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lhgluke's review
3.0
I feel like this book changed halfway through into a completely different book.
While I think Matthew does a good job of describing some underlying problems and issues that a lot of LGBTQ+ people have due to being in the closet and being ashamed for a lot of our lives, he then seems to lose his way a bit when delving into more detailed information about addiction and recovery.
I understand that the link between all types of addiction and other harmful effects an LGBTQ+ person may have after a less than perfect upbringing (especially as Matthew explains that connection so well in the early part of the book), he’s not a doctor or healthcare professional, and so the advice and information given about recovery is very quote -heavy and not exactly groundbreaking.
This is not to take away from the place of love it no doubt comes from, but I personally preferred when he was flexing his journalist muscles and telling me about real life people, showing with proof and stats how a certain type of upbringing can lead to a certain type of problem etc, I just wish he stayed with that rather than veering off course with far too much addiction and recovery information.
I still enjoyed the book and would recommend it to LGBTQ+ people, even if it was a bit too U.K.-focused too.
While I think Matthew does a good job of describing some underlying problems and issues that a lot of LGBTQ+ people have due to being in the closet and being ashamed for a lot of our lives, he then seems to lose his way a bit when delving into more detailed information about addiction and recovery.
I understand that the link between all types of addiction and other harmful effects an LGBTQ+ person may have after a less than perfect upbringing (especially as Matthew explains that connection so well in the early part of the book), he’s not a doctor or healthcare professional, and so the advice and information given about recovery is very quote -heavy and not exactly groundbreaking.
This is not to take away from the place of love it no doubt comes from, but I personally preferred when he was flexing his journalist muscles and telling me about real life people, showing with proof and stats how a certain type of upbringing can lead to a certain type of problem etc, I just wish he stayed with that rather than veering off course with far too much addiction and recovery information.
I still enjoyed the book and would recommend it to LGBTQ+ people, even if it was a bit too U.K.-focused too.
emma_book_life's review against another edition
4.0
A really important read. Not only for gay men, or even the LGBT community, but in general for anyone who wants to understand more about the history of the LGBT community in the UK and and anyone who either has or wants to understand more about troubles with addictions and undesirable, unhealthy behaviours and patterns.
clairewilsonleeds's review against another edition
4.0
Found a lot in this I could relate to, despite being hetero. Very interesting thoughts about manifestations of shame, addiction and dangerous behaviours. Raised a lot of questions about how school handle LGBT issues, and how society impact on the physical and mental well-being of LGBT people. A lot of insights into specific problems with the gay scene, but still kept a positive tone (I felt).
bruhbruh's review against another edition
informative
inspiring
slow-paced
4.25
Content Warnings
Graphic: Homophobia, Suicide, and Drug abuse
linnvf's review against another edition
5.0
This is a miracle of a book. It will, quite literally, save and change lives.
Like Johann Hari's books on depression and addiction, The Shining and Doctor Sleep by Stephen King, I will add this to the list of books that I will recommend to anyone who has ever been sick and tired of being sick and tired, no matter why.
I wish I could give more than five stars, this was fantastic.
Like Johann Hari's books on depression and addiction, The Shining and Doctor Sleep by Stephen King, I will add this to the list of books that I will recommend to anyone who has ever been sick and tired of being sick and tired, no matter why.
I wish I could give more than five stars, this was fantastic.
brnycx's review
3.0
Despite the subtitle 'How to be Gay and Happy', this isn't very happy reading. It's more about the psychological damage being LGBT in today's society does to you. Although I really don't want to say anything bad about this book because it clearly is very necessary and has had a positive impact on some of those who read it, I did find it a bit repetitive, anecdotal and clunky in parts. I would also have loved more focus on the 'happy' bit, which Todd does do in a few chapters at the end - I found the one on how society could be better improved to help LGBT people particularly fascinating, and worthy of a book by itself!
The one thing that has stuck with me since reading it, however, is the impact my growing up gay has had. In the book, Todd quotes a psychologist who basically says the experience of growing up gay is akin to "emotional abuse". While I know I was lucky for a gay kid - I had a very happy, settled childhood and wasn't bullied particularly badly - it's made me reassess the significance of it. For example, as a child I learnt that I was different, to be ashamed of a part of myself, and then how to put on an act to cover it. I watched as LGBT people were mocked and made fun of. On TV I saw LGBT characters get thrown out by their families to die prematurely of AIDs, homophobic violence etc. It made me kind of terrified to go through puberty and to grow up. I think on some level it also prevented me from forming closer bonds with friends because I was spending so much time putting on an act for everyone. It was lonely. A lot of that, and more, has followed me through to my adult life. It's something I'm working on.
