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189 reviews for:
Becoming Sister Wives: The Story of an Unconventional Marriage
Meri Brown, Kody Brown, Janelle Brown
2.98 AVERAGE
189 reviews for:
Becoming Sister Wives: The Story of an Unconventional Marriage
Meri Brown, Kody Brown, Janelle Brown
2.98 AVERAGE
If this was a work of fiction, this would be the saddest story ever written. Knowing what we know about the Brown's 9 years later, every hope and dream was unrealized and they now hate each other. Kind of a bummer.
Great insight into how plural marriage works, and how hard it can be.
After reading this book, I can't understand why these bitchy, catty women don't get divorces and move on with their lives. The jealousy, the snarling, and the generally nasty tones between the wives leaves me wondering why anyone would choose this life unless they have low self-esteem and are willing to settle for the dregs in a relationship. I don't care if someone wants to live this lifestyle, but anyone in a relationship this unhappy should cut their losses and move on.
I'm not sure why this fascinates me. I guess it's the psychology of it all.
This is another book I read months ago but had to spend some time thinking about it before I had to read it.
This is the story that goes along with the TV show, Sister Wives. I admit, I'm a fan of the show. Do I believe it's all true? No, no reality show is gonna be that - the editors are going to pick and choose what scenes to show to share the story they want to tell. It's still fascinating to me all the same, all the more so as the kids are getting older and going off to college.
The book is told by Kody Brown and his wives. A lot of the information is the same as the show, but there's some new information presented here as well - especially the early years, when Kody Brown had just one or two wives. Meri was truly horrible to her sister wife back then, and it's really unclear how she feels about it now. The wives all struggle with jealousy, which is understandable, and you do see some small insights into that in this book as well - how they handle it.
Whether or not you agree with their lifestyle and choices, it's still an interesting read and if you enjoy watching the show, you'll most likely enjoy the book as well. I watch the show - and read books like this - because I enjoy learning about other lifestyles and cultures, and because more often then not, the truth is stranger than fiction.
If you are looking for more information about their faith, and what they believe - that's not covered in this book, as it's a 'personal' thing. This book is about their lives and relationships, not their faith.
This is the story that goes along with the TV show, Sister Wives. I admit, I'm a fan of the show. Do I believe it's all true? No, no reality show is gonna be that - the editors are going to pick and choose what scenes to show to share the story they want to tell. It's still fascinating to me all the same, all the more so as the kids are getting older and going off to college.
The book is told by Kody Brown and his wives. A lot of the information is the same as the show, but there's some new information presented here as well - especially the early years, when Kody Brown had just one or two wives. Meri was truly horrible to her sister wife back then, and it's really unclear how she feels about it now. The wives all struggle with jealousy, which is understandable, and you do see some small insights into that in this book as well - how they handle it.
Whether or not you agree with their lifestyle and choices, it's still an interesting read and if you enjoy watching the show, you'll most likely enjoy the book as well. I watch the show - and read books like this - because I enjoy learning about other lifestyles and cultures, and because more often then not, the truth is stranger than fiction.
If you are looking for more information about their faith, and what they believe - that's not covered in this book, as it's a 'personal' thing. This book is about their lives and relationships, not their faith.
You all know about my fascination with polygamy. I love their show, and I loved their book. I was very surprised by how well it was written, and I was moved by each spouse's honesty about each of the relationships within their marriage. I would still like for the Browns to discuss specifically why they have chosen to live a polygamous lifestyle; they always say it is a religious belief of theirs, but never ground it in scripture. I think it would be interesting to know why they still believe polygamy to be the right way to live, instead of renouncing it as the LDS church has. Still, I very much enjoyed this book and am impressed with the stance the Browns have taken, in order to differentiate themselves from Warren Jeffs and others like him.
i adore this family. came across this book while waiting for the latest season to hit netflix. It was great learning all the backstory between the many different relationships that you don't see on the show. it was also nice seeing that they don't have all the answers, or always get along. they are a normal family, with normal marriages: they struggle with the same things the rest of us do, yet their faith keeps them going.
definitely enjoyed reading it and getting to know the family better.
definitely enjoyed reading it and getting to know the family better.
As you may know, if you've been reading my reviews for a while, I am a voyeur. Ok, really it's my anthropologist heart. I stumbled across this book at the library and how could I not pick it up? If you've seen the show Sister Wives at all, then you've probably heard of this family. I'm not an avid follower of the show but I did watch the first two seasons on Amazon Prime so I know about them a bit.
Anyway, they wrote this book together to talk about life in polygamy. It was a quick, somewhat interesting read. They give an over view of the marriages, raising kids, life as part of a polygamist unit and so on. There were times that I felt they glossed over some of the issues. Some of the wives mentioned having issues with other wives, or within the family but these issues were quickly glossed over with something like "Well, we've been working on our relationship" or something like that. I can understand wanting to focus on the positives of polygamy since it gets so much negative press but for me I want to know more. What kind of issues? Janelle mentions how hard it was for her to come in as the second wife and some of the related issues but I feel like how the issues were worked out wasn't discussed much.
