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onceuponthesewords's review against another edition
3.0
3.5/5
Introducing… another book that’s been sitting on my shelves for 10+ years that I’m finally getting around to reading!
Tess is the nerdy and artistic one, while Kristina is the beautiful and sporty one. Two sisters who are complete opposites end up having their lives flipped upside down when Kristina finds out she has cancer. Everything for their whole family changes, and learning to deal with the change and grief is something that none of them were prepared to do.
This book was painful and heartbreaking, and it hit really close to home for me, as I lost a family member to cancer many years ago. Reading this book brought back so many painful memories, and the content was heavy… but it was also amazing to see how the dynamics of each character changed throughout the story.
Some of the characters were super unlikeable, but for the most part, I thought this was a very realistic and emotional depiction of someone’s experience with cancer. So glad I finally got around to reading this.
Introducing… another book that’s been sitting on my shelves for 10+ years that I’m finally getting around to reading!
Tess is the nerdy and artistic one, while Kristina is the beautiful and sporty one. Two sisters who are complete opposites end up having their lives flipped upside down when Kristina finds out she has cancer. Everything for their whole family changes, and learning to deal with the change and grief is something that none of them were prepared to do.
This book was painful and heartbreaking, and it hit really close to home for me, as I lost a family member to cancer many years ago. Reading this book brought back so many painful memories, and the content was heavy… but it was also amazing to see how the dynamics of each character changed throughout the story.
Some of the characters were super unlikeable, but for the most part, I thought this was a very realistic and emotional depiction of someone’s experience with cancer. So glad I finally got around to reading this.
k_wall's review against another edition
4.0
So I just have really enjoyed this book up to this point. This really is a great book about relationships and how families handle things. You always think...oh that won't happen to me, my sibling, my child, etc. I am glad to see how. The main character has really grown from living in her sister's shadow and she becomes a very wonderful young adult. I also like how the characters are so real...the main character, Tess, we see her grow in her relationship with her sister and finding a place in her school. We also see her struggle with friends and family. I think of what I have read that this is an amazing book, can't wait to finish and read more from this author.
So now I have finished the book. I really did love the way the author made the characters believable. I don't want to say that I enjoyed watching them struggle, but I think this book lets you know that everyone has different problems they are dealing with. I wasn't a huge fan of then ending, but I like to have all the loose ends tied up. I did like that the author made it feel like everyone would be fine, and that we can all overcome struggles.
So now I have finished the book. I really did love the way the author made the characters believable. I don't want to say that I enjoyed watching them struggle, but I think this book lets you know that everyone has different problems they are dealing with. I wasn't a huge fan of then ending, but I like to have all the loose ends tied up. I did like that the author made it feel like everyone would be fine, and that we can all overcome struggles.
jen286's review against another edition
2.0
Really 2.5 stars. I didn't hate it, but I didn't really like this story either. It was almost good, but it just...I don't know. It fell short of being really touching. And when I was just like really? Why did you throw that in there? It just didn't seem to make a lot of sense and was just put in there to try and make it sadder, when it really just annoyed me. It was an okay book, but not the best.
Spoiler
Jeremy diedmeandmypaperback's review against another edition
4.0
For my review please check out my blog!
http://justaddchampagne.blogspot.ca/2013/07/review-im-not-her-by-janet-gurtler.html
http://justaddchampagne.blogspot.ca/2013/07/review-im-not-her-by-janet-gurtler.html
kristid's review against another edition
3.0
Whew... so heartbreaking, but realistic. This was an especially difficult book for me to read right now. Having cancer affecting a few people in my life right now. Luckily they are fairing very well to their treatments, but it's still hard to read about what they might have had to gone through.
But this wasn't a story about a girl with cancer. This was a story about a family dealing with someone they love having cancer, and how they are each are affected... in very very different ways.
I was mad at Kristina and Tess's parents, but at the same time, I can't imagine how devastating it would be as a parent, to be powerless to protect your child from something like this. I enjoyed that the focus was on Tess and how she dealt with her sister's condition, how it made her realize the important things in life, and learn to stand up for herself when the occasion called for it.
