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1.27k reviews for:
Opvoedfeiten: op data gebaseerd, voor een relaxter ouderschap, van baby tot peuter
Emily Oster
4.08 AVERAGE
1.27k reviews for:
Opvoedfeiten: op data gebaseerd, voor een relaxter ouderschap, van baby tot peuter
Emily Oster
4.08 AVERAGE
Like in the earlier book Expecting Better, I think Oster does a fantastic job in making people understand some of the medical advice on babies, and frame it in terms of choice. I guess that because it's a similar methodology, some of my criticism to the previous book is also applicable to this one. Overall, however, I found this book more interesting and useful than the other - perhaps because most of the advice is not strictly medical, but more pedagogical.
Interesting read, I enjoyed how the data was presented and the authors anecdotes alongside.
This book came recommended to me as one of the few actually good parenting books out there. And even though I promised myself I wouldn't treat the birth of our child as a research project, part of this book's draw was that I wanted to find some actual data out there on some of the decisions one faces as a parent.
There is an entire cottage industry full of blogs, IG accounts, books, forums, apps and endless other resources devoted to the Mommy Wars. I have no time for that. The mommies should call an armistice, imo. To be honest what scares me most about parenting isn't the kid; there seems to be a real culture of child-induced insanity that pervades modern parenting. And even though I'm likely headed there myself, I looked to this book for less emotion and more real-world tangibles.
There are three reasons I really liked this book:
1. Emily Oster, an economist, looks at various peer-reviewed, clinical studies to de-mystify some things that I'm sure all parents burden themselves over. You can find a million forums devoted to questions like: Breastmilk or formula? Day care or nanny? How to sleep train? How to potty train? Will reading to my kid at 9 months set him on a path to become the Smartest Person Alive?
More often than not she finds that there are few qualitative differences in the outcomes of these decisions. Some decisions offer marginal benefits over their alternatives but by and large, these early decisions won't ruin your kid for life. That can be frustrating to someone looking for a black and white answer but it confirms my early suspicions about parenting: there aren't many capital-B "Bad" decisions you can make and those ones are pretty obvious. The rest is just details.
2. Oster doesn't say "Data says this so you should do X. If you don't do X, you're a bad parent." Instead, she lays out the data and gives the reader a framework for how to weigh your decisions.
Every decision will come with pros and cons. Instead of giving parenting advice, she simply gives you the data and says each family unit will need to make the best decisions for themselves. It's less parenting how-to and more decision making how-to.
3. Oster doesn't devalue parents' need for mental, emotional and physical health. We live in a culture where parents are expected to subsume themselves into caring for their child. Your entire identity becomes mommy or daddy. Instead, Oster correctly points out that it's not selfish to occasionally put your own needs above your child. If mom and dad are sacrificing sleep because they think they have to be on high alert all the time, they'll be fried and making extremely poor decisions.
Well-rested parents who are equally prioritizing their needs with their kid's needs will make better decisions for the family unit as a whole. It has echoes of another parenting philosophy I quite like: This child is coming into our lives, so as much as is possible, we as parents dictate things like food, sleep, play, etc. Not the other way around. (Obviously this doesn't apply as much to a newborn as it does an infant.)
There is an entire cottage industry full of blogs, IG accounts, books, forums, apps and endless other resources devoted to the Mommy Wars. I have no time for that. The mommies should call an armistice, imo. To be honest what scares me most about parenting isn't the kid; there seems to be a real culture of child-induced insanity that pervades modern parenting. And even though I'm likely headed there myself, I looked to this book for less emotion and more real-world tangibles.
There are three reasons I really liked this book:
1. Emily Oster, an economist, looks at various peer-reviewed, clinical studies to de-mystify some things that I'm sure all parents burden themselves over. You can find a million forums devoted to questions like: Breastmilk or formula? Day care or nanny? How to sleep train? How to potty train? Will reading to my kid at 9 months set him on a path to become the Smartest Person Alive?
More often than not she finds that there are few qualitative differences in the outcomes of these decisions. Some decisions offer marginal benefits over their alternatives but by and large, these early decisions won't ruin your kid for life. That can be frustrating to someone looking for a black and white answer but it confirms my early suspicions about parenting: there aren't many capital-B "Bad" decisions you can make and those ones are pretty obvious. The rest is just details.
2. Oster doesn't say "Data says this so you should do X. If you don't do X, you're a bad parent." Instead, she lays out the data and gives the reader a framework for how to weigh your decisions.
Every decision will come with pros and cons. Instead of giving parenting advice, she simply gives you the data and says each family unit will need to make the best decisions for themselves. It's less parenting how-to and more decision making how-to.
3. Oster doesn't devalue parents' need for mental, emotional and physical health. We live in a culture where parents are expected to subsume themselves into caring for their child. Your entire identity becomes mommy or daddy. Instead, Oster correctly points out that it's not selfish to occasionally put your own needs above your child. If mom and dad are sacrificing sleep because they think they have to be on high alert all the time, they'll be fried and making extremely poor decisions.
Well-rested parents who are equally prioritizing their needs with their kid's needs will make better decisions for the family unit as a whole. It has echoes of another parenting philosophy I quite like: This child is coming into our lives, so as much as is possible, we as parents dictate things like food, sleep, play, etc. Not the other way around. (Obviously this doesn't apply as much to a newborn as it does an infant.)
hopeful
informative
inspiring
lighthearted
reflective
medium-paced
Content Warnings
Graphic: Pregnancy
Moderate: Body horror, Child abuse, Infertility, Miscarriage, Misogyny
Minor: Child death, Sexual assault, Suicidal thoughts, Vomit
funny
informative
lighthearted
reflective
fast-paced
This provided some helpful reassurance but sometimes it goes a bit beyond what I think the appropriate purview is. A lot less conclusive data in this book, which is both comforting and stressful!
informative
medium-paced
Helpful & informative. I feel like most of the data in this one is pretty nebulous compared to the first book so it’s not as helpful or practical. A lot of the chapters seem to end on a shrug and a statement saying there’s not enough evidence to support anything. Which… thanks? I guess?
informative
medium-paced
informative
fast-paced