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3.8 AVERAGE
3.8 AVERAGE
de Rossi is a great writer and I read this book in two days, pretty zippy.
I think that writing memoirs about eating disorders is a difficult project to undertake, first because the writer has to revisit difficult, potentially triggering details about their past habits and attitudes toward food and their bodies. Secondly, writers walk the line of acknowledging the extent of their illness and disordered behaviors and beliefs while trying not to inadvertently put a How To manual in the hands of those who are at risk of developing an eating disorder.
de Rossi did a good job of not glamorizing her disorder, in fact, her portrait of life on a TV set (Ally McBeal) was downright unappealing. Indifferent co-workers and callous and demeaning expectations (stripping down to her underwear for a scene and awkward fittings) make her ascent to fame seem like a trip to hell.
One complaint I have about the book is that she did not talk much about how she defines being gay for herself, or what that means to her. I can understand why she did not--she was closeted for such a long time, and didn't have a safe space to explore her identity, but the few mentions she did make intrigued and appealed to me. She says that before having to go on the set of Ally McBeal she mostly wore black, jeans with punk band t-shirts and boots (awesome). And later in the book, she says that even once she was out, she didn't fit into traditional roles in lesbian communities (ie. femme and butch couples). I appreciated that she talked about that her rejection of strict roles in couples, even if it was brief.
I would recommend this book to fans of de Rossi, to have a greater appreciation for who she is as a person, separate from her career as a actor. But if you are looking for a story about coming out, this memoir is more focused on overcoming an eating disorder.
I think that writing memoirs about eating disorders is a difficult project to undertake, first because the writer has to revisit difficult, potentially triggering details about their past habits and attitudes toward food and their bodies. Secondly, writers walk the line of acknowledging the extent of their illness and disordered behaviors and beliefs while trying not to inadvertently put a How To manual in the hands of those who are at risk of developing an eating disorder.
de Rossi did a good job of not glamorizing her disorder, in fact, her portrait of life on a TV set (Ally McBeal) was downright unappealing. Indifferent co-workers and callous and demeaning expectations (stripping down to her underwear for a scene and awkward fittings) make her ascent to fame seem like a trip to hell.
One complaint I have about the book is that she did not talk much about how she defines being gay for herself, or what that means to her. I can understand why she did not--she was closeted for such a long time, and didn't have a safe space to explore her identity, but the few mentions she did make intrigued and appealed to me. She says that before having to go on the set of Ally McBeal she mostly wore black, jeans with punk band t-shirts and boots (awesome). And later in the book, she says that even once she was out, she didn't fit into traditional roles in lesbian communities (ie. femme and butch couples). I appreciated that she talked about that her rejection of strict roles in couples, even if it was brief.
I would recommend this book to fans of de Rossi, to have a greater appreciation for who she is as a person, separate from her career as a actor. But if you are looking for a story about coming out, this memoir is more focused on overcoming an eating disorder.
An honest, insightful, very real look into the dealing with anorexia. It was also interesting to hear what was going on with her behind the scenes while she acted in various shows and movies.
fast-paced
I read this a few months ago. We've been watching "Arrested Development" and it's the first thing I've ever watched Portia de Rossi in - I only knew her as Ellen's wife before reading this book. That plus reading [b: The Beauty Myth|39926|The Beauty Myth|Naomi Wolf|https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1388197585s/39926.jpg|836516] made me remember this.
It's exhausting, painful, emotional.
It's exhausting, painful, emotional.
Extremely well written and honest memoir of Portia de Rossi's struggle with an eating disorder; de Rossi's candid expose of her entry into the cut-throat world of celebrity and stardom certainly garners sympathy. But I did not find this book contrived in any way.
TW: eating disorders
I've always been fascinated by psychology — why people think the things they think and do the things they do. I don't always understand, but I'm always interested in the thought process. I also love reading celebrity memoirs. So when I heard that Portia de Rossi had written one, I wanted to read it. I think she's a fabulous actress; I loved her on Arrested Development and one of the best, most-underrated shows to ever get canceled too soon, Better Off Ted.
But everything in the book was before those two shows ever landed on her resume. "Unbearable Lightness: A Story of Loss and Gain" instead focuses on the time in the late 1990s when she got her first job as an actress on Ally McBeal.