It was a beautifully written story... I felt so many emotions while reading, it was hard to keep track. One moment I was devastated for Kristina, the next moment I was in shock for Tess... then excited for Tess. Great characterization and just a great story.
But this wasn't a story about a girl with cancer. This was a story about a family dealing with someone they love having cancer, and how they are each are affected... in very very different ways.
I was mad at Kristina and Tess's parents, but at the same time, I can't imagine how devastating it would be as a parent, to be powerless to protect your child from something like this. I enjoyed that the focus was on Tess and how she dealt with her sister's condition, how it made her realize the important things in life, and learn to stand up for herself when the occasion called for it.
It was a beautifully written story... I felt so many emotions while reading, it was hard to keep track. One moment I was devastated for Kristina, the next moment I was in shock for Tess... then excited for Tess. Great characterization and just a great story.
trisha_thomas's review against another edition
5.0
"You're still you. And I don't want you to die."
Very few things are as sobering as having your kids squealing and playing, seeming healthy and happy, all around you while you read a book about childhood cancer.
Tess is a strong, smart,independent kind of girl. She's tried to earn her way into honor society through grades, volunteering and extra activities.
Her sister Kristina is pretty, sporty and popular. She's easy to talk to, quick to flash a smile and easy to make friends with.
Up until Kristina is diagnosed with cancer. Gone is the self assured, pretty girl - now she is quiet, depressed and not coping well.
This is Tess' story of her life, her family and how it all changed when the word CANCER krept into their lives. I can't judge anyone and how they would handle this situation. It's startling and terrifying in the reality that it can happen to any of us.
But this book, this story, was a nice change to be told through Tess. She struggles with her own fears and guilt. And she finds out just how strong she is. And I liked seeing all the other reactions played out through the supporting characters - from Nick to Jeremy, Mom & Dad, to Melissa and Gee and Devon. Everyone had their own idea, right? And some of their reactions to the news might surprise you.
Oh, and my favorite part? "Superman much?" I loved the whole story there.
Very few things are as sobering as having your kids squealing and playing, seeming healthy and happy, all around you while you read a book about childhood cancer.
Tess is a strong, smart,independent kind of girl. She's tried to earn her way into honor society through grades, volunteering and extra activities.
Her sister Kristina is pretty, sporty and popular. She's easy to talk to, quick to flash a smile and easy to make friends with.
Up until Kristina is diagnosed with cancer. Gone is the self assured, pretty girl - now she is quiet, depressed and not coping well.
This is Tess' story of her life, her family and how it all changed when the word CANCER krept into their lives. I can't judge anyone and how they would handle this situation. It's startling and terrifying in the reality that it can happen to any of us.
But this book, this story, was a nice change to be told through Tess. She struggles with her own fears and guilt. And she finds out just how strong she is. And I liked seeing all the other reactions played out through the supporting characters - from Nick to Jeremy, Mom & Dad, to Melissa and Gee and Devon. Everyone had their own idea, right? And some of their reactions to the news might surprise you.
Oh, and my favorite part? "Superman much?" I loved the whole story there.
amarylissw's review against another edition
3.0
The thing I loved most about this book was how incredibly realistic it was. The characters show their good and bad sides, become likeable and unlikeable — they're so real.
lumos_libros's review against another edition
4.0
I can almost guarantee that everybody knows somebody who has had cancer, whether it is you, a friend, neighbor, coworker, relative, etc. I think most people have seen someone go through this. I'm surprised actually of how little young-adult literature deals with this issue, but here Gurtler attacks it head on and gives a realistic portrayal of a family dealing with cancer.
Tess is not like her older sister, not even a smidge. She's artistic, nerdy, and not anywhere near to even be a blip in the social radar. Kristina on the other hand is popular, well-liked, and a star on the volleyball team. She's a senior in high school with a promising future, and she is basically on top of the world. All that comes to a screeching halt when Kristina gets checked out for a chronic pain in her knee, it turns out to be the worst case scenario, cancer.
