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nadiaray's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
inspiring
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.75
This is an excellent book. The themes of generational trauma, customs, misogyny and what is means to be a woman are all explored with excellence. This book made me emotional throughout the entire read. Phenomenal storytelling and character building.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Violence, Racism, Grief, Misogyny, Infidelity, Domestic abuse, and Sexual violence
moonadjacent's review against another edition
dark
emotional
inspiring
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
3.5
There aren't that many events that actually go into the plot and the mystery is not much of a focal point so mystery-lovers would probably be disappointed with the 'reveal'. This book is much more about the characters, their relationships with each other, intergenerational trauma, and the cycle of abuse/violence from colonialism to sexism to family violence.
Two excerpts that showcase these themes:
"...had taught her that the traumas of the world were inseparably connected. She was not surprised when her father came home and beat them mercilessly, the tragedy of the Nakba bulging in his veins... She knew that the suffering of women started in the suffering of men, that the bondages of one became the bondages of the other."
"...how shame could grow and morph and swallow someone until she had no choice but to pass it along so that she wasn't forced to bear it alone... She saw the chain of shame passed from one woman to the next so clearly now, saw her place in the cycle so vividly."
With the bleakness of the violence described, it would be easy to feel hopeless and unable to see a pathway for Deya (central character) to ever become a well-adjusted young woman free to make her own choices. However, while the author does not shy away from some quite graphic descriptions they also manage to maintain some sense of hope throughout the book. I believe the sense of wonder and escapism that books and storytelling bring to the characters is what helps keep this seemingly unwarranted hope stay alive.
Although the novel is somewhat repetitive in its recounting back and forth between set events and timeframes, I stayed hooked and eager to read til the end. I think Etaf Rum has done well to portray and give voice to a story that is true representation for a number of some. Even in the book, there is evidence that religion is not the basis for all culture, and culture cannot be taken as the sole basis for every action taken by a specific family or individual. How these influences manifest will be different for all and unfortunately terrible for some. Hopefully anyone with critical thinking skills can discern this difference and more of these stories can be shared without fearing potential backlash such as increasing prejudice towards Islam or Palestine.
Two excerpts that showcase these themes:
"...how shame could grow and morph and swallow someone until she had no choice but to pass it along so that she wasn't forced to bear it alone... She saw the chain of shame passed from one woman to the next so clearly now, saw her place in the cycle so vividly."
With the bleakness of the violence described, it would be easy to feel hopeless and unable to see a pathway for Deya (central character) to ever become a well-adjusted young woman free to make her own choices. However, while the author does not shy away from some quite graphic descriptions they also manage to maintain some sense of hope throughout the book. I believe the sense of wonder and escapism that books and storytelling bring to the characters is what helps keep this seemingly unwarranted hope stay alive.
Although the novel is somewhat repetitive in its recounting back and forth between set events and timeframes, I stayed hooked and eager to read til the end. I think Etaf Rum has done well to portray and give voice to a story that is true representation for a number of some. Even in the book, there is evidence that religion is not the basis for all culture, and culture cannot be taken as the sole basis for every action taken by a specific family or individual. How these influences manifest will be different for all and unfortunately terrible for some. Hopefully anyone with critical thinking skills can discern this difference and more of these stories can be shared without fearing potential backlash such as increasing prejudice towards Islam or Palestine.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Physical abuse, Abortion, Blood, Child abuse, Death, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Grief, Injury/Injury detail, Mental illness, Miscarriage, Misogyny, Pregnancy, Religious bigotry, Self harm, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, and Violence
Moderate: Death of parent, War, Alcoholism, Colonisation, Genocide, and Rape
Minor: Child death, Islamophobia, Suicide, Xenophobia, and Murder
sassyykassie's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
inspiring
reflective
sad
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Emotional abuse, Rape, Gaslighting, Murder, Misogyny, Violence, Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Physical abuse, and Injury/Injury detail
Moderate: Alcoholism, Suicide, Suicidal thoughts, Sexual violence, and Abortion
Minor: War, Car accident, Abandonment, Genocide, Xenophobia, Pregnancy, and Child death
linda97's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.25
Content Warnings
Graphic: Violence, Sexual violence, Sexual assault, and Domestic abuse
casira's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
mysterious
reflective
sad
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
3.0
This book struggles, at times, with the message it ultimately wants to convey about its themes. There are a lot of complexities surrounding abusers and victims that are handled very well, but also some that are handled a bit poorly. It is ultimately about conveying the significance of choice and shaping one's own destiny, but that messaging can fall flat in circumstances when the choices at hand are entangled in questions of personal safety. There are moments that glorify a willingness to withstand torture and physical assault over "running away" that don't resonate in quite the way I think the author intended.
