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4.49 AVERAGE
4.49 AVERAGE
emotional
informative
reflective
fast-paced
reflective
tense
slow-paced
informative
inspiring
reflective
fast-paced
I received a copy via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.
At this point, it's cliche to talk about Audre Lorde being wise or compassionate or any of those other words, but it's hard to talk about this book without resorting to them. The way she writes is just so powerful. I came away from this book impressed with her courage, but also with her humanity and honesty, and the way she didn't shy away from writing about pain and fear. Another thing I loved is her explicitly Black and lesbian view on breast cancer, and many of the passages about being supported by her partner and other women made me a bit emotional. For example, I really enjoyed her perspective on prostheses; the incident in the surgeon's office, where she is told by staff that by not wearing a prosthesis, she is "bad for the morale of the office", is particularly vivid. For simply existing in a different way to other women and not bowing to social norms - in a way that’s clearly tied to her experience as a lesbian and Black woman - Lorde is perceived as threatening to the other (presumably straight, white, and conventional) women.
Coming from a public health background, the times Lorde touches on the upstream causes and political determinants of cancer were also extremely interesting to me - Lorde doesn't use technical terminology and I'm not sure if she formally studied in the area, but she's clearly so well informed. (That said, I disagree with her on reconstructive surgery, which she argues increases the chances of breast cancer recurring - I did a bit of digging into this, and the evidence suggests that it doesn't - but she was writing decades ago when we had less evidence on this, and I think her scepticism of the medical establishment is understandable).
I actually read this book while suffering from a health condition of my own, which had recently flared up again. It wasn't life-threatening or medically serious, but I was in a great deal of pain and pain has a way of making you feel isolated, so this book really helped me. For that alone, this book deserves five stars.
I don't think there's much else I could say better than letting Lorde speak for herself, so here's a selection of my favourite quotes:
- "I want to write rage but all that comes is sadness. We have been sad long enough to make this earth either weep or grow fertile. I am an anachronism, a sport, like the bee that was never meant to fly. Science said so. I am not supposed to exist. I carry death around in my body like a condemnation. But I do live. The bee flies. There must be some way to integrate death into living, neither ignoring it nor giving into it."
- "I am 46 years living today and very pleased to be alive, very glad and very happy. Fear and pain and despair do not disappear. They only become slowly less and less important."
- "When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less important whether or not I am unafraid."
- "I had to remind myself that I had lived through it all, already. I had known the pain, and survived it. It only remained for me to give it voice, to share it for use, that the pain not be wasted."
- "The only answer to death is the heat and confusion of living; the only dependable warmth is the warmth of the blood. I can feel my own beating even now."
- "And I mourn the women who limit their loss to the physical loss alone, who do not move into the whole terrible meaning of mortality as both weapon and power... For once we accept the actual existence of our dying, who can ever have power over us again?"
- "Women have been programmed to view our bodies only in terms of how they look and feel to others, rather than how they feel to ourselves, and how we wish to use them."
- "But in the same way, and just as infrequently, as I sometimes miss being 32, at the same time knowing that I have gained from the very loss that I mourn."
At this point, it's cliche to talk about Audre Lorde being wise or compassionate or any of those other words, but it's hard to talk about this book without resorting to them. The way she writes is just so powerful. I came away from this book impressed with her courage, but also with her humanity and honesty, and the way she didn't shy away from writing about pain and fear. Another thing I loved is her explicitly Black and lesbian view on breast cancer, and many of the passages about being supported by her partner and other women made me a bit emotional. For example, I really enjoyed her perspective on prostheses; the incident in the surgeon's office, where she is told by staff that by not wearing a prosthesis, she is "bad for the morale of the office", is particularly vivid. For simply existing in a different way to other women and not bowing to social norms - in a way that’s clearly tied to her experience as a lesbian and Black woman - Lorde is perceived as threatening to the other (presumably straight, white, and conventional) women.
Coming from a public health background, the times Lorde touches on the upstream causes and political determinants of cancer were also extremely interesting to me - Lorde doesn't use technical terminology and I'm not sure if she formally studied in the area, but she's clearly so well informed. (That said, I disagree with her on reconstructive surgery, which she argues increases the chances of breast cancer recurring - I did a bit of digging into this, and the evidence suggests that it doesn't - but she was writing decades ago when we had less evidence on this, and I think her scepticism of the medical establishment is understandable).