The author really does an excellent job of capturing how cancer not only affects the person who has it, but the family has cancer to. The best and worst come out in people, and everybody reacts differently. I'd have to say that Tess's family isn't the most exemplary example. There are families who deal with it worse but also much better. The book is told through Tess's point of view, and I'm glad it was. You see her struggle with being a good sister and still wanting her own life not to spin out of control too. She still wants things, but at the same time tries to be the strong one in her family. Tess has a lot of the reactions people normally have. At first she can't believe it's true, that it can be that bad. Then comes the anxiety of what should be done and what can she do? How do you talk to someone who thinks they may be dying? Whose whole life has changed? It's beyond hard, it's almost impossible to know what to do.
This isn't a necessarily an easy book to read. You get mad at the characters and how each of them reacts to Kristina. And you want things to turn out right, but that's not how life is like. It's messy and we all are only human. It's weird but not how Tess herself goes through a transformation because of this. Things she once thought she was sure of and thought were important, become so trivial. She becomes more out-spoken, stronger, and learns who has her back and who doesn't.
All the characters are well fleshed out and bring something to the story. It was just so spot on, the only reason why I knocked off a star was because I would have liked to seen more of Kristina. There is a lot of Kristina in the story obviously, but I would have liked to understand her a little bit better.
As you can tell I'm doing a terrible of job of conveying how much I thought the book told a true story that is being a played throughout so many homes. I can personally attest that this felt real, sad but real.
Tess is not like her older sister, not even a smidge. She's artistic, nerdy, and not anywhere near to even be a blip in the social radar. Kristina on the other hand is popular, well-liked, and a star on the volleyball team. She's a senior in high school with a promising future, and she is basically on top of the world. All that comes to a screeching halt when Kristina gets checked out for a chronic pain in her knee, it turns out to be the worst case scenario, cancer.
The author really does an excellent job of capturing how cancer not only affects the person who has it, but the family has cancer to. The best and worst come out in people, and everybody reacts differently. I'd have to say that Tess's family isn't the most exemplary example. There are families who deal with it worse but also much better. The book is told through Tess's point of view, and I'm glad it was. You see her struggle with being a good sister and still wanting her own life not to spin out of control too. She still wants things, but at the same time tries to be the strong one in her family. Tess has a lot of the reactions people normally have. At first she can't believe it's true, that it can be that bad. Then comes the anxiety of what should be done and what can she do? How do you talk to someone who thinks they may be dying? Whose whole life has changed? It's beyond hard, it's almost impossible to know what to do.
This isn't a necessarily an easy book to read. You get mad at the characters and how each of them reacts to Kristina. And you want things to turn out right, but that's not how life is like. It's messy and we all are only human. It's weird but not how Tess herself goes through a transformation because of this. Things she once thought she was sure of and thought were important, become so trivial. She becomes more out-spoken, stronger, and learns who has her back and who doesn't.
All the characters are well fleshed out and bring something to the story. It was just so spot on, the only reason why I knocked off a star was because I would have liked to seen more of Kristina. There is a lot of Kristina in the story obviously, but I would have liked to understand her a little bit better.
As you can tell I'm doing a terrible of job of conveying how much I thought the book told a true story that is being a played throughout so many homes. I can personally attest that this felt real, sad but real.
pikasqueaks's review against another edition
3.0
I was initially disappointed with going back to read the book that came before Gurtler's latest because I knew the reviews I'd read didn't give such stellar feedback. But what do other reviewers know, anyway?
Unfortunately, this book (and the story itself) suffered from that thing that drives me crazy: cancer. I've gone on and on about the cancer before (to sum it up: snooze, I get it, everyone knows a person who died or survived, it's no longer as unique or special or individualized a battle as the tacky Facebook shared posts would have us believe), so I'm going to talk a bit about why I'M NOT HER stood out, instead. It's something you see a lot in YA books about sisters: the beauty/brains dichotomy.
There's the pretty sister and the smart sister. There's resentment from the smart sister, who is apparently not just smart, but socially isolated because her older sister's a flawless beautiful athletic superhuman goddess who counts calories and has a bright future in volleyball. There's obvious favoritism from the parents, who choose to ignore Tess and her interests for the most part, and let her older sister's bright future take over.
But it's such a straight dichotomy in the book. Not just in the way the characters are, but in the way everyone regards it and how it's presented. Tess isn't just a little resentful of her older sister's beauty and social standing, she regards it as being shallow -- like a person can't possible have both.
