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240 reviews for:
Do ostatnich dni. Zapis życia, choroby i wszystkiego, co przychodzi później
Julie Yip-Williams
3.99 AVERAGE
240 reviews for:
Do ostatnich dni. Zapis życia, choroby i wszystkiego, co przychodzi później
Julie Yip-Williams
3.99 AVERAGE
As you might expect from a book compiled from blog posts, written by someone grappling with her life and death, Yip-William's writing in this book vacillates all over the place. Certain passages are beautiful and inspiring, achieving her stated purpose of conveying the insights that she hopes may assist others (cancer patients, yes, but also anyone suffering) in knowing they are not alone. Other passages, however, are bitter and devoid of empathy (see her repeated messages of jealousy directed at the "Slutty Second Wife" or the people she observes enjoying life and assumes are carefree). Still others are horrific and painful to read, such as her breakdown in which she is so consumed with anger that she causes her husband and children to fear for their safety. Others are unnecessary, such as the points of repetition and the long lists of incomprehensible (except to medical personnel and the cancer community) treatment options. Obviously, all of the emotions that Yip-Williams experiences and conveys so honestly are valid--this is her life and her story and we readers are privileged that she was willing to share them with us. Just be ready!
Separately, and much less importantly than understanding the rest of what to expect, I also want to voice a certain discomfort I felt around Yip-Williams unacknowledged privilege. She "made it" on talent and will from very difficult beginnings, so her financial and social privilege is earned, but on some level it's still jarring when she mentions off-hand that she is, of course, hiring a private chef to take care of her family's meals after her death, or the many times she uses a network of powerful connections to circumvent typical wait times to see a specialist or receive a particular treatment much sooner than others. I'm sure anyone else would do the same and yet it struck me repeatedly how many cancer patients reading the book, certainly almost all, wouldn't have the financial security to leave their job and remodel the perfect New York (view of the Statue of Liberty!) apartment for their family to live in after they are gone or invest in expensive, experimental trials of mice and flies injected with their specific cancer cells to test novel drug combinations. I guess that privilege is part of why it is her story that is being told, as opposed to the story of others. Her skill and honesty in the telling is certainly another part.
Separately, and much less importantly than understanding the rest of what to expect, I also want to voice a certain discomfort I felt around Yip-Williams unacknowledged privilege. She "made it" on talent and will from very difficult beginnings, so her financial and social privilege is earned, but on some level it's still jarring when she mentions off-hand that she is, of course, hiring a private chef to take care of her family's meals after her death, or the many times she uses a network of powerful connections to circumvent typical wait times to see a specialist or receive a particular treatment much sooner than others. I'm sure anyone else would do the same and yet it struck me repeatedly how many cancer patients reading the book, certainly almost all, wouldn't have the financial security to leave their job and remodel the perfect New York (view of the Statue of Liberty!) apartment for their family to live in after they are gone or invest in expensive, experimental trials of mice and flies injected with their specific cancer cells to test novel drug combinations. I guess that privilege is part of why it is her story that is being told, as opposed to the story of others. Her skill and honesty in the telling is certainly another part.
I’m not really sure how to rate a memoir of someone’s cancer story... so would give it three stars if I rated it, but I don’t think I will.
This was definitely a super sad book; reading the story of how a woman has to face her colon cancer while still trying to maintain a normal life and raise two daughters can’t really be anything but sad. Cancer really steals the joy out of life, especially when people are so young and don’t have health issues otherwise. Reading about how Williams is deciding to do treatments, or not do them, to spend time with her family, to try and leave a legacy for her daughters, to write amidst all the pain and chaos was moving, but also just super sad. If you don’t like sad books, this one ain’t for you. I enjoyed how Williams would stop her current story every so often and go back and talk about her childhood: moving to America, surviving when she should have died, getting into Harvard, etc.
