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peachy_gene's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.25
I don't think this book hit me the way it seems to hit for people that don't listen to trauma for 40 hours a week [I'm a trauma therapist].There was nothing shocking about this book, however, the details are unimaginably difficult to read. I don't find Yanagihara's writing really all that beautiful- but this story is also really really ugly so I feel like that's on purpose? A devastating demonstration of love, and a reminder that sometimes love is not enough to make people choose to stay.
This book [imo] asks readers to have hard conversations with loved ones and reminds us to make sure our loved ones know the role they play in our lives- it shines light on the fact that Even if they know, they may not be able to be that forever. Sometimes we can't save people, especially from themselves, and especially from what the world has done to them. This book requires empathy and emotional shieldng to get through.
I see a lot of people saying Jude was enabled and frustrating and I agree. But I do think Yanagihara's depiction of what it's like to never be able to see yourself through the eyes of those who love you is extremely well done . The story depicts how formative our earliest years are in relation to how we trust, and form connection and this that translates into adult life. This novel is very much trauma a centered, and looks very deeply at the way trauma shapes our worldview, self perception and life outlook especially when we are leg to believe we are non-human undeserving of the healing it takes to seek trust and the company is others, to crave it desperately and have no idea what to do with that once we have obtained it.
I didn't have any visceral reaction this except for the imagery which was rare. The depictions of abuse, are Even written in a very flat way. The only time I felt anything was when the pov was from Harold, but again- this feels intentional given the subject matter. I think we are perhaps meant to be emotionally disconnected, as Jude has had to be.
I certainly didn't feel that this is the great gay novel by any means. But it is perhaps, an excellent case study for trauma's influence of the human existence if left untreated for a lifetime. It also lends excellent focus to the challenges when life is constant body horror, Jude's inability to connect with his even when he absolutely needed to, his constant act of rebellion towards the vessel he inhabits as punishment for sins he never committed; the impact of rage that is held within and never expressed.This commentary is something that is deeply felt, but extra so when a reader has a very specific set of traumas.
It looks at codependency, [lack of] autonomy, illness, what it means to exist in a body when you couldn't consent to being born, and asks what community is actually responsible for when a person has to be convinced that life really can be with living. This is not a hopeful story. It's sad and I can't ever recommend it to anyone. It never gets better. It has layers that I kept trying to find hope in, with no success. It's nothing but suffering, even happiness glimmers are temporary. I found it truly human at times, while deeply unbelievable at others, but mostly, I found it relatable and for that reason I will be talking about it with my therapist tomorrow.
Graphic: Abandonment, Blood, Chronic illness, Domestic abuse, Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Body horror, Body shaming, Medical trauma, Vomit, Car accident, Child abuse, Child death, Cursing, Drug use, Emotional abuse, Injury/Injury detail, Death, Suicide attempt, Eating disorder, Fire/Fire injury, Forced institutionalization, Gaslighting, Grief, Physical abuse, Rape, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Toxic relationship, Gore, Homophobia, Kidnapping, Medical content, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Pedophilia, Suicide, Terminal illness, Torture, Trafficking, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Violence, and Ableism
caitlin_d89's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.25
Graphic: Suicidal thoughts, Injury/Injury detail, Forced institutionalization, Sexual harassment, Sexual content, Dysphoria, Blood, Ableism, Medical content, Gaslighting, Confinement, Body shaming, Abandonment, Violence, Toxic relationship, Sexual assault, Self harm, Torture, Suicide attempt, Physical abuse, Pedophilia, Emotional abuse, Adult/minor relationship, Sexual violence, Rape, Trafficking, Suicide, Mental illness, Gore, Domestic abuse, Chronic illness, Body horror, Incest, and Child abuse
Minor: Cancer, Car accident, Gaslighting, Addiction, Bullying, Gore, Biphobia, Vomit, Toxic friendship, Medical content, Death, Fire/Fire injury, Religious bigotry, Death of parent, Lesbophobia, Chronic illness, Confinement, Cursing, Incest, Drug abuse, Eating disorder, and Kidnapping
alycnsuha's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
Honestly I still got confused about who's the author talking about until the 3rd chapters but nvm. The plot was actually good I love how details the stories are. But I think the ending is a little uhh cliffhanging(??) since they didn't actually tell what happened to Jude that made him became 👼🏻👼🏻
Graphic: Injury/Injury detail, Self harm, Sexual violence, Chronic illness, Fire/Fire injury, Rape, Mental illness, Pedophilia, Sexual content, Sexual harassment, Suicide, Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, Child death, Death, Physical abuse, Toxic relationship, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Ableism, Car accident, Eating disorder, Deadnaming, Gore, Grief, Sexual assault, Medical trauma, Medical content, Suicide attempt, and Suicidal thoughts
rainreading's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Graphic: Kidnapping, Medical content, Addiction, Emotional abuse, Child abuse, Child death, Chronic illness, Death of parent, Drug abuse, Eating disorder, Excrement, Fire/Fire injury, Homophobia, Death, Domestic abuse, Forced institutionalization, Injury/Injury detail, Blood, Fatphobia, Gaslighting, Gore, Car accident, Grief, and Body shaming
palebea's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
I went into this book totally blind and I don't even know how I managed that. I was looking for a palate cleanser and somehow fell on this.
