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tumblehawk's review against another edition
5.0
My friend Jackie is such a great storyteller. Her memoir reads like you’re sitting beside her listening to her life around a campfire or on a long road trip. The story begins at a moment a year into her second marriage to her love Bill, who made it clear very early on that he didn’t want kids—but this moment opens up a wanting in Jackie that she thought she’d made peace with. The story moves forward from there, but braids in another story—the story of her life from girlhood to that moment with Bill. I’m really into the word (or the idea of) cartography right now and the way Jackie maps out her own particular womanhood, her sexuality, the pressures put upon her by forces both external and internal, renders a map that you can see so clearly as a reader. It’s a beautiful book that leans hard into life’s uncertainties. It made me think a lot about a cartography of my own I’ve been working on, taught me a lot about the delicacy and bravery of writing about family and relationships.
read_with_pinot's review against another edition
3.0
I liked the writing and many of the reflections but when it came to the primary theme - not having children - I am confused about the author’s position. I felt like she was trying to convince herself that she had chosen her husband instead of children & was ok with fine with that but I wasn’t convinced. I felt the author and her husband should have spent far more time working thru the issue together instead it seemed the author was left to work thru her feelings herself.
ceetamarie's review against another edition
3.0
I feel weird giving 3 stars to a memoir, because it makes me feel like I’m judging her life, but I just didn’t relate to her much. She had some points that made think about things from a different perspective though, and that’s all I ever want from a book, so worth it I suppose. Not disappointed I read it, but I just didn’t love it.
robinsbooks's review against another edition
4.0
Loved this candid memoir. More to come.
Thanks to the publisher for the advance digital reading copy.
Thanks to the publisher for the advance digital reading copy.
rosecityreader's review against another edition
5.0
Jackie Shannon Hollis is a writer, storyteller, and speaker who grew up with the assumption she would get married and have kids. When she fell in love with a man who didn't want children, she had to examine her assumptions and chose a different path. Her new memoir, This Particular Happiness: A Childless Love Story (Forest Avenue Press), looks back on her happy life without children of her own.
Hollis shines a light on the complex decisions around becoming a parent or not. She looks at her upbringing and how it influenced her choices in relationships and the question of whether to become a parent. She considers how much of her longing for kids came from external pressure and how much was her own desire. She examines her husband’s history and what made him uninterested in becoming a parent – and why she still wanted to build a life with him.
While the book focuses on the decision to become a parent, it has broader appeal as a book about self-discovery. Hollis explores this bigger topic of trying to find one's true self. The ultimate message of her book is that happiness is beautifully complex, and we each have our own “particular” way of being happy. The title reflects Hollis's surprise at finding happiness in life she didn’t expect, a “happiness” made of being present for all the joys and pains of being alive.
Hollis shines a light on the complex decisions around becoming a parent or not. She looks at her upbringing and how it influenced her choices in relationships and the question of whether to become a parent. She considers how much of her longing for kids came from external pressure and how much was her own desire. She examines her husband’s history and what made him uninterested in becoming a parent – and why she still wanted to build a life with him.
While the book focuses on the decision to become a parent, it has broader appeal as a book about self-discovery. Hollis explores this bigger topic of trying to find one's true self. The ultimate message of her book is that happiness is beautifully complex, and we each have our own “particular” way of being happy. The title reflects Hollis's surprise at finding happiness in life she didn’t expect, a “happiness” made of being present for all the joys and pains of being alive.
msmoodyreader's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
funny
hopeful
reflective
sad
medium-paced
4.5
loribeth1961's review against another edition
5.0
As Gateway Women
And some are what blogger Sue Fagalde Lick calls "Childless by Marriage." They marry a man who doesn't want children. Perhaps their husband initially said yes to kids, but changed his mind after the marriage. Perhaps he already has children from another relationship(s), and doesn't want any more. Perhaps the woman didn't think she wanted wanted children either, but changed her mind. In these cases, a decision must be made: whether to stay in the marriage (which is often otherwise good), or leave and try to find another partner to try to have a child with while still fertile.
"This Particular Happiness: A Childless Love Story" by Jackie Shannon Hollis is a memoir that falls into the "childless by marriage" category. Jackie's husband Bill was clear from the beginning of their relationship that he did not want children. Jackie didn't think she wanted children either -- until the day she held her newborn niece and was suddenly overcome with a raging case of baby fever.
The book spans Jackie's life, from childhood to the present, going back & forth in time to tell her story. It's about coming to terms with childlessness. It's about relationships -- with friends and family members, as well as partners -- and about building a satisfying and fulfilling life -- even when that life doesn't go exactly the way we had hoped or planned.
