Reviews tagging 'Miscarriage'

No estás en la lista by Alison Espach

831 reviews

dark funny hopeful reflective medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven: Character
Strong character development: Yes
Loveable characters: Yes
Diverse cast of characters: Complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

‘There is no such thing as a happy place. Because when you are happy, everywhere is a happy place. And when you are sad, everywhere is a sad place.’

‘I think we talk about happiness all wrong. As if it’s this fixed state we’re going to reach. Like we’ll just be able to live there, forever. But that’s not my experience with happiness. For me, it comes and goes. It shows up and then disappears like a bubble.’

‘becoming who you want to be is just like anything else. It takes practice. It requires belief that one day, you’ll wake up and be a natural at it.’

‘She didn't understand how she could love herself. She didn't understand what people even meant when they said they loved themselves. She honestly didn't believe them. How could you love yourself? How could you love yourself when you know every single horrible thing you've ever thought?’

‘It is so much easier to sit in things and wait for something to save us. For the past two years, Phoebe sat in the bad things the way she used to sit in the snow as a child. An hour would go by and it would be very hard for her to get back up. Eventually she looked down at her toes and became confused: Why are they frozen? It was her father who picked her up, said, It’s time to come inside.’

‘Love is visible—it paints the air between two people a different color, and everyone can see it.’

‘And maybe that’s it: You do things in the moment for the person you hope you might be two years from now.’

‘Nobody was ever really watching, except Phoebe. Phoebe was the only person waiting in the dark to condemn herself for every single thing when the day was over.’

‘but that is how it happens, she realizes. One moment of pretending to be great leads to the next moment of pretending to be great and ten years later, she realizes she's spent her entire life just pretending to be great.’

‘Phoebe was regularly astonished by how awful her friends were to their mothers, and the mothers just took it, because the mothers knew that sometimes they were awful, too. The mothers had made their own mistakes’



Expand filter menu Content Warnings
emotional funny hopeful inspiring lighthearted reflective sad medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven: Character
Strong character development: Yes
Loveable characters: Complicated
Diverse cast of characters: Complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

 So this is the third woman-in-her-30s/40s-rediscovers-meaning-of-life book I've read in the past few years, and I must say it's my favourite of the genre. The other two were Confessions of a Forty-Something F*ck Up (3.75* - decent!) and The Midnight Library (gave it a 3* when I first read it because I was nicer back then...it now sits pretty as one of my few 1* reads).

The thing about books that have mental health as a theme is they will almost always rub someone up the wrong way. I hated the messaging in The Midnight Library - the anti-medication and anti-therapy implications, the lack of acknowledgement of clinical depression vs circumstantial depression, the fact the novel was basically (bad and very cliched) self-help disguised as fiction, not to mention how basic the writing was and the super flat characters...but other people do love the book and find comfort in it.

The Wedding People has a lot in common with The Midnight Library. The main characters both suffer from listlessness, estranged/lacking family - they both even lose their pet cats within the first few chapters. But The Wedding People has real characters. It doesn't read like a self-help book at all, the book never feels like it's addressing the reader, and yet I feel like readers would learn way more from it than from The Midnight Library (and also chuckle a lot more). Characters learn from each other, from their therapists, from tarot readers, from a panda sex woman (no I will not elaborate) - and it all feels natural. It's just part of the story.

When I say natural, I don't mean realistic, I might add - at least not hyper-realistic. This book falls more in line with the "chick flicks" I used to watch with my mum - not the trashier ones, but something with a bit more depth and bite (Beaches comes to mind...I can't even really remember it but I feel like it fits that vibe). It's a bit silly at times but never cringe, and the emotional moments hit as well as the funnier ones. I found Phoebe and the bride's relationship particularly charming and a good representation of this in the narrative.

I found it quite refreshing that we enter Phoebe's life at the moment that is both her darkest and her turning point - I read another review that claimed her depression was "cured" too quickly but, while I see the point, it made sense to me with Phoebe's character - she's been suffering with depression for years, and clearly has been struggling all her life with some kind of social issues due to her unusual upbringing, but this is her light-bulb moment. The spot of light in the darkest of times. She realises she doesn't want to die, but she's still got that "fuck it, I've got nothing to lose, I do what I want now" energy, which allows her to break free of the fog and propel us into a rather fun story. The thing about depression is - even when it's clinical - it will be made much worse by your circumstances and your way of thinking (this is why therapy can help!), so if you're able to improve those, you will most likely improve your mental health (similar to how you heal quicker if you take time off work when you have the flu - you still have the flu, but you're looking after yourself). Depression is also weird it that it can just lift out of the blue sometimes, just as it can come out of nowhere and knock you flat...I feel like the shock of
the suicide attempt
ironically triggered a lift for Phoebe.

