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bibliomich's review against another edition
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
slow-paced
Out of respect for authors' personal stories, I prefer not to provide star ratings for memoirs.
Susan Lieu is the self-proclaimed keeper of her family's story--the one who has tasked herself with preserving the memories of her siblings, her father, and in particular, her mother who passed away during cosmetic surgery due to medical malpractice when Susan was only 11 years old. The telling of this story proves to be a lofty task, as Susan runs into many roadblocks along the way, including reluctant family members who would prefer not to talk about any of it, in addition to facing her own trauma.
While there were many elements of this story that I found to be incredibly compelling, overall I found the memoir to be uneven, specifically when it came to pacing and tone. There were times when the author would spend whole paragraphs detailing a single meal, but then she would blow right past an event that seemed to me (as a reader) like it would hold much more significance. Of course, who am I to judge what an author finds significant in her own story?
Much of the story was heavy. It felt as though this book was a form of therapy for Susan, as she worked through the loss of her mother, as well as toxicity within her family. Susan also tried to inject moments of humor into her story. Many of these fell flat for me, either seeming overly cynical or dismissive. I would have loved to see Susan explore some of her themes a little more deeply: the generational body shaming within her family that haunted her well into adulthood (and may have contributed to her mother's decision to have surgery), her parents' early struggles as Vietnamese refugees and the impact this had on the way they raised her and her siblings, or her decision to use performance art as a way to heal. These were some of the strongest points in the book that were ultimately overshadowed by vignettes that felt less connected to her story.
Thank you to NetGalley for my advanced listener copy.
Susan Lieu is the self-proclaimed keeper of her family's story--the one who has tasked herself with preserving the memories of her siblings, her father, and in particular, her mother who passed away during cosmetic surgery due to medical malpractice when Susan was only 11 years old. The telling of this story proves to be a lofty task, as Susan runs into many roadblocks along the way, including reluctant family members who would prefer not to talk about any of it, in addition to facing her own trauma.
While there were many elements of this story that I found to be incredibly compelling, overall I found the memoir to be uneven, specifically when it came to pacing and tone. There were times when the author would spend whole paragraphs detailing a single meal, but then she would blow right past an event that seemed to me (as a reader) like it would hold much more significance. Of course, who am I to judge what an author finds significant in her own story?
Much of the story was heavy. It felt as though this book was a form of therapy for Susan, as she worked through the loss of her mother, as well as toxicity within her family. Susan also tried to inject moments of humor into her story. Many of these fell flat for me, either seeming overly cynical or dismissive. I would have loved to see Susan explore some of her themes a little more deeply: the generational body shaming within her family that haunted her well into adulthood (and may have contributed to her mother's decision to have surgery), her parents' early struggles as Vietnamese refugees and the impact this had on the way they raised her and her siblings, or her decision to use performance art as a way to heal. These were some of the strongest points in the book that were ultimately overshadowed by vignettes that felt less connected to her story.
Thank you to NetGalley for my advanced listener copy.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Fatphobia, Body shaming, Death of parent, and Grief
Moderate: Eating disorder, Medical trauma, Medical content, Death, and Emotional abuse
Minor: War and Panic attacks/disorders
care__'s review
emotional
funny
hopeful
informative
reflective
medium-paced
4.0
The Manicurist’s Daughter is a raw and evocative memoir about grief, intergenerational trauma, family, language, culture, food, body image, spirituality and self-discovery. In this book, Susan Lieu details her experiences of growing up as child of Vietnamese refugees who fled Vietnam in the 1980s to build a new life in America, no matter what the odds. Through their parents’ blood, sweat and tears, they established Susan’s Nails, a nail salon in California, which eventually expanded to a second location. However at age 11, they lost their mother when she died during a tummy tuck procedure.
It’s a devastating yet inspiring read. As someone who grew up in an Asian household, it is very easy to relate to Lieu’s stories.
“I was not taught to listen to my body, I was taught to listen to my elders.”
The unexpected loss of their mother left her with unanswered questions that no one in her family was willing (or ready) to address. Her father, in particular, consistently dismissed her questions.
“Even on her death anniversary, when we huddled around her grave offering her foods, talking about her was off-limits.”
“Even on her death anniversary, when we huddled around her grave offering her foods, talking about her was off-limits.”
For two decades, she looked for answers. She went back to Vietnam to explore her roots and had a goal in mind to know who her Má really was as a sister, a daughter and as a person through the eyes of her relatives.
“How could I become a mother if I never knew my own?”
As Asians, we feel most loved through the food our parents and grandparents serve and prepare for us. We are conditioned to just obey whatever the elders in our family say and never attempt to talk back, even if they start voicing out unsolicited remarks about our bodies, which to them is just their way of expressing concern and affection.
“The center of my universe was governed by Má. As much as she was thrilling, she was terrorizing. She made up all the rules and everything would be fine as long as I never pissed her off. And so, gradually, this became my truth; my relationship to food was really about my relationship to family.”
This entire reading experience became more meaningful to me as it reminded me of how fortunate I am to still have precious time to spend with my parents. Also, this book led me to discover how memoirs that touches on Asian culture and traditions has become my favorite subgenre in books.
“If I really wanted to break the cycle of intergenerational trauma, I had to walk into the fire. It was time I stood up for myself.”
Big thanks to Celadon Books and Netgalley for the Digital Review Copy but most importantly, thank you to Susan Lieu for sharing your most vulnerable self to the world and showing us that the journey towards inner peace and forgiveness is both attainable and transformative.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Body shaming, War, Grief, Misogyny, Death of parent, and Medical trauma
caseythereader's review
challenging
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
4.5
Thanks to Celadon Books for the free copy of this book.
- If you’re a lover of memoirs exploring intergenerational trauma, THE MANICURIST’S DAUGHTER is one you can’t miss.
- Lieu’s to-the-point writing brings all her pain to the surface as we follow her trying both to figure out who she is an who her family members are as well.
- As Lieu’s understanding of and empathy for her family members’ individual grief processes grows, we begin to see a portrait of a family doing its best to hold on to each other even as they’ve experienced the worst the world has to offer.
- If you’re a lover of memoirs exploring intergenerational trauma, THE MANICURIST’S DAUGHTER is one you can’t miss.
- Lieu’s to-the-point writing brings all her pain to the surface as we follow her trying both to figure out who she is an who her family members are as well.
- As Lieu’s understanding of and empathy for her family members’ individual grief processes grows, we begin to see a portrait of a family doing its best to hold on to each other even as they’ve experienced the worst the world has to offer.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Medical content, Mental illness, Fatphobia, Medical trauma, Eating disorder, Death of parent, Body shaming, Death, Pregnancy, Racism, War, and Grief
Minor: Suicide and Alcohol
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