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Do I Have to Wear Black?: Rituals, Customs & Funerary Etiquette for Modern Pagans by Mortellus
alexiasophii's review against another edition
5.0
[I received a free ebook copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for my honest reviews]
This book is AMAZING. I've followed Mortellus work for a bit on social media and I was really excited about reading this book. I started reading at around the same time I discovered Ask a Mortician's channel on Youtube so it was a great tool in helping me change my mindset regarding death and funerals. This book is a MUST for any Priest or Priestess who serves their community in any way, shape or form because Death is bound to happen and it is our duty to support our communities through these times.
This book includes fantastic chapters dedicated to several paths within the Pagan Community such as Wicca, Druidism, Heathenism, Helennism, Thelema, among others that are SO helpful in helping us deal and serve our communities. The author took care to consult with people from those communities and used official or created rituals from those traditions in other to make sure that the book was as complete and amazing as possible.
I think this book is a must and I will always highly recommend it!
This book is AMAZING. I've followed Mortellus work for a bit on social media and I was really excited about reading this book. I started reading at around the same time I discovered Ask a Mortician's channel on Youtube so it was a great tool in helping me change my mindset regarding death and funerals. This book is a MUST for any Priest or Priestess who serves their community in any way, shape or form because Death is bound to happen and it is our duty to support our communities through these times.
This book includes fantastic chapters dedicated to several paths within the Pagan Community such as Wicca, Druidism, Heathenism, Helennism, Thelema, among others that are SO helpful in helping us deal and serve our communities. The author took care to consult with people from those communities and used official or created rituals from those traditions in other to make sure that the book was as complete and amazing as possible.
I think this book is a must and I will always highly recommend it!
juliwi's review
'Do I Have to Wear Black?' is a fascinating insight into an aspect of magic and the witchcraft community that I am so unfamiliar with. I was solidly raised within Christianity and although there was a lot of attention towards other cultures and religions, when it came to Death we mostly stuck to the known. I was so interested to read what Mortellus had written about her own experiences and all the different approaches one can take towards death and what comes after.
While I'm not scared of dying, I found it very soothing still to read this book. To have someone so gently and carefully walk you through its different aspects and how you can infuse all of it with magic was very rewarding. Death is just the end of one way of being and through her stories, Mortellus is able to show the reader just how much exists after death.
While I'm not scared of dying, I found it very soothing still to read this book. To have someone so gently and carefully walk you through its different aspects and how you can infuse all of it with magic was very rewarding. Death is just the end of one way of being and through her stories, Mortellus is able to show the reader just how much exists after death.
tangleroot_eli's review
If you’re the kind of Pagan who:
- sees yourself as 100% independent
- feels like Pagans are exactly like our Christian relatives and neighbors except with more deities
- just wants to be left tf alone to cast your spells
this may be the Pagan death book for you.
If you’re the kind of Pagan who:
- sees yourself as 100% interdependent
- feels both allowed and obligated, as a member of a marginalized religious community, to interrogate and disrupt ALL systems of marginalization, including those that privilege the human over the other-than-human
- thinks it’s not the job of the marginalized to make the majoritized feel “comfortable” with us
give it a miss.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Animal death, Suicide attempt, Death, and Religious bigotry
Moderate: Antisemitism, Suicide, Terminal illness, Cultural appropriation, Medical content, and Violence
Minor: Sexual assault and Miscarriage
redhairedashreads's review
3.0
Rating: 3 stars - I liked it
In this book, Mortellus brings together a collection of customs that have emerged about death and dying in the magical and Pagan communities. The customs focused on in this book are British Traditional Wicca, Crypto-Paganism, Discordianism, Druidry, Eclectic Wicca, Heathenry, Hellenism, Kemetism, and Thelema. The book also includes stories and myths that teach lessons about death and the different kinds of afterlives from different faiths.
Part two of this book is where discussion of different burial practices comes into play. This is the section of the book that I really enjoyed, especially considering it included practices that I hadn’t heard of before like Promession. This section also discusses end of life plans, wills, and the importance of planning ahead, which is something I need to do.
