Reviews with content warning for Dysphoria - Both Can Be True

Reviews tagging 'Dysphoria'

Both Can Be True by Jules Machias

9 reviews

c_dmckinney's review

challenging emotional hopeful sad tense fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.75

The only reason I am not giving this a five star rating is because I absolutely hated how the original owner of Chewbarka was made out to be cruel for taking a senior dog with a deteriorating quality of life and fairly involved special needs to be put to sleep. He was wrong for lying to his family about what happened to Chewbarka, but I have a lot of sympathy for someone who cannot for whatever reason provide the right kind of ongoing care to an aging dog. Euthanasia is not always cruel or wrong.

That said this book was absolutely beautiful and I wish everyone with queer young people in their lives would read it. Honestly I would recommend it to everyone, maybe especially people who don't have (or don't think they have any) genderqueer people in their lives.

I found the author's exploration of understanding one's gender and gender roles very considerate and sincere. It was raw and tender and not too neat. It was compassionate to a perspective that I have never previously seen explored well at all much less in middle grade fiction.

This was a very sweet young romance set in the backdrop of the trials and tribulations of middle school where identity and fitting in is perhaps the hardest in any young person's life.

Also this is somewhat unrelated but I can tell the author spends A LOT of time in various online communities. There's a lot of language that is definitely not used offline. I found it terribly endearing, but that is because I also use online lingo offline sometimes.

Content Warnings

blackberryjambaby's review against another edition

Go to review page

adventurous emotional funny hopeful reflective sad slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

3.5

Content Warnings

james1star's review against another edition

Go to review page

adventurous emotional funny hopeful inspiring lighthearted medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.0

In ‘Both Can Be True’ we follow the dual-POVs of Ash who is struggling to come to terms with their gender identity, and Daniel who’s more emotional then his fellow middle-schoolers. I guess the central plot is how Daniel is put in the predicament of caring for an adorable old Pomeranian Chewbarka and how he can’t tell anyone of her whereabouts without dire consequences, and to his aid comes Ash who’s roped in on saving the aforementioned ’doofy floof’ too. But outside of this storyline, Machias lets these characters try to deal with their ‘flaws’ in a world where there’s a gender binary of girl or boy and one that shames male-presenting people for showing emotion. I loved how this book can act as a way to tell those struggling with similar questions (and the family, friends, educators, etc of them) and to see themselves represented. To further this, I found the representation across queer and racial lines to be great with a very diverse and inclusive cast of characters. They’re all pretty much likeable too, albeit with nuance, with Ash and Daniel being great MCs to follow along with, both so kind and real. I did really like this and I was for sure being pulled forward by the character interactions (the plot too but less so) and just very happy the messages or discussions are taking place in a book aimed at a middle grade audience - there’s topics like bullying and trans(umbrella)phobia which I think was again handed with nuance in an age-appropriate manner.

I did find the discourse on the use of labels to maybe lack the nuance it deserves. There are a couple of times where labelling someone or thinking about it is negated as unnecessary, mostly by Ash. I totally understand for them it was something they battled with, finding certain labels to be confining and not allowing for their true identity to express freely. And likewise, for many labels can cause harm. BUT (a big one, yes) labels can be really helpful and important for some people too - Ash’s longtime best friend Griffey does feel comfort and pride in being gay and I felt he added some nuance, but overall I got the sense there was more of an anti-label stance being put forward by Ash… and Machias too. Another problem I thought could’ve been questioned a bit more was maybe the reasoning for Daniel’s ‘over-emotional’ tendencies - I’m not saying it’s not ‘normal’ (whatever that means) to show emotions but from personal experience I feel there’s possibly something else going on with his mental health, such as the breakdown of his parent’s marriage for starters but others too. It’s definitely possible he is ‘fine’ but just so happens to be more in tune with his emotions and letting them be expressed but it’s a question not asked where it could’ve been useful to do so. Last negative point was that I felt some parts dragged and were rehashing the same thoughts/messages over and over which could’ve been omitted.

Overall, I would still really recommend this book and it was an enjoyable read. The fact anything like this explicitly exploring gender identity, gendered stereotypes and more aimed at children is being published is really great. I hope people can find this and see themselves represented so thank you Jules for writing this. I mean read this quote that perfectly summarises the cusp this book is trying to tell readers:

‘Really, nothing about how it feels to be alive is strictly a one-or-the-other game: happy or sad, scared or mad, hopeful or despairing. Introvert or extrovert. Boy or girl. Kid or teenager. There's a little of each one in its opposite, and that's what makes life so complex and interesting. More painful, yeah, but also... richer. More real.’