As a teen model, Portia's youth was spent focused on being thin; she and her mother would work together to stay focused on their diets, her mother even going so far as to give her dieting tips at an age as young as 12. After years of her weight jumping up and down — starving herself before photo shoots then celebrating afterward by bingeing at McDonald's — Portia finds herself in her 20s, a closeted homosexual terrified of ruining her career by admitting her sexuality, and unsatisfied with the weight her body naturally wants to be. After an emotional moment on the set of Ally McBeal when she realizes the sample-size clothes won't fit over her thighs, she decides that she is going to win at dieting, and that she will never again have a costume designer call for larger sizes. In her mind, that will make people love her and will prevent anyone from knowing that she's gay.
Thus begins a year in which secrecy, lies and consuming as few calories as humanly possible are the friends she clings to. She refuses to eat anything but the few foods she has deemed acceptable — and in carefully measured and weighed portions. Even after consuming so little, she feels convinced she will gain weight if she doesn't work off every calorie. But she never admits that she has a problem. She claims she's "not skinny enough" to be an anorexic, even as she dips below 90 pounds.
Reading this book was heartbreaking. But it was wonderfully written. Every time Portia started to feel manic, anxious — I felt that right along with her. But it was so hard to see her punishing her body for being what it was, hating herself for perceived body flaws, and getting angry when others were concerned about her instead of being proud of her "hard work."
When she finally accepts help, you can feel her calm. I hope she still feels that.
I've always been fascinated by psychology — why people think the things they think and do the things they do. I don't always understand, but I'm always interested in the thought process. I also love reading celebrity memoirs. So when I heard that Portia de Rossi had written one, I wanted to read it. I think she's a fabulous actress; I loved her on Arrested Development and one of the best, most-underrated shows to ever get canceled too soon, Better Off Ted.
But everything in the book was before those two shows ever landed on her resume. "Unbearable Lightness: A Story of Loss and Gain" instead focuses on the time in the late 1990s when she got her first job as an actress on Ally McBeal.
As a teen model, Portia's youth was spent focused on being thin; she and her mother would work together to stay focused on their diets, her mother even going so far as to give her dieting tips at an age as young as 12. After years of her weight jumping up and down — starving herself before photo shoots then celebrating afterward by bingeing at McDonald's — Portia finds herself in her 20s, a closeted homosexual terrified of ruining her career by admitting her sexuality, and unsatisfied with the weight her body naturally wants to be. After an emotional moment on the set of Ally McBeal when she realizes the sample-size clothes won't fit over her thighs, she decides that she is going to win at dieting, and that she will never again have a costume designer call for larger sizes. In her mind, that will make people love her and will prevent anyone from knowing that she's gay.
Thus begins a year in which secrecy, lies and consuming as few calories as humanly possible are the friends she clings to. She refuses to eat anything but the few foods she has deemed acceptable — and in carefully measured and weighed portions. Even after consuming so little, she feels convinced she will gain weight if she doesn't work off every calorie. But she never admits that she has a problem. She claims she's "not skinny enough" to be an anorexic, even as she dips below 90 pounds.
Reading this book was heartbreaking. But it was wonderfully written. Every time Portia started to feel manic, anxious — I felt that right along with her. But it was so hard to see her punishing her body for being what it was, hating herself for perceived body flaws, and getting angry when others were concerned about her instead of being proud of her "hard work."
When she finally accepts help, you can feel her calm. I hope she still feels that.
Sad, powerfully sad the way anorexia can change the way a person thinks about herself and see herself completely different from the world. I was just shocked at the lengths to which she starved and hated herself. I think De Rossi is very brave to write so honestly about her struggle with anorexia and hopefully her ultimate acceptance of herself and the disease will help others facing the same situation. When I think back what stuck with me most was the way she would break up her morning commute with running the streets.
Such an honest book. Its refreshing. No fluff, just pure truth. I really enjoyed this tough story about her struggles with eating and exercising, as well as her sexuality.
This is a book about anorexia. I had the impression it was more of an autobiography, or a story about Portia and her life overcoming the eating disorder and realizing she was a lesbian, then finding Ellen. It was more intensity than I bargained for. Having said that, I found her writing to be articulate, honest, and interesting. Her very rigid lifestyle to keep up with her eating disorder and her work as an actress exhausted me, I can only imagine what she was feeling. I kept waiting for her to collapse, but she didn't, although she must have been close. I'd recommend this book because it's well-written and speaks to all of us having insecurities and often, trouble with self-acceptance.