Take a photo of a barcode or cover
29 reviews for:
Raised to Stay: Persevering in Ministry When You Have a Million Reasons to Walk Away
Natalie Runion
4.05 AVERAGE
29 reviews for:
Raised to Stay: Persevering in Ministry When You Have a Million Reasons to Walk Away
Natalie Runion
4.05 AVERAGE
slow-paced
challenging
emotional
hopeful
informative
slow-paced
I have followed this writer on Instagram for a while, but even though I have enjoyed her short-form content, this book didn't live up to my expectations. There are a lot of rave reviews for it so far, and it can definitely help and encourage church leaders who are struggling with discouragement, but I have a number of serious critiques. This book is very vague, doesn't have a clearly defined audience, and is more about the author's emotional processing than anything else.
This book doesn't engage with the nitty-gritty details of specific situations, and even though this is partly to protect people's privacy, it seriously hampers the author's efforts to give advice. Runion makes sweeping claims based on incomplete anecdotes and broad archetypes, and it's hard for someone to decide whether or not her analysis or advice applies to them, since there is very little for them to compare and contrast their situation with. This book would have been much stronger if the author had shared more specific details from her life or had offered fictionalized scenarios instead.
Runion is vulnerable about her struggles with church trauma and leadership difficulties, but her personal stories are frequently disjointed, lack context, and rarely feel complete. The book is all over the place at times, jumping back and forth between different vaguely described moments in her life to illustrate abstract ideas. This didn't feel concrete enough to me, and she uses a lot of vague spiritual language without saying much of substance.
There are some really strong moments in the book, and Runion sometimes says profound and meaningful things, but this a typically a case of her having good one-liners or a good paragraph, like in her Instagram posts. I never felt like the book came together, had a strong through line, or built an argument. It often felt like Runion was just working through her own baggage in the process of writing the book, reflecting on her life and ministry challenges without sharing clear, practical, or concrete advice for struggling people.
An additional challenge is that Runion never establishes a clear audience. Of course, she is writing to people who have been burned in Christian ministry roles, but she'll go back and forth between what I would define as three distinct audiences: 1) People who want to give up on their faith and the church, 2) People who are committed to Jesus but want to give up on the local church, and 3) People who love Jesus and the church but want to give up on vocational ministry. Her exhortations are all over the board and sometimes get convoluted, since she's frequently speaking to different groups.
She acknowledges that people can be "raised to stay" while still preventing burn out, taking sabbaticals, and leaving a particular toxic work environment, but she never does enough to acknowledge and validate people who leave vocational ministry for another job. She talks about how if you don't stay, then you'll never see God bring beauty from ashes, but you can enter the corporate sector and still see God bring beauty from ashes! Runion acknowledges valid reasons why people might step away from ministry, but it disappointed me that she didn't delve into the ways that ministry is part of the Christian life no matter where you work or what your job description is.
I kept thinking of a discouraged, burnt-out church planter who kept stressing about how he needed "to get back into ministry" while he was working for my dad. My dad frequently reminded him that his work was a ministry, that he wasn't wasting his gifts, and that God was using him in this corporate job. I kept hoping that Runion would encourage people to pursue Christ and the good of others in whatever job they are in, but she doesn't dismantle the false dichotomy of sacred vs. secular work. Despite Runion's good intentions and occasional caveats, this book can make people cling even tighter to their sunk cost and feel even guiltier about taking a job outside the church even though it's necessary for them.
I was also dissatisfied with the author's treatment of church-related trauma. She prefers the term "church hurt," and she tells people not to use this about relatively minor things, saving it instead for situations involving abuse and toxic work environments. I thought that was bizarre. If something is church trauma or spiritual abuse, then call it what it is. Don't soften it with the phrase "church hurt." If it's trauma and abuse, then it is TRAUMA AND ABUSE.
At the same time, why would you take away the phrase "church hurt" from people who need a way to describe everyday frustrations and deeply painful experiences they've had at church? For example, if someone is hurt by a small group member gossiping about them under the guise of sharing prayer requests, then "church hurt" is a perfectly appropriate term.
Also, even though Runion speaks strong words against abuse and toxic behaviors among church leadership, she doesn't take a strong enough stance at times. That's partly just because the book is so vague and general. For example, when her friend told her, "It is godly to serve Saul," that may have been appropriate for Runion's individual situation, but it is a terrible blanket statement to make when you don't know what someone is dealing with.
