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3.29 AVERAGE
3.29 AVERAGE
Truthfully, I despised Nancy Luo since the start of the book. It’s as if her envy and hatred for Jamie Ruan had somehow become my own, except for the supposed “underdog” of Katie Zhao’s “How We Fall Apart”. I became angry that Nancy used her immigrant background as a crutch for her immorality, that she continuously led Alexander on whilst having a fling with the person who ruined his brother’s life, that she simply was undeserving of any type of sympathy for her heinous crimes.
Then, I realized a vital truth: I had seen myself in Nancy and hated her for it. The blood oath all Asian children have taken to make our parents’ sacrifices worthy runs through all our veins. I, too, understand what it’s like witnessing your own mother waste away, once full of dreams, now reduced to a statistic in the labor machine. I distinctly remember asking my mother what she had wanted to do growing up; how could a woman hellbent on survival and escaping poverty think of anything else except her next meal? I slowly learned to accept my tears at Nancy’s eternal devotion to her deadbeat father, to her academic success as a form of love, to her obsession with Peter because she was never considered pretty.
Besides my mixed opinion on Nancy and her grey moral compass, I developed a fondness for all the characters nonetheless. I felt as if each main character represented a common experiences Asian-Americans share. Akil’s desperate need to be funny in order to garner positive attention, his desire to prove he’s capable without using his background as a leverage. Krystal’s habit to act out just so her parents can pay attention to her. Alexander’s unwavering commitment to his family because to Asians, blood is thicker than water. Nancy’s reputation as a “good girl” because that’s the only way her parents could express affection. Jamie’s random, unprovoked bouts of anger because she wasn’t allowed to express her emotions in a healthy manner. It was all traits I found in myself, and my other Asian-American friends.
Despite all being one-dimensional at their core, I also felt the novel fell flat at the general reveal of the “Incident”. I still don’t understand how Alexander, Krystal, and Akil were involved as anything more than bystanders who should’ve honestly reported Jamie and Nancy for their literal murder (attempt). There were no clues to indicate it was Louisa in any way, so the reveal felt lackluster and boring. If Jamie had come back from the dead, that would’ve been somewhat more appropriate.
Overall, there’s nothing more to say except I put my standards too high and shouldn’t have expected the world of an Asian-centric dark academia book. While it did touch upon and tackle common issues Asian-Americans face within their families, education system, and general society, it could’ve been better and I hope they’re expanded upon if there’s a next book. Nonetheless, it’s easy to read and truly pulls at your heart strings if you’re Asian-American whose tired of being so lonely.
(Alexander deserves so, so much better.)
Then, I realized a vital truth: I had seen myself in Nancy and hated her for it. The blood oath all Asian children have taken to make our parents’ sacrifices worthy runs through all our veins. I, too, understand what it’s like witnessing your own mother waste away, once full of dreams, now reduced to a statistic in the labor machine. I distinctly remember asking my mother what she had wanted to do growing up; how could a woman hellbent on survival and escaping poverty think of anything else except her next meal? I slowly learned to accept my tears at Nancy’s eternal devotion to her deadbeat father, to her academic success as a form of love, to her obsession with Peter because she was never considered pretty.
Besides my mixed opinion on Nancy and her grey moral compass, I developed a fondness for all the characters nonetheless. I felt as if each main character represented a common experiences Asian-Americans share. Akil’s desperate need to be funny in order to garner positive attention, his desire to prove he’s capable without using his background as a leverage. Krystal’s habit to act out just so her parents can pay attention to her. Alexander’s unwavering commitment to his family because to Asians, blood is thicker than water. Nancy’s reputation as a “good girl” because that’s the only way her parents could express affection. Jamie’s random, unprovoked bouts of anger because she wasn’t allowed to express her emotions in a healthy manner. It was all traits I found in myself, and my other Asian-American friends.
