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3.98 AVERAGE
3.98 AVERAGE
A masterclass in relationships.
Parts of it are a bit difficult to read, it's not a total breeze.
Tons of really interesting perspectives about relationship dynamics though, I made a lot of takeaways.
Parts of it are a bit difficult to read, it's not a total breeze.
Tons of really interesting perspectives about relationship dynamics though, I made a lot of takeaways.
Fantastic read on relationships - fairly technical with some practical aspects throughout.
I think this is so perfect. The scientific approach makes things so clear cut and easy to understand. I am glad I have the opportunity to read this. The data is presented before Gotman does the interpretation and the implication. Conceptualization for "trust", mind-boggling !
Overall, emotional attunement is the illusive basics for "being there for one's partner whenever he or she is feeling emotional or has a need" XD it is listening non-defensively and empathically in order to understand one's emotion
A= awareness of the emotion
T= turning towards the emotion
T= tolerance of the emotional experience
U= understanding the emotion
N= non-defensive listening to the emotion
E= empathy for the emotion
All emotion has adaptive value - all emotions and all wishes are acceptable, but not all behaviour may be acceptable"
Choosing a relationship is choosing a set of problems. every relationship have a set of problem and a particular person would have a set of problems no matter who they married.
1. LOVE MAPS- ask questions and remember the answer. Importance of repair - all relationships will have times where harm is done.
2. FONDNESS AND ADMIRATION
3. TURNING TOWARDS- being sensitive to emotional cues and seeing bits
4. perpetual issues are caused by fundamental differences of personalities and needs that are fundamental to their core values of self
What is trust?
1. trust that your partner has your best interest
2. trust that your partner will be there when you need them
3. trust that you can depend on your partner in touch times
Overall, emotional attunement is the illusive basics for "being there for one's partner whenever he or she is feeling emotional or has a need" XD it is listening non-defensively and empathically in order to understand one's emotion
A= awareness of the emotion
T= turning towards the emotion
T= tolerance of the emotional experience
U= understanding the emotion
N= non-defensive listening to the emotion
E= empathy for the emotion
All emotion has adaptive value - all emotions and all wishes are acceptable, but not all behaviour may be acceptable"
Choosing a relationship is choosing a set of problems. every relationship have a set of problem and a particular person would have a set of problems no matter who they married.
1. LOVE MAPS- ask questions and remember the answer. Importance of repair - all relationships will have times where harm is done.
2. FONDNESS AND ADMIRATION
3. TURNING TOWARDS- being sensitive to emotional cues and seeing bits
4. perpetual issues are caused by fundamental differences of personalities and needs that are fundamental to their core values of self
What is trust?
1. trust that your partner has your best interest
2. trust that your partner will be there when you need them
3. trust that you can depend on your partner in touch times
I really liked a lot of it, it was just a little clinical in parts (which is fair, because it was written for that).
I enjoy most of the insights, but doubt that life should be mechanized down to an equation. I was hoping for more insight and less game theory.