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reallife_kazbrekker's review against another edition
dark
mysterious
sad
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
2.5
For some reason I didn't like this as much as I expected to, given how many 5 star reviews there are of this book...
Like the writing was quite good, but other than that? I don't know I just didn't fully connect to it I guess. Also it read quite fast, which is a big plus in my dyslexic opinion.
Like the writing was quite good, but other than that? I don't know I just didn't fully connect to it I guess. Also it read quite fast, which is a big plus in my dyslexic opinion.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual content
Moderate: Terminal illness, Violence, and Outing
peachidreams's review against another edition
emotional
inspiring
reflective
relaxing
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Pedophilia and Classism
Moderate: Homophobia, Drug use, and Sexual content
Minor: Antisemitism and Alcohol
james1star's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
5.0
Ummm… perfection. Like wow I was so hooked and invested, it was soo good. We follow our protagonist Ludwik who is writing a second person account to a summertime lover, Janusz set in 1980’s socialist Poland. I don’t want to explain any more but there’s obviously lots of stuff that happen and other characters and yhh - read it to know more. My only issue was in the middle there was maybe a little too much of a political storyline that I wasn’t expecting or in want of but it didn’t ruin it and the ending just gripped every part of me.
The plot I was here for but oh my the characters. I loved them, well Ludwik mainly but like ughh I needed good things to come his way. Also the writing and world building is exceptional, it’s so transportive, rich and vivid with detailed descriptions of places, people and scenes. For the first time I actually used a pencil to underline points that stood out to me and I have quotes and passages saved from nearly every page - it was soooo good. Let me share some:
‘And yet, it occurs to me now that we can never run with our lies indefinitely. Sooner or later we are forced to confront their darkness. We can choose the when, not the if. And the longer we wait, the more painful and uncertain it will be.‘
‘…we had no manual, no one to show us the way. Not one example of a happy couple made up of boys. How were we supposed to know what to do? Did we even believe that we deserve to get away with happiness?‘
‘Some things cannot be erased through silence. Some people have that power over you, whether you like it or not... Some people, some events, make you lose your head. They’re like guillotines, cutting your life in two, the dead and alive, the before and after.’
‘Shame, heavy and alive, had materialised, built from buried fears and desires.’
‘ I had always liked the act of leaving, the expanse between departure and arrival when you’re seemingly nowhere, defined by another kind of time.’
‘I had never seen you before - not consciously, anyway. Yet my mind felt strangely relieved, as if it had recognised someone.’
And I have so many more, exceptional wording with so much meaning in Jedrowski’s prose.
There was also so much realness to the story and characters. As a queer person, there will be so many things that speak to the heart of your psyche as Ludwik examines many things in his life like internalised homophobia, feeling othered from those around us even if nothing has happened yet, having thoughts and desires turn straight to shame, different timelines of experiences, this idea of ‘no manual’ or even if we are deserving of freedom, a life where we can just be. Not to get soppy or anything but it speaks to you and these connections are universal and timeless (for now anyway) - likeness can be drawn and it means so much.
I could talk about this book forever but Yhh please read it. It’s so good!!
The plot I was here for but oh my the characters. I loved them, well Ludwik mainly but like ughh I needed good things to come his way. Also the writing and world building is exceptional, it’s so transportive, rich and vivid with detailed descriptions of places, people and scenes. For the first time I actually used a pencil to underline points that stood out to me and I have quotes and passages saved from nearly every page - it was soooo good. Let me share some:
‘And yet, it occurs to me now that we can never run with our lies indefinitely. Sooner or later we are forced to confront their darkness. We can choose the when, not the if. And the longer we wait, the more painful and uncertain it will be.‘
‘…we had no manual, no one to show us the way. Not one example of a happy couple made up of boys. How were we supposed to know what to do? Did we even believe that we deserve to get away with happiness?‘
‘Some things cannot be erased through silence. Some people have that power over you, whether you like it or not... Some people, some events, make you lose your head. They’re like guillotines, cutting your life in two, the dead and alive, the before and after.’
‘Shame, heavy and alive, had materialised, built from buried fears and desires.’
‘ I had always liked the act of leaving, the expanse between departure and arrival when you’re seemingly nowhere, defined by another kind of time.’
‘I had never seen you before - not consciously, anyway. Yet my mind felt strangely relieved, as if it had recognised someone.’
And I have so many more, exceptional wording with so much meaning in Jedrowski’s prose.
There was also so much realness to the story and characters. As a queer person, there will be so many things that speak to the heart of your psyche as Ludwik examines many things in his life like internalised homophobia, feeling othered from those around us even if nothing has happened yet, having thoughts and desires turn straight to shame, different timelines of experiences, this idea of ‘no manual’ or even if we are deserving of freedom, a life where we can just be. Not to get soppy or anything but it speaks to you and these connections are universal and timeless (for now anyway) - likeness can be drawn and it means so much.