Despite all being one-dimensional at their core, I also felt the novel fell flat at the general reveal of the “Incident”. I still don’t understand how Alexander, Krystal, and Akil were involved as anything more than bystanders who should’ve honestly reported Jamie and Nancy for their literal murder (attempt). There were no clues to indicate it was Louisa in any way, so the reveal felt lackluster and boring. If Jamie had come back from the dead, that would’ve been somewhat more appropriate.
Overall, there’s nothing more to say except I put my standards too high and shouldn’t have expected the world of an Asian-centric dark academia book. While it did touch upon and tackle common issues Asian-Americans face within their families, education system, and general society, it could’ve been better and I hope they’re expanded upon if there’s a next book. Nonetheless, it’s easy to read and truly pulls at your heart strings if you’re Asian-American whose tired of being so lonely.
(Alexander deserves so, so much better.)
2.49
i figured out who the proctor was on page 16, before the words 'the proctor' were even used. granted i didnt guess who they really were, but when i found out i wasnt shocked because i hadnt been invested because not enough information was given. just enough for it to be annoying not to know, not enough to figure it out or feel shocked by the outcome.
this book is pitched as one of us is lying meets crazy rich asians. i havent read either of them, but i know the plot of one of us is lying and ive seen the movie of crazy rich asians, so id say its very accurate. however, i would also like to add pretty little liars (at least the tv show, idk about the books) to that. this book has the plot and characters of one of us is lying and pretty little liars combined, just if they were crazy and rich and asian. its not a clever and original blend of these books like red queen is pretty original and clever blend of graceling, the hunger games, and the selection. at least while reading red queen i could enjoy it for what it was, even if it wasnt the greatest book ive ever read. while reading this, i couldnt stop thinking about its similarities to pretty little liars especially, but also the other two.
despite the entire unoriginality of this book, ill still probably read the sequel. id like to see where it goes. i wonder if it will also be entirely unoriginal.
i figured out who the proctor was on page 16, before the words 'the proctor' were even used. granted i didnt guess who they really were, but when i found out i wasnt shocked because i hadnt been invested because not enough information was given. just enough for it to be annoying not to know, not enough to figure it out or feel shocked by the outcome.
this book is pitched as one of us is lying meets crazy rich asians. i havent read either of them, but i know the plot of one of us is lying and ive seen the movie of crazy rich asians, so id say its very accurate. however, i would also like to add pretty little liars (at least the tv show, idk about the books) to that. this book has the plot and characters of one of us is lying and pretty little liars combined, just if they were crazy and rich and asian. its not a clever and original blend of these books like red queen is pretty original and clever blend of graceling, the hunger games, and the selection. at least while reading red queen i could enjoy it for what it was, even if it wasnt the greatest book ive ever read. while reading this, i couldnt stop thinking about its similarities to pretty little liars especially, but also the other two.
despite the entire unoriginality of this book, ill still probably read the sequel. id like to see where it goes. i wonder if it will also be entirely unoriginal.
I had really high hopes for this book but in the end it fell flat. Overbearing parents, high achieving kids, possible murder, so much potential! But the twist was incredibly unrealistic and the characters were mostly underdeveloped. The book oddly went on much longer after the twist than it needed too but still didn’t end in any kind of satisfying way. Maybe it’s setting things up for a sequel? Either way I enjoyed the beginning of the book but by midway through I wasn’t thrilled. I kind of wished I had DNF’d it but I was hopeful the twist and ending would be worth it.
Loved reading this book, loved these characters and watching them deal with this situation!
dark
mysterious
fast-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Plot
Strong character development:
No
Loveable characters:
N/A
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Complicated
dark
emotional
mysterious
sad
tense
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
A mix
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
Cry Count: 1
A surprising low for me.
No spice, this isn’t the kind of book for that.