I really enjoyed this book. It was very informative about each tradition's culture and rituals. They also included a couple of death rituals that pertain to these practices, which can easily be adapted to your situation. Also included in this book is discussion about animal deaths, unexpected deaths, and the loss of a child. These are very heartbreaking topics but Mortellus did a great job at approaching the topic and discussing what ritual options you can take.
The only issue I had in this book was in Chapter 6 Restorative Arts and Crafts. She discusses creating life casts and death masks to help with grieving. I have made a life cast of my husband so I know how the process works. Do not follow the instructions listed in this book for life casting because it is not safe. The instructions say to place straws in the nose so the person can believe but this is extremely dangerous. If you bump those straws it could cut the inside of the person's nose and cause a nosebleed, most likely causing the person to panic. The proper way to do a face mold is to carefully work around the nose placing straw strips between the nostrils. Leave the nose holes open!! After you take the life cast off the person, you close the holes with plaster or clay. Please look this process up online. There are a lot of videos with the proper way to make a face cast. So again please, do not follow the instructions listed in this book.
Other than the improper instruction for life casting, I enjoyed this book. It presented new information about rituals, practices, and beliefs in the Pagan community. A lot of these were group rituals though so if you are a solitary it might be harder to have someone do these rituals for your death, but a lot can easily be adjusted.
Trigger Warnings:
- Death
- Greif
- Child death
- Suicide and assisted suicide
- Animal death
*ARC provided by Netgalley for an honest review.*
You can also find my reviews at Red-Haired Ash Reads.
_________________________________
Popsugar 2021 - a book that has fewer than 1000 reviews on Amazon or Goodreads
In this book, Mortellus brings together a collection of customs that have emerged about death and dying in the magical and Pagan communities. The customs focused on in this book are British Traditional Wicca, Crypto-Paganism, Discordianism, Druidry, Eclectic Wicca, Heathenry, Hellenism, Kemetism, and Thelema. The book also includes stories and myths that teach lessons about death and the different kinds of afterlives from different faiths.
Part two of this book is where discussion of different burial practices comes into play. This is the section of the book that I really enjoyed, especially considering it included practices that I hadn’t heard of before like Promession. This section also discusses end of life plans, wills, and the importance of planning ahead, which is something I need to do.
I really enjoyed this book. It was very informative about each tradition's culture and rituals. They also included a couple of death rituals that pertain to these practices, which can easily be adapted to your situation. Also included in this book is discussion about animal deaths, unexpected deaths, and the loss of a child. These are very heartbreaking topics but Mortellus did a great job at approaching the topic and discussing what ritual options you can take.
The only issue I had in this book was in Chapter 6 Restorative Arts and Crafts. She discusses creating life casts and death masks to help with grieving. I have made a life cast of my husband so I know how the process works. Do not follow the instructions listed in this book for life casting because it is not safe. The instructions say to place straws in the nose so the person can believe but this is extremely dangerous. If you bump those straws it could cut the inside of the person's nose and cause a nosebleed, most likely causing the person to panic. The proper way to do a face mold is to carefully work around the nose placing straw strips between the nostrils. Leave the nose holes open!! After you take the life cast off the person, you close the holes with plaster or clay. Please look this process up online. There are a lot of videos with the proper way to make a face cast. So again please, do not follow the instructions listed in this book.
Other than the improper instruction for life casting, I enjoyed this book. It presented new information about rituals, practices, and beliefs in the Pagan community. A lot of these were group rituals though so if you are a solitary it might be harder to have someone do these rituals for your death, but a lot can easily be adjusted.
Trigger Warnings:
- Death
- Greif
- Child death
- Suicide and assisted suicide
- Animal death
*ARC provided by Netgalley for an honest review.*
You can also find my reviews at Red-Haired Ash Reads.