My own route/door to that room called childlessness was very different from Jackie's, but there were many things in this book I could relate to. Jackie is just a few years older than me -- we grew up in the same era, and absorbed similar attitudes about what women's lives could be like. While I never lived on a farm, I could relate to Jackie's upbringing in a small, rural community. We are both very proud aunties -- albeit my husband & I have just two nephews, versus Bill & Jackie's 40+!! nieces & nephews together (including inlaws & "greats").
I loved the closing chapter, and Jackie's reflections on being childless in her 50s. Excerpt:
This book was beautifully and honestly written. It's a moving portrait of coming to terms with a childless life. Overall, it's a great read. I gave it five stars.
And some are what blogger Sue Fagalde Lick calls "Childless by Marriage." They marry a man who doesn't want children. Perhaps their husband initially said yes to kids, but changed his mind after the marriage. Perhaps he already has children from another relationship(s), and doesn't want any more. Perhaps the woman didn't think she wanted wanted children either, but changed her mind. In these cases, a decision must be made: whether to stay in the marriage (which is often otherwise good), or leave and try to find another partner to try to have a child with while still fertile.
"This Particular Happiness: A Childless Love Story" by Jackie Shannon Hollis is a memoir that falls into the "childless by marriage" category. Jackie's husband Bill was clear from the beginning of their relationship that he did not want children. Jackie didn't think she wanted children either -- until the day she held her newborn niece and was suddenly overcome with a raging case of baby fever.
The book spans Jackie's life, from childhood to the present, going back & forth in time to tell her story. It's about coming to terms with childlessness. It's about relationships -- with friends and family members, as well as partners -- and about building a satisfying and fulfilling life -- even when that life doesn't go exactly the way we had hoped or planned.
My own route/door to that room called childlessness was very different from Jackie's, but there were many things in this book I could relate to. Jackie is just a few years older than me -- we grew up in the same era, and absorbed similar attitudes about what women's lives could be like. While I never lived on a farm, I could relate to Jackie's upbringing in a small, rural community. We are both very proud aunties -- albeit my husband & I have just two nephews, versus Bill & Jackie's 40+!! nieces & nephews together (including inlaws & "greats").
I loved the closing chapter, and Jackie's reflections on being childless in her 50s. Excerpt:
Women who are grandmothers say, "It's the best. You have no idea." I don't think they mean it literally. They forget that I truly have no idea what it's like to be a grandmother, and I never will. They're caught up in their own joy. I try to stay caught up in mine.
They say, "I get all the fun of having the grandkids and none of the drudgery." This part I know. It's the joy I've had all along...
This book was beautifully and honestly written. It's a moving portrait of coming to terms with a childless life. Overall, it's a great read. I gave it five stars.
vegebrarian's review
5.0
This memoir was about Hollis' emotional journey to not have children (mainly because her partner didn't want kids). I thought it was going to be too triggering, but it wasn't. I felt frustrated and sad for her. She is truly in touch with herself and it was an honest and moving narration of her going through the decision that never stops being a decision.
robintz's review
3.0
Grabbed this at the library the other day for no particular reason other than the title. As someone who always knew I wanted kids (and had three of them) I think I was hoping for a look into someone else's world who had made a different choice and was happy with it.
However....Jackie never does seem happy with her choice. She pines for a child for years and years, she hints, she cajoles, she asks, she considers stopping her birth control to see what might happen (but doesn't).
When tragedy strikes her family she finally seems somewhat reconciled to her choice, but happy? Not so sure about that. And the ending? When her husband finally acknowledges that maybe he made a mistake by not wanting kids? Ugh....my heart would break all over again. She says at that point that she's not sorry, and I hope it's true, but the entire story itself really felt like a story of her wanting and her giving up because she didn't want to lose her husband. Not really childless by choice at all.
And I had to wonder- given how she spent so much time talking about all the self-help classes they both took, how honesty was such an important part of their relationship, why on earth didn't they see a counselor in those early years who could have helped them speak about this in ways that maybe would have let Bill know how much she desperately wanted a child? Why does he only realize it when it's too late? That doesn't feel very honest to me.
However....Jackie never does seem happy with her choice. She pines for a child for years and years, she hints, she cajoles, she asks, she considers stopping her birth control to see what might happen (but doesn't).
When tragedy strikes her family she finally seems somewhat reconciled to her choice, but happy? Not so sure about that. And the ending? When her husband finally acknowledges that maybe he made a mistake by not wanting kids? Ugh....my heart would break all over again. She says at that point that she's not sorry, and I hope it's true, but the entire story itself really felt like a story of her wanting and her giving up because she didn't want to lose her husband. Not really childless by choice at all.
And I had to wonder- given how she spent so much time talking about all the self-help classes they both took, how honesty was such an important part of their relationship, why on earth didn't they see a counselor in those early years who could have helped them speak about this in ways that maybe would have let Bill know how much she desperately wanted a child? Why does he only realize it when it's too late? That doesn't feel very honest to me.