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Reviews tagging 'Suicidal thoughts'
The Many Half-Lived Lives of Sam Sylvester by Maya MacGregor
16 reviews
emmiej's review
challenging
emotional
informative
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
3.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Biphobia, Body shaming, Bullying, Cancer, Child death, Gaslighting, Grief, Homophobia, Murder, Outing, Panic attacks/disorders, Self harm, Stalking, Suicidal thoughts, and Transphobia
melsage1823's review
adventurous
dark
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
5.0
Disclaimer: This is an own voices review as I am like Sam, Nonbinary, Autistic and Asexual, however please do not just read my review when considering if this book is for you.
An absolutely amazing book with super positive representation, themes of found family, healing and a twisty murder mystery that lingers on every character throughout the book. This book was written with such beautiful care and you can tell that Maya definitely wanted to make a book their teenage self needed.
I had no dislikes I thought everything was handled beautifully. Would have loved to explore more of Sky and his subplot but I feel like that would have dragged from the main plot.
I'm just absolutely amazed. First of all the representation was just perfect and healed the wound in my heart I've had from being misunderstood by people. There are still people that our out to harm Sam but everyone mostly treats Sam like a human being. The stimming and meltdowns were written so well and very delicately but I wouldn't expect anything less from an Autistic Author. Sure Sam had a passionate special interest that would be a bit odd to neurotypicals but they were treated like The Good Doctor or Sheldon Cooper. It's so refreshing to have this representation in literature. I really hope this book inspires Autistic people to write their own stories so we have more fabulous stories like this. The queer representation is perfect too and I felt like I could relate to characters like Sam, Sky and Shep so so much.
Be warned that if you are experiencing a casual murder mystery, don't. The main focus is of Sam healing from their truama, finding a found family of queer friends and overcoming their fear of not living to nineteen. The found family development made me cry especially Sam's relationship with Shep who's an absolute angel. It's nice to see a healthy Autistic/Allistic couple represented in literature. As you follow Sam through their move to Astoria it's clear how even through the bad times Sam's new family are there to help them. Its beautiful and I think reading the book for Sam's amazing and healthy new friendships is worth it alone. Especially when we learn why they had to move.
The slow paced build up to the mystery of who killed Billy was well developed as I had no idea who could have done it till the very end of the book. There were lots of twists and turns that left me in huge suspense. The plot overall balances well with fluff and Sam dealing with their move as well as Billy's case. I don't think it was rushed or dragged out, it was just the right length. I also think the twist didn't seem far fetched as it foreshadowed how bad Carl was.
MacGregor writes amazing characters and it absolutely shows here. Each character introduced were compelling and unique in their own way. For me though the standouts had to be Sam themself, Shep, Sky and Junius. Every character managed to make you feel a curve ball of emotions even if it came from Sam's pov. I already mentioned but I want to say we stan a healthy relationship between a neurotypical parent and an Autistic child. Junius was such a kind character that I wish he was real. The book really makes you care for him and Sam's relationship. Junius is a prime example of how all parents of Autistic children should be and was a great role model. I also loved that he was Aro-Ace as it positively showed that singal parenting can work. There's some great touching moments between Sam and Junius that I don't want to spoil. Seriously all the dynamics Sam had with every character was written beautifully and with alot of intrigue.
Finally, I'd say I loved the fact that this book wasn't about Sam having to dramatically forgive the person that hurt them and forced them to move. It lets Sam take control of their own story and doesn't centre anybody that hurt them. I asked Maya about this at a book talk and they said they didn't want any of Sam's bullies to have a platform which clearly showed as none of their major bullies from Montana get proper names and characters like Blaise don't get forgiveness. It's great as it shows that you aren't owed forgiveness if you hurt someone.
Overall, this book hit hard, super hard. It's a book I wish little Mel had gotten the chance to read. It's so empowering, I'd recommend to it anyone but if your identify under the Trans umbrella and are Autistic you definitely need to pick this up its life changing.
An absolutely amazing book with super positive representation, themes of found family, healing and a twisty murder mystery that lingers on every character throughout the book. This book was written with such beautiful care and you can tell that Maya definitely wanted to make a book their teenage self needed.
I had no dislikes I thought everything was handled beautifully. Would have loved to explore more of Sky and his subplot but I feel like that would have dragged from the main plot.
I'm just absolutely amazed. First of all the representation was just perfect and healed the wound in my heart I've had from being misunderstood by people. There are still people that our out to harm Sam but everyone mostly treats Sam like a human being. The stimming and meltdowns were written so well and very delicately but I wouldn't expect anything less from an Autistic Author. Sure Sam had a passionate special interest that would be a bit odd to neurotypicals but they were treated like The Good Doctor or Sheldon Cooper. It's so refreshing to have this representation in literature. I really hope this book inspires Autistic people to write their own stories so we have more fabulous stories like this. The queer representation is perfect too and I felt like I could relate to characters like Sam, Sky and Shep so so much.
