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The Road Back to You: An Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery by Suzanne Stabile, Ian Morgan Cron
carlyxdeexx's review
4.0
Going into this book, I wasn’t sure if it would live up to the hype—I just knew that as someone intrigued by personality types and tests as well as self-reflection and betterment, this was something I wanted to try reading. I think it was definitely worth the read, and it was enjoyable throughout.
The writing style is very compassionate, honest, and personable—it doesn’t feel like a tome of impenetrable wisdom or a collection of clinical analyses. As I read through, I found myself connecting the dots about people in my immediate life, guessing at their types and wings, wanting to chat more with my partner about our respective types and how to grow in them!
I will say that these authors approach their interpretation and framing of the Enneagram from a completely Judeo-Christian perspective—God makes frequent appearances. So, if you aren’t particularly attached to God as a concept or if you have other religious beliefs, that may rub you the wrong way or make the book not quite as relatable. Being agnostic and pagan and having grown up in both Catholic and Protestant churches, it didn’t bother me too much, and there are plenty of insights to relate to beyond the religious. The invoking of God doesn’t come across as exclusionary, but it is certainly very much there.
Also, this book isn’t inclusive of non-binary people. I thought this is worth bringing up, because it’s something editors should be keeping in mind now about self-help titles. It’s so easy to make a self-help text inclusive, and there are probably plenty of non-binary people out there who are just as intrigued by the Enneagram as I was, but who would have to read through the book feeling completely erased. “He or she” is old hat now. Singular “they” all the way. Readers can handle it.
If anyone’s interested, I’m a 1w2. Thought I could be a 6, but as much as it’s strange to admit it, I think anger motivates me more than fear. Who knew?
The writing style is very compassionate, honest, and personable—it doesn’t feel like a tome of impenetrable wisdom or a collection of clinical analyses. As I read through, I found myself connecting the dots about people in my immediate life, guessing at their types and wings, wanting to chat more with my partner about our respective types and how to grow in them!
I will say that these authors approach their interpretation and framing of the Enneagram from a completely Judeo-Christian perspective—God makes frequent appearances. So, if you aren’t particularly attached to God as a concept or if you have other religious beliefs, that may rub you the wrong way or make the book not quite as relatable. Being agnostic and pagan and having grown up in both Catholic and Protestant churches, it didn’t bother me too much, and there are plenty of insights to relate to beyond the religious. The invoking of God doesn’t come across as exclusionary, but it is certainly very much there.
Also, this book isn’t inclusive of non-binary people. I thought this is worth bringing up, because it’s something editors should be keeping in mind now about self-help titles. It’s so easy to make a self-help text inclusive, and there are probably plenty of non-binary people out there who are just as intrigued by the Enneagram as I was, but who would have to read through the book feeling completely erased. “He or she” is old hat now. Singular “they” all the way. Readers can handle it.
If anyone’s interested, I’m a 1w2. Thought I could be a 6, but as much as it’s strange to admit it, I think anger motivates me more than fear. Who knew?
skoochagian's review
3.0
I enjoyed this book, but I think I’d enjoy it more if I physically read the book. I loved the content, but found myself drifting into other thoughts when listening to the chapters. I have been a huge enneagram fan for a while, and when I got to the type 9 chapter, I felt SO seen. Honestly the chapter brought me to tears. I really liked the spirituality aspect that tied into it, and loved learning the history of how the enneagram started. I know if I get a copy and read it that way (which I intend on doing) it’ll bump up to 4 stars at least.
calebmatthews's review
3.0
I enjoyed learning the different types and anything that makes a person curious about themselves is a potentially good tool.
I didn’t like the unnecessary shoehorning in of the seven (nine?) deadly sins.
The road back to you
What we don’t know about ourselves can hurt us
“All models are wrong, but some are useful.”
Eighth grade teachers: you got the pizza you ordered. YIKES.
Richard Rohr says: Information is not transformation. You have to do something with it.
8s
Conflict is connection
They don’t want control, they just don’t want to be controlled.
Need to learn that moderation is a value not a restraining order
Need to learn not to confuse vulnerability with weakness
8s hate to lose more than they love to win
Genders influence on 8s
9
ABar
Self forgetting
8 forget rest and self care
7 forget to kick back and have fun
9 forget opinions preferences and priorities
2
Who am I when no one needs me?
