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4.32 AVERAGE
4.32 AVERAGE
dark
emotional
informative
sad
tense
fast-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Plot
Strong character development:
Complicated
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
Content Warnings
Graphic: Ableism, Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Biphobia, Body shaming, Bullying, Child abuse, Child death, Drug abuse, Drug use, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Homophobia, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Torture, Violence, Trafficking, Grief, Car accident, Suicide attempt, Sexual harassment, Dysphoria
i picked it up b/c jenna decided to read it, and a few of us who wanted to encourage her to start reading books said we would read it if she got to 100 pages. at times it was compelling, and i wouldn't say i hated the way the author wrote it. it's so long that at some point i was invested enough and i decided i was going to finish it, but JFC.
i think this might have been the hardest book to read that i've ever come across. haunting does not being to describe how intensely fucked up this book was. i would (and have, and will continue to) 100% recommend that no one goes near this life ruiner of a book. i absolutely couldn't read before bed b/c it was so grim/dire/atrocious. i'm simply not interested in reading fiction books about a poor kid going through such extreme physical, sexual, and emotional abuse as a child that it fucks him up for the rest of his life. i hoped there would be a light at the end of the tunnel, a reason for putting myself through such shit to read it, a lesson that might be useful or thought provoking, but no. just more pain and hurt on top of everything else. first willem (and malcolm) dying, then jude sort of holding on for more 3 years but not really until he finally killed himself. and having to read about it from harold's (his amazing adopted dad) POV only added to how brutal it made it. and then also almost everyone else but JB died! even the title was SO cringe worthy! father luke told him to "show a little life" when he was pimping him out as a pre-teen b/c his "clients" complained about the dead look in his eyes/the way he would of course try to imagine he was anywhere else.
also, for someone as smart as jude was supposed to be, i still have trouble with him refusing therapy into so late in his life.
i just don't understand why anyone would want to spend so much time writing such a long book about the worst parts of humanity!
it was interesting to me when he and willem got together. they had obvs been besties and were v close, and willem found himself attracted to jude all of a sudden (jude was supposedly gorg). so they got together, but after maybe a year or so jude came clean about his past and how that fucked him up aka he never got erections and was never interested in sex, so he and willem stopped having sex. it was agreed that willem could go elsewhere, and there relationship from that point on was one of the more interesting parts of the book. willem seemed to like that they didn't follow any convention, they created a new type of relationship in that it was intimate and more than just friends, but really not sexual. they would kiss v occasionally, but it was obvs not a physical thing.
the other good thing is that this book seriously made me appreciate my life for a billion reasons. so there's that.
i think this might have been the hardest book to read that i've ever come across. haunting does not being to describe how intensely fucked up this book was. i would (and have, and will continue to) 100% recommend that no one goes near this life ruiner of a book. i absolutely couldn't read before bed b/c it was so grim/dire/atrocious. i'm simply not interested in reading fiction books about a poor kid going through such extreme physical, sexual, and emotional abuse as a child that it fucks him up for the rest of his life. i hoped there would be a light at the end of the tunnel, a reason for putting myself through such shit to read it, a lesson that might be useful or thought provoking, but no. just more pain and hurt on top of everything else. first willem (and malcolm) dying, then jude sort of holding on for more 3 years but not really until he finally killed himself. and having to read about it from harold's (his amazing adopted dad) POV only added to how brutal it made it. and then also almost everyone else but JB died! even the title was SO cringe worthy! father luke told him to "show a little life" when he was pimping him out as a pre-teen b/c his "clients" complained about the dead look in his eyes/the way he would of course try to imagine he was anywhere else.
also, for someone as smart as jude was supposed to be, i still have trouble with him refusing therapy into so late in his life.
i just don't understand why anyone would want to spend so much time writing such a long book about the worst parts of humanity!
it was interesting to me when he and willem got together. they had obvs been besties and were v close, and willem found himself attracted to jude all of a sudden (jude was supposedly gorg). so they got together, but after maybe a year or so jude came clean about his past and how that fucked him up aka he never got erections and was never interested in sex, so he and willem stopped having sex. it was agreed that willem could go elsewhere, and there relationship from that point on was one of the more interesting parts of the book. willem seemed to like that they didn't follow any convention, they created a new type of relationship in that it was intimate and more than just friends, but really not sexual. they would kiss v occasionally, but it was obvs not a physical thing.
the other good thing is that this book seriously made me appreciate my life for a billion reasons. so there's that.
challenging
dark
emotional
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Complicated
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child abuse, Mental illness, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual violence, Suicide, Trafficking
Moderate: Chronic illness
Minor: Drug abuse, Car accident
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
“All the most terrifying Ifs involve people. All the good ones do as well.”
The first time I read this book was around five years ago. And up until today I often thought about Jude.
This is a book that will stay with you for many years and sometimes, just like this year, you want to visit the characters again.
..although you have to be mentally prepared…like really prepared
The first time I read this book was around five years ago. And up until today I often thought about Jude.
This is a book that will stay with you for many years and sometimes, just like this year, you want to visit the characters again.
..although you have to be mentally prepared…like really prepared
The prose is SO beautiful but I think this was a bit of an emotional letdown.
Maybe I wasn't able to get the full Experience because Jude never fully resonated with me. None of the characters did, other than Harold. The depiction of Jude's trauma and self-injury toed the line of voyeurism for me -- his experiences presented as an over-engineering of Trauma for the Plot. Despite that, I did like the commentary on grief, mental health, and suicide, and I thought the interactions between Jude and his friends/family were well-executed and really did convey the anguish of navigating life with cognitive distortions and the anguish of loving someone with them. But something else in Jude's character just didn't feel REAL enough to me. Even Willem, who was arguably the most fleshed out character other than Jude, didn't really deliver as much as I'd hoped. He struck me as more of a milestone for Jude rather than his own character. No tear shed from me unfortunately :(
Maybe I wasn't able to get the full Experience because Jude never fully resonated with me. None of the characters did, other than Harold. The depiction of Jude's trauma and self-injury toed the line of voyeurism for me -- his experiences presented as an over-engineering of Trauma for the Plot. Despite that, I did like the commentary on grief, mental health, and suicide, and I thought the interactions between Jude and his friends/family were well-executed and really did convey the anguish of navigating life with cognitive distortions and the anguish of loving someone with them. But something else in Jude's character just didn't feel REAL enough to me. Even Willem, who was arguably the most fleshed out character other than Jude, didn't really deliver as much as I'd hoped. He struck me as more of a milestone for Jude rather than his own character. No tear shed from me unfortunately :(
dark
reflective
sad
slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
challenging
dark
emotional
sad
tense
slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Complicated
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
I didn't feel connected to the characters, though Jude was the most interesting. It's not a bad book at all I just needed to put it down.
I don’t have the emotional capacity to write a review right now but holy sh!t
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
sad
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Complicated
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes