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3.72 AVERAGE
3.72 AVERAGE
I obtained this book in July 2022 when Simon & Schuster was giving this book away free in all formats, because of how strongly their CEO Jonathan Karp believes in what it has to say. And it does have a lot to say, about how we communicate about some of the most difficult topics there are to talk about: death, sex, money, family and identity. Each one comes with so many potential pitfalls and stumbling blocks, accidentally offending someone or intentionally forcing one’s own views on another. Sale weaves together parts of her own life and the lives of people she has interviewed together to shed some light on how we communicate, and how we fall short in our communications. It is both relatable to a wide range of people, and also quite personal because of these anecdotes. And what it all really boils down to is that in order to communicate, we have to listen, truly listen, to what we hear. By listening, and looking at a situation from a different angle than we usually do, we can get so much further in our communications and understandings with others.
Quotes:
Conversation by conversation, she brought her loved ones together. She created the space for them to support her when she needed it most, and later, for them to support one another, when they needed it most. Death didn’t go away, the pain didn’t diminish, but the loneliness did. That’s what becomes possible when we talk bravely, awkwardly, openly, about dying and the holes that death leaves behind. – track 6, 41:20
In the end, it’s okay to accept that family can’t give us everything. To seek out other avenues towards the comfort and support we need. In adulthood, our family relationships mature when we figure out how to see our family members, to be seen by them, as individual people. One of the most effective ways of doing this is to revisit family stories. – Track 11, 74:15
Quotes:
Conversation by conversation, she brought her loved ones together. She created the space for them to support her when she needed it most, and later, for them to support one another, when they needed it most. Death didn’t go away, the pain didn’t diminish, but the loneliness did. That’s what becomes possible when we talk bravely, awkwardly, openly, about dying and the holes that death leaves behind. – track 6, 41:20
In the end, it’s okay to accept that family can’t give us everything. To seek out other avenues towards the comfort and support we need. In adulthood, our family relationships mature when we figure out how to see our family members, to be seen by them, as individual people. One of the most effective ways of doing this is to revisit family stories. – Track 11, 74:15
Very insightful. Filled with amazing stories to learn and grow from. Thank you!
informative
reflective
medium-paced
Anna Sale is a host and podcaster for WNYC who brought elements of her podcast into book form when she revisited some of the interviews years later and wove them together to discuss some of the issues facing us as a society. The short takeaway is perhaps what sets us apart from robots (and animals) is human emotion since those form such a part of every conversation. We'd make much more rational decisions without them. Sale is a divorced, white woman from West Virginia living in California via Wyoming and NYC. Many different pieces shaped her story, and she was cognizant in making her subjects well-rounded too: they weren't just an elderly neighbor facing her mortality, or a native guide hosting a tipi at Powwow, but rather real people with a thick, vibrant fabric. This would have been a shorter read with more time.
I’m guessing these conversations are better as a podcast than in book form… it was fine.
I really like the identify area of the book. I think I can use some of this with students.
While I enjoyed reading this, it isn't the book I thought it was going to be. If you are an avid listener of her podcast, Death, Sex & Money, a lot of the stories included in the book will be familiar. Overall, it feels like more of a "guide" on how to have hard conversations than I was anticipating. So, if that is what you are looking for, it's worth checking out. But it didn't quite live up to my expectations.
3.5 stars. Liked it, didn't love it. I'm already inclined to have hard conversations about some things, so none of this was new. But the chapters about sex and money were welcome reminders to talk about those too. The style was approachable and friendly.
Disclaimer: This is going to be a very incomplete review.
Diving into five of the most fraught conversation topics - death, sex, money, family, and identity - Anna Sale, host of the Death, Sex, & Money podcast takes the reader on a deep dive into why those topics are so hard to discuss and how to navigate discussing them in productive and healing ways instead of destructive and damaging ones. As Sale says in the introduction to this title, "This book is about using conversations to fortify our connections. Sometimes, that requires bringing up hard topics you need to discuss. Perhaps more crucially, it means listening when they're brought up to you."
Drawing on her own personal experiences within these five conversation topics, as well as numerous interviews she has had with a variety of people thanks to her podcast, and talking to some experts (psychologists, etc) Sale provides sample scenarios and potential outcomes to these difficult conversations. I found this read to be very helpful. The title caught my eye, and attention, because since 2016 it seems like conversations have gotten a lot more difficult to navigate in our world. In fact, if Sale ever updates this title she should include a sixth conversation topic - politics.
Diving into five of the most fraught conversation topics - death, sex, money, family, and identity - Anna Sale, host of the Death, Sex, & Money podcast takes the reader on a deep dive into why those topics are so hard to discuss and how to navigate discussing them in productive and healing ways instead of destructive and damaging ones. As Sale says in the introduction to this title, "This book is about using conversations to fortify our connections. Sometimes, that requires bringing up hard topics you need to discuss. Perhaps more crucially, it means listening when they're brought up to you."
Drawing on her own personal experiences within these five conversation topics, as well as numerous interviews she has had with a variety of people thanks to her podcast, and talking to some experts (psychologists, etc) Sale provides sample scenarios and potential outcomes to these difficult conversations. I found this read to be very helpful. The title caught my eye, and attention, because since 2016 it seems like conversations have gotten a lot more difficult to navigate in our world. In fact, if Sale ever updates this title she should include a sixth conversation topic - politics.
A fascinating dive into conversation skills I have never thought to master around topics I always try to talk about.
I feel empowered and brave and excited!
I feel empowered and brave and excited!