I'm also struggling a bit with the aspects of culture and tone regarding America, identity, and assimilation. I think Rum failed somewhat in marking the distinction between "there are elements of Arab/Palestinian culture that reinforce and enable abuse" and "Arab/Palestinian culture is inherently abusive." The reader walks away with a somewhat explicit message about the superiority of Western society. I think Rum's second book handles these themes far better.
I'm also struggling a bit with the aspects of culture and tone regarding America, identity, and assimilation. I think Rum failed somewhat in marking the distinction between "there are elements of Arab/Palestinian culture that reinforce and enable abuse" and "Arab/Palestinian culture is inherently abusive." The reader walks away with a somewhat explicit message about the superiority of Western society. I think Rum's second book handles these themes far better.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Injury/Injury detail, Misogyny, Violence, Emotional abuse, Blood, Physical abuse, Self harm, Domestic abuse, Sexism, Child abuse, Death of parent, Alcoholism, Colonisation, Grief, and Islamophobia
Moderate: Murder, Sexual assault, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Sexual violence, Rape, and Pregnancy
boliv3's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
4.0
Content Warnings
Moderate: Violence, Suicide, Sexism, and Sexual violence
ratnix's review against another edition
dark
emotional
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
3.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Alcohol, Alcoholism, Child death, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Grief, Medical content, Mental illness, Murder, Physical abuse, Rape, Sexism, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Violence, Abortion, Sexual assault, Self harm, Toxic relationship, and Misogyny
haleylooloo's review
challenging
emotional
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Physical abuse, Abortion, Misogyny, Alcoholism, Domestic abuse, and Sexual violence
bookishbaker25's review against another edition
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
A Woman is No Man is a standout read of the year, easily making it into my top 10. From the very first page, I found myself completely absorbed in the story, holding my breath until the end. Surprisingly, I enjoyed it even more than I expected.
For fans of Khaled Hosseini's storytelling, Rum's narrative will resonate deeply. She skillfully captures a sense of despair and sadness that runs through the entire book. The characters weave together seamlessly, yet the reader is constantly faced with the harsh reality of the abuse and hopelessness they endure.
The book not only explores domestic violence but also sheds light on how cultural norms and expectations contribute to systemic abuse. While it's important not to stereotype an entire culture, it's equally important to acknowledge the struggles of women who face such challenges daily. Rum gives voice to the marginalized, highlighting their experiences.
While I appreciated the book's structure, with multiple points of view spanning three generations, there were moments where the story felt repetitive, slowing down the pace.
All in all, I think this is a great read, but please beware, it is a heavy and hard book to get through!
For fans of Khaled Hosseini's storytelling, Rum's narrative will resonate deeply. She skillfully captures a sense of despair and sadness that runs through the entire book. The characters weave together seamlessly, yet the reader is constantly faced with the harsh reality of the abuse and hopelessness they endure.
The book not only explores domestic violence but also sheds light on how cultural norms and expectations contribute to systemic abuse. While it's important not to stereotype an entire culture, it's equally important to acknowledge the struggles of women who face such challenges daily. Rum gives voice to the marginalized, highlighting their experiences.
While I appreciated the book's structure, with multiple points of view spanning three generations, there were moments where the story felt repetitive, slowing down the pace.
All in all, I think this is a great read, but please beware, it is a heavy and hard book to get through!
