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rainbowbookworm's review against another edition
5.0
I enjoyed this lesbian romance. The characters are more mature than I am used to reading about, but I absolutely loved it. Super cute.
sindri_inn_arsaeli's review against another edition
3.0
Solid "meh". I specifically picked this up because of Beowulf in the title, and there was precious little about him. The poem got a few nice mentions, and the dog's name is Grendel. Anyone else excited about Beowulf, that's all we get. No further subtle links to the epic tale. You want a good one, read Grendel's Guide to Love and War by Kaplan. That was fantastic.
As far as Beowulf for Cretins, the characters felt like archetypes instead of real people. Everyone fit nearly in some tight little category. The smart characters were eternally verbose and witty, even when they were "distracted". Banter is fine, but no one is thinking of rare four syllable words when they want immediate sex. Oh, and the sex.... clearly "amazing", but good luck figuring out why. It's one thing to be fade to black, it's another to not even describe the foreplay behond "she was going to collapse if her lover 'kept this up' ". Even beyond the sex scenes, there was a LOT of telling the reader what was happening, and not a lot of showing. If a character is talking, tell us what they say, not how the rest of the room perceives their wit.
And the final nail, for me, was the apparent disdain for the students. The main cast are all college professors, and sure, college freshmen are finding their way in every way, including intellectually. But, damn, every actual teacher moment was marred with an internal groan from the professor about having to put up with her students, in her chosen profession. To me, a teacher that doesn't like students is a red flag for a Bad Teacher.
I got to the end, and I'm happy for Grace and Abbie and all, but honestly I only kept it up hoping for some extra Beowulf action. I won't seek out any more by this author.
As far as Beowulf for Cretins, the characters felt like archetypes instead of real people. Everyone fit nearly in some tight little category. The smart characters were eternally verbose and witty, even when they were "distracted". Banter is fine, but no one is thinking of rare four syllable words when they want immediate sex. Oh, and the sex.... clearly "amazing", but good luck figuring out why. It's one thing to be fade to black, it's another to not even describe the foreplay behond "she was going to collapse if her lover 'kept this up' ". Even beyond the sex scenes, there was a LOT of telling the reader what was happening, and not a lot of showing. If a character is talking, tell us what they say, not how the rest of the room perceives their wit.
And the final nail, for me, was the apparent disdain for the students. The main cast are all college professors, and sure, college freshmen are finding their way in every way, including intellectually. But, damn, every actual teacher moment was marred with an internal groan from the professor about having to put up with her students, in her chosen profession. To me, a teacher that doesn't like students is a red flag for a Bad Teacher.
I got to the end, and I'm happy for Grace and Abbie and all, but honestly I only kept it up hoping for some extra Beowulf action. I won't seek out any more by this author.
allonsyahhlee's review
emotional
hopeful
lighthearted
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.0
andipants's review against another edition
DNF at 216 pages. It started out with a promising premise, but it's gotten so boring, I'm pretty sure it's terminal.
The plot isn't a plot. They keep talking about how they shouldn't be seeing each other, seeing each other anyway, and not doing anything to try and reconcile that. They keep bringing up the fact that their relationship is totally unethical but then just keep going anyway, and despite paying lip service to discretion, are totally cavalier about the possibility that someone will find out, for all the world like it's not professional suicide. Two-thirds of the way through the story and neither of them has taken any steps or even given any concrete thought as to what, realistically, they're going to do about the situation. I get every impression that a magical solution is just going to fall into their laps, and I'm not reading a hundred more pages just for that bullshit.
The secondary characters are nothing but plot devices, lacking personality or motivation, existing solely to push the main characters from point A to point B. Lorrie in particular is ridiculous and pathetic; she's a caricature of a 12-year-old with a crush, not a grown adult with a life and a job. And I'm sorry, but you're going to have to try a lot damn harder if you want to make a Trump supporter into a lovable buffoon, which seems to be what the author is going for with Dean.
The constant witticisms and one-liners also got real old, real fast. The first couple conversations were cute and funny, but nobody talks like that all the time. It's like an Aaron Sorkin show without the substance.
