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hdunscombe's review against another edition
emotional
funny
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Emira has just come out of a racially charged situation at a grocery store. During an unexpected late-night babysitting outing, a fellow shopper and a security officer corner Emira, who is Black, and insinuate that she has kidnapped her almost 3-year-old charge, who is white. What ensues is several months of convoluted attempts to move on, between Emira, her employer, her significant other, and the very loveable toddler that Emira just wants to spend her shifts cherishing.
The subtlety between these interconnected relationships is phenomenal. Reid has us convinced that Emira's employer and boyfriend each believe they have Emira's interests at heart, but as weedy histories, offhand comments, and questionable behaviors are revealed, their respective intentions get called into question more and more.
Despite the heavy premise, this story has so many moments of delight, especially when it comes to deep female friendship, early adulthood habits and settings, awkward motherhood/caretaker moments, and the silly seriousness of the toddler who is at "such a fun age".
I loved seeing Emira's perspective in contrast with her employer's within the same scenes; the latter was often sanctimonious and obsessive when it came to her "sitter", while the latter saw through all of it with a sigh and an eye roll. And despite her employer's and boyfriend's insistence that they are each looking out for her, their self-interest, privilege, and opposition to each other obscure Emira's true interests at every turn.
Aside from the toddler's absolutely ADORABLE questions, Emira's loveable group of quippy friends, and Reid's stellar dialogue, my favorite aspect of this book is how stealthily Reid inspires compassion for the individuals making Emira's life so complicated. I often found myself thinking, "Aww [they] are trying so hard to have their heart in the right place..." before remembering, "Wait - this is so messed up!" These characters convince themselves that actions like phone stalking, infantilization, gaslighting, white saviorism, fetishizing, tokenizing, and virtue signaling are actually all protecting Emira - as if she needs protection as a 25-year-old adult. Yet they are still humanized by Reid's their (albeit twisted) beliefs that they are doing the right thing, and Reid's dialogue. In the end, both spend so much time pointing fingers at each other for racism, that they forget their own.
There is also an unknowability to Emira's white boyfriend that makes him feel especially realistic. Without his point of view, we only see his track record of surrounding himself with Black friends, exclusively dating Black women, inserting himself into the racially charged inciting incident as if he is an authority on race relations, taking Emira to a white-friendly coded bar, and casually not censoring a racial slur as if he is part of the community it denigrates. We don't know the motivation behind these actions, so we're left to draw conclusions along with Emira. He is a good mirror of individuals in the real world who believe themselves to be woke and anti-racist because they can recognize overt racism, yet obliviously display a subtler form racism and white privilege in how they move through the world.
Finally, I adored the ending. At first, I worried that Emira would reconnect with her boyfriend after she learns that he did not leak a video of the grocery store incident. But she steers clear and moves on from the complete tornado of relationships she's been stuck in and starts fresh. And even projecting a decade into the future, Reid does not spend any time on the status of Emira's love life, because it was her independence, contentment, and professional satisfaction that were at the heart of this story - not these things in relation to anyone else. It was also realistically bittersweet that in order to advocate for herself, Emira couldn't hold onto everything she wanted. Sometimes chasing one goal means letting go of something else. Emira had to let go of her deep relationship with the toddler she loved so dearly, and as a result, resigned to the fact that this child would grow up closer to her selfish employer's image than she would have otherwise.
The subtlety between these interconnected relationships is phenomenal. Reid has us convinced that Emira's employer and boyfriend each believe they have Emira's interests at heart, but as weedy histories, offhand comments, and questionable behaviors are revealed, their respective intentions get called into question more and more.
Despite the heavy premise, this story has so many moments of delight, especially when it comes to deep female friendship, early adulthood habits and settings, awkward motherhood/caretaker moments, and the silly seriousness of the toddler who is at "such a fun age".
Aside from the toddler's absolutely ADORABLE questions, Emira's loveable group of quippy friends, and Reid's stellar dialogue, my favorite aspect of this book is how stealthily Reid inspires compassion for the individuals making Emira's life so complicated. I often found myself thinking, "Aww [they] are trying so hard to have their heart in the right place..." before remembering, "Wait - this is so messed up!" These characters convince themselves that actions like phone stalking, infantilization, gaslighting, white saviorism, fetishizing, tokenizing, and virtue signaling are actually all protecting Emira - as if she needs protection as a 25-year-old adult. Yet they are still humanized by Reid's their (albeit twisted) beliefs that they are doing the right thing, and Reid's dialogue. In the end, both spend so much time pointing fingers at each other for racism, that they forget their own.
There is also an unknowability to Emira's white boyfriend that makes him feel especially realistic. Without his point of view, we only see his track record of surrounding himself with Black friends, exclusively dating Black women, inserting himself into the racially charged inciting incident as if he is an authority on race relations, taking Emira to a white-friendly coded bar, and casually not censoring a racial slur as if he is part of the community it denigrates. We don't know the motivation behind these actions, so we're left to draw conclusions along with Emira. He is a good mirror of individuals in the real world who believe themselves to be woke and anti-racist because they can recognize overt racism, yet obliviously display a subtler form racism and white privilege in how they move through the world.
