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sarahjulianna's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
medium-paced
Content Warnings
Graphic: Bullying, Dysphoria, and Transphobia
Minor: Deadnaming, Death, Fire/Fire injury, Grief, Medical content, Mental illness, Outing, Panic attacks/disorders, Religious bigotry, Self harm, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, and Suicide attempt
thebookishlibrarian's review against another edition
In the early years of Ryland’s life, Hillary and Jeff Wittington had to accept the fact that their daughter was deaf and would have to learn sign language in order to communicate with others. Once they got a handle on how to help Ryland acclimate to what would be her daily life, Hillary realized that Ryland wasn’t only different because she was deaf, but also because she was transgender. They knew it wouldn’t be easy because people aren’t always accepting of people who don’t fit “the norm,” but they did know that they would be supportive of their transgender child in the difficult journey.
katrinky's review against another edition
1.0
v happy this family provided their child with the love and support he needed and deserved through his transition!! it is still not a well-written book, and there are others on this topic that have done it better.
inthejar79's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
3.75
liralen's review against another edition
3.0
This was one of the 'readers also enjoyed' books for [b:Becoming Nicole|25893681|Becoming Nicole The Transformation of an American Family|Amy Ellis Nutt|https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1443476743s/25893681.jpg|45775590]. A lot of similarities—a kid who knew early that the way others were identifying said kid was wrong; parents who were resistant at first but came around relatively quickly; a mother who came around faster than the father; etc.
To be honest, although it was an interesting read, what I focused on more were the things that I just. didn't. get. The insistence of all the adults that a girl had to wear lots of pink and bows and so on, for example: they take the idea of a girl wearing Star Wars underwear, for example, very seriously. Granted, my upbringing was hippie-go-liberal, and my brother and sister and I shared a lot of clothing. My brother in particular did not conform to the gender norms that the people in this book would want him to: he occasionally wore dresses, or purple shirts with flowers on them, or nail polish; we all wore lots of unisex shorts—my brother's favourite pair was bright pink—and at one point my mother sewed my brother a jacket with fire trucks on it. 'What colour do you want?' she asked. 'Pink!' he said. So the jacket was neon pink, and the trucks were neon turquoise. My brother had longer hair than I did for years (we used to be mistaken for identical twin sisters), and I was in university before I learned to put my hair in a ponytail. And guess what? My brother, now in his twenties, is straight AF and stereotypically masculine. (I, also in my twenties, am decidedly not straight AF, but I'm a cisgender female who lives in skirts and dresses and can count on one hand the number of times I've worn jeans in public in the last year. How's that for gender/sexuality stereotyping?)
My point, if I even have one, is that I just find it utterly confounding that so many of the people represented in Raising Ryland find it problematic—find it scandalous, even—that a little girl might be a tomboy. (I'm talking about the period before the parents concluded that Ryland was indeed transgender, obviously.) This has to do less with the book and more with the stuff it covers, of course, but, but, why? What's wrong with being a tomboy? What's wrong, if you do identify as a girl, with not wanting to wear sparkly pink skirts and dresses? (What's wrong, if you do identify as a boy, with wanting to wear said skirts and dresses?)
Whittington notes, later on, that once they'd accepted Ryland's identity as a boy, he started to relax some of his reluctance about using 'girl' things—e.g., he would ride his sister's pink scooter. I would have loved to see that explored more. Makes me wonder whether it might have been easier or harder for him if the adults in his life had been more accepting of kids not playing to gender stereotypes (easier for obvious reasons, harder because it might have taken them longer to accept that he was a boy rather than a tomboy).
I don't say all this to criticise the parents; it sounds like they're doing the absolute best they can by their kids, and most of the above comments are much less about the book than they are about the general state of the way people view gender. Going back to the book, though, I'm just glad that Ryland has such strong advocates, because this is really only the beginning.
To be honest, although it was an interesting read, what I focused on more were the things that I just. didn't. get. The insistence of all the adults that a girl had to wear lots of pink and bows and so on, for example: they take the idea of a girl wearing Star Wars underwear, for example, very seriously. Granted, my upbringing was hippie-go-liberal, and my brother and sister and I shared a lot of clothing. My brother in particular did not conform to the gender norms that the people in this book would want him to: he occasionally wore dresses, or purple shirts with flowers on them, or nail polish; we all wore lots of unisex shorts—my brother's favourite pair was bright pink—and at one point my mother sewed my brother a jacket with fire trucks on it. 'What colour do you want?' she asked. 'Pink!' he said. So the jacket was neon pink, and the trucks were neon turquoise. My brother had longer hair than I did for years (we used to be mistaken for identical twin sisters), and I was in university before I learned to put my hair in a ponytail. And guess what? My brother, now in his twenties, is straight AF and stereotypically masculine. (I, also in my twenties, am decidedly not straight AF, but I'm a cisgender female who lives in skirts and dresses and can count on one hand the number of times I've worn jeans in public in the last year. How's that for gender/sexuality stereotyping?)
My point, if I even have one, is that I just find it utterly confounding that so many of the people represented in Raising Ryland find it problematic—find it scandalous, even—that a little girl might be a tomboy. (I'm talking about the period before the parents concluded that Ryland was indeed transgender, obviously.) This has to do less with the book and more with the stuff it covers, of course, but, but, why? What's wrong with being a tomboy? What's wrong, if you do identify as a girl, with not wanting to wear sparkly pink skirts and dresses? (What's wrong, if you do identify as a boy, with wanting to wear said skirts and dresses?)
Whittington notes, later on, that once they'd accepted Ryland's identity as a boy, he started to relax some of his reluctance about using 'girl' things—e.g., he would ride his sister's pink scooter. I would have loved to see that explored more. Makes me wonder whether it might have been easier or harder for him if the adults in his life had been more accepting of kids not playing to gender stereotypes (easier for obvious reasons, harder because it might have taken them longer to accept that he was a boy rather than a tomboy).
I don't say all this to criticise the parents; it sounds like they're doing the absolute best they can by their kids, and most of the above comments are much less about the book than they are about the general state of the way people view gender. Going back to the book, though, I'm just glad that Ryland has such strong advocates, because this is really only the beginning.
kather21's review against another edition
3.0
Much respect for this young family who chose to live in the reality of their situation and to their families that supported them.
tworthy's review against another edition
5.0
Wow, this is a great book to educate oneself on transgender youth. Those of us who have never parented a transgender child can't pretend to understand but the author of this book laid it all out there in such an honest and direct way. I applaud these parents for doing what is 110% right despite all their fear and society's lack of understanding.
wintermote's review against another edition
4.0
Interesting read. I appreciated the larger view of the authors life/marriage and family. It helped round out the story to have this larger context.