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calamityin's review
mysterious
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
1.0
Honestly, I had this rated much higher until the last hour, (I listened to the audio book). I didn't like Henna for most of it because I couldn't figure out who she was, but it got much worse after the car crash. Her pseudo-romantic relationship with Mike was fucked up. She knew that he liked her and started kissing him, but didn't enter into a real relationship with him because she would rather "experiment." That is basically the definition of emotional abuse. The line, "For someone I've never dated, you sure feel entitled to being jealous," was atrocious, because she knew he loved her, she was acting in private like they were a couple, but then in public like she was interested in someone else, which is just really messed up. And then this all resolves by Mike "realizing" that they actually don't belong together?? Really?? We're not even gonna address the way she was using him for weeks??
Not to mention the way Jared treated Mike. Like, sorry that you feel like you have to keep every single thing in your life a secret from your best friend, but that means that it's not his fault if his problems take up more time than yours in conversation. You refuse to divulge personal information and then get pissed at him when he does? Like, you're supposed to be his friend, and if you felt like you were more of a therapist, you should have fucking said something, not let it fester. And then telling everyone else about his relationship but not Mike, when he knew Mike was spiraling because of Henna and Nathan, is just cruel. He said it's because he didn't want to make Mike jealous, but like, he was already ruining his relationships with his other friends out of a different kind of jealousy and you had the ability to help him and you didn't just because you didn't want to hurt him. That makes no sense and you aren't a good friend.
Now that I've gotten that off my chest, here's some general reviews. The characters were interesting, although a bit flat. I didn't feel like any of them really grew or changed much over the course of the book.
I really enjoyed the way the book is formatted so that you get to know a lot about the setting, but it is also clear that it isn't the most important thing to the story. You understand what other people are doing, but it never gets in the way of what the main characters are doing.
All in all, I enjoyed the first chunk, but found the latter half and the ending more frustrating than anything and wish it had a bit more of a message to it. I feel like readers should learn something about toxic friendship or how to be better people to those around them, but it just kinda shows toxic friendships that magically resolve in the end because Mike realizes something everyone else already knew. It was a lazy ending without any real resolution to the problems it brought up. Not the mention the way a 19-year-old high schooler is casually dating a 25-year-old doctor and nobody sees this as weird.
Not to mention the way Jared treated Mike. Like, sorry that you feel like you have to keep every single thing in your life a secret from your best friend, but that means that it's not his fault if his problems take up more time than yours in conversation. You refuse to divulge personal information and then get pissed at him when he does? Like, you're supposed to be his friend, and if you felt like you were more of a therapist, you should have fucking said something, not let it fester. And then telling everyone else about his relationship but not Mike, when he knew Mike was spiraling because of Henna and Nathan, is just cruel. He said it's because he didn't want to make Mike jealous, but like, he was already ruining his relationships with his other friends out of a different kind of jealousy and you had the ability to help him and you didn't just because you didn't want to hurt him. That makes no sense and you aren't a good friend.
Now that I've gotten that off my chest, here's some general reviews. The characters were interesting, although a bit flat. I didn't feel like any of them really grew or changed much over the course of the book.
I really enjoyed the way the book is formatted so that you get to know a lot about the setting, but it is also clear that it isn't the most important thing to the story. You understand what other people are doing, but it never gets in the way of what the main characters are doing.
All in all, I enjoyed the first chunk, but found the latter half and the ending more frustrating than anything and wish it had a bit more of a message to it. I feel like readers should learn something about toxic friendship or how to be better people to those around them, but it just kinda shows toxic friendships that magically resolve in the end because Mike realizes something everyone else already knew. It was a lazy ending without any real resolution to the problems it brought up. Not the mention the way a 19-year-old high schooler is casually dating a 25-year-old doctor and nobody sees this as weird.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Animal cruelty, Toxic friendship, Toxic relationship, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Addiction, Car accident, and Alcoholism
Moderate: Self harm, Body horror, Terminal illness, Eating disorder, Injury/Injury detail, Animal death, and Police brutality
Minor: Blood, Infidelity, Death, Fatphobia, and Medical content
nannahnannah's review against another edition
5.0
Ohh, this book hit home on so many levels. I don't think there's a Patrick Ness book I haven't cried while reading yet . . . and to think I thought this was a comedy beforehand! Yeah, it's not a comedy, in case you thought it was. At all.
The Rest of Us Just Live Here takes place in the middle of nowhere, in a place a lot like most small towns, with one restaurant, a high school, lots of trees, etc. But the "indie kids" there (or hipsters as I know them in my own little middle of nowhere) tend to be part of something bigger: what you'd think would be the plotline of the next big-trending fantasy. The main character, Mikey, is definitely not an indie kid, and that big ol' plotline is not for him. Instead, he and his friends are simply inhabitants of the same town those "main characters" live in. And, well, this is their story.
The result is some mixed realistic/coming-of-age and fantasy genre that ends up blending really well, surprisingly.
Patrick Ness really knows how to nail characterization - and show character in a few words. It took to about page 17 for me to fall head over heals for all the main 4 protagonists, and they're all so real it's terrifying. (I mean, maybe it's partly because they're diverse and actually have mental illnesses/struggles with body issues/etc. but I don't need to go into that further.)
The writing is even stronger when it comes to family dynamics. Even the supposedly "bad" parents are more layered and complicated than I thought at first. Right when I make up my mind about someone I'm finding my belief challenged.
I'm a little disappointed at the fatphobia (even if it was just a 1-sentence line - maybe my standards are set a little high for Patrick Ness). It could be the character, not the author, of course! But it's hard to know when that line (in the character's thoughts) aren't challenged at all.
Okay, so I lied when I said I was done talking about the importance of writing diverse characters. Because Mikey's personal story has helped me come to some realizations about myself.
