology in particular.
-You have an interest in what living with psychological disorders can be like.
Do not read this if:
-You are triggered by sexual abuse, self-harm and suicide.
My thoughts:
This is an extremely well-written, touching and visceral account of the author's life with Borderline personality disorder. Personality disorders in general and Borderline in particular are among the most stigmatised and least understood mental health issues. We as a society can do so much better in educating ourselves around it.
Kiera does a fantastic job of describing what it's like to live with Bordeline, while also occasionally bringing in what the science says about it. You get to go with her on a journey through some of her hardest moments before and after receiving a diagnosis as well as trying to find and get the correct treatment.
It's a confronting book at times, but there is also a lot of humour and character that comes through Kiera's writing. I cannot talk about the authenticity of the book in terms of living with a personality disorder, but as a reader, it feels honest.
-You or someone you know has been diagnosed with Borderline personality disorder.
-You want to work in health care in general, and psychology in particular.
-You have an interest in what living with psychological disorders can be like.
Do not read this if:
-You are triggered by
My thoughts:
This is an extremely well-written, touching and visceral account of the author's life with Borderline personality disorder. Personality disorders in general and Borderline in particular are among the most stigmatised and least understood mental health issues. We as a society can do so much better in educating ourselves around it.
Kiera does a fantastic job of describing what it's like to live with Bordeline, while also occasionally bringing in what the science says about it. You get to go with her on a journey through some of her hardest moments before and after receiving a diagnosis as well as trying to find and get the correct treatment.
It's a confronting book at times, but there is also a lot of humour and character that comes through Kiera's writing. I cannot talk about the authenticity of the book in terms of living with a personality disorder, but as a reader, it feels honest.
hipbea's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
slow-paced
4.0
jecinwv's review
4.0
Reading these days has been a chore and I think writing reviews have become too. But, I loved this book. I hope to write a better review at another time.
wannabekingpin's review
4.0
all reviews in one place:
night mode reading ;
skaitom nakties rezimu
About the Book: Tale begins with a very graphic description of self harm, followed by borderline personality disorder (BPD) description, symptoms. It’s a rough and unpleasant start, dark and clammy glimpse into extreme end of emotional regulation lack, and how it takes people affected by it for a ride, leaving them with little to no control. Resources are vital, for them first and foremost, and for those around them too. And yet, they were scarce, and they remain scarce… In this book, once author has the luck to get the diagnosis, she tells us exactly of all that and more, the miniscule steps in attempted self-regulation, the pain and suffering, the stigma and disbelief. And answers in unlikely places.
My Opinion: Terminology and even definitions in this book are already outdated, so if you’re picking this book up, don’t take it as a textbook on borderline personality disorder. Take it as a glimpse into someone affected by it, to understand them better, their needs, and possibly your own role in it, the ability to help. No mental disorder is a one-way street, we all live on this planet, and we all must learn to be kind to one another, and coexist. So while it was unpleasant to read about author who, from my own point of view, someone who can only talk of dysregulation in ADHD terms, treated others unfairly, I do see the value of this work, value to those around the BPD loved ones, friends, family. Yes, it seems almost cruel as she demands more, gives little to nothing in return, and steps over people after having accused them, aiming for her own path towards healing and happiness, seemingly uncaring whose lives she broke in her way. But none of that would’ve likely happened had she gotten the help she needed sooner, or if it was help of better quality.
night mode reading ;
skaitom nakties rezimu
About the Book: Tale begins with a very graphic description of self harm, followed by borderline personality disorder (BPD) description, symptoms. It’s a rough and unpleasant start, dark and clammy glimpse into extreme end of emotional regulation lack, and how it takes people affected by it for a ride, leaving them with little to no control. Resources are vital, for them first and foremost, and for those around them too. And yet, they were scarce, and they remain scarce… In this book, once author has the luck to get the diagnosis, she tells us exactly of all that and more, the miniscule steps in attempted self-regulation, the pain and suffering, the stigma and disbelief. And answers in unlikely places.
My Opinion: Terminology and even definitions in this book are already outdated, so if you’re picking this book up, don’t take it as a textbook on borderline personality disorder. Take it as a glimpse into someone affected by it, to understand them better, their needs, and possibly your own role in it, the ability to help. No mental disorder is a one-way street, we all live on this planet, and we all must learn to be kind to one another, and coexist. So while it was unpleasant to read about author who, from my own point of view, someone who can only talk of dysregulation in ADHD terms, treated others unfairly, I do see the value of this work, value to those around the BPD loved ones, friends, family. Yes, it seems almost cruel as she demands more, gives little to nothing in return, and steps over people after having accused them, aiming for her own path towards healing and happiness, seemingly uncaring whose lives she broke in her way. But none of that would’ve likely happened had she gotten the help she needed sooner, or if it was help of better quality.
meghan111's review
3.0
Very readable memoir of mental illness, although in parts the author uses a bit much of the particular vernacular of mental illness. But interesting in the ongoing struggle to define what borderline personality disorder means. Buddhism and its uses in dialectical/cognitive behavior therapy are likewise interesting.