So other than feeling like certain things were glossed over, which was my main negative for this book, I thought the rest of it was pretty interesting. I do feel bad for Janelle though because I think out of all the wives, she got kind of shafted. But anyway, if you're interested in knowing how a polygamous family functions in society this is a good read.
Anyway, they wrote this book together to talk about life in polygamy. It was a quick, somewhat interesting read. They give an over view of the marriages, raising kids, life as part of a polygamist unit and so on. There were times that I felt they glossed over some of the issues. Some of the wives mentioned having issues with other wives, or within the family but these issues were quickly glossed over with something like "Well, we've been working on our relationship" or something like that. I can understand wanting to focus on the positives of polygamy since it gets so much negative press but for me I want to know more. What kind of issues? Janelle mentions how hard it was for her to come in as the second wife and some of the related issues but I feel like how the issues were worked out wasn't discussed much.
So other than feeling like certain things were glossed over, which was my main negative for this book, I thought the rest of it was pretty interesting. I do feel bad for Janelle though because I think out of all the wives, she got kind of shafted. But anyway, if you're interested in knowing how a polygamous family functions in society this is a good read.
Although the book can be a little repetitive, the authors are very open and honest about their life and their family. I do think this is a family who is changing the way the world views polygamy.
So I read this overnight while awake with a head cold, and looking for something diverting and light. It certainly is that. (I think I spent longer writing this review).
It was hard to know how to rate this book. The Browns are engaged on a crusade to rescue the reputation of polygamy from that of abuse, incest and discrimination and the book is part of that attempt at image repair. That doesn't mean it is dishonest exactly, but it would be naive to think material that would buy into those images isn't skimmed over. And at the end of the day, you can't achieve real understanding without accepting the possibility of criticism.
In fact, for what it is, the book is more honest than I expected. It's unlikely anyone would come out of reading this thinking that living a fundamentalist Mormon life is easy, or attractive. It tells like a long history of interpersonal struggles and bitter conflicts, one entirely skimmed over on the TV show. Fundamentalist Mormons view polygamy a little like Jane Fonda viewed exercise - something that's good for you because it's painful, difficult and uncomfortable. Because we struggle so hard with misery, they repeat ad infinitum, we become more understanding of other people's misery!More Christlike!. That's what really lies behind "It makes all of us better."
But while the interpersonal relations between the women, and some of the practicalities are laid bare, the book remains disingenuous when it comes to much of the how and the why. In the early part, Kody explains that he is the decision maker, the family patriarch, but is quick to minimise this as being because he is "the common denominator" between all three women. No mention of the role of a (male) priesthood holder in Mormonism, no discussion of divinely ordained gender roles, both of which are core to the beliefs of the church the Browns belong to. It's a bit like explaining communion as something Catholics do because "it tastes good".
It is simply impossible, and duplicitous, to accurately represent fundamentalist Morman views on polygamy without explaining the strong belief in separate gender roles, and a church where men have by birthright divine (and familial) authority that women lack. This is a religion which views salvation as a family affair, and one within which every family member has a very different role.
There are other nasties in the Brown's religion they skim over - no mention of the belief that Black men cannot achieve the religious authority that White patriarchs achieve; and the Browns repeated reference to being tolerant of people with different sexualities obscures their church's position that gay sex is sin, and its opposition to gay marriage.
It is always possible that the Browns, who decline to the name their particular church (it's the Apostolic United Brethren) do not agree with all its teachings. At one point, one of the women mentions that they are viewed as extremely liberal and easygoing within their own community. But if so, they should stop portraying themselves as the average, normal Mormon fundamentalist polygamists. It is more likely, I suspect, that they are following the guidelines Christine reports being taught as ways to handle the media - if asked about your faith, talk in generalities, and bring it back to your family.
Which the book certainly does. The intense love these people feel for their children, their strong belief that their children's lives are enriched by having half-siblings and other adult women around really shines (in fact, the sense that the wives view their own frustrations with this lifestyle as a sacrifice they make for their kids rears it head a few times). It's also clear that for most of the women, Kody represents a much more hands-on father than they've ever known. The intense patriachy they come from was reflected for me in this - Robyn describes with wonder watching Kody clean up a mess on one of his daughter's feet before bedtime, as if she had quite literally never seen a father take responsibility for such a day-to-day task before. Another wife exclaims with pleased shock that Kody actually spent time with other people's children sometimes! It's not worth getting too carried away - there's certainly no suggestion of Kody cooking, cleaning, or taking any domestic responsibility in the book. The women look after the home, and Kody is valued simply for turning up, and given bonus points for emoting. Even on child rearing, the women speak of developing their own discipline methods on their own kids, without reference to Kody. (And if you've watched the show, you'd know that these kids have serious charisma on TV, coming across as smart, smart-arse and appropriately rebellious).
