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That said, I haven't read many memoirs in my life, so take this with a grain of salt: I didn't really like the way the book is written with the events all out of order. It was confusing and tended to give me metaphorical whiplash. But maybe that's just the way memoirs are. I also wish that Elliot had gone into more about his transition and his feelings about it. The whole thing felt rushed into at the end of the book, with only a few sentences about taking hormones. I get it if he wants privacy about his current life, but considering how depressing the rest of the book's events are, I feel like readers could benefit from seeing more of the light at the end of the tunnel. Perhaps the memoir could have been left to simmer for a few years while Elliot got used to his "new" life, giving him more moments of trans joy to write about?
Graphic: Alcoholism, Bullying, Deadnaming, Drug use, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Hate crime, Homophobia, Mental illness, Misogyny, Panic attacks/disorders, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Toxic relationship, Transphobia, Excrement, Vomit, Medical content, Stalking, Lesbophobia, Outing, Sexual harassment, Dysphoria
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Bullying, Child abuse, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Homophobia, Misogyny, Rape, Self harm, Sexism, Transphobia, Stalking, Lesbophobia, Dysphoria
Graphic: Homophobia, Transphobia
Moderate: Misogyny, Sexual assault, Sexual harassment
The uneven chronology that many have complained about does make this a little challenging to read. But given the experiences Elliot Page was describing, that narrative did not seem misplaced. The trauma, pain and confusion that Page has felt throughout childhood into his coming out, both as a lesbian and then as a trans man, cause his story to jump around from one experience and memory to another. His descriptions of misogyny, homophobia, transphobia and assault are painful, yet distanced, often clinical, which makes you wonder how much healing Page still needs.
This is a brutally honest, intimate and visceral memoir and writing debut from an incredible actor. Page shines a light on some of the worst that being in Hollywood has to offer, particularly for a young inexperienced and insecure queer person, coming to terms with their gender. Although sometimes hard to read, there are moments of true joy and connection which gives the reader hope. I'm particularly grateful for the audiobook, narrated by the author, which has a particularly significant impact.
Well worth the read and I'm both keen to explore even more of Page's onscreen work, and to read more personal stories by trans authors.
Moderate: Homophobia, Misogyny, Sexual content, Transphobia
Minor: Sexual assault
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Body horror, Body shaming, Bullying, Cursing, Deadnaming, Drug use, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Homophobia, Misogyny, Panic attacks/disorders, Self harm, Sexism, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, Transphobia, Blood, Vomit, Medical content, Stalking, Lesbophobia, Gaslighting, Abandonment, Alcohol, Sexual harassment, Dysphoria
Page is a poet. His words are imbued with so much meaning and emotion.
He offers a comprehensive look at trans life, and never talks down to his audience. He is an inspiring author. I am so glad I read this book.
Graphic: Homophobia, Misogyny, Pedophilia, Rape, Sexual assault, Toxic relationship, Transphobia, Suicide attempt
In between the long list of his ex-partners there's some really honest and vulnerable stuff about being trans that i resonated with a lot, and that I'm glad that other people, cis and trans, will get to read. I also really liked how he explained why he was using his previous name at times, and clearly laid out that he wasn't comfortable with others doing that.
Graphic: Child abuse, Deadnaming, Emotional abuse, Homophobia, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Transphobia, Stalking, Lesbophobia, Dysphoria
Moderate: Adult/minor relationship, Body shaming, Domestic abuse, Hate crime, Mental illness, Misogyny, Panic attacks/disorders, Pedophilia, Self harm, Suicidal thoughts, Excrement, Vomit, Car accident, Gaslighting, Alcohol, Injury/Injury detail
Minor: Drug use, Racism, Medical content, Pregnancy, Pandemic/Epidemic
A memoir from Academy Award nominated actor Elliot Page about his life, including his career and his journey to coming out as trans.
I’ve been on a huge celebrity memoir kick lately, and this is one of the best I’ve read all year. Pageboy is raw and vulnerable and honest, and made me simultaneously so sorry for all Elliot has gone through and so glad he can now live his truth.
The narration of the audiobook was also fantastic, and delivered in a way that really added to the presentation of the story. Overall, if you’re interested in memoirs, I highly recommend this one.
CW: transphobia; homophobia; eating disorder; body horror/dysmorphia; sexual content; drug use; mentions of suicidal thoughts and self harm
Graphic: Body horror, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Homophobia, Misogyny, Sexism, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Transphobia, Violence, Lesbophobia, Sexual harassment
Moderate: Drug use, Suicidal thoughts
Minor: Pandemic/Epidemic
However after completing it, I realised I really disliked it.
This memoir finished with no actual introspection, self realisation or broader contextualisation. The closest thing we got was the pitiful chapter on his top surgery. He basically talked about how amazing it was and how relieved he felt but that he felt a need to express his gratitude bc of his privilege (eg lots of trans men don’t have the money, community supports etc to access top surgery) - before ending it with a “but it’s my basic rights and I shouldn’t have to feel grateful because I deserved it” ? And that was pretty much it in the way of acknowledging broader contexts for his life. Which included things such as: anorexia, self harm, emotional abuse by a parent, having a pedophilic stalker as a teenage girl, large scale homophobia and transphobia, and the list goes on !!! I was truly expecting these struggles to be rooted by Elliot societally and acknowledge the wider traumas of growing up in a patriarchy, and maybe solidarity with other gnc/trans/gay people but no. Nothing. Really disappointing.
Graphic: Child abuse, Deadnaming, Drug use, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Hate crime, Homophobia, Mental illness, Misogyny, Panic attacks/disorders, Pedophilia, Rape, Self harm, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Suicidal thoughts, Blood, Vomit, Religious bigotry, Stalking, Death of parent, Lesbophobia, Dysphoria
Graphic: Addiction, Body shaming, Bullying, Child abuse, Deadnaming, Eating disorder, Hate crime, Homophobia, Misogyny, Panic attacks/disorders, Pedophilia, Rape, Self harm, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Toxic relationship, Transphobia, Blood, Medical content, Grief, Stalking, Schizophrenia/Psychosis , Outing, Gaslighting, Abandonment, Sexual harassment, Dysphoria, Pandemic/Epidemic