If you liked Pretty Little Liars, you’ll love How We Fall Apart. This was such an interesting take on the secrets and experiences high pressure and high society puts on teens. I loved the exploration of and commentary on mental health and the surrounding stigmas common in society. It was such a beautiful and necessary addition to the plot of this book that took the characters and their actions from being a moderately-paced thriller to a psychological deep dive into why it could have truly been anyone and the lengths someone would go to be the best, as well as how we cave under pressure and the consequences of unhealthy coping mechanisms and a lack of support.
The mystery of this was easy to get into and believable when it came to Nancy and her friends’ attempts to solve it. It was interesting and the way we see the group piece things together alongside flashbacks that offer more background information and subtle hints to who The Proctor could be. It was also fun to see the Tip Tap messages at the beginning of each chapter and the slight sense of magical realism and scrutiny they added to the rumors and ghost stories. The ghosts see everything, so, of course, Jamie and what they did can haunt them.
The characters were beautifully nuanced and I liked that Nancy was somewhat morally grey. Reading this from her perspective was great because we got to see how her mind worked and what motivated her throughout. However, it does make for a somewhat unreliable narrator because we see it as no one understands her because she doesn’t believe anyone feels the same pressure she does or herself the way she does. Overall giving this an amazing perspective that added to the feel of the narrative and a sense of urgency.
I really liked the way this was written. It was entirely binge-able: just so easy to get into and then all of a sudden have read thirty pages. No complaints, just excited for book two!
A surprising low for me.
No spice, this isn’t the kind of book for that.
If you liked Pretty Little Liars, you’ll love How We Fall Apart. This was such an interesting take on the secrets and experiences high pressure and high society puts on teens. I loved the exploration of and commentary on mental health and the surrounding stigmas common in society. It was such a beautiful and necessary addition to the plot of this book that took the characters and their actions from being a moderately-paced thriller to a psychological deep dive into why it could have truly been anyone and the lengths someone would go to be the best, as well as how we cave under pressure and the consequences of unhealthy coping mechanisms and a lack of support.
The mystery of this was easy to get into and believable when it came to Nancy and her friends’ attempts to solve it. It was interesting and the way we see the group piece things together alongside flashbacks that offer more background information and subtle hints to who The Proctor could be. It was also fun to see the Tip Tap messages at the beginning of each chapter and the slight sense of magical realism and scrutiny they added to the rumors and ghost stories. The ghosts see everything, so, of course, Jamie and what they did can haunt them.
The characters were beautifully nuanced and I liked that Nancy was somewhat morally grey. Reading this from her perspective was great because we got to see how her mind worked and what motivated her throughout. However, it does make for a somewhat unreliable narrator because we see it as no one understands her because she doesn’t believe anyone feels the same pressure she does or herself the way she does. Overall giving this an amazing perspective that added to the feel of the narrative and a sense of urgency.
I really liked the way this was written. It was entirely binge-able: just so easy to get into and then all of a sudden have read thirty pages. No complaints, just excited for book two!
Content Warnings
Graphic: Addiction, Bullying, Child death, Death, Drug abuse, Suicide, Stalking, Fire/Fire injury, Toxic friendship, Abandonment
Minor: Child abuse, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Toxic relationship
pretty mediocre twists and writing. it's on me that i expected a more exciting story because i read the tags that said "mystery" and "thriller", and those two aren't my usual genre preferences so it was another new experience and i was hoping to be welcomed by a good story at least. this book kept me guessing and guessing yes it's true, but in the end, the revealing part was poorly executed and i couldn't shake the feeling that i was disappointed. besides, the background story of literally everything sounded a bit feeble and not strong enough to be added to the plot, it made me less assured and doubtful. thanks to the gripping start of the book, it dissuaded me from giving a 1 star rating. although i'm not familiar with mystery books, i still think that hwfa lacked some thrilling points that many mystery books have, it'd be much better if it has well-built plot and twists.
