Reviews tagging 'Death of parent'

Dog Flowers: A Memoir by Danielle Geller

19 reviews

lady_bountiful's review

dark emotional reflective sad

4.75

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Content Warnings

Moderate: Drug abuse, Alcoholism, Death of parent, Toxic relationship, Emotional abuse, Abandonment, Addiction, and Alcohol

siriface's review against another edition

adventurous dark emotional reflective sad tense medium-paced

3.5

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Death, Death of parent, Alcoholism, Drug abuse, and Grief

Moderate: Racism and Suicide attempt

hollyd19's review

challenging dark emotional reflective sad tense slow-paced

4.5

With sharp, honest writing Geller pieces together a mosaic of her life in the aftermath of her mother's death from alcohol withdrawal. Using her training as an archivist, Geller takes the fragmented records found in an old suitcase kept by her mother's on-again, off-again lover to formulate an account of her mom's history and revise her own memories of her youth.

Raised by alcoholic, often abusive parents and bounced between caregivers, Geller's youth was ragged and disjointed. Abandoned early on by her enigmatic mother, Geller was raised largely by her paternal grandmother -- possibly the only sober adult in her life until college. Knowing anecdotally about her mother's Navajo heritage but with no established connections herself, Geller is confronted with this added grief of lost community when a memorial service brings her back to the reservation where her mother was raised. 

The writing in this memoir reflects the contradictions and tensions Geller felt as a person trying to grow up in a wildly dysfunctional household, attempting to break the cycles but with virtually no support to do so. Her role within her family -- immediate and extended -- is one of mature caregiver, even to those who traditionally should be providing her guidance. Geller's resilience is remarkable, but the memoir does not feel like a victory story, rather an endurance. Her circumstances are devastating, but somehow she maintains enough softness toward the people she loves to continue to be their touchstone even when it seems to be destroying her. This is a memoir of love but also extraordinary tragedy -- both acute and drawn-out. 

I marveled at Geller's ability to write both poetically and phlegmatically, as if her numbness seeped through her pen. Critically, there was no sense of apathy, but rather a sense of unease and resignation. The end of the book was exceptionally poignant: Geller doesn't "triumph" over her circumstances. But she chooses her life and herself, and does so in small, faithful ways. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Addiction, Alcoholism, Death of parent, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Grief, and Toxic relationship

Moderate: Abandonment, Animal cruelty, Body shaming, Child abuse, Infidelity, Physical abuse, Sexual assault, and Suicidal thoughts

Minor: Pregnancy

krys_kilz's review

challenging emotional reflective sad medium-paced

4.5

This book was HEAVY, so please be mindful of the trigger warnings before reading. With that said, this memoir felt almost easy in a way even though the subject matter was anything but. As the friend I read it with put it, it was like listening to a friend.

Geller's voice was refreshing. She doesn't sugar coat anything nor does she attempt to give her pain/trauma a deeper meaning or poetic beauty. She simply lays it all out without apology. And that raw vulnerability felt like a breath of fresh air. As a survivor, your story doesn't have to prioritize other people's comfort or inspire others with your unbelievable strength. It doesn't have to be palatable. It can just be.

I especially appreciated how Geller spoke about forgiveness and the repeating cycles of addiction and recovery. And how you cannot force other people to change no matter how much you love them. 

Structuring the memoir around archived family photos, journal entries, and letters was also a really cool writing methodology. 

tw: death of a parent, alcoholism, addiction, child abuse, domestic abuse

"...the longer I stood there, the more I realized I wasn't angry at myself. I wasn't even angry at my mother. I was angry at things outside our control. I was angry at the broken communities we were born into, and the godly men who perpetuated the cycles of abuse. Who told us to seek happiness in ignorance and faith in a God who seemed indifferent to our suffering. Who taught us to forgive too readily, and that forgiveness restored power, when in my experience, forgiveness had only taken my power away."

"Can't you see? Everything keeps repeating. All of this has happened before. I don't want you to end up like our parents."
Eileen took my hands, drew them down into her lap, and looked into my eyes. "I'm just happy you made it out," she said, softly. "It had to get one of us, you know?"

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Addiction, Alcoholism, Child abuse, Death of parent, Domestic abuse, and Drug use

Moderate: Pregnancy, Racism, Sexual assault, and Suicide attempt

betyourbuttons's review

challenging emotional reflective sad medium-paced

5.0

Heart wrenching, raw, & real, like sitting across the kitchen table late at night with a friend, learning things you never knew before. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Addiction, Alcoholism, Child abuse, Death of parent, and Domestic abuse

Moderate: Violence and Suicide attempt

mondovertigo's review

dark emotional reflective sad medium-paced

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Addiction, Domestic abuse, Death of parent, Infidelity, Alcoholism, and Drug abuse

Moderate: Child abuse and Pregnancy

Minor: Racism and Animal death

thunderousdandelion's review

emotional reflective medium-paced

5.0

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Content Warnings

Moderate: Alcoholism, Abandonment, Death, Death of parent, Alcohol, Child abuse, Emotional abuse, Addiction, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, and Drug use

emzireads's review

emotional reflective sad tense

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Alcoholism

Moderate: Death of parent, Suicide attempt, Mental illness, Emotional abuse, and Domestic abuse

rorikae's review

challenging emotional reflective medium-paced

3.75

'Dog Flowers' by Danielle Geller is a memoir that centers on Geller's memories of her mother interwoven with artifacts from her mother's life. The memoir is populated with photographs, letters, and other pieces that Geller found in her mother's belongings. As an archivist, Geller uses these pieces to supplement her own recollections of her mother as she delves into her memories as well as the aftermath of her mother's death. 
I really enjoyed the play of written essays with archival materials from Geller's mother. The addition of these pieces elevated the text and made it unique in a way that stands out from other memoirs that only utilize words. I do wish that these pieces had been interwoven more frequently into the text. They are inserted in groups, which works as a great supplement to the essays but I would have loved to see more direct commentary from Geller on specific pieces, especially those that include her. 
This is a hard memoir to read as Geller had a traumatic childhood and her family deals with a great deal of addiction, loss, and mental health issues. Geller does a great job of interweaving the different struggles that her family has gone through with her own quest to learn and understand more about her past. I hope that this will inspire more works that utilize archival pieces paired with memoir. I really enjoyed the audiobook but I will say that I recommend having the ebook or a physical copy on hand as well as the descriptions of the pieces are not quite a match for actually seeing them. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Addiction, Alcohol, Alcoholism, Toxic relationship, Mental illness, Grief, Emotional abuse, and Death of parent

Moderate: Death and Suicidal thoughts

buttermellow's review

challenging dark reflective sad slow-paced

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Domestic abuse, Abandonment, Addiction, Alcoholism, Child abuse, Emotional abuse, and Grief

Moderate: Death of parent, Drug use, and Suicide attempt