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4.3 AVERAGE
4.3 AVERAGE
Reading a memoir of this caliber feels intimate. I appreciated and related to some of the author struggles, which can be felt at any size when you are a woman “of size”. Her story is beautiful and sad and I appreciate that. So often stories like this require a happy ending, even it is forced, but this author does not give us that, and I appreciated the honesty behind that decision.
I don’t feel comfortable putting a number to someone’s lived experience, especially when that experience is colored with sexual violence and the day to day trauma of living in a world not equipped for fatness.
That being said, I did see a review where someone said it made them mad because she didn’t like how self-deprecating Roxane Gay was about her body especially after the body positivity movement. The reviewer said it helped her understand survivors better but she should be nice to herself. To which I say, duh. Thats kind of the point.
If you are looking for a happy body positive, I love my fat body, I learned to love my tiger stripes, this is not it. It’s also not the book she agreed to at the jump. I say all of that because its such an important message. You need to feel the shame and frustration and self loathing that comes with fatness before saying “just love yourself.” It’s incredibly disrespectful and disregards the feelings of someone who has at some point been exploited and dehumanized over adipose on their body.
True, some reach the point of over coming those feelings but for many that is not the case. Especially when, as Roxane Gay is black, race is in the mix.
For those who are fat it can be cathartic and felt seen perhaps. The experience of taking up too much space is one that many go through. For those who are not fat, I would say it is important to sit and deal with the feelings of seeing someone larger than themselves and the resulting litany of questions. The dehumanization that immediately takes place because someone does not fit their idea of conventionality.
That being said, I did see a review where someone said it made them mad because she didn’t like how self-deprecating Roxane Gay was about her body especially after the body positivity movement. The reviewer said it helped her understand survivors better but she should be nice to herself. To which I say, duh. Thats kind of the point.
If you are looking for a happy body positive, I love my fat body, I learned to love my tiger stripes, this is not it. It’s also not the book she agreed to at the jump. I say all of that because its such an important message. You need to feel the shame and frustration and self loathing that comes with fatness before saying “just love yourself.” It’s incredibly disrespectful and disregards the feelings of someone who has at some point been exploited and dehumanized over adipose on their body.
True, some reach the point of over coming those feelings but for many that is not the case. Especially when, as Roxane Gay is black, race is in the mix.
For those who are fat it can be cathartic and felt seen perhaps. The experience of taking up too much space is one that many go through. For those who are not fat, I would say it is important to sit and deal with the feelings of seeing someone larger than themselves and the resulting litany of questions. The dehumanization that immediately takes place because someone does not fit their idea of conventionality.
this is as close as you'll get to "walking in someone else's shoes" such a brave story.
A searing and honest story about life inside a large body, the trials and tribulations that we thinner people might not consider. How to enter a restaurant? Will I break the chair when I sit down? Will the person in the airplane seat next to me, even though I buy two, ask to be reseated? Gay is clear about her need to make her body into a fortress so that the hideous attack she experienced at the age of 12 never happens again.
I am both wishing I didn't read this and glad that I did. This book/diary gives voice to those who struggle to speak.
Oh, Roxane, how I adore you. I promise, if I meet you, I will not try to hug you and I appreciate that I can expect the same in return.
This was not an easy read but excavating the reasons why she ate so much is incredibly brave for Gay and I want to give her a standing ovation for being able to share what most hide. It is also cathartic to see your own voice in someone else's observations about society, people's assumptions that they should have any say or control over your body and the personal struggles you deal with every. single. day. as a person that does not conform.
challenging
dark
emotional
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
tense
fast-paced
Content Warnings
Graphic: Body shaming, Rape