David served Saul until he had to flee for his life, and he was right to wait for God's right timing instead of killing Saul when he had the chance. However, just because David did the right thing not to strike down God's anointed king does not mean that a church employee should serve silently under a narcissistic leader when they would be more faithful as a whistleblower. Also, just because some dude on an ego trip happens to be leading a church does NOT mean that he is "God's anointed," as Runion describes it here.
I also seriously disagree with Runion's many admonitions to not discuss leadership problems with your coworkers. I agree that you shouldn't gossip about the pastor with church members who are unaware of what's happening, and it's true that you should typically only discuss a leader's failings with people who are in a position to do something about them. However, that doesn't mean that it's gossip to talk with a coworker about problems you're both having with a toxic leader. This is how people compare notes to realize that they're not crazy, that they're not imagining it, and that they can band together to stand up against a bully.
Individual circumstances will vary, and of course you shouldn't air all of your personal grievances with your coworkers, but I strongly disagree with Runion's sweeping statements against discussing leadership issues with your peers. I was surprised that she kept repeating this, since there are so many case studies of toxic Christian leaders using edicts against gossip as a way to solidify and maintain their abusive control.
A lot of people have really enjoyed this book and found it helpful, and many people will relate to Runion's vaguely described experiences and find her words encouraging. However, I would not personally recommend this book because of the aforementioned issues. This is too vague and incomplete to be a memoir, and there are too many issues with the advice and presentation for this to be effective as a practical guide. Unless people are huge fans of the author, I would encourage them to seek out a different resource.
This book doesn't engage with the nitty-gritty details of specific situations, and even though this is partly to protect people's privacy, it seriously hampers the author's efforts to give advice. Runion makes sweeping claims based on incomplete anecdotes and broad archetypes, and it's hard for someone to decide whether or not her analysis or advice applies to them, since there is very little for them to compare and contrast their situation with. This book would have been much stronger if the author had shared more specific details from her life or had offered fictionalized scenarios instead.
Runion is vulnerable about her struggles with church trauma and leadership difficulties, but her personal stories are frequently disjointed, lack context, and rarely feel complete. The book is all over the place at times, jumping back and forth between different vaguely described moments in her life to illustrate abstract ideas. This didn't feel concrete enough to me, and she uses a lot of vague spiritual language without saying much of substance.
There are some really strong moments in the book, and Runion sometimes says profound and meaningful things, but this a typically a case of her having good one-liners or a good paragraph, like in her Instagram posts. I never felt like the book came together, had a strong through line, or built an argument. It often felt like Runion was just working through her own baggage in the process of writing the book, reflecting on her life and ministry challenges without sharing clear, practical, or concrete advice for struggling people.
An additional challenge is that Runion never establishes a clear audience. Of course, she is writing to people who have been burned in Christian ministry roles, but she'll go back and forth between what I would define as three distinct audiences: 1) People who want to give up on their faith and the church, 2) People who are committed to Jesus but want to give up on the local church, and 3) People who love Jesus and the church but want to give up on vocational ministry. Her exhortations are all over the board and sometimes get convoluted, since she's frequently speaking to different groups.
She acknowledges that people can be "raised to stay" while still preventing burn out, taking sabbaticals, and leaving a particular toxic work environment, but she never does enough to acknowledge and validate people who leave vocational ministry for another job. She talks about how if you don't stay, then you'll never see God bring beauty from ashes, but you can enter the corporate sector and still see God bring beauty from ashes! Runion acknowledges valid reasons why people might step away from ministry, but it disappointed me that she didn't delve into the ways that ministry is part of the Christian life no matter where you work or what your job description is.
I kept thinking of a discouraged, burnt-out church planter who kept stressing about how he needed "to get back into ministry" while he was working for my dad. My dad frequently reminded him that his work was a ministry, that he wasn't wasting his gifts, and that God was using him in this corporate job. I kept hoping that Runion would encourage people to pursue Christ and the good of others in whatever job they are in, but she doesn't dismantle the false dichotomy of sacred vs. secular work. Despite Runion's good intentions and occasional caveats, this book can make people cling even tighter to their sunk cost and feel even guiltier about taking a job outside the church even though it's necessary for them.
I was also dissatisfied with the author's treatment of church-related trauma. She prefers the term "church hurt," and she tells people not to use this about relatively minor things, saving it instead for situations involving abuse and toxic work environments. I thought that was bizarre. If something is church trauma or spiritual abuse, then call it what it is. Don't soften it with the phrase "church hurt." If it's trauma and abuse, then it is TRAUMA AND ABUSE.