But the worst sin here is that it's a romance and I don't buy the romance. The characters meet once and are suddenly so mad for each other that they're willing to risk both their careers over a one night stand and some clever remarks? It doesn't even have any smut to compensate; it's all fade-to-black, meaning we can only assume it's a physical thing, and we just have to take the narrator's word for how great the sex is. Blegh.
The plot isn't a plot. They keep talking about how they shouldn't be seeing each other, seeing each other anyway, and not doing anything to try and reconcile that. They keep bringing up the fact that their relationship is totally unethical but then just keep going anyway, and despite paying lip service to discretion, are totally cavalier about the possibility that someone will find out, for all the world like it's not professional suicide. Two-thirds of the way through the story and neither of them has taken any steps or even given any concrete thought as to what, realistically, they're going to do about the situation. I get every impression that a magical solution is just going to fall into their laps, and I'm not reading a hundred more pages just for that bullshit.
The secondary characters are nothing but plot devices, lacking personality or motivation, existing solely to push the main characters from point A to point B. Lorrie in particular is ridiculous and pathetic; she's a caricature of a 12-year-old with a crush, not a grown adult with a life and a job. And I'm sorry, but you're going to have to try a lot damn harder if you want to make a Trump supporter into a lovable buffoon, which seems to be what the author is going for with Dean.
The constant witticisms and one-liners also got real old, real fast. The first couple conversations were cute and funny, but nobody talks like that all the time. It's like an Aaron Sorkin show without the substance.
But the worst sin here is that it's a romance and I don't buy the romance. The characters meet once and are suddenly so mad for each other that they're willing to risk both their careers over a one night stand and some clever remarks? It doesn't even have any smut to compensate; it's all fade-to-black, meaning we can only assume it's a physical thing, and we just have to take the narrator's word for how great the sex is. Blegh.
elizatanner's review against another edition
5.0
Excellent book by Ann McMan. I loved the interplay between the characters. These two intellectuals at times lost in translation. The academic verbiage was a delight. The secondary characters made their mark - CK and Dean...who knew. Highly recommend.
babyvirgo's review against another edition
5.0
I've never wanted an aframe on the lake and to be a professor so fast
maximum83's review against another edition
1.0
Pretentious. Biphobic. Nice to see lesbian represention but not like this.
marginaliant's review against another edition
2.0
Today I learned that books that make constant references to "this only happens in books!" or "this is way too much of a coincidence!" apparently make me want to rip my hair out. It doesn't excuse the sloppy narrative structure or extremely convenient plot. We learn something new every day.
angieinbooks's review against another edition
5.0
RE-READ UPDATE: I finally got around to rereading this book and I'm still in love with it. But the romance timeline makes absolutely zero sense and that definitely bothers me, but Ann McMan makes it so I'm not all that hung up on it. It seemed a lot less realistic this read through, though. Also, the main characters in this are super pretentious, but I kind of love them for it. They feel very much in line with academics, at least according to my brief experience in academia, so it makes sense here. But the dialogue in this is wonderful and quite funny. Still 5 stars for me, but I'm admittedly side-eying the romance timeline.
ORIGINAL REVIEW:
Considering my current and fairly strict diet of ff romances, Beowulf for Cretins was shockingly off my radar. And I’ve visited all the recommendation lists like they’re their own page-turning novels because this is the diet I need right now and, let’s face it, the well of enjoyable and well-written novels in the genre aren’t in abundant supply. So I’m a little at a loss for why it was I accidentally stumbled upon this novel rather than what usually happens with me and books—is that I join the party way after it’s ended. Why aren’t more of you reading this book?
The narrative revolves around Grace Warner, a forty-something literature professor at a small New England liberal arts college. She’s trying to bounce back after a difficult long-past breakup and is on the verge of being granted tenure while also struggling to complete the novel she’s been writing for who-knows-how-many-years. But for one weekend she puts it all on hiatus to fly across the country to attend her friend’s birthday party in San Francisco.
On the flight she meets Abbie, who immediately grabs Grace’s attention because she’s beautiful, funny, mysterious, and is casually reading Boccaccio in Latin. They bond over their bad luck and a mutual flirtation that turns into the discovery of a mutual friend and eventually a one-night stand. And that’s it for them. No phone numbers or emails exchanged. Grace doesn’t even know Abbie’s last name. Grace returns to Vermont and Abbie goes back to North Carolina. End of story.
