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emeryyy's review
challenging
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
sad
medium-paced
5.0
i’d like to preface this by saying that my rating is not of the story itself, because
1) it’s not something i usually read, and
2) i dislike rating something so brutally honest, vulnerable, and personal.
instead, it’s of how the story was written and told
i don’t usually read memoirs. not because i don’t like them; i just generally prefer other books. but this synopsis - immigrant family, medical malpractice, impossible beauty standards - caught my attention. it’s a very moving story that addresses fatphobia, the targeting of immigrants and people of color in the medical field, intergenerational trauma and healing, and so much more. the author describes the impact her mother’s death had not just on her but her entire family. she details all the questions she was left with - questions her family wouldn’t, or couldn’t, answer. i appreciated the way the memoir was broken down into six parts, for the six tones in Vietnamese: ma (ghost), mả (tomb), mà (but), má (mother), mạ (newborn rice seedling), and mã (horse)
thank you to BookishFirst and Celadon Books for the arc!
1) it’s not something i usually read, and
2) i dislike rating something so brutally honest, vulnerable, and personal.
instead, it’s of how the story was written and told
i don’t usually read memoirs. not because i don’t like them; i just generally prefer other books. but this synopsis - immigrant family, medical malpractice, impossible beauty standards - caught my attention. it’s a very moving story that addresses fatphobia, the targeting of immigrants and people of color in the medical field, intergenerational trauma and healing, and so much more. the author describes the impact her mother’s death had not just on her but her entire family. she details all the questions she was left with - questions her family wouldn’t, or couldn’t, answer. i appreciated the way the memoir was broken down into six parts, for the six tones in Vietnamese: ma (ghost), mả (tomb), mà (but), má (mother), mạ (newborn rice seedling), and mã (horse)
thank you to BookishFirst and Celadon Books for the arc!
Content Warnings
Graphic: Grief, Body shaming, Fatphobia, and Death of parent
valentinavc's review against another edition
4.0
I think I was expecting to relate to this book too much, which might have caused the initial disappointment. It was compared to Crying in H Mart for obvious reasons but actually they are two very different journeys. Crying is kind of a short and concentrated grieving journey which is exactly what I went through and was eager to relate to; but in this book the author had a long and winding road of dealing with being an immigrant’s American daughter, living in an immigrant family, AND losing her mother at a young age in an unjust way. So in the beginning the books reads like it’s trying to deal with too much issues at the same time (grief, body image, 2nd generation immigrant child problem, medical malpractice, cult…), but none of them goes anywhere. I enjoyed the book’s later half a lot more once the author started to really learn her mother’s history, which is truly amazing. Her one woman show was absolutely moving and her eventual reconciliation with her family is very heart warming.
Personally I always thought her dad and family were……really nice. Maybe I was very used to the normal Asian family ways and I crave a warm, big family, which is exactly what the author has. (And I have successfully stopped or completely blocked out the body shaming by not giving any response and also really being ok with my body.) These things definitely made me relate to her less especially in the beginning since she is obviously too American for an Asian immigrant household like theirs. In a way we get to also experience what the author experienced, through our readings. Overall this is still a very worthy book. And I guess this is what autobiographies are like. You really need to go along with the ride.
Personally I always thought her dad and family were……really nice. Maybe I was very used to the normal Asian family ways and I crave a warm, big family, which is exactly what the author has. (And I have successfully stopped or completely blocked out the body shaming by not giving any response and also really being ok with my body.) These things definitely made me relate to her less especially in the beginning since she is obviously too American for an Asian immigrant household like theirs. In a way we get to also experience what the author experienced, through our readings. Overall this is still a very worthy book. And I guess this is what autobiographies are like. You really need to go along with the ride.
hnowak95's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
informative
reflective
sad
medium-paced
I've seen other book people not rate memoirs since it's kinda like rating the author's life/experiences... so going to leave off a rating. I found this very interesting and learning about the author's family and culture. Susan was very emotionally honest about her experience, grief and family disfunction. I am glad I listened to the audiobook as you could tell Susan is a performer and her emotions came through in a way I'm not sure you would get by just reading the text.
angie_sasquatch's review
slow-paced
3.5
The story became repetitive and I skimmed the last 30% of the book.
allisonbuzard's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
reflective
medium-paced
4.0
This beautifully written memoir had me in tears throughout but ended with such beauty and hope. I’m so glad I read this.