Mikey has OCD and anxiety, and when the anxiety gets worse, so does the OCD. Okay, so there's some novels that have MC's with OCD, but the way Mikey's thoughts and patterns are written is all too relatable. I don't have OCD, but a bfrb (body-focused repetitive behavior), specifically dermatillomania (skin picking disorder). There are passages that I need to stop reading because I'm literally sobbing. The way Mikey can't stop doing something, even when it's causing him pain. It's all written in a way that it's hard not to relate to and feel validated if you struggle with something similar. Mikey eventuallygoes to therapy for his problem, and goes on meds. (The conversation with his therapist--the entire thing--is the realest thing I've ever read. The discussion about "if I go on medication, does that mean I've failed?", the talk about being messed up, etc.) So, yeah, I think I need help, too. I'll probably bring this book with me. Moral support, you know.
I was going to talk about something else, too, but that's a bit spoilery for the book and a bit personal for me. So nah, not today.
In the end, the book reached out and pretty much grabbed my heart. It would be difficult for me to give it anything but five stars. (I've also forced it onto friends, so . . . )
The Rest of Us Just Live Here takes place in the middle of nowhere, in a place a lot like most small towns, with one restaurant, a high school, lots of trees, etc. But the "indie kids" there (or hipsters as I know them in my own little middle of nowhere) tend to be part of something bigger: what you'd think would be the plotline of the next big-trending fantasy. The main character, Mikey, is definitely not an indie kid, and that big ol' plotline is not for him. Instead, he and his friends are simply inhabitants of the same town those "main characters" live in. And, well, this is their story.
The result is some mixed realistic/coming-of-age and fantasy genre that ends up blending really well, surprisingly.
Patrick Ness really knows how to nail characterization - and show character in a few words. It took to about page 17 for me to fall head over heals for all the main 4 protagonists, and they're all so real it's terrifying. (I mean, maybe it's partly because they're diverse and actually have mental illnesses/struggles with body issues/etc. but I don't need to go into that further.)
The writing is even stronger when it comes to family dynamics. Even the supposedly "bad" parents are more layered and complicated than I thought at first. Right when I make up my mind about someone I'm finding my belief challenged.
I'm a little disappointed at the fatphobia (even if it was just a 1-sentence line - maybe my standards are set a little high for Patrick Ness). It could be the character, not the author, of course! But it's hard to know when that line (in the character's thoughts) aren't challenged at all.
Okay, so I lied when I said I was done talking about the importance of writing diverse characters. Because Mikey's personal story has helped me come to some realizations about myself.
Mikey has OCD and anxiety, and when the anxiety gets worse, so does the OCD. Okay, so there's some novels that have MC's with OCD, but the way Mikey's thoughts and patterns are written is all too relatable. I don't have OCD, but a bfrb (body-focused repetitive behavior), specifically dermatillomania (skin picking disorder). There are passages that I need to stop reading because I'm literally sobbing. The way Mikey can't stop doing something, even when it's causing him pain. It's all written in a way that it's hard not to relate to and feel validated if you struggle with something similar. Mikey eventually
I was going to talk about something else, too, but that's a bit spoilery for the book and a bit personal for me. So nah, not today.
In the end, the book reached out and pretty much grabbed my heart. It would be difficult for me to give it anything but five stars. (I've also forced it onto friends, so . . . )
Content Warnings
Moderate: Alcoholism, Suicidal thoughts, and Eating disorder
Minor: Fatphobia
urlocalhethey's review against another edition
So fatphobic for literally no reason
Content Warnings
Graphic: Fatphobia
saintyeehaw's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
lighthearted
mysterious
reflective
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.0
This book could be fun and frustrating at the same time. The characters are interesting but the book's refusal to even say the word "bisexual" is ridiculous as one character debates whether they are straight or gay . There are a few moments of blatant fatphobia despite one character literally suffering from an eating disorder . There was also a gross comment fetishizing mixed race babies from the only known poc character in the book which was uncomfortable. Additionally, there is a romantic relationship between a 19yr old and a 25-26yr old (aka a high schooler and a college graduate) which is super questionable. Otherwise the story is okay, nothing too remarkable. The characters often feel flat with only one or two big traits.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Ableism, Blood, Chronic illness, Dementia, Fatphobia, Fire/Fire injury, Body shaming, Car accident, Child abuse, Injury/Injury detail, Mental illness, Suicidal thoughts, Adult/minor relationship, Alcoholism, Animal death, Body horror, Eating disorder, and Emotional abuse
Moderate: Cancer, Death, Cursing, and Grief
Minor: Biphobia, Gaslighting, Police brutality, War, and Alcohol
booksthatburn's review
I wanted to like this, but I generally don't like YA contemporary, and once all the weird/magic/superhero stuff is confined to brief glimpses and chapter headings, it leaves an interestingly framed YA contemporary novel where crushes, school dances, and ongoing parental neglect are the big stakes. I'm not interested in those stakes, but if you are then this might work for you. The depiction of OCD was realistic in a way that might be triggering for anyone else who has it, including a lot of ideation. I haven't read anything else I can recall with such a realistic portrayal of this condition, so I liked that inclusion, but that wasn't enough to hold my interest (especially when that started getting stressful for me). It has a very irreverent tone which is used for everything from crush woes to discussions of current and past trauma, so please check the CWs before proceeding.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Mental illness and Self harm
Moderate: Emotional abuse, Car accident, Injury/Injury detail, Death, Suicidal thoughts, Animal death, Ableism, Fatphobia, Alcoholism, Dementia, Medical content, Medical trauma, Blood, and Gore
Minor: Sexual content, Adult/minor relationship, Child death, Eating disorder, Homophobia, Vomit, and Excrement
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