This wasn't a perfect novel. For one thing, while I enjoyed the dialogue, the prose was very basic (really need to know why the editor didn't cut at least half of the uses of the word "laugh" out...most of the time we could tell the characters were laughing from the dialogue!); for another, it was quite a predictable story, albeit one that still had a freshness to it thanks to its unapologetic frankness and care for its characters. (Side note: I loved all the wedding characters, but Matt and Mia...fuck those two.
I'm sorry, Mia, but you SHOULD apologise to Phoebe, actually. Usually I'd stick up for the "other woman", but Phoebe is not only your friend but your colleague, specifically one with a less secure job than you. It doesn't matter if her marriage was dead - you're still a dickhead. As for Matt? Garbage. Struggling with a spouse with depression is valid, and even wanting an out of the relationship is understandable, but he went about it all wrong and then - guess what - leaves Mia too. Alone with a baby (not his, but at this point we clearly see this is a man who wants a child but doesn't necessarily want to be a parent, unlike Phoebe, who is so sweet with Juice.) When he came back at the end I was like THROW HIM IN THE SEA.


This book has big Book Club energy. It also has big Netflix Adaptation in a Few Years energy. And you know what? I'd watch that. 

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emotional funny hopeful inspiring reflective fast-paced

Expand filter menu Content Warnings
dark emotional inspiring fast-paced
Plot or Character Driven: Character
Strong character development: Yes
Loveable characters: Yes
Diverse cast of characters: No
Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

I really enjoyed the book. Despite the heavy themes, the rich people problems lighten the mood, make  it somewhat fun und ridiculous, and the characters work well together.

I only wish the
suicidal thoughts/suicide attempt, heavy depression and miscarriage
were mentioned in the book's description somehow, to allow for an informed decision.

Expand filter menu Content Warnings
emotional funny hopeful reflective medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven: A mix
Strong character development: Yes
Loveable characters: Yes
Diverse cast of characters: No
Flaws of characters a main focus: Complicated

I truly almost DNFed this until I read the reviews on Storygraph and convinced myself there was something worth waiting for if I pushed through past Phoebe’s…. predicament. And boy oh boy was I rewarded with all the twist and turns that relationships - both romantic and platonic - provide us the experience of. We don’t get to decide that it will be a rollercoaster, but we do get to decide whether we lean into or out of it or not. And the choice to be different is sometimes enough to fill the journey. 

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funny hopeful inspiring reflective relaxing medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven: A mix
Strong character development: Yes
Loveable characters: Yes
Diverse cast of characters: No
Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

Expand filter menu Content Warnings
emotional funny hopeful reflective sad medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven: Character
Strong character development: Yes
Loveable characters: Complicated
Diverse cast of characters: No
Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

Expand filter menu Content Warnings
emotional funny hopeful reflective medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven: Character
Strong character development: Yes
Loveable characters: Complicated
Diverse cast of characters: No
Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

Expand filter menu Content Warnings
emotional funny hopeful medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven: A mix
Strong character development: Yes
Loveable characters: Yes
Diverse cast of characters: No
Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

If you're looking for a summer read that portrays an intimate connection of a woman experiencing depression and her journey of moving forward with her life as a unexpected guest for an upscale wedding at a fancy Rhode Island hotel, The Wedding People provides that and more. While the ending felt a bit lackluster at some parts, Espach's introspective writing and Phoebe's narrative of the events that take place over the wedding week gives reader an in-depth, emotional read that ultimately leaves readers inspired to make the most out of life. 

Expand filter menu Content Warnings
hopeful slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven: A mix
Strong character development: No
Loveable characters: No
Diverse cast of characters: No
Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

This book was described as a laugh out loud, romance…

It wasn’t funny, just odd. There wasn’t a hint of romance, it was just written that characters decided they liked eachother. 

The ending was rushed and honestly ruined the book for me, I feel like with the right ending this could’ve been a solid 4 stars. 

I enjoyed the chaos of it all, and wished I got to see more development of the characters or themes. There were many challenging themes but they were talked about very lightly, I didn’t really get any emotion from them. 

The ex husband coming to visit 2 years later was unnecessary and was honestly a waste of time.

There were no clear chapters? 

I honestly think this could’ve been a great book, but it was just very under developed. 

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