P.S. Chewbarka is just the cutest ever like wow! ADORABLE!!

Content Warnings

careinthelibrary's review against another edition

Go to review page

emotional hopeful medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes

4.0

Content Warnings

jaredt's review against another edition

Go to review page

adventurous hopeful inspiring reflective medium-paced

Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes

4.0

"...You gotta use your grief or your anger or whatever to make things better. Got me?"

The cover signaled to me, so I picked it up to give it a go. I was very pleased with it. This story has well rounded characters, believable and engaging both with the kids and the adults.

I loved the dynamic between Ash and Daniel. Ash's own internal struggle with not just their own gender, but others who weren't quite lined up with the binary expectations was a neat struggle. I also loved that Ash also has synthesia, and how that shapes how Ash reads and interacts with the world.

Daniel is also a wonderful kid, and I loved the focus of his emotional journey, between his own sense of self worth and trying to juggle the expectations of his family.

Ash's mom is my favorite adult, and I really like how Tina's character is handled as well.

Overall, this was a sweet book, with nice introspection and dialogue between all the different characters (except Ash's dad I hate him). It does a good job at building the tension, and has well put together ending.

Content Warnings

tinytrashqueen's review against another edition

Go to review page

emotional hopeful medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.0

Re: animal death cw

a big part of the plot revolves around a dog saved from euthanasia and whether or not they'll be able to successfully keep it from being found out. The dog does end up ok though! I was stressed not knowing so thought it might be helpful for others.

Content Warnings

greenlivingaudioworm's review

Go to review page

adventurous emotional funny hopeful inspiring lighthearted reflective sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5

Content Warnings

imstephtacular's review against another edition

Go to review page

adventurous emotional hopeful inspiring reflective sad tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.25

Content Warnings

tinyelfarcanist's review against another edition

Go to review page

hopeful inspiring lighthearted medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

A sweet story of the relationship between a synesthetic genderfluid kid (Ash) and a boy (Daniel) who has trouble hiding his feelings and following the gender norm. They're both super cute and I love how they work together in the mission of saving Chewbarka.

Ash is super cool and a role model. I love them.

Daniel is so sweet and devoid of toxic masculinity. We need to teach more of that to our boys.

This is a great book for children and teens as it sheds light on important issues such as:

Trans visibility.

"People don't have a birth gender. We're assigned a birth sex."

I can't ask if he knows what Sam really is. It's the wrongest thing I can ask. It's fully disrespectful. Not to mention "what Sam really is" is a flawed concept to start with, which I totally freaking know, (...)

Sexism.

(...) even though he joked around her once that she'd friendzoned him and she gave him an earful about why that's a sexist concept that needs to die—(...)

"Tears don't mean you're weak," Iris says. "They mean you care real hard about what's right and good. That takes balls."

"Guts," I say. "It takes guts. My mom has no balls and she's a world champ at caring about right and good."

Toxic masculinity.

I don't know why Mitchell's brain works that way, where he transfers all his mad about one thing onto something else. But we'll never talk about it because Mitch isn't a "feelings" dude. I don't think he's aware he has feelings. He just acts on them while pretending he's made of logic.

Discrimination in the LGBT+ community.

It's not like there's a guarantee that just because it's called Rainbow Alliance, they'll be cool. One of the worst bullies at my old school was a super-girly lesbian who insisted that trans women aren't real women and that trans guys are just girls cross-dressing to smash the patriarchy from the inside. Which, no.

Non-binary gender experience.

It's a spectrum, not a binary. You can be both ends at the same time, or neither end. Hang out anywhere you want on the whole glorious continuum. You don't have to look like a guy to be a guy, or a girl to be a girl.

As a gender non-conforming person ever since I can remember and someone who could cry from being glared at, there are some things I had trouble with.

Daniel isn't just a kid who "cares a lot". He's going through a lot in his life and he's clearly depressed (something I learned after going to therapy). I believe men are allowed to show feelings too

and it's great that Daniel meets people who understand him and support him

, but he and his brother need to see a professional and learn how to deal with how they feel.

Content Warnings

More...