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plumpaperbacks's review against another edition
dark
emotional
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
[second read, August 2022]
I decided to reread this on a whim to see if I loved it as much as I used to, but unfortunately, I can’t say that’s the case. While it certainly hit closer to home this time around, now that I’m also chronically ill—it even made me cry, only the second book to ever do so—my feelings have definitely changed since 2018.
My biggest issue is that I was much more invested in Adina’s storyline than Tovah’s. Both of them were complex characters (which is good), neither of them particularly likable (which isn’t an issue), but I just… didn’t really care about Tovah. I could sympathize with her to an extent, but mostly just found her overly dramatic. On the other hand, I could truly empathize with Adina, and found her chapters, her character development, much more compelling.The way she spiraled after her test came back positive, the depression and hopelessness she felt when she realized that her life would never be the same… I felt that so, so deeply. Our situations aren’t exactly the same, nor are our illnesses, but still.
In my first review, I applauded Solomon for not shying away from having her characters do bad things, for making them and their relationships complex and messy and thus realistic. I stand by that. It would’ve been too easy to skew the narrative in one sister’s direction, to paint one as good and one as bad, but she didn’t, and I’m glad.
I also like that, despite the numerous ups and downs of the girls’ relationship and of the story as a whole, the book ended on a hopeful note. Adina and Tovah have come to terms with all the ways their lives have changed, all the ways they’ve changed, and done their best to not only cope but also adapt.
And yet, there was just something missing. Even though this was a very emotional read, one I sped through in just a few hours, I didn’t feel the attachment that I usually do with books I rate five stars. I cried because I saw a part of myself in these pages, in one twin’s story, but when I finished the book, ultimately, I felt conflicted. I’m not sure exactly why, or how to explain it, but it’s true. Giving this five stars no longer felt right, so I lowered my rating to four. It was still a good book, don’t get me wrong, but for whatever reason, I didn’t find it as brilliant as I did the first time. I reread this because I wanted to be able to rank all of the RLS books I’ve read so far, and while this one is the one I’ve been able to relate to the most, I think it’s also my least favorite. At the very least, it’s the one I’ve given the lowest rating to.
I don’t know. Writing reviews is hard sometimes, and I’m tired and my last five brain cells can’t string together any more coherent sentences. So I’m just going to stop here. I would still recommend this book, though, if you’re interested and in the right headspace for it.
Representation
I decided to reread this on a whim to see if I loved it as much as I used to, but unfortunately, I can’t say that’s the case. While it certainly hit closer to home this time around, now that I’m also chronically ill—it even made me cry, only the second book to ever do so—my feelings have definitely changed since 2018.
My biggest issue is that I was much more invested in Adina’s storyline than Tovah’s. Both of them were complex characters (which is good), neither of them particularly likable (which isn’t an issue), but I just… didn’t really care about Tovah. I could sympathize with her to an extent, but mostly just found her overly dramatic. On the other hand, I could truly empathize with Adina, and found her chapters, her character development, much more compelling.
In my first review, I applauded Solomon for not shying away from having her characters do bad things, for making them and their relationships complex and messy and thus realistic. I stand by that. It would’ve been too easy to skew the narrative in one sister’s direction, to paint one as good and one as bad, but she didn’t, and I’m glad.
I also like that, despite the numerous ups and downs of the girls’ relationship and of the story as a whole, the book ended on a hopeful note. Adina and Tovah have come to terms with all the ways their lives have changed, all the ways they’ve changed, and done their best to not only cope but also adapt.
And yet, there was just something missing. Even though this was a very emotional read, one I sped through in just a few hours, I didn’t feel the attachment that I usually do with books I rate five stars. I cried because I saw a part of myself in these pages, in one twin’s story, but when I finished the book, ultimately, I felt conflicted. I’m not sure exactly why, or how to explain it, but it’s true. Giving this five stars no longer felt right, so I lowered my rating to four. It was still a good book, don’t get me wrong, but for whatever reason, I didn’t find it as brilliant as I did the first time. I reread this because I wanted to be able to rank all of the RLS books I’ve read so far, and while this one is the one I’ve been able to relate to the most, I think it’s also my least favorite. At the very least, it’s the one I’ve given the lowest rating to.
I don’t know. Writing reviews is hard sometimes, and I’m tired and my last five brain cells can’t string together any more coherent sentences. So I’m just going to stop here. I would still recommend this book, though, if you’re interested and in the right headspace for it.
Representation
- Jewish Israeli-American protagonists (one has Huntington’s disease)
- Jewish side characters (one is also Israeli and has HD)
- Indian side character
[first read, September 2018]
I was excited to read this after seeing a good number of people enjoy it earlier in the year, but this absolutely blew my mind. It was amazing.
The story follows two twins, Adina and Tovah, as they deal with their mom's declining health due to Huntington's disease, and one of them testing positive for the same thing. So, I feel it goes without saying—this is an extremely emotional, sometimes challenging read.
The most meaningful part, to me anyway, was the protagonists. Adina and Tovah were raw, three-dimensional characters, and most of all they were relatable. They were both messy and complex, a blend of good and bad and petty and hopeful, but it worked. There was always a reason, and I loved that. I, personally, have had enough of teens in YA being good, studious, perfect. While Tovah was very dedicated to education, her and Adina were absolutely imperfect. They fought, they lied, they skipped school - they were real.
I also liked the way their relationship as sisters was written. With one trying to cope her diagnosis and the other feeling guilty about testing negative, things go wrong. A lot. They love and hate each other. They fight and laugh. They didn't really have any common interests or understand the other's motivations. I appreciated the honesty of their relationship, the way it showcased the bad instead of only highlighting the good.
The same complexity could be applied to the other relationships throughout the novel: Adina and her boyfriends, Tovah and her friends, their family. People do and say things they shouldn't, and again, I have to applaud the realism of that.
The last thing I want to talk about is the end. This is undeniably a sad book, as anyone can tell just by reading the synopsis, and there are dark discussions and scenes throughout. However, to put it simply, the end shows that there's always hope. I know that seems cheesy, but the character development and the way things were resolved gave off hopeful vibes. It also seemed a little bit like a nudge to readers to chase their dreams and make their life what they want it to be, and I think cheesy inspiration is good in almost any form.
I don't know how much sense this review made, but the bottom line is that I thoroughly enjoyed this novel. It was raw, emotional, honest, hopeful, and so many other things. I'm genuinely surprised just how much I liked it. With a debut this brilliant, I can't wait to read Rachel's future work. And if you can handle the content, I highly recommend picking this up yourself!
Content Warnings
Graphic: Grief, Mental illness, Self harm, Suicidal thoughts, and Chronic illness
Moderate: Adult/minor relationship, Toxic relationship, Medical content, and Stalking
Minor: Sexual content
Chronic illness: Huntington’s disease. Mental illness: depression, anxiety. Suicidal thoughts & self harm: one of the protagonists deals with both—there’s one detailed self harm scene and multiple instances where she thinks about and even begins planning her own suicide, though ultimately, she doesn’t go through with it. Adult/minor relationship: one protagonist (17-18) becomes romantically and sexually involved with her mentor (25). Stalking: occurs once, is done by a protagonist. There are a couple of sexual scenes and mentions of past experiences, but nothing is explicit.
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