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mynameisrebecca's review against another edition
dark
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Racism and Cultural appropriation
Moderate: Body shaming, Racial slurs, Vomit, and Police brutality
Minor: Emotional abuse
hdunscombe's review against another edition
emotional
funny
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Emira has just come out of a racially charged situation at a grocery store. During an unexpected late-night babysitting outing, a fellow shopper and a security officer corner Emira, who is Black, and insinuate that she has kidnapped her almost 3-year-old charge, who is white. What ensues is several months of convoluted attempts to move on, between Emira, her employer, her significant other, and the very loveable toddler that Emira just wants to spend her shifts cherishing.
The subtlety between these interconnected relationships is phenomenal. Reid has us convinced that Emira's employer and boyfriend each believe they have Emira's interests at heart, but as weedy histories, offhand comments, and questionable behaviors are revealed, their respective intentions get called into question more and more.
Despite the heavy premise, this story has so many moments of delight, especially when it comes to deep female friendship, early adulthood habits and settings, awkward motherhood/caretaker moments, and the silly seriousness of the toddler who is at "such a fun age".
I loved seeing Emira's perspective in contrast with her employer's within the same scenes; the latter was often sanctimonious and obsessive when it came to her "sitter", while the latter saw through all of it with a sigh and an eye roll. And despite her employer's and boyfriend's insistence that they are each looking out for her, their self-interest, privilege, and opposition to each other obscure Emira's true interests at every turn.
Aside from the toddler's absolutely ADORABLE questions, Emira's loveable group of quippy friends, and Reid's stellar dialogue, my favorite aspect of this book is how stealthily Reid inspires compassion for the individuals making Emira's life so complicated. I often found myself thinking, "Aww [they] are trying so hard to have their heart in the right place..." before remembering, "Wait - this is so messed up!" These characters convince themselves that actions like phone stalking, infantilization, gaslighting, white saviorism, fetishizing, tokenizing, and virtue signaling are actually all protecting Emira - as if she needs protection as a 25-year-old adult. Yet they are still humanized by Reid's their (albeit twisted) beliefs that they are doing the right thing, and Reid's dialogue. In the end, both spend so much time pointing fingers at each other for racism, that they forget their own.
There is also an unknowability to Emira's white boyfriend that makes him feel especially realistic. Without his point of view, we only see his track record of surrounding himself with Black friends, exclusively dating Black women, inserting himself into the racially charged inciting incident as if he is an authority on race relations, taking Emira to a white-friendly coded bar, and casually not censoring a racial slur as if he is part of the community it denigrates. We don't know the motivation behind these actions, so we're left to draw conclusions along with Emira. He is a good mirror of individuals in the real world who believe themselves to be woke and anti-racist because they can recognize overt racism, yet obliviously display a subtler form racism and white privilege in how they move through the world.
Finally, I adored the ending. At first, I worried that Emira would reconnect with her boyfriend after she learns that he did not leak a video of the grocery store incident. But she steers clear and moves on from the complete tornado of relationships she's been stuck in and starts fresh. And even projecting a decade into the future, Reid does not spend any time on the status of Emira's love life, because it was her independence, contentment, and professional satisfaction that were at the heart of this story - not these things in relation to anyone else. It was also realistically bittersweet that in order to advocate for herself, Emira couldn't hold onto everything she wanted. Sometimes chasing one goal means letting go of something else. Emira had to let go of her deep relationship with the toddler she loved so dearly, and as a result, resigned to the fact that this child would grow up closer to her selfish employer's image than she would have otherwise.
The subtlety between these interconnected relationships is phenomenal. Reid has us convinced that Emira's employer and boyfriend each believe they have Emira's interests at heart, but as weedy histories, offhand comments, and questionable behaviors are revealed, their respective intentions get called into question more and more.
Despite the heavy premise, this story has so many moments of delight, especially when it comes to deep female friendship, early adulthood habits and settings, awkward motherhood/caretaker moments, and the silly seriousness of the toddler who is at "such a fun age".
Aside from the toddler's absolutely ADORABLE questions, Emira's loveable group of quippy friends, and Reid's stellar dialogue, my favorite aspect of this book is how stealthily Reid inspires compassion for the individuals making Emira's life so complicated. I often found myself thinking, "Aww [they] are trying so hard to have their heart in the right place..." before remembering, "Wait - this is so messed up!" These characters convince themselves that actions like phone stalking, infantilization, gaslighting, white saviorism, fetishizing, tokenizing, and virtue signaling are actually all protecting Emira - as if she needs protection as a 25-year-old adult. Yet they are still humanized by Reid's their (albeit twisted) beliefs that they are doing the right thing, and Reid's dialogue. In the end, both spend so much time pointing fingers at each other for racism, that they forget their own.