Content Warnings
Graphic: Alcoholism, Racial slurs, Abortion, Addiction, Sexual violence, Mental illness, Physical abuse, and Rape
clovetra's review
challenging
dark
emotional
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.0
this book was heartbreaking in so many ways
ill be honest, i find trying to put my thoughts of this novel into words is quite difficult. i have many feelings over this story.
i felt like crying most of the time whilst reading this book. i did not expect this book to be *this* harrowing.
i love how there are perspectives from all three generations, and i enjoyed seeing each woman challenge the others thoughts and at times reinforce them.
ill be honest and say many aspects of this book were played up with an air of mystery, which seemed quite predictable for me. i don't feel like its right for me to comment on if its predictable nature was fair or not, but i will say it was a tad frustrating solely from a reader's perspective when mysteries were dragged on for so long.
i'll also say i am a bit disappointed at the ending. i understand the point of the last chapter - im not mad about that. i more so would've liked to see a general change in the atmosphere of fareeda's household. sure change doesn't happen over night, but i don't know, even possibly a chapter of fareedareconnecting with sarah, or deya visiting isra's grave would've been nice.
im conflicted on this book. it was quite a serious, emotional, and heavy story, which i usually stray from (i use my books as escapism, so reading incredibly depressing books usually destroys my mental health), but i will say this was written incredibly well. it feels tone-deaf to describe the writing as "beautiful" due to the content & subtext of this book, but i will say etaf rum has a magnificent way with words - it toes the line of lyrical yet colloquial which i adored.
i was very tempted to give this 5 stars, but i didn't scramble to read this book at certain parts, but i will say at the end of part II is when i got really into this book. before that, i wont deny, i was gripped by the plot, but only once the plot picked up, so did my interest. i also do think some of the speech the characters use is a bit forced and clunky, but it wasn't a glaring issue
the book can also be a bit repetitive at times with its dialogue, and it does sometimes feel like groundhog day. i feel i cant properly fault the book on this issue as it fits in its context, but yet again, as a reader it was a bit boring. that feels mean im so sorry
i don't know. i feel like this review is all over the place. and honestly, that's how i felt emotionally reading this book. i can see myself loving this book a lot more through a re-read though.
ill be honest, i find trying to put my thoughts of this novel into words is quite difficult. i have many feelings over this story.
i felt like crying most of the time whilst reading this book. i did not expect this book to be *this* harrowing.
i love how there are perspectives from all three generations, and i enjoyed seeing each woman challenge the others thoughts and at times reinforce them.
ill be honest and say many aspects of this book were played up with an air of mystery, which seemed quite predictable for me. i don't feel like its right for me to comment on if its predictable nature was fair or not, but i will say it was a tad frustrating solely from a reader's perspective when mysteries were dragged on for so long.
i'll also say i am a bit disappointed at the ending. i understand the point of the last chapter - im not mad about that. i more so would've liked to see a general change in the atmosphere of fareeda's household. sure change doesn't happen over night, but i don't know, even possibly a chapter of fareeda
im conflicted on this book. it was quite a serious, emotional, and heavy story, which i usually stray from (i use my books as escapism, so reading incredibly depressing books usually destroys my mental health), but i will say this was written incredibly well. it feels tone-deaf to describe the writing as "beautiful" due to the content & subtext of this book, but i will say etaf rum has a magnificent way with words - it toes the line of lyrical yet colloquial which i adored.
i was very tempted to give this 5 stars, but i didn't scramble to read this book at certain parts, but i will say at the end of part II is when i got really into this book. before that, i wont deny, i was gripped by the plot, but only once the plot picked up, so did my interest. i also do think some of the speech the characters use is a bit forced and clunky, but it wasn't a glaring issue
the book can also be a bit repetitive at times with its dialogue, and it does sometimes feel like groundhog day. i feel i cant properly fault the book on this issue as it fits in its context, but yet again, as a reader it was a bit boring. that feels mean im so sorry
i don't know. i feel like this review is all over the place. and honestly, that's how i felt emotionally reading this book. i can see myself loving this book a lot more through a re-read though.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Alcohol, Pregnancy, Murder, Toxic relationship, Religious bigotry, Domestic abuse, Physical abuse, Alcoholism, Misogyny, Sexism, Death of parent, and Violence
Moderate: Adult/minor relationship, Drug use, Suicide, Sexual violence, Miscarriage, Medical content, Injury/Injury detail, and War
Minor: Genocide