I could talk about this book forever but Yhh please read it. It’s so good!!
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual content
Moderate: Homophobia
Minor: Grief, Mental illness, Alcoholism, Death, Police brutality, Suicidal thoughts, Antisemitism, Drug use, and Misogyny
josman's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Homophobia and Sexual content
Moderate: Adult/minor relationship
Minor: Drug use and Suicidal thoughts
readingthroughinfinity's review against another edition
challenging
dark
reflective
sad
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
3.5
Content Warnings
Moderate: Homophobia, Police brutality, Sexual content, and Violence
bill369's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? N/A
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? N/A
4.75
I've heard many great comments on this book. Therefore, I've read it.
I understand the situation of both main characters. They each got their struggle and are trying to do their best. I like them both. I admire Ludwik for his critical mind. He fights for freedom while being aware of the consequences these actions may resolve in. Every action and conversation counts. On the other hand, I admire Janusz for his shrewdness. He knows who to be friends with to achieve advantages. He's aware of how to cheat the system. Their relationship is incredibly beautiful. I love all the aspects of it. Despite the rather tragic end, I suppose it's my favourite fictional couple to exist. The positive part was amazing. Their relationship woke so many of my emotions. I was joyful, shocked, angry and sad. Everything about it is perfect. I simply adore them. The other characters seem great too. I got nothing to complain about.
Two homosexuals in communist Poland. The historic depiction is fabulous. I've learned quite a few new facts while mainly focusing on the relationship. The book shows the need for connections and how the lives of „equal“ people differ. For instance, without connexions, there's a minimal chance of getting some more luxurious goods because of their constant shortage. More importantly, it shows the ubiquitous homophobia. Despite being illegal it would cause them a lot of trouble therefore they had to hide. As consequence, they felt like there was something wrong with them. They were told to feel that way. And I find that just horrible. It's so unfair people are looked down on just because of who they love. Not to forget, the always present fear of loneliness. The impossibility of thinking their love could work out. How could they believe in such a thing if they didn't know anyone for whom it did work out?
Page 11, powerful others.
Občas nad člověkem mají jiní lidé moc, ať se mu to líbí, nebo ne. Teď si to začínám uvědomovat. Z některých lidí, některých událostí prostě ztratíš hlavu. Jsou jako gilotina, rozseknou ti život na dvě půlky, živou a mrtvou, předtím a potom.
Page 39, the neverending fear of loneliness.
Nejvíce jsem se děsil toho, že skončím sám. Přesto si část mého já byla jistá, že přesně takhle skončím a že to je to nejhorší, co se může někomu přihodit.
Page 175, calm but on the werge of a breakdown the plus fear of loneliness.
Zvláštním způsobem jsem však zůstával klidný. Ten klid, říkám si, byl taky jistou formou šoku. Pokud bych něčemu dovolil uniknout ven, celého by mě to přemohlo. Jako tísnivá, zvětšující se, zívající propast tu byl vždypřítomný strach, hrůza z toho, že budu žít sám. Ještě dnes cítím chvění toho strachu, jeho ozvěnu mám pevně zakořeněnou v konečcích prstů a také v tom malém beztížném prostoru v mém podbříšku, jen několik centimetrů nad rozkrokem.
Page 197, we can't beg others to love us.
Protože jsi měl pravdu, když jsi říkál, že lidé nám vždy nemohou dát, co po nich chceme, že je nemůžeme žádat, aby nás milovali tak, jak chceme. Nikomu to nelze vyčítat. A nepříznivé okolnosti proti nám byly od samého počátku: neměli jsme žádný manuál, nikdo nám neukázal cestu. Neměli jsme jediný příklad šťastného páru, v němž byli dva chlapci. Jak jsme měli vědět, co dělat? Věřili jsme vůbec, že by nám štěstí mohlo vyjít?
Page 198, desire to be cared for.
Chci boršč a pirožky a teplý makový koláč a cítím tu obrovskou dutou prázdnotu uvnitř sebe, touhu po teplu. Ale vůbec to nebolí, spíš je to jako nějaký příslib.
Although the end of the book is sad and I did cry while I was reading the book I wasn't crying while reading this part in particular.
Master's work. I adore this book. I love it very dearly. I'm really glad I read it.
I understand the situation of both main characters. They each got their struggle and are trying to do their best. I like them both. I admire Ludwik for his critical mind. He fights for freedom while being aware of the consequences these actions may resolve in. Every action and conversation counts. On the other hand, I admire Janusz for his shrewdness. He knows who to be friends with to achieve advantages. He's aware of how to cheat the system. Their relationship is incredibly beautiful. I love all the aspects of it. Despite the rather tragic end, I suppose it's my favourite fictional couple to exist. The positive part was amazing. Their relationship woke so many of my emotions. I was joyful, shocked, angry and sad. Everything about it is perfect. I simply adore them. The other characters seem great too. I got nothing to complain about.
