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Reviews tagging 'Domestic abuse'
Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin
297 reviews
bethantg's review against another edition
adventurous
inspiring
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
3.0
I have such massively mixed feelings about this book. I really enjoyed the unique premise and the focus on video games, the discussion of disability/chronic illness and, for the most part, the writing. I say "for the most part" because I really did like the writing, the only thing that grated on me was the repetitive "x said, x said, x said," that sometimes occurred, but I should say that I listened to this as an audiobook, so maybe it's not as jarring when you're reading. Other than that, I do have some major gripes.
Firstly, I haven't read many reviews of this book so I don't know whether this is just a me thing or not, but the "women written by men" vibe was so strong that I was genuinely surprised when I double checked the author. Sam is pretty consistently a character that you can empathise with, and Sadie just is not. Her backstory is so poorly fleshed out and she has literally no arc. She literally just goes through a chain of boyfriends and gets depressed — worse because her depression is almost entirely witnessed from the outside, either just as absence or as her being rude to Sam. In contrast, Sam is almost always kind, is presented as just as overall skilled as Sadie, and is actually given his own perspective and thought processes, where Sadie is massively lacking. Trying to think of a part in the book where Sadie's thought process behind her behaviour is detailed, I can only think of very early on in the book when she wants to appear cool and calm during her first breakup. Which is crazy, she's literally meant to be one of the main characters. The other female characters are worse, which is semi-excusable on account of them being side characters, but also not at all considering how much comparable insight we get into male side characters like Ant, Dong Hyun, and even Marx (who obviously blurs the main/side character roles). Like Ant talks about very difficult, complex feelingssurrounding his guilt following the shooting and even just his mention of his complicated feelings about Simon and then there's Zoe. Zoe — who should be given more attention than Ant, given that she's Marx's girlfriend and supposedly Sadie's best friend (another issue) – is presented as a musical genius (who rarely talks about music) who is regularly nude. Just as much time is spent on that latter part as the first. She honestly only seems to exist as a reason for Marx and Sadie to not be together for a bit, to get the characters to move to California, and then to serve as a catalyst for Marx and Sadie to get together (which Sadie expresses no inkling of any mixed feelings about entering a relationship with the ex-boyfriend of the girl who was supposedly her best friend. Probably because they don't have an actually friendship, the author just says via Sadie that they're best friends, because that works I guess). Lola? Immediately irrelevant. The only relationships that are actually given attention are those involving men. Sadie and Sam, Sadie and Marx, Sadie and Dov. Sadie and Zoe? One or two scenes about miscellaneous activities together with no emotional depth. Sadie's roommate before Ichigo? Not even sure she gets a name. Sadie's grandma? Vaguely prominent at the start of the book, then just occasionally mentioned. Sadie's sister who she is originally introduced as being incredibly attached to? Forgotten for the majority of the book until she's vaguely mentioned at the end.
So it's a book mainly dominated by men's thoughts and feelings to the neglect of women's, which is cool for a book that wants to deal with sexism. As a result, Sam and Sadie's relationship, supposed to be this great portrayal of friendship persevering through age and trauma, just seems like Sadie causing problems and Sam being nice to her because ultimately he has romantic feelings for her. Made worse because even right at the end of the book,Sam asks why him and Sadie never pursued a relationship and once again it is Sadie who shuts him down, and Sam doesn't actually explicitly accept this, so it comes off like he still has feelings for her, which ruins the whole narrative that was given by Sadie and at other points in the book of "this is such a special relationship that it goes beyond romantic." In fact, the whole way through Sam expresses wanting a relationship, but it is people around Sam who prevent him having one, like Dong Hyun telling him he doesn't need that kind of relationship when he's literally just said he wants one. It's just strange, and gives the feeling of an incomplete explanation. If he had never had a relationship, that would have been fine, but it's the fact that he wants one but for multiple reasons is told no, which feels like the author telling him no more than anything. I can't help thinking this is also worse because Sam is the only character with a physical disability, and of course it's kind of a trope that physically disabled characters in media are presented as undesirable or asexual. And this isn't negated by the (once again unresolved) discussion of Sam's feelings around disability. He talks about not feeling disabled, about just having "a thing with his foot" and even about the social construction of disability, which as I mentioned at the start was something I really liked hearing discussed in a first-hand account. Unfortunately once again, right at the end Sam mentions feeling undesirable as a result of being disabled, and this is just brushed off. Disability, like sexism, toxic relationships and depression, is a topic that's picked up, a few interesting lines are said about it, and then it's dropped.