_________________________________
Popsugar 2021 - a book that has fewer than 1000 reviews on Amazon or Goodreads
skelleycat's review
5.0
I can’t say enough good things about this book. Mortellus has a way of gently drawing you in, letting you feel both comforted and empowered at once (much like, I imagine, any good death worker should). This book allowed me to learn more about death rituals and practices in a safe and informative setting that treated me like an intelligent person with my own unique perspective on life. It provides so many tools for becoming more comfortable with your own death and how to ensure that it is handled in the way that is most important, meaningful, and respectful for you. I came way from that section feeling not only empowered, but also excited to do some things like write my own obituary (tell me a more intimate way to engage in self discovery, self love, and introspection!). Do I Have to Wear Black? also provides a very comprehensive and interesting guide to the death practices of many various Pagan lifestyles and religions. I learned so much about different religions and practices that were not just interesting to read about, but also helped to inform the ways I might want to approach my own death.
I think my favorite section, however, was the part that discussed dealing with the death, loss, and accompanying grief as someone left behind by the dead. What his me especially deeply was the chapter on animal companions, as I happened to reading it on the anniversary of my dear cat familiar’s death. It made me wish I had had this book two years ago when I lost her, and sad that I didn’t provide her with a more meaningful ritual back then. But it also provided me with some rituals and things I can do NOW that will help me grieve, continue my connection with her, and honor her. The same goes for additional chapters on other kinds of deaths, a few of which I have also experienced in the past couple of years. This book was an immense comfort and helped me to find new ways to see, feel, and remember them and their deaths.
Do I Have to Wear Black? is an incredible resource — one that I will be keeping close to me for the rest of my life (and beyond). I think it’s a book that everyone should experience, because it holds so much insight, comfort, and love within.
I think my favorite section, however, was the part that discussed dealing with the death, loss, and accompanying grief as someone left behind by the dead. What his me especially deeply was the chapter on animal companions, as I happened to reading it on the anniversary of my dear cat familiar’s death. It made me wish I had had this book two years ago when I lost her, and sad that I didn’t provide her with a more meaningful ritual back then. But it also provided me with some rituals and things I can do NOW that will help me grieve, continue my connection with her, and honor her. The same goes for additional chapters on other kinds of deaths, a few of which I have also experienced in the past couple of years. This book was an immense comfort and helped me to find new ways to see, feel, and remember them and their deaths.
Do I Have to Wear Black? is an incredible resource — one that I will be keeping close to me for the rest of my life (and beyond). I think it’s a book that everyone should experience, because it holds so much insight, comfort, and love within.
megant713's review
dark
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
Phenomenal. This book should be found at every Chaplain's office, funeral home, deathcare company, and with each modern pagan. Mortellus covers death and dying rights of several branches of pagan traditions, offering scripts and rituals for the death process in each branch. Highly recommend to those who are modern pagans, or those who love someone who identifies as a modern pagan.
jennmarshall27's review
5.0
Trigger Warning: This book is discussing death and all of the hard topics that come with losing loved ones.
There are chapters around funerals, meditations for mourning, beliefs and rituals for different paths. A ton of information is included and it is very straightforward. These are difficult topics and I appreciated the tone of the book Everything was kept factual but not cruel. It also goes through funeral rites by culture. It was so detailed I really enjoyed reading the sections that weren't my path. I am looking forward to getting my own copy and reading it again.
There are chapters around funerals, meditations for mourning, beliefs and rituals for different paths. A ton of information is included and it is very straightforward. These are difficult topics and I appreciated the tone of the book Everything was kept factual but not cruel. It also goes through funeral rites by culture. It was so detailed I really enjoyed reading the sections that weren't my path. I am looking forward to getting my own copy and reading it again.
goewinb's review
5.0
SUCH an incredible book. It is immense, and well researched. The author's voice is professional and authoritative on the subject while still speaking with care and compassion both for the deceased and the bereaved. Expect to see customs among the mourners, vocabulary you might encounter either as a death care professional, or as a visitor among the varied populations. I am looking forward to reading it again.