The one thing that has stuck with me since reading it, however, is the impact my growing up gay has had. In the book, Todd quotes a psychologist who basically says the experience of growing up gay is akin to "emotional abuse". While I know I was lucky for a gay kid - I had a very happy, settled childhood and wasn't bullied particularly badly - it's made me reassess the significance of it. For example, as a child I learnt that I was different, to be ashamed of a part of myself, and then how to put on an act to cover it. I watched as LGBT people were mocked and made fun of. On TV I saw LGBT characters get thrown out by their families to die prematurely of AIDs, homophobic violence etc. It made me kind of terrified to go through puberty and to grow up. I think on some level it also prevented me from forming closer bonds with friends because I was spending so much time putting on an act for everyone. It was lonely. A lot of that, and more, has followed me through to my adult life. It's something I'm working on.
miserable_biscuit's review against another edition
3.0
This was a strange book. Not strange as in weird, but strange in that it presents itself as one thing while it is, in reality, something quite different. Billed as ‘part memoir, part ground-breaking polemic, it looks beneath the shiny facade of contemporary gay culture and asks if gay people are as happy as they could be’. The description continues:
Sounds quite informative and empowering, right? Well, that’s not really what this book gives: in fact, the first two thirds are a relentless and in-depth examination of some serious and dangerous issues. The issues Todd explores here—from social pressures to childhood abuse, substance abuse to poor body image—are all hugely important in LGBT communities.
But I have a few issues with how Todd deals with them.
My main problem is that I think Todd confuses his personal experiences and internal revelations as having universal application. If he wrote and presented this book more as a biography and less of a sociological commentary on the gay experience I would have more patience for it. As it stands, he makes a lot of unfounded assertions that he does not have the qualifications to make. He’s a journalist and commentator, not a psychologist or social scientist. Here is one example (emphasis added):
Another one (emphasis added):
These kinds of unfounded leaps are peppered throughout the book. Rather than adding a sheen of authority to Todd’s words, for me these kinds of assertions made me question whether I should continue reading the book at all.
Another issue I had, somewhat related to the above, was the way Todd seemed to work to fit facts and ideas into his neat narrative. One particularly galling part was where he was dismissive of industries, art, and literature that have been traditionally popular with gay men. These include industries related to performance, theatre, glamour and artifice. He attempts to explain this away:
He continues this bizarre polemic when he derides fantasy as being ‘often the first way we disassociate from the world around us’. After this, he tries to explain why the fandoms of shows like Doctor Who are predominantly gay:
Of course Todd doesn’t agree: it doesn’t fit the narrative he was trying to push that LGBT people latch on to things like this just to escape. They couldn’t possibly like these things for another, more positive reason, right? Again, I think he imagines his own experiences and reactions as being somehow universal.
Lastly, I had a serious issue with what should have been the capstone of this book: the part where he purports to outline how to break free of the straightjacket of heteronormativity and all the associated baggage, towards a new way of living.
Simply put: there was nothing of real substance here. It was just a series of sentiments in big letters stating things like ‘A revolution is needed in the professional understanding of the mental-health implications of growing up LGBT’, followed by a paragraph or two of vague, hand-wavy ideas to make this a reality.
I started this review by saying it was a strange book. I’d like to amend that now by saying it was strange and disappointing. The issues he talks about are so important, but I feel like he’s added nothing to the discussion here. I appreciated his honesty throughout the book (especially where he acknowledges his own failures and unflattering moments) but I don’t think it goes anywhere substantial. We know there are huge issues in LGBT communities; what we need now are quality contributions to the idea pool of solutions.
Meticulously researched, courageous and life-affirming, Straight Jacket offers invaluable practical advice on how to overcome a range of difficult issues. It also recognizes that this is a watershed moment, a piercing wake-up-call-to-arms for the gay and wider community to acknowledge the importance of supporting all young people – and helping older people to transform their experience and finally get the lives they really want.
Sounds quite informative and empowering, right? Well, that’s not really what this book gives: in fact, the first two thirds are a relentless and in-depth examination of some serious and dangerous issues. The issues Todd explores here—from social pressures to childhood abuse, substance abuse to poor body image—are all hugely important in LGBT communities.