She's not the only one who puts it that way. Several characters draw that dichotomy out further, but sometimes in different ways. Sometimes Tess is the good one because she's "got something else" and that something else is intelligence.
Kristina laments the fact that she's hideous because she's got cancer and no one would want to flirt with her because of it, but when things get serious with her cancer treatment, the sisters have an eye-opening exchange that drives it all home. Kristina asks Tess is she likes being smart, and Tess says yes. Kristina tells her sister that she like(d) being beautiful.
And it almost redeemed everything else in the book for me, because that's a powerful line. These people in Kristina's life, Tess included, sometimes don't recognize that for some people, beauty is important. It might not be everything, but it's a huge deal. Some people spend immense time cultivating their bodies and their faces, learning how to apply the best makeup in the most flattering ways, counting calories and staying fit. And not every time does that get recognized as being worthwhile, because for years we've all been telling each other that beauty's only skin deep and it's what's on the inside that counts.
But it's not always. Guys, can we be real? Appearance matters. I think this book does a great job of working to remind people that appearance is important. It's not awful and it doesn't have to be terribly shallow for someone to be into how they look and try to look their best.
It's okay to love your face. We should all try to do that more often.
And even Tess realizes, as she's trying on some jeans that make her ass look great, that it's possible to have both. But that gets ripped away by her melodramatic mother, and what could have been a great plot point never really gets revisited. Tess' time in the spotlight fades as things get more serious with her sister -- and though I would have liked to see this girl come into her own and harvest her power, she only draws deeper into who she always was.
Unfortunately, this book (and the story itself) suffered from that thing that drives me crazy: cancer. I've gone on and on about the cancer before (to sum it up: snooze, I get it, everyone knows a person who died or survived, it's no longer as unique or special or individualized a battle as the tacky Facebook shared posts would have us believe), so I'm going to talk a bit about why I'M NOT HER stood out, instead. It's something you see a lot in YA books about sisters: the beauty/brains dichotomy.
There's the pretty sister and the smart sister. There's resentment from the smart sister, who is apparently not just smart, but socially isolated because her older sister's a flawless beautiful athletic superhuman goddess who counts calories and has a bright future in volleyball. There's obvious favoritism from the parents, who choose to ignore Tess and her interests for the most part, and let her older sister's bright future take over.
But it's such a straight dichotomy in the book. Not just in the way the characters are, but in the way everyone regards it and how it's presented. Tess isn't just a little resentful of her older sister's beauty and social standing, she regards it as being shallow -- like a person can't possible have both.
She's not the only one who puts it that way. Several characters draw that dichotomy out further, but sometimes in different ways. Sometimes Tess is the good one because she's "got something else" and that something else is intelligence.
Kristina laments the fact that she's hideous because she's got cancer and no one would want to flirt with her because of it, but when things get serious with her cancer treatment, the sisters have an eye-opening exchange that drives it all home. Kristina asks Tess is she likes being smart, and Tess says yes. Kristina tells her sister that she like(d) being beautiful.
And it almost redeemed everything else in the book for me, because that's a powerful line. These people in Kristina's life, Tess included, sometimes don't recognize that for some people, beauty is important. It might not be everything, but it's a huge deal. Some people spend immense time cultivating their bodies and their faces, learning how to apply the best makeup in the most flattering ways, counting calories and staying fit. And not every time does that get recognized as being worthwhile, because for years we've all been telling each other that beauty's only skin deep and it's what's on the inside that counts.
But it's not always. Guys, can we be real? Appearance matters. I think this book does a great job of working to remind people that appearance is important. It's not awful and it doesn't have to be terribly shallow for someone to be into how they look and try to look their best.
It's okay to love your face. We should all try to do that more often.
And even Tess realizes, as she's trying on some jeans that make her ass look great, that it's possible to have both. But that gets ripped away by her melodramatic mother, and what could have been a great plot point never really gets revisited. Tess' time in the spotlight fades as things get more serious with her sister -- and though I would have liked to see this girl come into her own and harvest her power, she only draws deeper into who she always was.