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3.72 AVERAGE
3.72 AVERAGE
The bonds office is gone after the events of Sizzling Sixteen, so Vinnie, Connie and the gang roll around in Mooner's bus, which is decorated like the Death Star and features a giant rendering of Lula and Stephanie, scantily clad and enhanced by PhotoShop, on the side. I want to own that bus.
Stephanie and Lula pursue a man who thinks he's a vampire and a man with a perpetual hard-on, and Stephanie is pursued by a crazy killer (or three). Aside from the bus, a lot of nothing happens. However, I did think the end was pretty brilliant.
Here's what else happens: Stephanie gets bangs and gets banged. A lot. She can't make a decision between Morelli and Ranger, so she just goes full-hog with both of them. We learn she's always been clumsy: "You flipped your baton into the trombone section during 'The Star-Spangled Banner'" although she and Lula actually do a decent job wrangling FTAs. Morelli's dog eats Stephanie's underwear. Ranger tells Stephanie "You're better at recognizing elements women find uncomfortable" which is totally not true because I (not that I'm a woman) find Ranger uncomfortable. The vampire gums Lula's neck, giving her a "vampire hickey" and making her think she's become a vampire too, craving Bloody Maries and rare hamburger meat. Lula also shoots off a toe, squirts someone with mustard, and riles up a bunch of cockfighting roosters. Vinnie and Mooner watch Hobbit porn.
Favorite quotes:
Lula: "I buy wine according to bottle design. After I get down the first glass it all tastes okay to me, so I figure you go for something classy to look at on the table." [YES. THIS.]
Stephanie: "Maybe we should by that [comic book]. How much is it?
Mooner: "Forty-five dollars."
Stephanie: "Are you kidding me? It's a comic book! I've bought cars for forty-five dollars." [I LOL'd at this so hard.]
Stephanie: "I could learn to cook."
Lula: "Sure you could. You could cook the crap out of shit." [Another LOL line.]
Lula: "Life sure is strange. One day everything is going along normal as can be, and then next thing you know your place of business is firebombed and Mr. Titty gets buried there." She thought about it for a couple of beats. "I suppose for us that is normal.
Lula: "You're out of shape. You don't eat enough doughnuts. I feel fine because I'm in condition. I could put just about anything in my body, and it only says oh boy, here we go again.
Lula: "As far as tumors go, it's not a real big tumor. It's one of them start tumors."
Stephanie and Lula pursue a man who thinks he's a vampire and a man with a perpetual hard-on, and Stephanie is pursued by a crazy killer (or three). Aside from the bus, a lot of nothing happens. However, I did think the end was pretty brilliant.
Spoiler
Stephanie has three men fighting over her, Ranger and Morelli and newcomer Dave, who is the most normal (i.e. "boring" to Stephanie) and can cook). But at the end of Smokin' Seventeen, she ends up with two men fighting over who gets to kill her. One of them is Dave, who turns out to be a crazy serial killer. Hey, at least he's not boring. She also has a woman who wants to kill her, Regina, by ramming her with her car, so someone shoots Dave, Regina runs over the shooter, and gets sent to jail. It's almost as ridiculous as Stephanie's seventeen-book-and-counting love triangle.Here's what else happens: Stephanie gets bangs and gets banged. A lot. She can't make a decision between Morelli and Ranger, so she just goes full-hog with both of them. We learn she's always been clumsy: "You flipped your baton into the trombone section during 'The Star-Spangled Banner'" although she and Lula actually do a decent job wrangling FTAs. Morelli's dog eats Stephanie's underwear. Ranger tells Stephanie "You're better at recognizing elements women find uncomfortable" which is totally not true because I (not that I'm a woman) find Ranger uncomfortable. The vampire gums Lula's neck, giving her a "vampire hickey" and making her think she's become a vampire too, craving Bloody Maries and rare hamburger meat. Lula also shoots off a toe, squirts someone with mustard, and riles up a bunch of cockfighting roosters. Vinnie and Mooner watch Hobbit porn.
Favorite quotes:
Lula: "I buy wine according to bottle design. After I get down the first glass it all tastes okay to me, so I figure you go for something classy to look at on the table." [YES. THIS.]
Stephanie: "Maybe we should by that [comic book]. How much is it?
Mooner: "Forty-five dollars."
Stephanie: "Are you kidding me? It's a comic book! I've bought cars for forty-five dollars." [I LOL'd at this so hard.]
Stephanie: "I could learn to cook."
Lula: "Sure you could. You could cook the crap out of shit." [Another LOL line.]
Lula: "Life sure is strange. One day everything is going along normal as can be, and then next thing you know your place of business is firebombed and Mr. Titty gets buried there." She thought about it for a couple of beats. "I suppose for us that is normal.
Lula: "You're out of shape. You don't eat enough doughnuts. I feel fine because I'm in condition. I could put just about anything in my body, and it only says oh boy, here we go again.
Lula: "As far as tumors go, it's not a real big tumor. It's one of them start tumors."
Perfect beach reading. Predictable, silly, lightweight.
I want to be Stephanie Plum in my next life :) Saturday night I sat down with a piece of my husband's birthday cake and started to read. It's been awhile since I laughed out loud at a book- as usual, Ms. Plum never fails to deliver. I loved that both Morelli and Ranger were major fixtures. Don't get me started on the vordo.
Stephanie Plum, bounty hunter extraordinaire is back for another round of crazy. Two bodies were found in the lot where Vinnie is building the new bond office after it blew up. It's not good for business so Stephanie tries to bring in the last few bonds before there's no business left. Given that she's a pretty bad bond enforcement officer, this doesn't work out too well and eventually, one of them is looking to kill her.
This book was as fun as expected. I always find that the endings wrap up too quickly in this series. The mystery is solved and then bam the book is over.
I also feel bad for Morelli, with Stephanie being so wishy-washy on who she loves and what she wants to do with their relationship.
This book was as fun as expected. I always find that the endings wrap up too quickly in this series. The mystery is solved and then bam the book is over.
I also feel bad for Morelli, with Stephanie being so wishy-washy on who she loves and what she wants to do with their relationship.
Eh...I think this series is getting old. I'm getting tired of Stephanie's lack of decision between Joe and Ranger. And the mystery was completely a non-mystery.
Another great Stephanie & Lulu adventure! I have to go to Trenton, NJ for work this week, too, so this was perfect timing!
Sometimes you just need a little light reading...very silly.
A couple of laugh out loud moments, but otherwise not the strongest entry in this series.
Janet Evanovich is great at dialogue, sexual intrigue and, well, ridiculously humorous situations. But there has been no plot development in the past couple novels. In fact, I think Stephanie's getting worse. Why does she fall for the same old tricks from stupid criminals every single time!? Why does she exhibit no emotional attachment to either Ranger or Joe? Why doesn't she even get better at handling a gun? I get it, we enjoyed her quirky behavior the first few times, but unless this series gets a revamp, I'm not terribly excited to read more...
I always love the Stephanie Plum books. Let's face it, they're certainly not going to increase my intellect, but they're fun. Looking forward to #18!