These incomplete discussions and Sadie's often absent perspective are a major part of what makes the characters feel incomplete — and therefore makes the story feel unsatisfying — to me. But what exacerbates that many times over is when the author just pops in an anachronistic rant. Yes it's the cultural appropriation thing. It happened pretty early on in the book but it was just stupid. Sam, who has mixed American, Jewish and Korean heritage, and Sadie, who is a Jewish American, make a game that is heavily inspired by Japanese culture and has Japanese characters. When questioned about cultural appropriation, Sam goes on quite a rant that makes interesting points, but has several issues with it — mainly the fact that it's not Sam saying it, it's the author. Marx, whose father is Japanese and who grew up in Japan, produced the game and had some pretty significant contributions to it (like the Japanese language component of Ichigo's name), and he is not mentioned. This is because Marx exists in the story, not the real world, and this is a real world argument being shoehorned into the story. It's also entirely unchallenged, and dropped right there. Also, in the final conversation of the book, Sadie says that had they made Ichigo then, almost twenty years after they did, they would have worried about cultural appropriation and not have made it. So Sam being questioned about this at the time is very clearly an anachronism, because it's even referenced here by Sadie that this wasn't a concern in that era (sometime in the 90s I believe). It's literally an admission that this just exists as a moment for the author to say their piece. Of course, she absolutely has the right to say this piece, but the in a work of fiction where it makes no sense for the time, not really. As I say, interesting points are made — Sam talks about how he doesn't feel connected to a single part of his heritage, but that he wouldn't have been called out for making a game inspired by it. But it's just a throwaway line that gets no development into a proper discussion whatsoever, and that's massively disappointing.
I would also say that this reads less like a story about friends and more about a story about two people relentlessly forced together by circumstance.From the moment that Sadie has that whole revelation with the Dead Sea disk that changes her entire view of Sam, they don't seem like friends at all. And the bit where it's implied that she would've preferred him to die rather than Marx, and the line that her apology "lacked the conviction of the attack" (great line btw)? Sam pack it up buddy she does not care about you.
Maybe these complaints I have are meant to contribute to the realism of the story. People don't always get satisfying character development or have deep, multifacted conversations about complex topics. People die on days like any other, and friendships are complicated. However, just as the characters discuss the perfected worlds of video games, where nonsensical things don't happen, so is the perfected nature of books, where characters and themes don't just get picked up and put down at whim.
Firstly, I haven't read many reviews of this book so I don't know whether this is just a me thing or not, but the "women written by men" vibe was so strong that I was genuinely surprised when I double checked the author. Sam is pretty consistently a character that you can empathise with, and Sadie just is not. Her backstory is so poorly fleshed out and she has literally no arc. She literally just goes through a chain of boyfriends and gets depressed — worse because her depression is almost entirely witnessed from the outside, either just as absence or as her being rude to Sam. In contrast, Sam is almost always kind, is presented as just as overall skilled as Sadie, and is actually given his own perspective and thought processes, where Sadie is massively lacking. Trying to think of a part in the book where Sadie's thought process behind her behaviour is detailed, I can only think of very early on in the book when she wants to appear cool and calm during her first breakup. Which is crazy, she's literally meant to be one of the main characters. The other female characters are worse, which is semi-excusable on account of them being side characters, but also not at all considering how much comparable insight we get into male side characters like Ant, Dong Hyun, and even Marx (who obviously blurs the main/side character roles). Like Ant talks about very difficult, complex feelings
So it's a book mainly dominated by men's thoughts and feelings to the neglect of women's, which is cool for a book that wants to deal with sexism. As a result, Sam and Sadie's relationship, supposed to be this great portrayal of friendship persevering through age and trauma, just seems like Sadie causing problems and Sam being nice to her because ultimately he has romantic feelings for her. Made worse because even right at the end of the book,
These incomplete discussions and Sadie's often absent perspective are a major part of what makes the characters feel incomplete — and therefore makes the story feel unsatisfying — to me. But what exacerbates that many times over is when the author just pops in an anachronistic rant. Yes it's the cultural appropriation thing. It happened pretty early on in the book but it was just stupid. Sam, who has mixed American, Jewish and Korean heritage, and Sadie, who is a Jewish American, make a game that is heavily inspired by Japanese culture and has Japanese characters. When questioned about cultural appropriation, Sam goes on quite a rant that makes interesting points, but has several issues with it — mainly the fact that it's not Sam saying it, it's the author. Marx, whose father is Japanese and who grew up in Japan, produced the game and had some pretty significant contributions to it (like the Japanese language component of Ichigo's name), and he is not mentioned. This is because Marx exists in the story, not the real world, and this is a real world argument being shoehorned into the story. It's also entirely unchallenged, and dropped right there. Also, in the final conversation of the book, Sadie says that had they made Ichigo then, almost twenty years after they did, they would have worried about cultural appropriation and not have made it. So Sam being questioned about this at the time is very clearly an anachronism, because it's even referenced here by Sadie that this wasn't a concern in that era (sometime in the 90s I believe). It's literally an admission that this just exists as a moment for the author to say their piece. Of course, she absolutely has the right to say this piece, but the in a work of fiction where it makes no sense for the time, not really. As I say, interesting points are made — Sam talks about how he doesn't feel connected to a single part of his heritage, but that he wouldn't have been called out for making a game inspired by it. But it's just a throwaway line that gets no development into a proper discussion whatsoever, and that's massively disappointing.