One con that I found unnecessary for this book was all the man-hating she did in certain parts. She called men weak over and over for getting remarried a few years after their spouse had died, saying that they couldn’t be alone and always had to have a wife taking care of their every need, like they’re children who wouldn’t know what to eat for dinner unless a plate is placed in front of them. I understand the thought of her own husband moving on is hard, but she seemed to be dissing men in general for getting married again, which doesn’t make sense to me. Of course they would want to be married again; if they enjoyed their first marriage, they would want to experience that joy and companionship again.
This was definitely a super sad book; reading the story of how a woman has to face her colon cancer while still trying to maintain a normal life and raise two daughters can’t really be anything but sad. Cancer really steals the joy out of life, especially when people are so young and don’t have health issues otherwise. Reading about how Williams is deciding to do treatments, or not do them, to spend time with her family, to try and leave a legacy for her daughters, to write amidst all the pain and chaos was moving, but also just super sad. If you don’t like sad books, this one ain’t for you. I enjoyed how Williams would stop her current story every so often and go back and talk about her childhood: moving to America, surviving when she should have died, getting into Harvard, etc.
One con that I found unnecessary for this book was all the man-hating she did in certain parts. She called men weak over and over for getting remarried a few years after their spouse had died, saying that they couldn’t be alone and always had to have a wife taking care of their every need, like they’re children who wouldn’t know what to eat for dinner unless a plate is placed in front of them. I understand the thought of her own husband moving on is hard, but she seemed to be dissing men in general for getting married again, which doesn’t make sense to me. Of course they would want to be married again; if they enjoyed their first marriage, they would want to experience that joy and companionship again.
I found it a very interesting story of resilience despite life's challenges. It is incredible what JYW had to face right from when she was just a baby. And she is able to talk about all of it with clarity and details.
I gave it four stars because it is repetitive at times, and it could have used an edit to make it a bit shorter and would have not lost any of its power. That said, it is an interesting read.
I gave it four stars because it is repetitive at times, and it could have used an edit to make it a bit shorter and would have not lost any of its power. That said, it is an interesting read.
I have mixed feelings about this one. Julie, nearly put to death at infancy for having cataracts in war-torn Vietnam, lives a miraculously rewarding life as a traveller, parent, wife, businesswoman, and gets the news that she has cancer. This is her largely unvarnished firsthand account of the years leading to her eventual death.
She goes through the ringer, as you'd expect, but there's plenty of room for the mundane, the incredible, and the humbling.
She goes through the ringer, as you'd expect, but there's plenty of room for the mundane, the incredible, and the humbling.
My first read of 2020. Decided to read it after listening to the podcast she also did. I loved her radical honesty. Some parts I found repetitive. I agree with her that it is better to live your life rather than fight to the bitter end at expense of your life. She was an amazing and inspiring person. If I could experience as much as she did in her short but brilliant life I would be lucky.
This memoir is heartbreaking - a 41 year old lawyer, wife, mother of 2 young girls and a Chinese immigrant who was slotted to die as a baby due to her visual deficits. This story is full of necessary reminders including one of my favorites— “Live while you’re living, friends”. The author also does an exceptional job highlighting how her journey was less pink ribbon, super optimism, rah-rah-rah and instead spoke rawly of wanting to give up many, many times and also wanting to be realistic when the time came when death was near outcomes vs searching for the next treatment option. I respected that a lot. What ultimately lowered the rating for me was the writing.
Incredibly moving story of resilience, the horrors of cancer and gracefully confronting death. These books are also so sad, but also - such an important reminder of all to be grateful for.
I keep saying that I will not read another memoir about a parent/spouse that dies. But, I am so inspired by the honesty, strength and vulnerability behind writing about living and dying and what that means for your partner and children. I am in awe of Julie Yip-Williams. Her fierce fight, her furious planning for her death and her families life after her eventual death is breathtaking. Her writings are honest, they are laced with emotion and empowerment. Her memoir is every bit the legacy for her husband and children that she aimed for.
3.75* This was a beautiful sad story about a women who knew she was dying and what comes with that. It wasn’t easy to read but I do think the conversations that came from it were so important