But I have a few issues with how Todd deals with them.
My main problem is that I think Todd confuses his personal experiences and internal revelations as having universal application. If he wrote and presented this book more as a biography and less of a sociological commentary on the gay experience I would have more patience for it. As it stands, he makes a lot of unfounded assertions that he does not have the qualifications to make. He’s a journalist and commentator, not a psychologist or social scientist. Here is one example (emphasis added):
A man coming towards us with a knife is a threat we can deal with – fight him or get away from him – and the threat passes. But what I believe happens when a child has been self-shamed (for whatever reason: bullied, abused, grown up in poverty, etc.) is that subconsciously he has perceived himself as the threat, so the threat is something from which he can never escape: he stays stuck in constant fight or flight mode.
Another one (emphasis added):
My instinct is that childhood trauma leads to over-stimulation of the fight or flight reaction and hyper-vigilance, which in turn affects the child’s developing limbic system, leaving it and the child permanently more oversensitive and easily overwhelmed. I have no scientific proof of this. Smallwood may well be right that some are naturally more sensitive from birth. It’s just my instinct, drawn from my own experience.
These kinds of unfounded leaps are peppered throughout the book. Rather than adding a sheen of authority to Todd’s words, for me these kinds of assertions made me question whether I should continue reading the book at all.
Another issue I had, somewhat related to the above, was the way Todd seemed to work to fit facts and ideas into his neat narrative. One particularly galling part was where he was dismissive of industries, art, and literature that have been traditionally popular with gay men. These include industries related to performance, theatre, glamour and artifice. He attempts to explain this away:
… at a time when we are overwhelmed by the danger of our existence, clutching for a rope to pull us out of the pit of fear, this shiny, unreal, neon world of artifice, of glamour, of making something beautiful out of the dullness offers us a way to escape – to disconnect from reality.
He continues this bizarre polemic when he derides fantasy as being ‘often the first way we disassociate from the world around us’. After this, he tries to explain why the fandoms of shows like Doctor Who are predominantly gay:
Russell believes the escapism narrative put forward to explain science fiction’s appeal to gay people is negative because it implies terror. He believes instead that it is attractive because gay people are freer, happier, more able to accept colour and campness – but I don’t agree. In our teenage years we are desperate for connection but we know that it is too dangerous. I think we are drawn to Doctor Who precisely because he is a stoic loner, emotionally detached and literally leaves before anyone gets close enough for him to have to face his emotions.
Of course Todd doesn’t agree: it doesn’t fit the narrative he was trying to push that LGBT people latch on to things like this just to escape. They couldn’t possibly like these things for another, more positive reason, right? Again, I think he imagines his own experiences and reactions as being somehow universal.
Lastly, I had a serious issue with what should have been the capstone of this book: the part where he purports to outline how to break free of the straightjacket of heteronormativity and all the associated baggage, towards a new way of living.
Simply put: there was nothing of real substance here. It was just a series of sentiments in big letters stating things like ‘A revolution is needed in the professional understanding of the mental-health implications of growing up LGBT’, followed by a paragraph or two of vague, hand-wavy ideas to make this a reality.
I started this review by saying it was a strange book. I’d like to amend that now by saying it was strange and disappointing. The issues he talks about are so important, but I feel like he’s added nothing to the discussion here. I appreciated his honesty throughout the book (especially where he acknowledges his own failures and unflattering moments) but I don’t think it goes anywhere substantial. We know there are huge issues in LGBT communities; what we need now are quality contributions to the idea pool of solutions.
elemmakil's review against another edition
En jaksanut lukea loppuun, sain ehkä kolmasosan luettua. Tämä oli kirjoitettu sellaisen ihmisen näkökulmasta, joka on viettänyt vuosia kokaiinin ryydittämissä bileissä Lontoossa ja muissa suurkaupungeissa. Kirjailija nosti esiin tärkeitä pointteja, kuten sen, että seksuaalivähemmistöjen kiusaaminen on ongelma, johon koulujen pitää puuttua yhtä lujasti kuin esimerkiksi rasistiseen kiusaamiseen. Toisaalta Matthew Todd käytti esim. new-age-spiritualismi-huuhaan kruunaamatonta astraalikuningasta Deepak Chopraa lähteenään traumojen aiheuttamiin psykologisiin seurauksiin. Ei jatkoon.