*Trigger Warning: depictions of abuse, self-harm, violence, parental neglect, panic attacks, drug use, mental illness, inappropriate student/teacher relationship, racism, and suicidal thoughts*
What would you do if someone found out your deepest darkest secret and is blackmailing you? Nancy Luo is shocked when her former best friend Jamie Ruan (aka the top ranked student at Sinclair Prep) is found dead. Nancy has always been second place to Jamie. They were more frenemies than actual friends. Jamie was the top rank student... terrorizing people, destroying reputations, and even taking things further to remain at the top. When her father was arrested for embezzlement all her friends left her but she still remained the top student. Nancy’s mother had worked as Jamie’s maid before Jamie’s father was arrested... but now that Jamie is gone soon Nancy finds that the top is open for grabs... too bad someone else has different plans. Nancy and her friends find an anonymous poster calling themselves “the Proctor” who is threatening to reveal all their dark secrets if they do not confess to what happened 2 years ago... to a student named Em who use to be their friend. If her secret gets out... then its all over for her and her friends. Soon they find themselves racing against the clock to uncover who the Proctor is and trying to keep their reputations in tact.
This story was basically a recast asian-American version of Gossip Girl/Pretty Little Liars, down to the student-teacher relationship, the anonymous blackmailer posting their secrets, and friends to enemies relationships. If I’m being completely honest I was on the side of the Proctor and couldn’t really find myself liking Nancy or Jamie As an Asian myself, I completely understood the pressure that comes from your family, from yourself, to be the best, to do whatever it takes to try and not disappoint anyone and just make your parents struggle worth it. I understood where Nancy was coming from, from the part of you wanting something that was just a little self destructive because being perfect isn’t that great. But on the other hand.... eh. Overall the story is only the first in a series and is left with an ending that definitely means theres a sequel as there is still so much more apparently that needs to be explored. If you enjoy stories like How We Fall Apart, Pretty Little Liars, Gossip Girl, The Perfectionists, then this is right for you!
*Thanks Netgalley and Bloomsbury USA Children's Books for sending me an arc in exchange for an honest review*
What would you do if someone found out your deepest darkest secret and is blackmailing you? Nancy Luo is shocked when her former best friend Jamie Ruan (aka the top ranked student at Sinclair Prep) is found dead. Nancy has always been second place to Jamie. They were more frenemies than actual friends. Jamie was the top rank student... terrorizing people, destroying reputations, and even taking things further to remain at the top. When her father was arrested for embezzlement all her friends left her but she still remained the top student. Nancy’s mother had worked as Jamie’s maid before Jamie’s father was arrested... but now that Jamie is gone soon Nancy finds that the top is open for grabs... too bad someone else has different plans. Nancy and her friends
Spoiler
( Alexander- a fellow scholarship student whose’s brother use to be a top student before he was expelled, Akil- a track star and top ranked student who is dependent on pills to maintain his top spot, and Krystal-a fashion icon at the school who was a delinquent in her past)Spoiler
Nancy has been in a secret relationship with her teacher who is also Jamie's cousinThis story was basically a recast asian-American version of Gossip Girl/Pretty Little Liars, down to the student-teacher relationship, the anonymous blackmailer posting their secrets, and friends to enemies relationships. If I’m being completely honest I was on the side of the Proctor and couldn’t really find myself liking Nancy or Jamie
Spoiler
I mean wouldn't you also want revenge against the people who LITERALLY TRIED TO KILL YOU??*Thanks Netgalley and Bloomsbury USA Children's Books for sending me an arc in exchange for an honest review*
mysterious
tense
fast-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Plot
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Complicated
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
This wasn't the greatest mystery but it was still an enjoyable and fast read. Despite attending the most prestigious prep school in the United States, the characters weren't exactly the most intelligent and the plot was at times ridiculous. I wish Zhao had expanded more on the secondary characters (Alexander, Krystal, and Akil) because we really don't know much about them besides their secrets. Nancy was not a likable main character and despite her underlying hate/love friendship with Jamie, she was basically a toned down clone of Jamie. I will still read the next book since this one ends on a cliffhanger and I want to see what happens next. Thank you Edelweiss for an ARC.