Only it’s not the end of the story. Unbeknownst to either of them, their paths cross when it’s revealed that Abbie is the newly appointed president of the college where Grace teaches. And despite the conflict of interest, they can’t help but continue to seek each other out. Obviously this causes a bit of uncertainty and angst.
Beowulf for Cretins is misclassified as romance. It defies some of the conventions of what I’ve grown to understand about the romance genre. Mainly it lacks those steamy sex scenes. They’re there. They’re certainly implied, but they always fade to black. I guess I would classify it as literary romance—shelved with fiction, not with romance.
Attraction-to-love between Grace and Abbie happens way too quickly, and while that usually turns me off in major ways, I was quickly falling in love with Abbie the same way Grace was. And conversely, I could see why a woman like Abbie would fall in love with Grace. So it didn’t actually bother me here. The more unforgivable trope was their lack of communication about major problems and decisions, but even that was explained away.
I’m pretty sure this will end up on my Read-More-Than-Once shelf really soon. Oh, and did I mention there’s a dog? One that Grace rescues? And names Grendel? I love this book.
ORIGINAL REVIEW:
Considering my current and fairly strict diet of ff romances, Beowulf for Cretins was shockingly off my radar. And I’ve visited all the recommendation lists like they’re their own page-turning novels because this is the diet I need right now and, let’s face it, the well of enjoyable and well-written novels in the genre aren’t in abundant supply. So I’m a little at a loss for why it was I accidentally stumbled upon this novel rather than what usually happens with me and books—is that I join the party way after it’s ended. Why aren’t more of you reading this book?
The narrative revolves around Grace Warner, a forty-something literature professor at a small New England liberal arts college. She’s trying to bounce back after a difficult long-past breakup and is on the verge of being granted tenure while also struggling to complete the novel she’s been writing for who-knows-how-many-years. But for one weekend she puts it all on hiatus to fly across the country to attend her friend’s birthday party in San Francisco.
On the flight she meets Abbie, who immediately grabs Grace’s attention because she’s beautiful, funny, mysterious, and is casually reading Boccaccio in Latin. They bond over their bad luck and a mutual flirtation that turns into the discovery of a mutual friend and eventually a one-night stand. And that’s it for them. No phone numbers or emails exchanged. Grace doesn’t even know Abbie’s last name. Grace returns to Vermont and Abbie goes back to North Carolina. End of story.
Only it’s not the end of the story. Unbeknownst to either of them, their paths cross when it’s revealed that Abbie is the newly appointed president of the college where Grace teaches. And despite the conflict of interest, they can’t help but continue to seek each other out. Obviously this causes a bit of uncertainty and angst.
Beowulf for Cretins is misclassified as romance. It defies some of the conventions of what I’ve grown to understand about the romance genre. Mainly it lacks those steamy sex scenes. They’re there. They’re certainly implied, but they always fade to black. I guess I would classify it as literary romance—shelved with fiction, not with romance.
Attraction-to-love between Grace and Abbie happens way too quickly, and while that usually turns me off in major ways, I was quickly falling in love with Abbie the same way Grace was. And conversely, I could see why a woman like Abbie would fall in love with Grace. So it didn’t actually bother me here. The more unforgivable trope was their lack of communication about major problems and decisions, but even that was explained away.
I’m pretty sure this will end up on my Read-More-Than-Once shelf really soon. Oh, and did I mention there’s a dog? One that Grace rescues? And names Grendel? I love this book.
00leah00's review against another edition
3.0
I wanted to love this book, I really did. But I didn’t. After all the glowing reviews I thought it’d be amazing and I was let down. It is funny, but that’s all about it has going for it.
The romance was a little too insta-love for me to really appreciate. The ending was also too perfect, it went a bit beyond my suspension of disbelief. If you’re a bit older and a bit smarter than me, you may enjoy this one.
The romance was a little too insta-love for me to really appreciate. The ending was also too perfect, it went a bit beyond my suspension of disbelief. If you’re a bit older and a bit smarter than me, you may enjoy this one.