Two homosexuals in communist Poland. The historic depiction is fabulous. I've learned quite a few new facts while mainly focusing on the relationship. The book shows the need for connections and how the lives of „equal“ people differ. For instance, without connexions, there's a minimal chance of getting some more luxurious goods because of their constant shortage. More importantly, it shows the ubiquitous homophobia. Despite being illegal it would cause them a lot of trouble therefore they had to hide. As consequence, they felt like there was something wrong with them. They were told to feel that way. And I find that just horrible. It's so unfair people are looked down on just because of who they love. Not to forget, the always present fear of loneliness. The impossibility of thinking their love could work out. How could they believe in such a thing if they didn't know anyone for whom it did work out?
Page 11, powerful others.
Page 39, the neverending fear of loneliness.
Page 175, calm but on the werge of a breakdown the plus fear of loneliness.
Page 197, we can't beg others to love us.
Page 198, desire to be cared for.
Although the end of the book is sad and I did cry while I was reading the book I wasn't crying while reading this part in particular.
Master's work. I adore this book. I love it very dearly. I'm really glad I read it.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Forced institutionalization, Homophobia, Medical content, and Sexual content
Minor: Antisemitism, Abandonment, Alcohol, Death of parent, and Drug use
domreadsb00ks's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? N/A
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death of parent, Drug use, Toxic relationship, Homophobia, Adult/minor relationship, and Sexual content
garynoplastie's review against another edition
emotional
sad
tense
medium-paced
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Drug use, Outing, and Alcohol
Moderate: Sexual content, Infidelity, Panic attacks/disorders, Adult/minor relationship, Police brutality, War, and Homophobia
Minor: Toxic relationship, Violence, Vomit, Death of parent, Suicidal thoughts, and Torture
thewordsdevourer's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
4.0
i went into this book knowing it would probably punch me in the gut, yet here i am, devastated and ever hateful of homophobia and repression after finishing it.
swimming in the dark shows life struggles in socialist poland, which are made doubly more complicated by being gay, as our main character(s) are. it has complex characters who dont pander to stereotypes or expectations. i also rly enjoy the depiction of life in poland at that time, esp ludwik's mounting frustration and fury built up from seemingly minute things to larger issues - that passport bureau scene is tense and excellent - showing the whole big picture of it all. his positionality and views on ways of survival that differ from janusz make for a nuanced exploration of both their relationship and country as well. hate making comparisons, but this is indeed reminiscent of cmbyn, albeit w/ much higher stakes.
i only wish the main couple's happier times were longer/shown more; we see their struggles but not enough of the good moments that bring them tgt in the first place and hold them through tougher times. the book's middle part - almost a montage of all the shitty aspects of life - somehow isnt as memorable; like i know what happened but am unable for the life of me rmb the order they happened in.
nonetheless, this is a beautifully written book full of ambivalence that's able to weave simple words w/ striking metaphor and imagery into literary art; i underlined at least a couple phrases and sentences on almost every pg. ludwik's loves in this book - for/ janusz, for his own country, and for freedom - are complex, emotional, and heartbreaking - the last couple pgs gut-wrenching - and made me cry. this is def a book to read for beautiful writing and if one wants to feel both sad and angry.
swimming in the dark shows life struggles in socialist poland, which are made doubly more complicated by being gay, as our main character(s) are. it has complex characters who dont pander to stereotypes or expectations. i also rly enjoy the depiction of life in poland at that time, esp ludwik's mounting frustration and fury built up from seemingly minute things to larger issues - that passport bureau scene is tense and excellent - showing the whole big picture of it all. his positionality and views on ways of survival that differ from janusz make for a nuanced exploration of both their relationship and country as well. hate making comparisons, but this is indeed reminiscent of cmbyn, albeit w/ much higher stakes.
i only wish the main couple's happier times were longer/shown more; we see their struggles but not enough of the good moments that bring them tgt in the first place and hold them through tougher times. the book's middle part - almost a montage of all the shitty aspects of life - somehow isnt as memorable; like i know what happened but am unable for the life of me rmb the order they happened in.
nonetheless, this is a beautifully written book full of ambivalence that's able to weave simple words w/ striking metaphor and imagery into literary art; i underlined at least a couple phrases and sentences on almost every pg. ludwik's loves in this book - for/ janusz, for his own country, and for freedom - are complex, emotional, and heartbreaking - the last couple pgs gut-wrenching - and made me cry. this is def a book to read for beautiful writing and if one wants to feel both sad and angry.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Homophobia
Moderate: Sexual content, Adult/minor relationship, and Police brutality
Minor: Death, Death of parent, Abandonment, and Antisemitism
nikyas's review against another edition
emotional
inspiring
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Content Warnings
Moderate: Sexual content
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