I actually read this book while suffering from a health condition of my own, which had recently flared up again. It wasn't life-threatening or medically serious, but I was in a great deal of pain and pain has a way of making you feel isolated, so this book really helped me. For that alone, this book deserves five stars.
I don't think there's much else I could say better than letting Lorde speak for herself, so here's a selection of my favourite quotes:
- "I want to write rage but all that comes is sadness. We have been sad long enough to make this earth either weep or grow fertile. I am an anachronism, a sport, like the bee that was never meant to fly. Science said so. I am not supposed to exist. I carry death around in my body like a condemnation. But I do live. The bee flies. There must be some way to integrate death into living, neither ignoring it nor giving into it."
- "I am 46 years living today and very pleased to be alive, very glad and very happy. Fear and pain and despair do not disappear. They only become slowly less and less important."
- "When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less important whether or not I am unafraid."
- "I had to remind myself that I had lived through it all, already. I had known the pain, and survived it. It only remained for me to give it voice, to share it for use, that the pain not be wasted."
- "The only answer to death is the heat and confusion of living; the only dependable warmth is the warmth of the blood. I can feel my own beating even now."
- "And I mourn the women who limit their loss to the physical loss alone, who do not move into the whole terrible meaning of mortality as both weapon and power... For once we accept the actual existence of our dying, who can ever have power over us again?"
- "Women have been programmed to view our bodies only in terms of how they look and feel to others, rather than how they feel to ourselves, and how we wish to use them."
- "But in the same way, and just as infrequently, as I sometimes miss being 32, at the same time knowing that I have gained from the very loss that I mourn."
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
Content Warnings
Graphic: Cancer, Medical content
Moderate: Death
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
relaxing
sad
medium-paced
I just finished this book and can feel it grasping my heart. It speaks to an experience so deep and visceral to me and I deeply recommend it
Content Warnings
Graphic: Body shaming, Cancer, Chronic illness, Terminal illness, Medical trauma
Moderate: Misogyny, Sexism, Medical content
Minor: Ableism, Racism, Suicidal thoughts, Lesbophobia
challenging
hopeful
informative
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
slow-paced
The Cancer Journals is a proclamation of pain, womanhood, and survivorship. It’s a memoir of Audre Lorde’s intimate battle with breast cancer and her decision to have a mastectomy—notably also not to wear a prosthetic breast. The second one was an incredibly strange decision to everyone around her; after all, why wouldn’t she want to look normal? Isn’t it better to have than not to have? The answer is no. While it might look ‘normal’ to those who see her during her day-to-day life, the fact to her is that to wear the prosthesis is to pretend that she never endured suffering. It’s to act like not having her right breast is somehow something that must be fixed. It’s to act like the most important thing is how strangers perceive her, instead of how she perceives herself, how romantic and sexual partners view her, and how she feels on the inside. I mention this specific theme for two reasons. One, because a large portion of the book is dedicated to it, but two, because it encapsulates much of the message of the book. For Audre Lorde to not wear the prosthetic breast is to embrace herself. It’s to be authentic; honest. It’s to help other women know they’re not alone, and that their misfortunes aren’t something to hide from. It’s to be sure that the existence of women who’ve had mastectomies isn’t erased.
Aside from this, the book touches on other themes. The extreme physical pain that Audre Lorde had to endure during her cancer treatment, the fear she felt throughout the process, and her perspective on everything as a black lesbian woman with cancer. One of the most interesting things in the book comes up nearing the end, where she discusses the corruption of cancer treatment institutions and the idea that, due to the profit incentive, cancer prevention is not encouraged—only treatment is.
This book is powerful and the perspective it provides is extremely valuable. I’m really glad I read it. Plus, it’s a pretty short read. It doesn’t require your utmost patience or effort to get through, if that’s a worry. Audre Lorde has done a lot of good by creating this.
Aside from this, the book touches on other themes. The extreme physical pain that Audre Lorde had to endure during her cancer treatment, the fear she felt throughout the process, and her perspective on everything as a black lesbian woman with cancer. One of the most interesting things in the book comes up nearing the end, where she discusses the corruption of cancer treatment institutions and the idea that, due to the profit incentive, cancer prevention is not encouraged—only treatment is.
This book is powerful and the perspective it provides is extremely valuable. I’m really glad I read it. Plus, it’s a pretty short read. It doesn’t require your utmost patience or effort to get through, if that’s a worry. Audre Lorde has done a lot of good by creating this.
Loved the conversation between health, happiness, and awareness of the world we live in.
informative
reflective
medium-paced