At the same time, why would you take away the phrase "church hurt" from people who need a way to describe everyday frustrations and deeply painful experiences they've had at church? For example, if someone is hurt by a small group member gossiping about them under the guise of sharing prayer requests, then "church hurt" is a perfectly appropriate term.
Also, even though Runion speaks strong words against abuse and toxic behaviors among church leadership, she doesn't take a strong enough stance at times. That's partly just because the book is so vague and general. For example, when her friend told her, "It is godly to serve Saul," that may have been appropriate for Runion's individual situation, but it is a terrible blanket statement to make when you don't know what someone is dealing with.
David served Saul until he had to flee for his life, and he was right to wait for God's right timing instead of killing Saul when he had the chance. However, just because David did the right thing not to strike down God's anointed king does not mean that a church employee should serve silently under a narcissistic leader when they would be more faithful as a whistleblower. Also, just because some dude on an ego trip happens to be leading a church does NOT mean that he is "God's anointed," as Runion describes it here.
I also seriously disagree with Runion's many admonitions to not discuss leadership problems with your coworkers. I agree that you shouldn't gossip about the pastor with church members who are unaware of what's happening, and it's true that you should typically only discuss a leader's failings with people who are in a position to do something about them. However, that doesn't mean that it's gossip to talk with a coworker about problems you're both having with a toxic leader. This is how people compare notes to realize that they're not crazy, that they're not imagining it, and that they can band together to stand up against a bully.
Individual circumstances will vary, and of course you shouldn't air all of your personal grievances with your coworkers, but I strongly disagree with Runion's sweeping statements against discussing leadership issues with your peers. I was surprised that she kept repeating this, since there are so many case studies of toxic Christian leaders using edicts against gossip as a way to solidify and maintain their abusive control.
A lot of people have really enjoyed this book and found it helpful, and many people will relate to Runion's vaguely described experiences and find her words encouraging. However, I would not personally recommend this book because of the aforementioned issues. This is too vague and incomplete to be a memoir, and there are too many issues with the advice and presentation for this to be effective as a practical guide. Unless people are huge fans of the author, I would encourage them to seek out a different resource.
challenging
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
I wanted to love this because I have a HUGE heart for those who are called to stay in the church despite it's brokenness and their hurt.
This book was not for those people. This was a bragging memoir about someone whose parents changed churches when she was in elementary school and how amazing she is to have overcome that.
It's more of a pithy women's ministry alliterating blog post with so much trite evangelical "truths" for people in the church already and annoyed with people who are leaving.
It's very fear based and "if you quit it's because the devil is using you" and "don't quit or you'll never see the beautiful restoration you want to see.
There were some good lines but overall this was a huge loss for me.
This book was not for those people. This was a bragging memoir about someone whose parents changed churches when she was in elementary school and how amazing she is to have overcome that.
It's more of a pithy women's ministry alliterating blog post with so much trite evangelical "truths" for people in the church already and annoyed with people who are leaving.
It's very fear based and "if you quit it's because the devil is using you" and "don't quit or you'll never see the beautiful restoration you want to see.
There were some good lines but overall this was a huge loss for me.
challenging
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
slow-paced
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
It’s always beautiful when a book comes along right when you need it. I pre-ordered this book as soon as it was available for pre-order and anxiously awaited its arrival. I had just gone through some hard with a church and had decided to stay in THE church. Natalie Runion’s words on Instagram had helped nudge me along the path of hurt and heartbreak and I knew this book would have even more encouragement and understanding. And I was not disappointed! Everyone’s season of “going” looks different, but our reason for staying should always be the same. Jesus. This book does a great job of touching on so much of all of that. Amazing work from author Natalie Runion.
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
I started the book really wanting to like it. Then I was getting disenchanted with her writing style and what I thought the direction of the book was going. I had put it down for a bit but then picked it back up and then I cried a lot.
If you are in ministry and experienced church hurt from a coworker or a lead pastor or elder. Read “when a narcissist comes to church” first and then read this one.
If you are on a deconstruction path because of church hurt, then this is a great read. I felt the second half of the book had some beautiful and practical thoughts when it comes to healing from church trauma and not giving up on Jesus and his church.
If you are in ministry and experienced church hurt from a coworker or a lead pastor or elder. Read “when a narcissist comes to church” first and then read this one.
If you are on a deconstruction path because of church hurt, then this is a great read. I felt the second half of the book had some beautiful and practical thoughts when it comes to healing from church trauma and not giving up on Jesus and his church.
hopeful
inspiring
reflective