I would also say that this reads less like a story about friends and more about a story about two people relentlessly forced together by circumstance.
Maybe these complaints I have are meant to contribute to the realism of the story. People don't always get satisfying character development or have deep, multifacted conversations about complex topics. People die on days like any other, and friendships are complicated. However, just as the characters discuss the perfected worlds of video games, where nonsensical things don't happen, so is the perfected nature of books, where characters and themes don't just get picked up and put down at whim.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Hate crime, Suicide, Medical content, and Gun violence
Moderate: Domestic abuse, Racism, and Sexism
Minor: Drug use, Cultural appropriation, and Cancer
chill1996's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Medical trauma, Grief, Medical content, Chronic illness, and Death of parent
Moderate: Panic attacks/disorders, Pregnancy, Domestic abuse, and Murder
Minor: Abortion
bbmaan's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Terminal illness, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Rape, Violence, Cancer, Death of parent, Mass/school shootings, Murder, Sexual harassment, Adult/minor relationship, Blood, Chronic illness, Confinement, Antisemitism, Racial slurs, Sexism, Toxic relationship, Alcohol, Cursing, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Abortion, Grief, Gun violence, Hate crime, Injury/Injury detail, Physical abuse, Racism, Pregnancy, Toxic friendship, Gaslighting, Mental illness, Misogyny, Car accident, Death, Drug use, and Homophobia
auniverseinside's review against another edition
emotional
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Content Warnings
Moderate: Animal death, Cancer, Death of parent, Domestic abuse, Vomit, Mental illness, Pregnancy, Suicidal thoughts, Toxic relationship, Abortion, Car accident, Mass/school shootings, Death, Chronic illness, Emotional abuse, and Grief
jzargo_thebird's review against another edition
emotional
lighthearted
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
I'm giving this book a reluctant five stars simply beucase I absolutely adore it despite its noticeable flaws. It was written so well, it's feels so good to read like I'm drinking warm soup. The vibes were extremely comforting and rich. Forgiving some unsatisfactory things like lacking plot (which is super ture to life) but in a way where I didn't feel as engaged around the 50-60% as well as the romantic relationships feeling rather weak and shallow and at one point including straight up physical and sexual abuse and the guy who did it is just chilling around for the whole book and they mention it for a couple one-off jokes. But despite those few things, this story is just so admirable and charming, yet terribly heart aching and depressing, all while being uplifting and comforting, as well as Introspective and transforming. Long story short, I fucking loved this book. And I want to play some games.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Racial slurs, Cursing, Death, Domestic abuse, Injury/Injury detail, Toxic relationship, Drug use, Car accident, Gun violence, Blood, Vomit, Suicide, Mass/school shootings, and Medical content
seubecca's review against another edition
dark
emotional
inspiring
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Pregnancy, Car accident, Grief, Blood, Chronic illness, Gun violence, Medical content, Medical trauma, Cancer, Death, Homophobia, Toxic relationship, Classism, Death of parent, and Injury/Injury detail
Moderate: Cursing, Violence, Panic attacks/disorders, Racism, Sexual content, Vomit, and Domestic abuse
Minor: Abortion, Eating disorder, and Racial slurs
lambclown's review against another edition
adventurous
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
Content Warnings
Graphic: Car accident, Death of parent, Emotional abuse, Gun violence, Medical trauma, Toxic relationship, and Suicide
Moderate: Domestic abuse, Abortion, Gaslighting, and Injury/Injury detail
Minor: Cancer and Pregnancy
spencerthedemonbarber's review against another edition
dark
emotional
hopeful
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Emotional abuse, Body shaming, Sexual harassment, Gun violence, Violence, Suicide attempt, Toxic friendship, Sexism, Self harm, Suicide, Domestic abuse, Grief, Chronic illness, Gaslighting, Drug abuse, Death, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Sexual assault, Panic attacks/disorders, Toxic relationship, Mental illness, and Vomit
vitasf's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
sad
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
4.25
I totally understand why this book has so much hype. The characters are so interesting, as are their journeys. It was wonderful to watch them all grow up. However, the subplots relating to the professor particularly, the abuse felt uncomfortable. Yes, books should push limits of comfort, but it felt almost needless. Their relationship could have been tumultuous and toxic without the graphics of the handcuffs. The power imbalance alone is scarring and could have impacted Sadie enough throughout her life. The DV and the way everyone wanted her in the college days felt almost exploitative. Perhaps it was a testament to what it was like to be a young beautiful woman in the 1990s—a different time. Sadie’s relationships felt complex, as were all of the relationships in the book. Sam was lovable, though flawed, and it was a treat to see inside his mind as he navigated how the relationships ebbed and flowed.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Gun violence
Moderate: Domestic abuse, Medical trauma, Panic attacks/disorders, Sexual violence, and Pregnancy
blastoise's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Suicide
Moderate: Racism, Emotional abuse, Sexual violence, Homophobia, Mass/school shootings, and Domestic abuse