I certainly believe in the possibility of a non-abusive polygamy. And I support absolutely the decriminalisation of polygamy, and letting consenting adults decide on their own marital arrangements. And in a world where most fundamentalist Mormons belong to abusive sects, the AUB's stance on underage marriage (turn 18 before the ceremony please!); education (college is ok, even if they mostly home or church school), and arranged marriage (church leaders still have to approve a marriage, but won't initiate one) is kinda welcome as an alternative. But to show the lives of those living within this faith without showing the basic, and often unpalatable, gender beliefs they rest on makes it just another piece of spin, and not the serious contribution to understanding that it could have been.
It was hard to know how to rate this book. The Browns are engaged on a crusade to rescue the reputation of polygamy from that of abuse, incest and discrimination and the book is part of that attempt at image repair. That doesn't mean it is dishonest exactly, but it would be naive to think material that would buy into those images isn't skimmed over. And at the end of the day, you can't achieve real understanding without accepting the possibility of criticism.
In fact, for what it is, the book is more honest than I expected. It's unlikely anyone would come out of reading this thinking that living a fundamentalist Mormon life is easy, or attractive. It tells like a long history of interpersonal struggles and bitter conflicts, one entirely skimmed over on the TV show. Fundamentalist Mormons view polygamy a little like Jane Fonda viewed exercise - something that's good for you because it's painful, difficult and uncomfortable. Because we struggle so hard with misery, they repeat ad infinitum, we become more understanding of other people's misery!More Christlike!. That's what really lies behind "It makes all of us better."
But while the interpersonal relations between the women, and some of the practicalities are laid bare, the book remains disingenuous when it comes to much of the how and the why. In the early part, Kody explains that he is the decision maker, the family patriarch, but is quick to minimise this as being because he is "the common denominator" between all three women. No mention of the role of a (male) priesthood holder in Mormonism, no discussion of divinely ordained gender roles, both of which are core to the beliefs of the church the Browns belong to. It's a bit like explaining communion as something Catholics do because "it tastes good".
It is simply impossible, and duplicitous, to accurately represent fundamentalist Morman views on polygamy without explaining the strong belief in separate gender roles, and a church where men have by birthright divine (and familial) authority that women lack. This is a religion which views salvation as a family affair, and one within which every family member has a very different role.
There are other nasties in the Brown's religion they skim over - no mention of the belief that Black men cannot achieve the religious authority that White patriarchs achieve; and the Browns repeated reference to being tolerant of people with different sexualities obscures their church's position that gay sex is sin, and its opposition to gay marriage.
It is always possible that the Browns, who decline to the name their particular church (it's the Apostolic United Brethren) do not agree with all its teachings. At one point, one of the women mentions that they are viewed as extremely liberal and easygoing within their own community. But if so, they should stop portraying themselves as the average, normal Mormon fundamentalist polygamists. It is more likely, I suspect, that they are following the guidelines Christine reports being taught as ways to handle the media - if asked about your faith, talk in generalities, and bring it back to your family.
Which the book certainly does. The intense love these people feel for their children, their strong belief that their children's lives are enriched by having half-siblings and other adult women around really shines (in fact, the sense that the wives view their own frustrations with this lifestyle as a sacrifice they make for their kids rears it head a few times). It's also clear that for most of the women, Kody represents a much more hands-on father than they've ever known. The intense patriachy they come from was reflected for me in this - Robyn describes with wonder watching Kody clean up a mess on one of his daughter's feet before bedtime, as if she had quite literally never seen a father take responsibility for such a day-to-day task before. Another wife exclaims with pleased shock that Kody actually spent time with other people's children sometimes! It's not worth getting too carried away - there's certainly no suggestion of Kody cooking, cleaning, or taking any domestic responsibility in the book. The women look after the home, and Kody is valued simply for turning up, and given bonus points for emoting. Even on child rearing, the women speak of developing their own discipline methods on their own kids, without reference to Kody. (And if you've watched the show, you'd know that these kids have serious charisma on TV, coming across as smart, smart-arse and appropriately rebellious).
I certainly believe in the possibility of a non-abusive polygamy. And I support absolutely the decriminalisation of polygamy, and letting consenting adults decide on their own marital arrangements. And in a world where most fundamentalist Mormons belong to abusive sects, the AUB's stance on underage marriage (turn 18 before the ceremony please!); education (college is ok, even if they mostly home or church school), and arranged marriage (church leaders still have to approve a marriage, but won't initiate one) is kinda welcome as an alternative. But to show the lives of those living within this faith without showing the basic, and often unpalatable, gender beliefs they rest on makes it just another piece of spin, and not the serious contribution to understanding that it could have been.