Reviews with content warning for Child death - A Woman Is No Man

A Woman is No Man did not disappoint. Rum encapsulates womanhood under an extremely patriarchal culture and shows hope for the future.

In 1990, 17-year-old Isra is shipped from Palestine to marry an Arab who lives in America. Isra struggles to find approval and love from her husband and mother-in-law through obedience, servitude, and motherhood, but nothing ever seems like it's enough. In 2008, Isra's 17-year-old daughter, Deya, is facing what Isra did 18 years ago: an arranged marriage. Eventually, Deya starts to question how her mother and father died and if she really wants to follow the path her grandmother wants for her. Told in a dual timeline with three points of view (Isra, Deya, and sometimes Fareeda--Isra's mother-in-law and Deya's grandmother), the novel paints a pictures of how this version of Arab culture oppresses women, essentially puts them all into a box, and leaves them with no choices of their own.

Though its message could be overt at times, I believe choosing our own destiny and standing up for what we want is a message that is worth repeating. Readers witness a form of Arab culture that is extremely patriarchal and allows, and at times encourages, the abuse of women. The ways each of the main characters choose to understand and fight against that abuse are quite different, but in the end, they all choose the same thing: themselves.

This novel is equally devastating and encouraging. Anyone with a pulse will be heartbroken for everything the women have to go through. But watching each of them break the cycle in their own way is so inspiring. I hope to have the same courage that they do.

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bookrecsondeck's review against another edition

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emotional sad tense medium-paced

5.0

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michaelion's review against another edition

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emotional hopeful reflective sad tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

I read Evil Eye last month and gave it 5 stars, and it's near impossible for me to give things 5 stars, so I figured this woman must be amazing I gotta read what else she has. Only one other book?! How heartbreaking! I need more! Etaf Rum the woman that you are!!!

I do feel that if I had read this book first and Evil Eye second, I still would've given Evil Eye 5 stars. These books were written for the culture. Not my culture, but the importance of them, the weight of them, were not just to represent Palestinians and Arabs, but to show other Arabs "this is who we are, we have stories to tell, and we have to be honest with ourselves" and I love that SO much. Etaf Rum you will always be famous!!!

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jordynkw's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional sad tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

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sophiesometimesreads's review against another edition

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dark emotional reflective sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

That ending absolutely broke my heart 😭

Please check content warnings before reading as this book deals with a lot of heavy topics.

I went through a whole host of emotions reading this. I hated the characters, loved the characters, felt for them, was sad, frustrated, disappointed. This is a primarily character-driven story and so the flawed nature of every character was so real. This is what really drew the story along, seeing how the characters develop and change and grow (or don't) throughout the story.

I found the writing style easy to follow and understand. It's not flowery, by any means, but it was a readable book that drew me in and kept me interested. Some of the writing was a little repetitive at times, but it highlighted the circular nature of the thoughts and worries of the characters in the book and their inability to break the cycle of oppression and abuse, so it felt more like a literary device than anything else and didn't bother me.

The story was heartbreaking and beautiful and ugly and hopeful all at once, and I think I'll be thinking about this book for a long time to come.

I have seen low ratings of this book as it "does not depict the whole Palestinian American experience". Whilst I understand this statement and can't comment on how accurate the representation is, the book does not say at any point that this is the experience of all, or even a majority, of Palestinians or Palestinian Americans, and it does mention multiple times how their family is the more conservative of the community and that a lot of other people around them are happier and have more freedom. This is the story of one family who happens to be Palestinian American, and reflects the author's own lived experiences, though perhaps this could've been highlighted a bit more.

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megmu18's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional mysterious sad tense fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

5.0

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