Be warned that if you are experiencing a casual murder mystery, don't. The main focus is of Sam healing from their truama, finding a found family of queer friends and overcoming their fear of not living to nineteen. The found family development made me cry especially Sam's relationship with Shep who's an absolute angel. It's nice to see a healthy Autistic/Allistic couple represented in literature. As you follow Sam through their move to Astoria it's clear how even through the bad times Sam's new family are there to help them. Its beautiful and I think reading the book for Sam's amazing and healthy new friendships is worth it alone. Especially when we learn why they had to move.
The slow paced build up to the mystery of who killed Billy was well developed as I had no idea who could have done it till the very end of the book. There were lots of twists and turns that left me in huge suspense. The plot overall balances well with fluff and Sam dealing with their move as well as Billy's case. I don't think it was rushed or dragged out, it was just the right length. I also think the twist didn't seem far fetched as it foreshadowed how bad
MacGregor writes amazing characters and it absolutely shows here. Each character introduced were compelling and unique in their own way. For me though the standouts had to be Sam themself, Shep, Sky and Junius. Every character managed to make you feel a curve ball of emotions even if it came from Sam's pov. I already mentioned but I want to say we stan a healthy relationship between a neurotypical parent and an Autistic child. Junius was such a kind character that I wish he was real. The book really makes you care for him and Sam's relationship. Junius is a prime example of how all parents of Autistic children should be and was a great role model. I also loved that he was Aro-Ace as it positively showed that singal parenting can work. There's some great touching moments between Sam and Junius that I don't want to spoil. Seriously all the dynamics Sam had with every character was written beautifully and with alot of intrigue.
Finally, I'd say I loved the fact that this book wasn't about Sam having to dramatically forgive the person that hurt them and forced them to move. It lets Sam take control of their own story and doesn't centre anybody that hurt them. I asked Maya about this at a book talk and they said they didn't want any of Sam's bullies to have a platform which clearly showed as none of their major bullies from Montana get proper names and characters like Blaise don't get forgiveness. It's great as it shows that you aren't owed forgiveness if you hurt someone.
Overall, this book hit hard, super hard. It's a book I wish little Mel had gotten the chance to read. It's so empowering, I'd recommend to it anyone but if your identify under the Trans umbrella and are Autistic you definitely need to pick this up its life changing.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Domestic abuse, Transphobia, Homophobia, Hate crime, and Toxic relationship
Moderate: Toxic relationship, Medical trauma, Medical content, Murder, Torture, Suicidal thoughts, Panic attacks/disorders, and Stalking
Minor: Alcoholism, Biphobia, Alcohol, and Kidnapping
Sam eventually tells Shep what happened to them in Montana and the hate crime is quite a graphic and serious one do be warned. Billy's murder attempts to murder several people throughout the book including Sam and its quite graphic too. Do be warneddododenise's review against another edition
emotional
mysterious
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.0
I took a chance at reading a mystery, knowing that in the past those plots don’t work for me. Sadly, this one also didn’t.
Seeing a nonbinary autistic mc is what made me pick up this book in the first place. I loved Sam and the other characters. They were wonderful and pulled me through this book.
Seeing a nonbinary autistic mc is what made me pick up this book in the first place. I loved Sam and the other characters. They were wonderful and pulled me through this book.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Homophobia, Transphobia, Mental illness, Biphobia, and Violence
Moderate: Alcoholism, Bullying, Blood, Suicidal thoughts, Mental illness, Toxic relationship, Confinement, Ableism, Outing, and Grief
Minor: Car accident and Cancer
lprongs's review
emotional
hopeful
mysterious
reflective
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
5.0
Honestly, I did not have high expectations when I picked this up for my book club, but it blew me away. It has amazing rep (autism, enby, lots of queer side characters including bi, lesbian, Black male aroace(!), adoption, etc.), manages to be extremely informative without being preachy or info-dumpy, and does a heckin' good job of normalizing a ton of stuff that should be normal.
The plot itself is gripping and so very queer, and by about two-thirds of the way through, I couldn't put it down. But I think what really gets me is how this book perfectly encapsulates the adage that trans people just want the chance to grow up - that trans kids deserve to live to an old age just like anyone else, just like they deserve a happy-but-awkward high school experience just like everyone else. There are so few trans elders in the world today because of too many early unnatural deaths, and Sam becomes obsessed with the idea that they'll die before their 19th birthday just like all the kids throughout history that they've researched. Even though these kids aren't necesserily trans or even queer, I see that parallel very strongly. So yeah, the ending made me cry.