I don't recommend it. I think you need to look at the TWs and take them seriously. Don't take them as a challenge. I listened to this book and had the words echoing in my head for months. The emotional turmoil I went through reading this book - I don't think I would have appreciated this if I read this about a year ago when I was in the pits of my own struggles.
That all said. This book changed how I viewed a lot of things. It's so painfully sad and take painful literally here, I spent hours sobbing. The writing is beautiful, the way the characters develop. The world they live in. Months on and I'm still struggling to really put into words how impactful this book was. On a surface level, I can understand why people regard as it as "trauma porn" but the sad reality of the world is that it just isn't rosy.
I connected to a lot of the descriptions and experiences of really gnarly MH struggles. It's not comfortable to read about.
I will re read this book at some point but it's an undertaking I'm so not ready for.
Graphic: Mental illness, Rape, Self harm, Sexual content, Suicide, Adult/minor relationship, Gaslighting, Injury/Injury detail, Panic attacks/disorders, Suicide attempt, Grief, Child abuse, Gore, Pedophilia, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Trafficking, and Suicidal thoughts
Moderate: Body shaming, Emotional abuse, and Eating disorder
PLEASE DO NOT GO INTO THIS LIGHTLY. THE TWS ARE GRAPHICALLY DISCUSSED AND DESCRIBED. THEY ARE MAIN THEMES TO THE BOOK. THERE IS NO HEA. THERE IS NO RESBITE TO MAKE THE HARROWING READ MORE PALATABLE. SERIOUSLY CALL YOUR THERAPIST AND IF YOU DON'T HAVE ONE.. GET ONE.fpcat99's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Graphic: Car accident, Body shaming, Grief, Pedophilia, Medical content, Bullying, Eating disorder, Suicidal thoughts, Medical trauma, Vomit, Ableism, Forced institutionalization, Gore, Mental illness, Self harm, Drug abuse, Domestic abuse, Sexual assault, Death, Death of parent, Dysphoria, Rape, Addiction, Blood, Child death, Chronic illness, Cursing, Sexual content, Confinement, Emotional abuse, Suicide attempt, Adult/minor relationship, Suicide, Sexual violence, Torture, Abandonment, Child abuse, Drug use, Injury/Injury detail, Panic attacks/disorders, Schizophrenia/Psychosis , Fire/Fire injury, Toxic relationship, Trafficking, and Violence
ashlynregan's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Graphic: Vomit, Cursing, Drug use, Terminal illness, Racial slurs, Violence, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Bullying, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Gaslighting, Mental illness, Suicide attempt, Toxic friendship, Adult/minor relationship, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Toxic relationship, Sexual assault, Torture, Ableism, Body horror, Body shaming, Fire/Fire injury, Chronic illness, Death, Blood, Car accident, Addiction, Child death, Forced institutionalization, Child abuse, Injury/Injury detail, Medical trauma, Panic attacks/disorders, Religious bigotry, Sexual harassment, Suicidal thoughts, Grief, Rape, Infidelity, Abandonment, Gore, Medical content, Self harm, and Suicide
sirensreviews's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Graphic: Abandonment, Adult/minor relationship, Medical trauma, Gaslighting, Bullying, Body shaming, Child abuse, Chronic illness, Torture, Suicide attempt, Physical abuse, Sexual violence, Hate crime, Grief, Addiction, Transphobia, Toxic relationship, Toxic friendship, Incest, Sexual content, Self harm, Pedophilia, Panic attacks/disorders, Trafficking, Emotional abuse, Cursing, Death, Suicidal thoughts, Sexual harassment, Rape, Gore, Forced institutionalization, Blood, Death of parent, Violence, Mental illness, Injury/Injury detail, Homophobia, Drug abuse, Drug use, Suicide, Domestic abuse, Sexual assault, and Kidnapping
This is the saddest book that you will ever read. It never gets better and I do not recommend reading it quickly because it is alot to take in.willemstfrancis's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Graphic: Grief, Panic attacks/disorders, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Car accident, Chronic illness, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Violence, Blood, Suicide attempt, Torture, Terminal illness, Drug abuse, Drug use, Toxic relationship, Death of parent, Emotional abuse, Addiction, Body horror, Body shaming, Kidnapping, Mental illness, Eating disorder, Gore, Sexual content, Sexual harassment, Ableism, Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, Cursing, and Death
garbche's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Loveable characters? No
0.75
Graphic: Suicide, Violence, Confinement, Drug abuse, Drug use, Emotional abuse, Fire/Fire injury, Grief, Homophobia, Suicidal thoughts, Abandonment, Bullying, Gore, Self harm, Addiction, Child abuse, Medical content, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Dysphoria, Eating disorder, Kidnapping, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Body shaming, Injury/Injury detail, Medical trauma, Physical abuse, Rape, Torture, Pedophilia, Sexual harassment, Sexual violence, Suicide attempt, Toxic relationship, Adult/minor relationship, Blood, Domestic abuse, and Body horror