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cbreezie's review against another edition
4.0
If you’ve been traumatized by purity culture and now enjoy reading spicy books to cope clap your hands
annabutgonerogue's review against another edition
4.0
He was a boy (with commitment issues bc of his parents shitty marriage), she was a girl (with religious trauma), can I make it any more obvious
4
4
sarahnissan's review
inspiring
lighthearted
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
3.25
andidear's review
emotional
hopeful
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
efleisch's review against another edition
1.0
I love friends to lovers. I appreciate and adore that someone attempted to write a book that targetted and adressed how toxic purity culture could be. What I don't love is the need to go to a complete different extreme to prove a point.
I understand that for this main chracter, she needed to rebel and go outside the scope of her usual life. I understand that, and I can respect that. My issue is that she forced herself to do things that she didn't necessarily seem comfortable with, and I'm not sure I like the message that sends. But, I digress. My issue had nothing to do with her purity contract and her commentary on purity culture. I appreciated the refreshing honesty that purity culture IS toxic.
I didn't appreciate that it switched out one toxic way of thinking for another. It's okay that she chose to have sex before marriage. I make no judgement there. But, with the way that it is discussed, it makes it sound like any person who did grow up in purity culture and still choses to abstain from sex until marriage is somehow less evolved in their faith and still buying in to toxic thought processes. It isn't always about that. Sometimes it is a personal choice not bred from shame but instead a decision for oneself. It doesn't have to have anything to do with your "future spouse". You can make the decision for you and someone who does so should not be shamed and pitied for "buying into a toxic culture".
I am all for saying screw you to purity culture. I am all for the ginormous fuck you that this novel gives to a culture and a movement that feeds off making young girls find their worth in their purity and shame when they do anything that might threaten that.
But, at the same time, I cannot sit back and be condemned for making a personal choice just because it aligns with that of a terrible movement.
I also cannot sit back and appreciate or provide a positve book rating for a book that regularly associates and construes submissiveness or agreeableness with weakeness. Nothing about that is weak. Caring for others even when one is hurting is not weak. Putting others above yourself is not weak. There should not be a shame in being a demure and agreeable person who does not always speak their minds and give tongue lashings.
And one should certainly never celebrate a heroine who, in the process of trying to prove she wasn't "weak", acts in a toxic manner towards the person she supposedly loves. I understand not wanting to cave to another person's will. I understand wanting to make them earn your love. But when a person is clearly going through hell, and has laid their heart wide open for you, and you know good and well what you want from them, it is not okay for you to make them jump through hoops.
We need to protect our male leads with the same ferocity that we would protect our female leads. We cannot call out a toxic male lead and allow the same behaviors to be considered cute or healthy when a female lead performs them.
I understand that for this main chracter, she needed to rebel and go outside the scope of her usual life. I understand that, and I can respect that. My issue is that she forced herself to do things that she didn't necessarily seem comfortable with, and I'm not sure I like the message that sends. But, I digress. My issue had nothing to do with her purity contract and her commentary on purity culture. I appreciated the refreshing honesty that purity culture IS toxic.
I didn't appreciate that it switched out one toxic way of thinking for another. It's okay that she chose to have sex before marriage. I make no judgement there. But, with the way that it is discussed, it makes it sound like any person who did grow up in purity culture and still choses to abstain from sex until marriage is somehow less evolved in their faith and still buying in to toxic thought processes. It isn't always about that. Sometimes it is a personal choice not bred from shame but instead a decision for oneself. It doesn't have to have anything to do with your "future spouse". You can make the decision for you and someone who does so should not be shamed and pitied for "buying into a toxic culture".
I am all for saying screw you to purity culture. I am all for the ginormous fuck you that this novel gives to a culture and a movement that feeds off making young girls find their worth in their purity and shame when they do anything that might threaten that.
But, at the same time, I cannot sit back and be condemned for making a personal choice just because it aligns with that of a terrible movement.
I also cannot sit back and appreciate or provide a positve book rating for a book that regularly associates and construes submissiveness or agreeableness with weakeness. Nothing about that is weak. Caring for others even when one is hurting is not weak. Putting others above yourself is not weak. There should not be a shame in being a demure and agreeable person who does not always speak their minds and give tongue lashings.
And one should certainly never celebrate a heroine who, in the process of trying to prove she wasn't "weak", acts in a toxic manner towards the person she supposedly loves. I understand not wanting to cave to another person's will. I understand wanting to make them earn your love. But when a person is clearly going through hell, and has laid their heart wide open for you, and you know good and well what you want from them, it is not okay for you to make them jump through hoops.
We need to protect our male leads with the same ferocity that we would protect our female leads. We cannot call out a toxic male lead and allow the same behaviors to be considered cute or healthy when a female lead performs them.
cheyenne_mccurdy's review
dark
emotional
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
zowielikezoey's review against another edition
2.0
Had great themes and stuff that needs to be addressed as far as religious trauma, but it repeated a lot of the same thing. "purity culture" must have been said 50 million times throughout the book
reemreadsx's review against another edition
2.0
I understand the female lead was trying to gain *sexual* experiences, but it could’ve been done in a natural way. They could’ve gone clubbing or whatever. Instead her friend calls the MC’s random male friends up, and ask them to come over so she can make a move on them? It’s giving cult. V weird.