There is also an unknowability to Emira's white boyfriend that makes him feel especially realistic. Without his point of view, we only see his track record of surrounding himself with Black friends, exclusively dating Black women, inserting himself into the racially charged inciting incident as if he is an authority on race relations, taking Emira to a white-friendly coded bar, and casually not censoring a racial slur as if he is part of the community it denigrates. We don't know the motivation behind these actions, so we're left to draw conclusions along with Emira. He is a good mirror of individuals in the real world who believe themselves to be woke and anti-racist because they can recognize overt racism, yet obliviously display a subtler form racism and white privilege in how they move through the world.
Finally, I adored the ending. At first, I worried that Emira would reconnect with her boyfriend after she learns that he did not leak a video of the grocery store incident. But she steers clear and moves on from the complete tornado of relationships she's been stuck in and starts fresh. And even projecting a decade into the future, Reid does not spend any time on the status of Emira's love life, because it was her independence, contentment, and professional satisfaction that were at the heart of this story - not these things in relation to anyone else. It was also realistically bittersweet that in order to advocate for herself, Emira couldn't hold onto everything she wanted. Sometimes chasing one goal means letting go of something else. Emira had to let go of her deep relationship with the toddler she loved so dearly, and as a result, resigned to the fact that this child would grow up closer to her selfish employer's image than she would have otherwise.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Racial slurs, Racism, Gaslighting, and Classism
Moderate: Body shaming, Cursing, Toxic relationship, Stalking, Cultural appropriation, and Alcohol
Minor: Animal death, Sexual content, Vomit, Police brutality, and Death of parent
lottiebrooks's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
The author does dialogue and specific descriptions like no other. Chefs kiss.
Didn’t love how little actually happened in the story aside from thoughts, but Briar made this a 4 instead of a 3
Didn’t love how little actually happened in the story aside from thoughts, but Briar made this a 4 instead of a 3
Content Warnings
Graphic: Body shaming, Hate crime, Racial slurs, Racism, and Police brutality
dielilla's review
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Racism, Cultural appropriation, and Classism
Moderate: Racial slurs and Toxic relationship
Minor: Body shaming, Bullying, and Alcohol
kristinamj's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Body shaming, Fatphobia, and Racial slurs
alisonfaith426's review against another edition
challenging
informative
reflective
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
3.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Body shaming, Cursing, Fatphobia, Racial slurs, Racism, Sexual content, Toxic relationship, Vomit, Pregnancy, and Classism
Moderate: Alcohol
Minor: Drug use
eliya's review
emotional
hopeful
mysterious
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
3.5
i did really like this book especially as a 26 year old nanny lmao
good read, entertaining and informative, relatable. I love how she is able to make both characters relatable even if it’s not something that is conventionally an okay thing to do, the reader is able to see the thought processes, which i did like.
the author’s explicit obsession with skinniness sucks and was a surprisingly persistent fetish throughout the book from both perspectives
the way it’s written is very honest which i really enjoyed, the highs and lows aren’t super dramatic so i don’t recommend this if you want something super juicy, but it is a good story that points out some truly shitty behaviors. that’s all it really has to be & i really like that.
insane that him using the n word wasn’t an immediate red flag, she could have saved herself so much grief lmao. a friend of mine who read this too pointed out that this book reads like a romantic novel but doesn’t end as one, and i love that.
good read, entertaining and informative, relatable. I love how she is able to make both characters relatable even if it’s not something that is conventionally an okay thing to do, the reader is able to see the thought processes, which i did like.
the author’s explicit obsession with skinniness sucks and was a surprisingly persistent fetish throughout the book from both perspectives
the way it’s written is very honest which i really enjoyed, the highs and lows aren’t super dramatic so i don’t recommend this if you want something super juicy, but it is a good story that points out some truly shitty behaviors. that’s all it really has to be & i really like that.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Body shaming and Racism
Moderate: Cursing, Eating disorder, and Fatphobia
Minor: Racial slurs
elderwoodreads's review against another edition
emotional
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.75
This book has a slow start but once you are in you're in! I did not want to put it down. I think the way racism is handled in this book is so interesting and important, especially as it pertains to racism in white spaces that espouse themselves as liberal. Highly recommend!!
Content Warnings
Graphic: Cursing and Racism
Moderate: Bullying, Racial slurs, Sexual content, and Alcohol
Minor: Animal death, Body shaming, Fatphobia, Infidelity, Vomit, Pregnancy, and Classism
smashbooks's review against another edition
tense
medium-paced
4.0
Content Warnings
Moderate: Racism
Minor: Body shaming and Racial slurs
lpdx's review against another edition
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Racism and Cultural appropriation
Moderate: Bullying, Racial slurs, and Classism
Minor: Body shaming and Vomit