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3.93 AVERAGE
3.93 AVERAGE
I'm of the opinion that this book shouldn't exist but I don't think I'm strong enough not to read it.
**
Update:
I read the book, as I knew I would. And I'm still not sure what to think of it. For almost half of it I felt like there was no way Joan wouldn't have wanted this published, that it was so raw, so painful, that she would have destroyed any evidence of these notes before dying if she had truly never intended for them to see the light. She was that kind of person; anyone familiar with her work would know that. So I convinced myself that she wanted this, but that she couldn’t bear to see it published while she was still alive. These notes remove the opaque cloth she used to cover and protect Quintana from the world, even after writing a whole book about losing her. And it also exposes things about herself that she didn't tell anyone, particularly about her health, aging and money. So it made sense to wait, right? It made sense not telling anyone about these pages so no one would have to even read them while she was still here. Well, I'm not so sure anymore.
In general, every page of this little book is filled with intense worrying for her then 34-year-old daughter and trying to help her recover from her alcoholism, analyzing every detail about anything she said or did, navigating multiple emergencies, AA meetings, supporting her financially, neglecting her own health to look after Quintana's, even going back to Joan's childhood (under the guidance of a Freudian psychiatrist that I honestly didn't like, and who often seemed to exacerbate Didion's anxieties and guilt) to search for clues that could help her understand her relationship with her daughter better, all in order to save her. And while reading it, I felt very sad knowing it was all in vain.
At the end, the only certain thing is this: we will never know what she really wanted. I don't think she even knew it herself. The pages were there, she didn't destroy them, and the final decision wasn't hers. I don't regret reading this, but I'm not sure we as readers really needed to. I hope I didn't disrespect her memory by doing so, and I also hope that she's with John and Quintana now.
**
Update:
I read the book, as I knew I would. And I'm still not sure what to think of it. For almost half of it I felt like there was no way Joan wouldn't have wanted this published, that it was so raw, so painful, that she would have destroyed any evidence of these notes before dying if she had truly never intended for them to see the light. She was that kind of person; anyone familiar with her work would know that. So I convinced myself that she wanted this, but that she couldn’t bear to see it published while she was still alive. These notes remove the opaque cloth she used to cover and protect Quintana from the world, even after writing a whole book about losing her. And it also exposes things about herself that she didn't tell anyone, particularly about her health, aging and money. So it made sense to wait, right? It made sense not telling anyone about these pages so no one would have to even read them while she was still here. Well, I'm not so sure anymore.
In general, every page of this little book is filled with intense worrying for her then 34-year-old daughter and trying to help her recover from her alcoholism, analyzing every detail about anything she said or did, navigating multiple emergencies, AA meetings, supporting her financially, neglecting her own health to look after Quintana's, even going back to Joan's childhood (under the guidance of a Freudian psychiatrist that I honestly didn't like, and who often seemed to exacerbate Didion's anxieties and guilt) to search for clues that could help her understand her relationship with her daughter better, all in order to save her. And while reading it, I felt very sad knowing it was all in vain.
At the end, the only certain thing is this: we will never know what she really wanted. I don't think she even knew it herself. The pages were there, she didn't destroy them, and the final decision wasn't hers. I don't regret reading this, but I'm not sure we as readers really needed to. I hope I didn't disrespect her memory by doing so, and I also hope that she's with John and Quintana now.
emotional
informative
mysterious
sad
slow-paced
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
slow-paced
I was browsing BorrowBox when I saw this come up. I had read The Year of Magical Thinking quite a while ago but I remember it being excellent, something that lingered long after reading. This was on audiobook, read by Julianne Moore, whose voice I love.
This was basically a transcript of sessions with a psychiatrist that Didion attended during a difficult period in an effort to help her daughter Quintana, who at that time was failing to recover from alcoholism, and who was isolating herself and not able to get any foothold on life and her own career pathway. In an effort to unpack their relationship and what she might be doing to inhibit her daughter’s recovery, she talks to Dr Cass who guides her in discovering what patterns, past traumas and personal baggage is unconsciously getting in the way of changing a dynamic that currently isn’t working. The premise is really interesting, a deep-dive into the shadow side and what might be necessary to bring to the light for change to occur. However, it is also deeply personal and while I was really interested, another part of me felt it was a transgression, something that perhaps should be as the title says “…for John”.
This raises an important question about books/notes/letters published posthumously. Whose right is it and who gets to decide? It’s something that I was aware of while listening, especially given the intimacy of the subject-matter, and did make me feel uncomfortable: not only is the author’s private life being exposed but her daughter’s too.
The writing is beautifully detailed but objective and non-emotive which is amazing given the dark areas they were addressing: alcoholism, addiction, illness, ageing, adoption, trauma, work, depression…
This is a tricky one to recommend…having listened to it myself, I’m not sure if I should have. It was compelling, intimate and gave great insight into how this writer dealt with a painful period in her life.
This was basically a transcript of sessions with a psychiatrist that Didion attended during a difficult period in an effort to help her daughter Quintana, who at that time was failing to recover from alcoholism, and who was isolating herself and not able to get any foothold on life and her own career pathway. In an effort to unpack their relationship and what she might be doing to inhibit her daughter’s recovery, she talks to Dr Cass who guides her in discovering what patterns, past traumas and personal baggage is unconsciously getting in the way of changing a dynamic that currently isn’t working. The premise is really interesting, a deep-dive into the shadow side and what might be necessary to bring to the light for change to occur. However, it is also deeply personal and while I was really interested, another part of me felt it was a transgression, something that perhaps should be as the title says “…for John”.
This raises an important question about books/notes/letters published posthumously. Whose right is it and who gets to decide? It’s something that I was aware of while listening, especially given the intimacy of the subject-matter, and did make me feel uncomfortable: not only is the author’s private life being exposed but her daughter’s too.
The writing is beautifully detailed but objective and non-emotive which is amazing given the dark areas they were addressing: alcoholism, addiction, illness, ageing, adoption, trauma, work, depression…
This is a tricky one to recommend…having listened to it myself, I’m not sure if I should have. It was compelling, intimate and gave great insight into how this writer dealt with a painful period in her life.
emotional
informative
fast-paced
One of the most informative books I've read this year. Such a heart wrenching description of how parent-child relationships develop.
jarring to the reader and intrusive to the author yet biographically insightful…
emotional
reflective
sad
fast-paced
This book is Didion’s intimate details of her sessions with her therapist, mostly concerning her daughter Quintana’s alcoholism. I feel I flew too close to the sun reading this one. 😢
reflective
slow-paced
couldn’t possible rate this book. don’t know how i feel about the ethics of the publication, however it’s beautiful and sad and heartbreaking to see the way that joan didion tries to face this crisis in her life. what a powerhouse of love and empathy she is. i miss her :(
challenging
emotional
informative
inspiring
fast-paced