Finally, I adored the ending. At first, I worried that Emira would reconnect with her boyfriend after she learns that he did not leak a video of the grocery store incident. But she steers clear and moves on from the complete tornado of relationships she's been stuck in and starts fresh. And even projecting a decade into the future, Reid does not spend any time on the status of Emira's love life, because it was her independence, contentment, and professional satisfaction that were at the heart of this story - not these things in relation to anyone else. It was also realistically bittersweet that in order to advocate for herself, Emira couldn't hold onto everything she wanted. Sometimes chasing one goal means letting go of something else. Emira had to let go of her deep relationship with the toddler she loved so dearly, and as a result, resigned to the fact that this child would grow up closer to her selfish employer's image than she would have otherwise.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Racial slurs, Racism, Gaslighting, and Classism
Moderate: Body shaming, Cursing, Toxic relationship, Stalking, Cultural appropriation, and Alcohol
Minor: Animal death, Sexual content, Vomit, Police brutality, and Death of parent
kiwichill's review against another edition
dark
inspiring
lighthearted
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
A fresh take on race and how biases can influence our decisions throughout life. It wasn't a predictable book and kept me interested throughout.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Racial slurs, Racism, Toxic relationship, and Classism
Moderate: Bullying, Child abuse, Cursing, Hate crime, Misogyny, Racial slurs, Toxic relationship, Stalking, Death of parent, Cultural appropriation, Gaslighting, Toxic friendship, and Alcohol
crystalleighwrites's review
reflective
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Racism, Alcohol, and Classism
Moderate: Bullying, Cultural appropriation, and Gaslighting
Minor: Cursing, Racial slurs, Police brutality, Death of parent, and Pregnancy
The inciting incident doesn’t go to the point of police brutality but could be triggering how close it could have come to it.bookcaseyyy's review against another edition
challenging
funny
reflective
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
I was really expecting to not like this book because I feel like there was a lot of hype for it a couple of months ago, and I have an ✨individuality complex✨ but I absolutely loved this book!
I guess I was expecting a similar character relationship as in Finlay Donovan Is Killing It, but very intrigued by what this book turned out to be.
I think this book was a genius showcase of white fragility, white “allies”, white wokeness, and the troubles behind intention vs perception. There were so many other themes and messages within this book that’d I’d need to write a paper on it to do it justice haha. Overall, just a very expertly crafted novel that had me audibly laughing, gasping, and crying out.
I guess I was expecting a similar character relationship as in Finlay Donovan Is Killing It, but very intrigued by what this book turned out to be.
I think this book was a genius showcase of white fragility, white “allies”, white wokeness, and the troubles behind intention vs perception. There were so many other themes and messages within this book that’d I’d need to write a paper on it to do it justice haha. Overall, just a very expertly crafted novel that had me audibly laughing, gasping, and crying out.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Racism
Moderate: Death of parent and Alcohol
Minor: Eating disorder and Vomit
jojo_'s review against another edition
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Racism, Cultural appropriation, and Classism
Moderate: Bullying, Racial slurs, Toxic relationship, and Toxic friendship
Minor: Animal death, Vomit, Police brutality, Stalking, and Death of parent
thewordsdevourer's review
challenging
funny
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
3.75
i was admittedly a lil skeptical before reading this book bc of the hype, but i have to say, now that ive read it, it's hilarious in a satirical yet scarily realistic way.
the author tackled so many things in such a fun age--race, class, culture, white feminism--yet also managed to somehow ground the story in its characters, who were imbued w/ surprising depth and multidimensionality; emira's quarter life crisis was particularly realistic and relatable.
i also loved the deep dive into different dynamics of white liberalism, feminism, and fragility, and amazed at how reid was able to cohesively weave them all tgt into this subtly concerning yet hilarious book.
the author tackled so many things in such a fun age--race, class, culture, white feminism--yet also managed to somehow ground the story in its characters, who were imbued w/ surprising depth and multidimensionality; emira's quarter life crisis was particularly realistic and relatable.
i also loved the deep dive into different dynamics of white liberalism, feminism, and fragility, and amazed at how reid was able to cohesively weave them all tgt into this subtly concerning yet hilarious book.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Racial slurs and Racism
Moderate: Bullying, Cursing, Toxic relationship, and Alcohol
Minor: Sexual content, Vomit, and Death of parent
mandi4886's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Cursing, Racism, Sexism, and Alcohol
Moderate: Bullying, Racial slurs, Sexual content, Toxic relationship, Vomit, Gaslighting, and Toxic friendship
Minor: Body shaming, Emotional abuse, Kidnapping, Grief, Death of parent, Pregnancy, and Cultural appropriation
mathildarech's review
emotional
informative
reflective
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
this book. just wow.
this book combines a great story with many social and current issues. such as race, privilege, money, savior complex, fetishization of poc (especially women) and much more.
It is thought provoking in a way I have never experienced before.
The story is told from two different points of view (a white woman and a black woman), which I really liked and punctualizes the problem even more.
this book combines a great story with many social and current issues. such as race, privilege, money, savior complex, fetishization of poc (especially women) and much more.
It is thought provoking in a way I have never experienced before.
The story is told from two different points of view (a white woman and a black woman), which I really liked and punctualizes the problem even more.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Racism
Minor: Racial slurs, Stalking, and Death of parent
alisazhup's review
challenging
emotional
funny
reflective
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
I agree with other reviewers that the ending was underwhelming (all the discussions the book opened were abruptly sealed), but up until the last 10 or so pages, I was extremely impressed by the complex character dynamics. I loved this.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Deadnaming, Emotional abuse, Racism, and Police brutality
Moderate: Bullying, Cursing, Fatphobia, and Alcohol
Minor: Animal death, Pedophilia, Racial slurs, Blood, and Death of parent
Child neglectzombiezami's review against another edition
emotional
funny
hopeful
mysterious
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
Content Warnings
Moderate: Animal death, Body shaming, Cursing, Racial slurs, Racism, Sexual content, and Vomit
Minor: Death, Police brutality, and Death of parent