3
You’re only as good as your last success
Sections at the end of each chapter that give tips on how to be a healthier version of your number type
5
Possibly autism (special interests - experience relationships differently)
Fear is warded off with info
6
Fear based
Fear is warded off with pessimism
7
Fear is warded off with optimism
Duck taping a silver lining to a black cloud
Live for the next adventure
Pleasure is in the waiting not the saiting
SANDMAN QUOTE
I didn’t like the unnecessary shoehorning in of the seven (nine?) deadly sins.
The road back to you
What we don’t know about ourselves can hurt us
“All models are wrong, but some are useful.”
Eighth grade teachers: you got the pizza you ordered. YIKES.
Richard Rohr says: Information is not transformation. You have to do something with it.
8s
Conflict is connection
They don’t want control, they just don’t want to be controlled.
Need to learn that moderation is a value not a restraining order
Need to learn not to confuse vulnerability with weakness
8s hate to lose more than they love to win
Genders influence on 8s
9
ABar
Self forgetting
8 forget rest and self care
7 forget to kick back and have fun
9 forget opinions preferences and priorities
2
Who am I when no one needs me?
3
You’re only as good as your last success
Sections at the end of each chapter that give tips on how to be a healthier version of your number type
5
Possibly autism (special interests - experience relationships differently)
Fear is warded off with info
6
Fear based
Fear is warded off with pessimism
7
Fear is warded off with optimism
Duck taping a silver lining to a black cloud
Live for the next adventure
Pleasure is in the waiting not the saiting
SANDMAN QUOTE
missyjohnson's review
4.0
I read this very quickly and will need to re-read to have it "soak in" . this book on the enneagram was easier to read than Richard Rohr's book that I read a few years ago. I have picked up the Rohr book again and have a bit better understanding. Very interesting and thought provoking.
winkattheduck's review
challenging
emotional
funny
hopeful
informative
inspiring
lighthearted
reflective
sad
medium-paced
4.5
dkatreads's review
4.0
Probably more like 3.5 as far as enneagram materials go, but a really great introduction to the system and resource to help clarify which number you are.
I've said it a hundred times and I'll say it again, but don't rely on "tests" to tell you what you are!! Do your research. Read. Reflect. Investigate yourself, and then use the enneagram as a tool for personal and spiritual growth. It's so much more than behavioral descriptions. It's a tool to help you grow into maturity and wholeness, help you recognize your fears and motivations, and for Christians, to understand the gospel as both meeting your personal needs and the needs of others which you may not see. I really encourage some deep diving into what the enneagram is about (and especially instinctual subtypes... I've found them to be the most helpful angle) if you've never encountered it. I've grown so much through investigating the system.
I've said it a hundred times and I'll say it again, but don't rely on "tests" to tell you what you are!! Do your research. Read. Reflect. Investigate yourself, and then use the enneagram as a tool for personal and spiritual growth. It's so much more than behavioral descriptions. It's a tool to help you grow into maturity and wholeness, help you recognize your fears and motivations, and for Christians, to understand the gospel as both meeting your personal needs and the needs of others which you may not see. I really encourage some deep diving into what the enneagram is about (and especially instinctual subtypes... I've found them to be the most helpful angle) if you've never encountered it. I've grown so much through investigating the system.
issianne's review
5.0
Didn't realize I was a type four until doing a deep dive with this book. I guess I should've known when I've spent my entire life thinking I'm special and spending my Friday nights alone in my room listening to sad music.
deanashuman's review
5.0
If you’re interested in the enneagram but not sure where to start, this is the book to read. Light-hearted but profound, beautifully and clearly explained. I am not a Christian and was concerned that I would find it alienating, as it does have a Christian perspective. Not at all. I’m so grateful that I read this, as it enlightened me as to some of my own motivations (I’m a 9, and never understood why it was so hard for me to voice my disagreement with friends, loved ones, and strangers alike). It also made me more compassionate towards people in my life that I have dismissed or labeled as self-centered jerks...understanding others’ fears and motivations makes forgiveness and compassion easier. As I read the descriptions of the types, friends faces would pop up and I would think « good lord, this is (insert name)!! » and I felt I understood them a little better. It actually stirred me to reach out to some long-lost friends to say, « how ya doin’? ». I hope it has the same heart-opening effect for you if you read it.