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saff_reads's review
3.0
3.5 rounded down. The author is upfront about how this is only a snapshot of her experience in London largely post-2010, but it was really striking to me how little of it I recognised. I'm less than 10 years older than the author and also came up and out on the queer women's scene in London and it's clear from this that those 10 years made a big difference in experience. The Candy Bar gets one passing reference, and nothing about some of the other amazing women centred venues and evenings (Southopia, Glass Bar, Gingerbeer) and mixed venues (Popstarz, G-A-Y @ the Astoria, First Out café) of that era that have long since been lost to redevelopment and increased lease prices. The dating section has no mention of sites like Gaydar Girls. TV/film almost criminally doesn't mention Xena (though my strong feelings on this is perhaps because my introduction to the Queer scene in London was done by Gen X friends). Also, bizarrely makes reference to David Bowie being 'straight'.
Overall, I think I would have rated the book higher if it were positioned more as a memoir than a sweeping guide to bi and lesbian culture, which actually only focuses on the experience of younger millennials and Gen Z.
Overall, I think I would have rated the book higher if it were positioned more as a memoir than a sweeping guide to bi and lesbian culture, which actually only focuses on the experience of younger millennials and Gen Z.
emilyinparis's review
emotional
funny
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
4.5
‘How their queerness was a gift, then a curse, then a gift again. Each and every story diverges and overlaps somehow, including my own; some of them contradict each other. This is my attempt to see the whole thing together’
‘Words are just placeholders for complex human experiences after all. And words evolve, bend into new shapes, adapt’
‘Words cannot account for our subjective, differing realities. Life can also be in feeling, in colour, in the moments between waking up and realising you’re awake’
‘most of life is so much stronger than language is able to make room for’
‘queerness requires a process of re-evaluating and undoing everything from the ground up. Who are you and what is it you really want? Is it this, or something else? Listen to your bones’
‘They do that with all marginalised communities; they absorb them into the mainstream and then figure out a way to sell it and deradicalise it’
‘just because queerness is having a public moment, doesn’t mean that all queer people from all backgrounds are benefitting’
‘studies have consistently shown that greater queer media representation inspires queer viewers to feel more comfortable in their identities, and therefore more able to come out to themselves and others’
‘There’s a purity to the way in which queerness becomes a conversation with yourself about truth and authenticity and desire, a slow and unconscious one, that trickles under the surface of your skin’
‘One of my favourite theories about queer women’s style is that it’s not just preoccupied with the body, but with what the body can do. This is where the female gaze comes into play, and where more ‘practical’ or ‘functional’ clothing items can be seen as being intimately bound up with queer desire’
‘gender norms aren’t just uncomfortable. They also actively promote violence and are constantly compounded by racism’
‘The queer gaze is about power and desire and movement, rather than what anyone looks like through the eyes of straight men’
‘how lesbian and bisexual people are presented in pop culture… this othering sinks into the psyche of queer people, and it sinks into the psyche of others, feeding into how we’re treated on macro and micro levels’
‘Queer culture must be water, or else we are at risk of mimicking the heteronormative system that attempts to subjugate us based on arbitrary, abstract notions about how a person ought to be’
‘I am excited to see how queer culture unfurls in front of us at the hands of young people, how the world might continue to open up, again and again; a sunflower lifting itself higher over a fence’
alexutzu's review against another edition
I kept picking up this book, but could not stick with reading it through. I felt that it tries to be diverse, but it still ends up as rather stereotypical, and that it referenced things that were relatable only for certain groups of queer people (specifically in terms of generation and location).
I also wasn't sure of the purpose of this book, it felt like a mix between a memoir and compiling some data from other sources. Even after checking the latter chapters, I could not really get the idea and it did not catch my interest, so I had to DNF it.
I also wasn't sure of the purpose of this book, it felt like a mix between a memoir and compiling some data from other sources. Even after checking the latter chapters, I could not really get the idea and it did not catch my interest, so I had to DNF it.
dearbluebird's review against another edition
funny
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
4.0