The plot itself is gripping and so very queer, and by about two-thirds of the way through, I couldn't put it down. But I think what really gets me is how this book perfectly encapsulates the adage that trans people just want the chance to grow up - that trans kids deserve to live to an old age just like anyone else, just like they deserve a happy-but-awkward high school experience just like everyone else. There are so few trans elders in the world today because of too many early unnatural deaths, and Sam becomes obsessed with the idea that they'll die before their 19th birthday just like all the kids throughout history that they've researched. Even though these kids aren't necesserily trans or even queer, I see that parallel very strongly. So yeah, the ending made me cry.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Hate crime
Minor: Biphobia and Suicidal thoughts
Other content warnings includephoxyphoenix's review against another edition
challenging
dark
hopeful
mysterious
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Alcoholism, Alcohol, Toxic friendship, Panic attacks/disorders, Deadnaming, Transphobia, Hate crime, Biphobia, Injury/Injury detail, Violence, Suicidal thoughts, and Mental illness
evilyn's review
emotional
funny
hopeful
inspiring
mysterious
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Transphobia, Suicidal thoughts, Homophobia, Hate crime, Murder, Child abuse, and Death
mxbluet18's review
adventurous
dark
emotional
mysterious
reflective
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
5.0
"When you're haunted by past lives, how can you live your own?"
☆
I'm doing something I almost never do when I'm reading something, making notes as I'm reading it. But something that I'm really enjoying about this book is how I can predict the literal responses Sam gives to things sometimes. (Possibly because it mirrors my own often sarcastic literal responses).
~
(As of writing I'm only 19 pages into this book, but already I'm loving it.) Having authentic autistic characters in books gives me some representation I didn't even know I was craving. Especially when it comes from an author who is a part of that community and implicitly understands some of experiences we have. While simultaneously also making it plain that every autistic person, and every non binary person, or person with a queer identity can have very different experiences and I'd different from other people with the same identity as them.
~
"You know, like that show with the autistic kid who knows every single Pokémon. That’s not always what it looks like, obviously. We’re not all the same."
~
This may easily just be me projecting, but between Sam and the people they meet, Shep, Sky and Aiden, they really feel like people in my own life. People who immediately grasped my name and pronouns and just made me feel comfortable as I am. None of them treated Sam any different for their gender identity, nor their autism and the traits they displayed. They simply tried to understand and help when they could.
~
I like that it doesn't fall back on the stereotypical representation of autistic people, and actively avoids them. I also like the inclusion of Sam's father bring probably aroace, though feel the romance subplot between Sam and Shep unnecessary (but I feel many ya books having romance subplots unnecessary anyway)
~
Ultimately, this is one of the best books I've read in a very long time. It's definitely a 5⭐ read and it deserves all the good reviews and praise it gets.
☆
I'm doing something I almost never do when I'm reading something, making notes as I'm reading it. But something that I'm really enjoying about this book is how I can predict the literal responses Sam gives to things sometimes. (Possibly because it mirrors my own often sarcastic literal responses).
~
(As of writing I'm only 19 pages into this book, but already I'm loving it.) Having authentic autistic characters in books gives me some representation I didn't even know I was craving. Especially when it comes from an author who is a part of that community and implicitly understands some of experiences we have. While simultaneously also making it plain that every autistic person, and every non binary person, or person with a queer identity can have very different experiences and I'd different from other people with the same identity as them.
~
"You know, like that show with the autistic kid who knows every single Pokémon. That’s not always what it looks like, obviously. We’re not all the same."
~
This may easily just be me projecting, but between Sam and the people they meet, Shep, Sky and Aiden, they really feel like people in my own life. People who immediately grasped my name and pronouns and just made me feel comfortable as I am. None of them treated Sam any different for their gender identity, nor their autism and the traits they displayed. They simply tried to understand and help when they could.
~
I like that it doesn't fall back on the stereotypical representation of autistic people, and actively avoids them. I also like the inclusion of Sam's father bring probably aroace, though feel the romance subplot between Sam and Shep unnecessary (but I feel many ya books having romance subplots unnecessary anyway)
~
Ultimately, this is one of the best books I've read in a very long time. It's definitely a 5⭐ read and it deserves all the good reviews and praise it gets.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Murder
Moderate: Transphobia, Suicidal thoughts, Dysphoria, Deadnaming, and Panic attacks/disorders
Minor: Alcohol and Gun violence
ladysmartypants's review against another edition
dark
emotional
mysterious
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
4.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Hate crime, Injury/Injury detail, Alcohol, Bullying, Death, Murder, and Suicidal thoughts
Moderate: Bullying
platoniciris's review
challenging
dark
emotional
mysterious
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
5.0
This book, wow. This book was something else entirely from anything I was expecting. I loved every page of it. It was intimidating as it’s outside my usual genres but I would read this again.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Hate crime, Murder, Transphobia, and Homophobia
Moderate: Injury/Injury detail, Biphobia, Suicidal thoughts, and Death
Minor: Self harm, Cancer, and Domestic abuse
ankonyx's review
dark
emotional
mysterious
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
3.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Transphobia, Hate crime, Biphobia, Self harm, and Homophobia
Moderate: Panic attacks/disorders and Toxic relationship
Minor: Child death and Suicidal thoughts